In My Life

Maybe it was the long nights. Perhaps all the special projects.

At least, that was the conjecture in the office gossip. That was only a natural assumption, as the long nights were the first signs that something was out of the ordinary.

The truth was it went back father than that. Even farther back than the fight in the ball room.

It went all the way back to day one, to the day when Cagalli wound up flat on her back covered in stray folders.

He thought that her eyes would devour his soul that very minute. She saw something special in his unfailing kindness.

Three months after the party they were making excuses to work late or on the weekends. Their most often used excuse was that they were working overtime on trying to turn the company around, which was only partially true. By the fifth month Athrun had become the de facto number two in the organization, taking charge of a number of critical projects. By the sixth it was fairly obvious to everyone but themselves that they were head over heels for each other. And as a result, many of the employees sent news and reports through Athrun as he was the only fearless messenger around.

Cagalli accepted the offered clipboard, but didn't look at it immediately. "Have you go that thing done yet?"

"To which thing are you referring?" Athrun cocked an eyebrow. He was trying to get a rise out of her.

It worked. "Are you insinuating that I'm a slave driver?"

"Me? Never. But I do need to talk to you about a washer and dryer combo. My office is going to need one after the past week of sleeping on a cot by the desk. I haven't been home long enough to wash the sheets."

Instead of blowing her top, she threw a stress ball across the desk at him. "Thought I was going to yell, didn't you."

"You don't yell. You just speak with great enthusiasm from time to time."

At that she laughed so hard she snorted. "I'll have to remember that next time Kira starts whining about something."

"Speaking of the Yamatos, how are they?" Athrun knew the answer without having to ask, but he had little else to talk about at the moment. He had a phone call from Lacus just before they left, in fact.

"Still not back from that honeymoon. Jealous?"

"Insanely, but not of Kira. How long do I have to work here before I get a vacation?"

"One year and then you can take a week."

"That long, huh?" Athrun slumped in the chair across the desk from Cagalli.

"Well, maybe I can pull some strings. Of course, you'll have to take some work with you."

"What? Alone? What kind of vacation is that?" He leaned forward to put his head on her desk. He hadn't been getting a lot of sleep lately, and hence the joke about sleeping in his office.

Cagalli reached out to scruff up his hair. "No, not alone."

"Hey! I haven't heard from you in a couple of weeks so I thought I'd drop by." Meyrin was chipper as always. She had completely moved out by now, though she still kept the key.

"Thanks," Athrun yawned. "I am so freaking tired it's not funny."

"I'll bet. Think things will settle down soon?" Meyrin led him to the table where she had a meal prepared.

"I hope so. A guys' got to sleep sometime, you know?" He was actually putting the finishing touches on a few items. In a week or so things really would settle down.

"Well, have some food while you're still conscious."

"It's still hot?" Athrun was a little surprised as it was 9 o'clock. Maybe 10. He didn't bother looking at the clock.

"She's working you hard, huh?"

"Yeah, but it's alright. I enjoy the work and she needs someone to help her out."

"Is that all there is to it?" Meyrin wore a knowing smile.

"As if you didn't already know."

"That stupid grin gives you away," she laughed. "But you seriously need a break, Athrun. If you keep going like this you're going to collapse."

Saturday, 10:00 am.

Athrun took Meyrin's advice, though Cagalli had been equally insistent. He would spend the weekend doing absolutely nothing. Well, he'd likely see Cagalli tonight but not for work. They wouldn't even be pretending that their rendezvous would be work related. He wanted to finally take her to that nice little restaurant.

But first, he had one errand to run. A gift. Meyrin had given him some ideas a few days ago but now he was on his own.

He wandered through a mall he had often visited before. He came with Lacus for years, and with Meyrin several times over the past two. And he was quite accustomed to finding gifts for the women in his life.

Of course, he still felt as if he was quite bad at it. But then, most guys do choke when trying to find the perfect gift for the perfect girl. There was at least one nugget of wisdom he remembered from his parents. Never buy things like lawnmowers or trash cans for a girl. Ever.

Now, that's pretty funny advice. What made it even more hilarious was that his dad was actually speaking from experience. Their first wedding anniversary was more than a little rocky, from what Athrun had been told. Unfortunately, this advice didn't help Athrun narrow things down a whole lot.

