Truth
By Gumnut
19 Nov 2002

Truth can be altered by perspective. What one sees may not be what another sees, warped by experience and bias, interest and gain. The truth is out there, but, like time, truth is relative.

The air was full of dust. Waving his hand in front of his face, he coughed as he walked into the galley. He must ask Pilot about that, perhaps the air-recyclers were on the fritz again.

The room was dark, but he was just able to make out a shape sitting at the table.

"Noranti?"

"John." Aeryn.

He almost turned and fled. His fingers made to reach for his pocket, searching for the bottled relief, but he could feel her eyes on him. Those dark eyes. He cleared his throat.

"Aeryn, have you seen Noranti?"

She didn't answer him, she stood up and walked towards him. "John we need to talk."

He flinched, his own words used on himself. "Aeryn, I…"

"John, please, let me talk to you."

It itched at the back of his throat, and teared in his eyes. He turned from her. "Aeryn, I can't."

"John, I love you…beyond hope." His throat strangled the breath from his chest.

He could feel her behind him. The fine hairs on the back of his neck stood on end as if reaching out to her, but his muscles clenched, as if in pain or fear. He couldn't, he shouldn't…but would he?

Her hand touched his shoulder. He flinched as if burned and spun to face her. "Aeryn, I can't keep doing this." In the dark he could still see his reflection in the tears in her eyes. Something inside him broke. "I can't." It came out in a breathless whisper.

"John, do you love me?"

The answer came without thought, tripping over his tongue. "Yes."

"Then why?"

"Because it hurts, Aeryn!" It ripped itself from him, a desperate tear-filled anger. "I keep loving you…you keep leaving. You don't trust me, I don't trust you,…I can't even trust myself anymore." His head fell into his hands. "I…oh…it hurts so much."

Arms encircled him, embracing him, drawing him to the floor. She murmured words of comfort in his ear and despite himself, he clung to her. Her arms were a cool warmth around him, his head resting on her shoulder, her hand on the back of his neck.

"John, I promise you now, that if it is what you want, I will not leave you. I will stay with you for as long as I can. If that is what you want."

His answer was a muffled sob.

She gently drew his head up to face hers. Her eyes met his in the depths of his misery. His despair emanated from him in waves. She coasted them and her lips touched his in a simple kiss. She lingered, then leaning back, asked, "What does that taste like?"

He turned away and didn't answer.

"What do you want, John?" He glanced back at her, red-rimmed eyes vacant. She shook him. "What do you want?"

He sighed, suddenly exhausted. "You know what I want, Aeryn. It is what I have wanted since I set foot on this ship."

"So why don't you take it?"

The voice had changed. The woman that held him was no longer Aeryn.

Noranti.

John flung himself away from her, hitting the table, knocking dishes to the floor, scrabbling to his feet.

"You…you…you, BITCH!" He was furious, his hand reaching for Winona.

She stood, hands outstretched, trying to calm him. "John. John, listen to me."

Her answer was a pulse pistol barrel shoved in her face.

"Why?" His knuckles were white tipped on the pistol grip.

"I think you need to answer that question yourself."

"Don't mess with my mind, old woman, answer the question."

"Seek the truth, John, within yourself."

"What truth?" He spat it out.

"You love her, don't you?" He glared at her. "And she loves you."

"It's not that simple!" Winona shook.

A finger came up and gently pushed the pulse pistol barrel away and down. Noranti walked past him and stood in the doorway. "Life is what you make it, John." She turned and left.

He stared hopelessly after her, Winona dangling by his side.

"It's not that simple."

xxxxx
FIN