Foreign Exchange Camper
Note: Camp Lazlo fan-fiction (yes…again). A posh, upper crust brat by the name of Rodney Rooster has been sent away to camp against his own will. Rodney has no real desire to be a Bean Scout, let alone participate until Edward befriends him. Like Edward, Rodney is a bit of a jerk, but Lazlo, Raj and Clam absolutely adore him and look up to him. Matters become rocky when Rodney falls for Patsy, however…
"I treat my body like a temple you treat yours like a tent !"—some lyrics from the song 'Fruitcakes' as sung by the incomparable Jimmy Buffet
Chapter 1—I Say, My Good Man
Rodney pleaded with his parents Rhonda and Robert not to be sent to Camp Kidney this summer. Rodney wasn't a big fan of camping, although he liked nature. Rodney wasn't one to cry when he didn't get his way, but he did whine and complain. He even clung to the resident butler before being escorted to the plane that would take him to America. He didn't know why he had been selected among millions of other potential kids his age to go to camp. Surely there would've been hundreds, no, thousands, that wished to go to an American camp and meet some new American friends, but not Rodney. Rodney had no time for mingling with the lower class.
It would ruin his image. However, he knew that he had no choice in the matter and would be meeting the campers at Camp Kidney at approximately 8:00 AM EST tomorrow. If he was lucky, he wouldn't have to associate too terribly much with them and he could demand to go home if he wasn't satisfied. All he would have to do is radio Jenkins the butler and be escorted off of Camp Kidney via helicopter. It was always a flashy way to make an exit and left everyone in awe, but what Rodney didn't realize was he was actually going to like camp…
Chapter 2—Of Like Mind
Rodney was placed with the Jelly Bean Cabin and he already loathed the Jelly Beans, particularly Lazlo. Lazlo was far too hyper for his own good, according to Rodney. However, the three looked up to him and thought he was incredibly cool. They wanted to be just like him and speak with his incredibly suave accent. If it was one thing the three campers knew, the ladies loved the accents. Despite all of the hero worship, Rodney still didn't care for the manic trio.
He had to get away from them as soon as possible. This was the point that he met the Platypus, Edward. Edward was similar to Rodney, only much more of a bully. Edward didn't realize he had a Napoleonic complex, but he also hated those who could have so much merriment and be oblivious to the reality of the outside world. The two became fast friends and decided to concoct a plan that would either get the Jelly Beans lost or have them swimming up the river for a few days. Just that thought in mind made the two laugh.
"I didn't think I'd ever get around to liking you Yanks, but you're not all that bad.", Rodney said, laughing as he was sitting next to Edward in the cafeteria.
"Glad you think so, Rod. Can I call you Rod ?", Edward asked.
"Sure, but you're the only one that can.", Rodney answered. The two continued chatting and laughing as lunch continued and then heard Slinkman call the campers over the PA to be prepared for the activities they would be doing today. Rodney hadn't gotten any merit badges because he simply didn't want to participate but now his attitude had changed. He knew being the smartest of all the campers at Camp Kidney, catching up on merit badges would be a cinch.
Chapter 3—Boys versus Girls
The girls from Acorn Flats had been invited to Camp Kidney for the board game competition. It was a camp tradition to hold this annual tournament and campers from everywhere had come to prove their skills. To this day, Camp Kidney had never won the first place trophy before, but they had always gotten second place, which was better than nothing.
Rodney was particularly competitive and he had never lost, especially when it came to board games. The campers didn't realize this until he won all of the games that had been set in front of him. First prize was in the bag and it was really not much of a challenge for him.
Buffing his nails, Rodney reclined on the side of the Quonset hut where the tournament had been held.
"Easy peasy, one two three.", Rodney said, smirking cockily, placing his hands in his pockets.
"I see you're quite the master of games.", Patsy said, complimenting him. Not knowing who had complimented him until he removed his shades he adored the attention he was being shown.
"Of course. Did you expect any less of me, Edward ? Oh, wait…Blimey ! You're not Edward…", Rodney said, his face becoming flushed.
"No, I'm not sure where your friend went but my name is Patsy. What's your name ?", Patsy said, being friendly as usual.
"I'm Rodney, but you can call me Rod, if you like. You're quite fetching.", Rodney said, smoothing back his ruddy hair, trying to look suave. Patsy wasn't impressed by his display, but it was obvious that Rodney was already head over feet for Patsy.
Chapter 4—This Means War
When Lazlo saw Rodney trying to put the moves on Patsy, for the first time he became jealous. As far as he was concerned, Patsy was his girlfriend, well at least potentially.
