The Diary of Lily Audrey Potter

Chapter Twenty-Nine: The Maid of Horror

Authors Note: Never in my life did I think I was going to get to this point. But I have. Almost thirty chapters. Wow. I'm in a mood, so Lily's going to be quirky. I started doing some deep thinking into Lily's character…so this chapter is going to be different from all the others. Sort of like chapter seven, only not like it. It's confusing, but you'll understand once you read.

Review Responses at the bottom.

Disclaimer: (I've pulled a Random Friend into this unknowingly.)

Me: Do I own Harry Potter and Co.?

Random Friend: No

Me: Thank You.

Me: "I thought it was Maid of Horror, or something like that." What movie is that line based off of?

Random Friend: I dunno

Me: "Freaky Friday". Get it together, man.

Dedication: To all my reviewers. Because you're not getting a chapter for a long time. Something called "School".

January 25th, 9:30 AM

My Dorm

I've toilet papered Libby's dorm. And stolen all her cosmetics and thrown them out in the snow. Wahahahaha!!! Feel my revenge bitch!

Yes. I'm feeling good. I've just wreaked havoc on my archenemy, its all good. She'll never live after all her cosmetics have been destroyed. And there is nothing she can do about it.

Yes, I am evil.

Lily

Later, 7:30 PM

The Library

I just got back from detention. With Hermione of all people! She said I shouldn't have done that to Libby because it lowers me to her level, but do I look like I care? She's trashed my life since I met her in Daycare, and has never let me rest since then! And what have I done? Nothing! I haven't bitten back until now.

Some third year ratted me out when they saw me flying up to the Hufflepuff seventh year dorm window. Libby ran into the Great Hall at breakfast completely covered in toilet paper, and screaming.

"Did you do that?" Bray asked me. I nodded.

"Great job!" Jay said. Of course Libby started screaming, and the third year yelled,

"IT'S HER! THAT LILY GIRL! I SAW HER!" And Hermione hulled my arse into detention lecturing me on "delinquency" and how I "can never behave like an adolescent my age should." Then I asked her if she wanted me to fight for house elf rights, or something like that, and she said yes, and launched into another lecture on how house elves are treated and why she doesn't own any.

So I've just gotten out of detention and I decided to go to the library to work on homework, but that's not happening, an owl just dropped a letter and a howler off. And it's Saturday for goodness sake!

Lily

Ten Minutes Later

Well, I have to say I got yelled at for what I did to Libby. But Dad, in true fashion, slipped in a "Good Job Lily." And then Mum started screaming at him whilst angry at me.

Anyway…the letter. She told me what happened that night. I don't have time to write it in here, but basically she was hit with a stunning spell and fell down three flights of stairs and nearly killed. So she obviously lost the baby. Which is really sad. I started crying and a fifth year threw some tissues at me. I feel guilty. I shouldn't be here. There should be some other child, another Potter, perhaps named Ben or something like that. Not four children, who due to an extremely strong receiving spell were born at the same time. My brothers and I shouldn't even be alive.

This really puts into perspective what Voldemort really did to people's lives. He murdered and unborn baby. How cruel could he possibly be? That's just…evil. And Mum said Dad blamed himself for it. Because he couldn't stop Voldemort before, so his unborn child—it was a boy they later learned—had to suffer. I don't think Dad should blame himself. It's not his fault Voldemort was like that.

It kinda makes me realize how safe we are today. We know that evil wizards to Voldemort's standards will never come into existence again. We know that. But then, anything was possible. Is it really that hard to believe that just twenty years ago the world was nothing like it is today? That's scary to me.

Lily

January 27th, 2:45 PM

Transfiguration

Right. So everything is just weird right now. I kinda regret asking Mum, but in some ways it was good, because now I know. And it's not a secret anymore.

I got an owl today from Sirius, he's training for Quidditch right now, because he hopes to go out for England soon. Luna's pregnant. I'm like, great. Next New Years Eve she'll be carrying around a baby. Wonderful. Since Mum is her best friend, there'll be some sort of party, which half of wizarding society is going to be invited to.

Hermione is asking questions, so I need to act like I know what the hell she is talking about.

Lily

Later, 7:30

The Library with Jay and Bray

Jay and Bray are fighting over a wedding dress. Bray wants to design Jay a dress, but Jay hates the dress she drew, and wants Bray to design one similar to one in a catalog their "real" parents sent her, and Bray refuses, as she will not be in the same league as a designer outfitter, and will not wear lavender on her bride's maid dress. I have yet to mention that no one will ever get me in any dress besides the one I wore to the New Years Eve Party.

"Why don't you just elope?" I suggest, I'll mention the dress thing when Jay is in a better mood.

"WHAT? ARE YOU INSANE?" Jay asks me.

"Yes, yes I am." I reply.

"That's brilliant! Jay, elope." Bray chimes in.

"What?"

"Elope."

"Sean will never go for it. It was his idea to have a traditional wedding anyways." Great. Bray's summoning Sean. And here he comes flying now. Sometimes having friends like them can be a little trying.

"Sean! What a surprise!" Bray says. "How do you feel about eloping?"

"With you?" He asks.

"No. With Jay. Over Valentines Day or something."

"Uh…"

"Oh, this is ridiculous." Jay says, closing her book. "Sean, Bray's just feeling tension about being my Maid of Honor."

"I thought it was Maid of Horror, or something like that." I speak.

"No Lily, its HONOR, not HORROR. And I thought Bray was dense." Jay sighed.

"No, I think it's a great idea. Jay, we're eloping." Sean says.

"WHAT?" Jay, Bray, and I scream.

"Shut up back there!" Madam Sage yells.

"Yes. Over Valentines Day. Lily and Bray can be our witnesses. I'll get two groomsmen together, and we'll get married." And he walks away, but comes back for his shampoo.

"So, I guess I'm eloping then." Jay says, shaking her head and collecting her books.

"Yes, it would seem that way." I say.

REVIEW RESPONSES

Merusa—I'm delighted that you like the story. I find that while people find this story humorous, I often take what happens in my life and in some way twist it so it'll fit into the story. Lily is the person I find myself always wanting to be—extremely care free and her problems are often ridiculous. I have been told this story is my "autobiography told through different people" and I think it's great that you can relate to the characters.

Baily—well, thank you for my first flame! It'll keep me warm on this frigid night. I know you are not reading this, but I think you need to realize something. The character is a seventeen year old girl. The story is being written by an equally stupid teenage girl. Seventeen year old girls are often stupid, exaggerate, and sometimes "cheesy" as you put it. I myself find I am like that. I'm deeply sorry it sounded too "valley girl", and can't help it that I am in Midwestern America and who I was (and am still being) raised as. Hell, I've never gone to Canada. I have seen bits of Mexico without crossing the border, though. And they have MTV in England people.

Jaessa—hullo. Well, no, it's not weird to feel depressed by this story, I almost cried while writing this chapter. I HIGHLY discourage ANYONE from listening to the song, "The Truth" by GC while reading this chapter. I put it on repeat when I was writing this and nearly cried.

Glittericous—I hope this solved your question.

Please be a reasonable reader and review.

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