Chapter 6
"Here you go," Ray said walking into Emily's room. With an outstretched hand he handed her two Advils and a glass of water. She gingerly took them, and he helped her tip the glass while she drank the water. "That should help with your headache," he said.
As she settled back against her pillows, he laid his forearm across her cheek. "Your fever's gone down," he told her. "Can I get you anything else?"
Emily shook her head, "Thanks," she whispered, "I just want to sleep."
"Okay babe," he whispered as he knelt down to kiss her forehead, "G'night."
Walking out of her room, he pulled her door closed behind him. It was Emily's second day home since her visit to the ER. Ray had taken some vacation time so he could stay at home with her. It was easy enough—she mostly just stayed in bed and slept all day.
Late afternoon and I've got the place to myself, Ray thought with a smirk. He glanced around the living room. Not a whole hell of a lot to do here, though. He hadn't picked up his guitar in what felt like an eternity—he couldn't rock out with Emily trying to sleep.
As he settled down onto the couch, Ray thought about his current living situation. He'd dated off and on since Emily had come to live with him, but between work and trying to be home as much as possible for her, he'd never really gotten into anything serious. He'd been a little bit afraid of what kind of problems that might lead to. Suppose he did get really involved with someone? Would they move in together? What about Emily? He was pretty sure that could be a little uncomfortable for her. It's one thing, he figured, for a divorced parent to move in with another person, even though that's weird enough as it is. But for an older sibling to do that, when you're living alone with them, that's got to be…awkward. That had pretty much been his party line for the past two years. As time went on, however, he was beginning to wonder if it was more of an excuse. After all, it's part of life isn't it? And Emily has joked—ok, taunted—about me not having a girlfriend. Could that be her way of saying that she'd be okay with me being with someone?
On that thought, Ray thought about something else. Am I into anyone? His first thought was Neela. Lately there had been some kind of spark between them—a look, or a shared smile. I'm probably just imagining it, he said to himself. I mean, come on. That's ridiculous! There's no way I'm her type, and she can sometimes be so…Ray was surprised when he couldn't think of a word to dissuade himself from liking her. Perfect, he finished lamely, she can be so perfect. At that moment, another voice inside him rose. Perfect? As in what? As in looks? As in intelligence? As in the whole package?
Perfect as in everything, Ray decided. There's no way I'm good enough for her. She deserves so much better. Someone who can devote every breath to her, and right now, that's just not me. Face it, dude, you've got a sister to support, and for now, it's best that you just concentrate on her.
Ending on that note, Ray stood up. Gazing out the window, he watched the setting sun. Without realizing what he was doing, he brought his fingers up to the corner of his eye and brushed away the bead of moisture that had gathered there.