"Oh, hi, Lazlo !", Patsy said, flirtatiously, blinking her feathery eyelashes. Lazlo grinned and blushed slightly.
"I see you've been talking to Rodney. Isn't he the coolest ?", Lazlo said, trying to give Rodney a slight guilt trip. If he hadn't gotten the message that Lazlo was interested in Patsy and vice versa.
"He a friend of yours ? I should've known. Lazlo, you're incredible.", Patsy said giggling, hands behind her back. Lazlo laughed, and blushed once again.
"It was a terrific game we had against you girls this year. Glad to have had another invigorating match once more.", Lazlo said, shaking her hand firmly. Patsy unexpectedly hugged him and tittered girlishly.
"I concur. I hope to be seeing you again soon, Lazlo. Scoutmaster Doe's calling me though, so I must bid you adieu.", Patsy said, waving goodbye as she ran back to the other Squirrel Scouts. Lazlo sighed as he watched her leave Camp Kidney. Suddenly, Rodney grabbed him by the collar and met Lazlo's worshipping gaze with his fearsome emerald orbs.
"I don't know what that adorable mongoose finds in you, Lazlo, but mark my words…Before I leave this camp, Patsy will be my girlfriend.", Rodney said, his tone rash and harsh. To think Lazlo had looked up to him before. His image of Rodney had been shattered and he felt his heart breaking as he fell towards the ground. Rodney left, not even bothering to say anything more, and besides, he really couldn't care less.
Raj and Clam saw their best friend where they had left him, holding his legs to his chest and crying.
"What is the matter, Lazlo ? This isn't like you.", Raj stated, becoming worried for his friend.
"Not like you.", Clam repeated, draping an arm around Lazlo's shoulders. Raj joined in and the three were huddled together as penguins in Antarctica do in the harsh winter season.
"Rodney is not our friend. He threatened to force Patsy to become his girlfriend. He knows very well, mind you, that she isn't interested in a bad boy like him.", Lazlo said, sniffling and stuttering a little.
"Not good ! Nuh uh, not good, no Sir ! ", Clam said, shaking his head from side to side.
"What are we going to do about that, then ?", Raj asked.
"As much as I would love for you two to help, this is between myself and Rodney. I think a manly game of Old Maid will set him straight. I should have no trouble showing him who's the better player.", Lazlo said.
"Very well then. We'll be watching you and cheering for you on the sidelines. If he tries to hurt you though, well…I'll let Clam deal with that.", Raj answered, honestly.
"Kick butt !", Clam said, innocently although very seriously. What was to follow would be the most memorable day in the campers' young lives. As for Rodney, he would learn there were plenty of other fish in the sea.
Chapter 5—Old Maid Showdown
Lazlo stared down Rodney from the opposite side of the cafeteria table. Tensions were mounting and bets were being made. Edward had bet all of his salary on Rodney to win the game, but Old Maid was Lazlo's forte. It was clear that Lazlo was winning and he won the first game without breaking into a sweat.
"Well played, Rodney. I haven't played a game like that in a long while. Does this mean we can still be friends and Patsy can still be my girlfriend ?", Lazlo asked, grinning. Rodney was grimacing, but then smiled. He realized that Lazlo really wasn't so bad after all. He didn't see why Edward wanted to make his life miserable, but he could see how Lazlo's chipper attitude could grate on someone's nerves after a while. Nonetheless, he had decided to agree and turn his attitude around. Of course, he would still be a little bit of a rebel but he wouldn't be the bully he was when he first came to Camp Kidney. His close minded attitude was changed but his character and ego remained in tact. Oh well, Rome wasn't built in a day.
Epilogue
It was a sorrowful day when Rodney had to return to England but he promised he would send his friends a letter every day. Edward, who had thought he had a friend in Rodney, was more than happy to see the "traitor turn tail and run back to jolly old England". Rodney didn't hear him say anything over the noise of the transporter jet that lowered its stairwell to his feet and lifted him inside. Before the jet took off, he waved goodbye to his new friends.
"Are you crying, Master Rodney ?", Jenkins the butler asked.
"No, no Jenkins. I just had something in my eye. But next summer I simply must return to Camp Kidney. I had a smashing time.", Rodney said, smiling genuinely for the first time.
He had so much to tell his parents about and he had learned there was more to life than country clubs and breeding horses. The only thing that mattered was friendship and just enjoying oneself, being true to one's heart and cutting loose every so often. Granted, the gradual changes within his transforming heart would take time but if it hadn't been for Lazlo's courage, he wouldn't have wanted to make himself a better rooster.
The End
September 4, 2005