I Will

This year it just happened to fall on a Friday. It was the day they had first started dating. And the day they were married four years later.

It's a little odd to have a wedding on a Friday. Most couples go for Saturday. A few for Sunday. But perhaps there had just been something special about that Friday.

Friday, November 9th.

It rained. It had rained last year and the year before that. It probably rained the year he had completely forgotten, too.

Athrun couldn't remember a time when he came here and there wasn't some rain.

It had rained when his mother was buried. And his father.

For both occasions, Athrun couldn't hold on to an umbrella. He just let the rain wash over him and mix with his tears before settling on the freshly dug graves. At his father's funeral he had refused to stay under Lacus's umbrella. He had said something like, Let the heavens weep with me and our tears will fall down together.

He didn't cry anymore. He hadn't in a long time.

But the heavens, they still wept.

His mother . . . no one ever had an unkind word to say about Lenore.

His father . . . Patrick commanded the respect of all who knew him.

And Athrun preferred to be alone with them, though he had no objection to others tagging along. Last year it was Meer. The year before it was Meyrin.

This year, someone beat him there.

Flowers just like the ones he had always bought were already placed between his parents markers. And someone had taken the liberty of wiping the fresh mud off as well.

"I hope you don't mind," a voice called from behind.

"Hello, Meer. It's been a while." Athrun placed his flowers by hers before turning to greet his former lover. "How are you?"

"I'm good. You?" Her hair was another color yet again.

He had seen her in pink, blue, black, red, brown, brown with blond highlights and finally blond. "Lavender. I like it."

"Thanks," she beamed. "I thought I'd give it a try."

"But you know . . . I think I'll always like pink the best."

Her smile faded a bit. "I'll remember that."

Athrun shook his head. "Do what you want. I'm just happy to know that you're alright."

"You're still a worry wart," she chided him.

"Perhaps so."

"You seem tired." You haven't smiled once. Is there something wrong with me? Something you don't like? Of course there is. That's why you dumped me.

"I'm very tired."

"Want to grab some coffee?"

He sighed, "Why not?" Athrun stuffed his hands into his overcoat pockets before bowing out his left elbow.

Meer looped right arm through the offered space and hugged tightly as they walked to his car.

This had been building for a long time.

"I want you to cut the crap. Tell me what's really going on in your life." Athrun wasn't harsh. And he kept her locked in his gaze, paralyzed.

She was unable to either move or look away. "I'm completely miserable. Is that what you want to know?"

"I wish it were otherwise."

"It was once. Briefly." She didn't have to hint that hard, but at least she was being honest.

"Meer, I . . ."

"I don't want your pity," she hissed. But then, why am I here? Why do I keep coming around?

"I never pitied you. You're quite capable of making it on your own." He reached out across the table to take her hand. "But I'd like to help if I can."

"Not unless you've got a clone out there," she squeezed his hand tightly. "I'll settle for a little brother."

Athrun couldn't help but laugh. He tried to stifle it, but with moderate success. "I do know this guy . . ."

Meer cut him off, "I don't like blind dates."

"Do you trust me?"

"Implicitly, though I probably should hate your guts."

"Okay. I'm not quite sure how to take that."

Meer brought her other hand up to reinforce the first. Her knuckles were white trying to hold onto Athrun's outstretched hand. It was as if she was falling off of a cliff and only Athrun could save her.

"Like I said, I know this guy. He's quiet but not too shy, and he's got a good head on his shoulders. Quite successful. He's my partner in a little business venture I've been working on. You don't have to think of it as a blind date. Think of it as . . ." Athrun searched for a moment, trying to find the best combination of words to describe it. "Think of it as a social event where you two will arrive and hopefully leave at the same time."

"Social event?"

"There's a Christmas party coming up in about a month. Formal. Black tie sort of thing."

Meer thought about this for a moment. "A quiet guy? I don't know . . ."

"It's perfect. You could be just the person to help him out of his shell. Think of it as a chance for you to help me out instead of the other way around." Athrun's fingertips were turning purple by now. "Just take it easy with him and have fun."

"Is he a good friend?"

"We've never been close but our parents were, so I know him fairly well. He's a good guy."

Meer bit her lip, "Think he'll like me?"

"Just be yourself. You're a knockout so don't worry about it."

"Okay," Meer eased up a bit on her grip. "I'll trust you."

"Oh, hi Cagalli." Meyrin stepped out of the way and motioned her in. "Athrun's not back yet. Want me to make some coffee? Or are you in the mood for something a little more stiff?"

"Hmm," she had to think for a moment. "Maybe some coffee spiked with the hardest stuff in the house."

"You got it." Meyrin had dropped all pretense of being angry by now.

The preparations didn't take Meyrin long and she decided to partake as well.

"Hey, this is good." Cagalli took the longest sip she could stand.

"Hard day?"

"Hard life."Cagalli slumped back in her chair. It was a nice plush one in a drawing room next to the living room.

"I see. I'm sure Athrun will be back soon. You know where he's gone to, right?"

"Yeah. I know he likes to go alone, so I didn't want to interfere." Cagalli drained her cup despite the near-blistering temperature of the fragrant brown liquid. "Tell me. Have you ever been?"

"Two years ago. I was afraid to let him out of my sight back then. I knew he didn't really want me there so I stayed in the car."

"Can I ask a personal question?"

"As long as you know what's out of bounds," Meyrin's eyes narrowed.

"I don't think this is. It's certainly not about . . . well, let's not bring that up." Cagalli took a deep breath before asking, "Did you ever have feelings for him? Athrun, I mean."

"Romantically? No," she shook her head. "I love him dearly but not like that. Though there was this one time . . ."

Cagalli was on the edge of her seat with anticipation. She wasn't jealous or angry. At least, not yet. No, she was intensely curious now that Meyrin was finally about to open up to her. "Please go on."

"After Lacus, he started drinking. When I first moved in we would often go drinking together. He drank rather heavily back then. Still does from time to time. Anyway, I got him home and we drank some more. I managed to get him to his bed before he passed out."

"And then what?"

"I was so drunk and he looked so irresistible just lying there that I couldn't help it. I kissed him." Meyrin decided to see how far she could take this, "I mean I REALLY kissed him."

Curiosity was still the overriding emotion in Cagalli. "And?"

"That was it. I felt guilty so I told him about it in the morning. He said something like 'It's not a problem.' You know how he is, though. He was pissed. He didn't speak to me for a week. I thought I was going to die." Meyrin refilled both coffee cups. "And that's all there is to it. We never talked about it again."

"Would you have ever gone out with him?"

"Maybe when we first met," Meyrin admitted. "But not after we really got to know each other. I'd be too afraid that it would fail like his relationship with Lacus did. And I couldn't bear to go through that. We both needed friendship. Romance would have risked it all. We didn't think it was worth it, I guess."

"He's really important to you," Cagalli observed.

"He's everything to me. I've dated and fallen in love before, but I don't care about anyone the way I do about Athrun."Meyrin paused for a moment, feeling as if she was leaving something out. "Well, except maybe Luna. But she's a pain sometimes."

"He's very special to us in different ways," Cagalli murmured.

"Yes. He is."

Who knows how long I've loved you, you know I love you still.
Will I wait a lonely lifetime? If you want me to, I will . . .