One rule he had was never buy clothes for a girl. That helped a little.

Jewelry seemed like the safest bet. A nice emerald necklace. That looked like it would do.

"Imagine running into you here," a voice whispered from behind.

Athrun turned to face the speaker. It took a moment for him to recognize her. The change of hair color made it a little difficult. "Meer?"

She nodded with a smile, glad to at least be remembered. Even though she now had blue hair.

"Oh my God! Meer, how have you been?" Athrun gave her a warm hug.

"Not too bad. It's good to see you again, Athrun."

"Hey, let's grab lunch." Athrun motioned toward the food court.

"Sure," she didn't need to be asked twice.

"Everything going alright?"

"Yes, and I assume it is with you as well. Who's the necklace for?"

"A girl I've been seeing." As they sat down to share a modest meal, he asked a question that had been on his mind every time he thought of her. "You seeing anyone?"

"No," she admitted. "No luck yet."

"Don't lose hope. My mother used to say that there's someone for everyone."

"I never met your parents. Do they live around here?"

"That reminds me of something I forgot to do. Care to go for a short ride? I'll show you." It was a short ride in the rain. The weather had settled into a light drizzle by the time they arrived at a florist.

Meer was understandably confused. "You buy flowers when you go see your parents?"

"Something like that."

The rain had completely let up when they reached their destination.

"I know I'm a few days late, but . . ." he apologized to the four foot tall monument. It was black marble. His mother used to say that the Zala men always look best in black. Using his sleeve he cleaned the fresh mud off of their markers. A warm hand on his shoulder reminded him that he wasn't alone.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't know."

"It's alright. They've been gone a long time now. I remember each day like it was yesterday. Mother was killed by a drunk driver. Father died of cancer a few years later. They held a military funeral for him complete with the uniforms and a bugle. I still remember the snap of the rifles. Lacus was at my side, right over there," Athrun pointed to a spot a couple meters away. "She was always around when I needed her back then. My how things change."

"Athrun, I have a confession to make. I still care about you a lot." She hugged him tightly, "A lot."

"Thanks, but you know how I feel." He placed a hand on the back of her neck as if to say 'It's alright, go ahead an cry on my chest.'

And cry she did. "Then let's just leave it as friends."

Maybe that's where it should have stayed, Athrun thought. Lacus and I might have been a lot better off. But then we would have missed out on so much. "Do you regret it? What we had?"

"Not for a minute," Meer smiled. "I'd do it again in a heartbeat."

"There was a song I used to sing for Lacus. She loved it. About old friends and lovers. You know, our memories are what make us who we are. And if we don't remember those we've loved along the way, all our memories lose their meaning."

She nodded in understanding. "Then I'll always treasure our brief time together."

"So will I." Athrun had a similar conversation with Lacus several months back. He was glad they could manage to be friends again. Maybe it would be the same with Meer as well.

"I should get going. Good luck tonight," Meer parted by giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks. Take care."

"You're late. That's not like you."

Athrun escorted Cagalli to the car, being gallant enough to let her take up all of his umbrella. It had started raining again just before his arrival. "I'm not late, I'm just not as early as usual."

"That makes little difference." She tried to sound harsh, but with only marginal success. "So what's this place you're so eager to take me to?"

"It's special. You'll like it, I'm sure. Fancy, but cozy."

"Cozy sounds good." Cagalli took charge of playing with the radio. "Hey, I like this song."

Athrun smiled. It was once their song, him and Lacus. "You know this song?"

Cagalli nodded. "Lacus introduced me to it a long time ago. She loves it, though she used to cry every time she heard it."

Athrun wondered if he should tell her why.

"You want me to change it?" It seemed Cagalli already knew.

"No, it's fine. I like the song as well."

There are places I remember all my life, though some have changed.
Some forever, not for better. Some have gone and some remain.
All these places have their moments, with lovers and friends I still can recall.
Some are dead and some are living. In my life, I've loved them all.

But of all these friends and lovers there is no one compares with you.
And these memories lose their meaning when I think of love as something new.
Though I know I'll never lose affection for people and things that went before.
I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more. (2)

"Here we are," Athrun announced.

In my life, I love you more . . .

2. "In My Life," Lennon/McCartney. Rubber Soul, 1966.