Festus paced at the bottom of Doc's stairs, debating whether or not to go up them. On the one hand, he was sure that the sharp pain in his gut was from the lousy dinners he'd had the night before at Delmonico's; or the plate of pork and beans at Ma Smalley's; or possibly the three pieces of Mamie's pie - but it would be gone by noon. On the other hand, what if he was wrong. He looked up the stairs toward the door beyond and took a few steps toward the bottom, but stopped again. He'd wager the nickel he had in his pocket that ol' Doc would just make fun of him if he did go up there. His hand instinctively squeezed at the soreness in his left side, and a slight grimace twisted his lips. He started up the stairs. A moment later he heard the door open, and he turned right back around, heading toward the street.

"Festus? Festus, hold on there..." Haggen stopped, but didn't turn around to face Adams. The old man growled at him. "Were you coming up to see me?"

"Well, no, not actual-like...well, mebbe...sorta."

Adams stared at the man, consternation on his face. "Well were ya or weren'tcha?"

Haggen began to fidget slightly under the stare of the smaller man before him, suddenly unsure of where to rest his hands. Doc's brow furrowed.

"Festus...what in tarnation's the matter with you this morning? You're actin' mighty peculiar."

"I ain't actin' peculie nor no other such-a-thang!"

"Really."

"Yes, really, ya dang billy goat."

Festus began to walk away, but Doc followed him. "Seems to me you're favorin' one side there this mornin'."

Festus stopped and snarled at the older man. "I ain't neither! Shows what you know, ya old quackety-quack..."

Doc gently reached around to Haggen's left side and squeezed slightly, eliciting a howl of discomfort. The old man's chin stuck out indignantly.

"Quack am I?"

Doc started away, but Festus grabbed ahold of his sleeve, causing the physician to jerk his arm away. "You just keep your mangy hands off me!"

Once again, Adams turned and began walking away.

"Doc?"

The soft tone stopped the doctor, but he didn't turn around. He felt the hand on his shoulder a minute later.

"Doc...it sorta aches..."

Finally Adams turned around, sighing, resigned to the fact of what would follow. "All right, come on up to the office, and I'll take a look atcha, although I know I'll never see a darned penny for my efforts!"

"Now thar ya go agin, just snappin' like a old feisty dog...Ow!" Festus bent over slightly in pain, and concerned that something could be seriously wrong, Doc put a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Okay now, lemme help you up the stairs." Adams guided the deputy up the steps, through the door and onto the examination table. "Lie down."

Festus obeyed. "Probably just somethin' I ate."

One of Doc's eyebrows raised, a sharp comment on his tongue, but he resisted the temptation. Instead, he gently probed the area that seemed to be bothering Haggen, and then walked over to his medicine cabinet. Festus looked at him with alarm.

"What's wrong with me, Doc?"

The physician pulled down a bottle of white powder, poured some into a glass of water and mixed it, handing it to Haggen.

"Drink that."

"Doc?"

"Just do what I tell ya, Festus. There ain't nothin' drastically wrong with ya at all, you've just got a case of acute gastrointestinal disturbance."

Haggen stopped drinking and looked at the old man. "Gastry-what's it?"

"Don't tell me, let me guess...you ate two dinners at Delmonico's, then went over to Ma Smalley's and had another, and finished it all off with a few pieces of Mamie's peach pie."

"Three."

"What? You're lucky you didn't explode, ya know that?"

The deputy squinted at the doctor. "Well ya don't have ta sound so cranky 'bout it, dag-blaned ol' scudder."

Doc pointed to the half-empty glass. "Finish that!"

Festus made a sound of disgust and drained the contents, following it up with a face indicating his distaste. He foisted the glass at the physician.

"Here...now I 'spose yer gonna tell me I owe ya a dollar."

Doc's eyes narrowed. "No. You owe me twenty cents, but since I know you'll never pay that, I'll take a beer at the Longbranch."

"Fine. I'll buy ya a beer later."

"Oh no you don't, you'll buy me a beer now!"

"Of all the low-down thangs ta say to a feller...I ain't gonna stiff ya!"

Doc moved Festus toward the door. "Yeah, I know you're not gonna, because I'm collecting right now!"

The old man breezed past Festus, who closed the door with slightly more force than necessary. "Ornery ol' rooster!"

The doctor's voice carried up the stairs, "I heard that!"

"Good!"