CHAPTER FIVE: MONKEY GODS
Disclaimer: I am not the leader of The Monkey Gods cult, nor do I own the Monkey gods
BACK IN THE MOVIE:
King Arthur: We were to meet the rest of my knights here, but I can't seem to find them...
Tre: The ones behind you?
King Arthur: Behind me? That is absurd! I'm the KING and I have a keen sence on telling if my own knights are behind me!
Jimmy: LOOK A SWALLOW! BEHIND YOU!
King Arthur: WHERE? -quickly turns around to see Sir. Bedevere, Sir Lancelot, Sir Gallahad,
and Sir Robin standing there-
Knights: HELLO!
King Arthur: -turns back around to face Jimmy and Tre- I knew that...
Tre: SURE ya did...
BACK IN MAGICAL MARCO'S SHOP
Magical Marco: Matthew, would you like some pop corn?
Matt: ...
Magical Marko: Were you dropped on your head as a child?
Matt:...
Magical Marko: -looks at screen to see that he had missed a bit of the movie- Oh Matt this is my favorite part! God comes down, you see, to Tell King Arthur his mission, and...
Matt: Yes I would like some popcorn please.
Magical Marko: ... Idiot...
BACK IN THE MOVIE
All: -on their invisible steeds-
Patsy the Squire: -clop clop clop clop-
-angels singing, the heavens part open to show a cheesy god puppet-
All: -Stop-
Patsy: -clop clop clop-
King Arthur: STOP IT STOP IT!
Patsy the Squire: -does one more clop and stops-
God: ARTHUR, KING OF THE BRITAINS!
Tre: Hey! That's him! OH OH THAT'S HIM! -hopping up and down pointing to King Arthur-
King Arthur: -steps to the front of group- I AM ARTHUR, KIND OF THE BRITAINS!
God: I think we settled that.. Now, as I was saying...
Jimmy: -raises hand- Dude, I have a question...
God: Um, yes, fine, you, the tall one, what is you question?
Jimmy: Who are you?
God: I am...
Jimmy: WAIT! I wasn't finished! Ok, AND how long did it take you to grow a bead that big cuz Tre and I are tying to but it's not working out...
God:..
Jimmy: I'm done.
God: I'm god, a long time, and that's not a question.
Jimmy: Oh, fine then, whatever.
Tre: We don't believe in you, Mr. God... you're a fragment of my lactation...
God: What? Excuse me?
Jimmy: We are believers of the Monkey Gods. They're real... your not!
God: MONKEY GODS?
Tre: -squats down and begins swinging on his fists- OH MONKEY GODS! OHHEEE -making monkey noises-
Jimmy: -doing the same as Tre-
God: -looks at King Arthur- I don't have to put up with this! I'M GOD! FIND THE FRIGGIN HOLY GAIL FOR ME! AND BE THANKFUL I DIDN'T SMITE YOU!
-heavens close and thunder rumbles-
Bedevere: -holds up part of his helmet- Monkey Gods?
Lancelot: What strange people...
Galahad: Hey that's my line!
Lancelot: No, I said PEOPLE! You say PERSON! Different.
Gallahad: Oh ok.
King Arthur: - in shock- Er... onward?
Galahad: GOD BE PRAISED! LET'S GET ON WITH THIS TRIP!
Patsy: -clop clop clop clop-