The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter
Chapter Twenty-Six: Happy New Year Is a Hypocritical Statement
Authors Note: Some time in February I'll be out do to health issues and mad doctors.
Disclaimer: Never listen to the Lonestar song, "I'm Already There" when Lily is having an emotional breakdown. It's depressing. This isn't mine.
Dedication: To the caring nurses who gave me Novocain and morphine.
Later
My room
My mother was pregnant at age 17. My brothers and I were not conceived until she was 20. Where the hell are my missing siblings? Because, if she was pregnant, then she would have given birth, right? And then those children would have been part of the Potter family. But there are no other children. So what happened to the other children?
Lily
December 31st, 5:56 PM
The Kitchen
It's New Years Eve. What joy. A new year. Another sad wasted time in my life. This means that school starts in…no…five days!!! WHY???
School can't start! My life is starting to fall apart! Why is school starting again? It can't start again!
Mum has been really withdrawn lately. I mean, that's nothing unusual for her around this time of year, because about twenty years ago, there was an attack on new years ago Voldemort attacked a New Years Eve party and killed a lot of people, and New Years Day is also the day that he was killed. I don't see why Mum would be sad about that, but I guess she was at that party, and was one of the few that survived. She always gets really sad. It's kinda depressing, and Dad tried his best to cheer her up, but nothing seems to work.
Someone is screaming for me upstairs, so I must go.
Lily
Later
My room—grounded
I left Mum's journal lying around, and she found it, and figured out that I had it. We had a huge fight, and I yelled about how she is hiding something from us, and she said I was grounded, and here I am. Sitting in my room, cold, alone, grounded. –Sigh-
Well, it kinda figures, with karma and everything, but this is really a crappy way to start out a new year. I know that she will find some way to hold it above my head for a long time and never let me have any peace. I'm considering running away again. But that will do no good.
Write more later,
Lily
January 1st, 6:54 AM
St. Mungo's
Nothing happened to me, I swear. But it's such a joy to ring in the New Year in a hospital. And for once, it wasn't me! No, it was Jay. She had a mental breakdown.
We were all sitting around my living room doing stupid things when someone asked Bray what vampires do on their days off, when Jay suddenly started crying. She fell on the floor and was shaking, and when Sean tried to calm her down, she magically threw him across the room. Bray just ran out of the room, and came back with a goblet of blood, saying
"Oh…she didn't take it! Why?" And grabbed Jay and forced some blood down her. It seemed to help a little, but then Jay threw Bray across the room magically as well. Dad finally stunned her, and told us all to go to bed, and took Jay to the ministry to have her looked at. All the while Bray was screaming,
"No! They don't understand! Please! Don't take her there!" But Dad just shook his head and flooed over, making sure to lock the floo so no one except him or Mum could floo.
Mum ushered the rest of us to bed, and Bray locked herself in her room. I went to my room and sat in my bed, crying, wishing that everything could be better.
Dad came back later, and told us that Jay was at St. Mungo's, and she just had a breakdown. So here we are, really the only family that Jay and Bray has that cares enough to be here with them, sitting in the waiting area of St. Mungo's. Dan is asleep right next to me. He looks so sweet when he sleeps. Like an angel. But anyways…Bray has run off to some part of the hospital, supposedly to find some alone time, and the rest of us are…here.
Lily
Later
St. Mungo's
Dan and I just got back from making out. It was nice. Jay's calmed a bit. Well, enough for Bray to come near her without being blasted across the hall. Which is an improvement from three hours ago. They sent in some people who are "trained" in dealing with vampires. They have no idea what is going on with Jay, just like the rest of us. But the ministry is stupid, and insists that any magical "creatures" be investigated when they could be a threat to others. My best friends are not creatures! Special ministry task force people had to question Bray to make sure that she and Jay were dinking blood on a regular basis, taking some potion, and all this crap.
I dunno…everything has been really weird since Christmas. I've considered running away to Ron's several times because Mum is really getting on my nerves. I can feel my relationship with Dan falling apart again. It's just not working out between us. I mean, we both like each other, but when we do go out…there's nothing. I think I was better off single. It's just better that way. I just have to figure out a way to dump Dan.
Lily
January 2nd, 4:56 PM
My Bedroom
Dad took us home yesterday, letting Jay and Bray be alone at the hospital. Their magical parents were supposed to show up today, and this would be the first time they would meet their real parents. Bray was nervous about it, and Jay was too doped out to care. The healers gave her some powerful stuff, because she is hardly conscious.
Dan talked to me today. He was complaining about how his dad has been on his case lately about finding his own flat, and wanted to know if I wanted to go flat hunting with him today. I said no, and so here I am, sitting in my bed, trying to figure out a way to dump Dan. It's hard. I don't know what to say to him, and I have no idea how to go about this. Should I give him a letter? Or tell him in person? It's confusing.
I'm going to eat.
Lily
January 3rd, 5:45 AM
I'm going to tell him in person.
No, in a note.
No. In person. It's much more personal.
But he dumped me in a note.
But I don't follow the crowd.
But not doing it in person makes me seem like a coward. And that's the last thing I want to come off as.
A letter would make things simple though.
But in person just seems better and more mature.
I'm lost. I don't know what to do.
Lily
January 5th, 5:45 PM
Great Hall
Back to school. Great. But hey, that's what being seventeen in the wizarding world is about, right? Going to school, having your band never come to life while you are at school, see one of your friends nearly die; break up with your boyfriend…
And that part I haven't done yet. I know, I should, but have you ever really thought about it? I mean, first off, how do you go about breaking someone's heart who really loves you? We have both tried to make this relationship work, but its not, and I am not taking his route and breaking up with him in a letter. That's the route that hurts more I think. So I'll be doing it in person. But what do I say?
Lily
Later, 10:23 PM
My dorm
I talked to Bray about it. Jay is still in Mungo's and I think I might sneak out on night and talk to her about it. Bray said that I should tell him that we need a break from each other, but that means that it will come off to Dan that I still think there is hope that we will get back together. Which I know will never happen.
In other news, they got a new Transfiguration teacher. Her name is Professor Malfoy. Yes, Hermione is teaching Transfiguration. And Dan and Drew are in absolute shock. I mean, we can't do anything when she is around. Nothing. If we do, my mum finds out, and that can bring nothing but horror.
I dunno…I want Jay to come back, and besides Hermione teaching here, nothing new has happened. Professor McGonagall said that exams are going to be next week, so about everyone is cramming for exams, except me. I don't see the point in taking them. I mean, how are grades going to help me in ten years when I'll probably be unmarried with a kid living off of welfare in the streets! I've tried to tell Mum that, but of course she won't hear it. I don't think that she realizes that the only reason anyone in her year graduated from Hogwarts was if they could stun someone, which isn't really basis to graduate someone.
But, life's supposed to be like this. It's supposed to not make sense. Right now I want nothing more than to just be out of my relationship with Dan and to have my two best friends in good health, and get Hogwarts over with. I know I'll be a failure. Look at this diary! I mean, sure I saved Dan from house elves and uncertain death, but what other great things have I done? Nothing! I have to work hard for my grades, and I am hardly passing Herbology! It's just difficult right now! Who am I?
WHO AM I??????
Everyone knows me as Harry and Ginny Potter's daughter or they find out what my name is, and get teary eyed because they think of what happened on Halloween a long time ago!
But what about me? How can you define who I am? There is no way to! My spot in a band is completely hopeless, every single relationship I am ever in fails, and I don't know how to change anything. I need a break.
Lily
Later
My dorm, in tears
I just saw Dan kissing Libby in the hallway.
End Notes: I know, cliffy again. I was proof reading, and that came to me. Heartache is fun to write in the holiday season.
I would forever love everyone if you reviewed. You all read this because you think it is funny. Not because Lily hates life and her boyfriend cheats on her.