Chapter 7 for y'all. Thank you for the reviews. I want to hear how people think this is going to end.

I also apologise for the lack of Wash - Zoe'ness, they kind of got written out for much of it but they will return.

This is a Simon - Kaylee chapter. No Rayne in this one. This should answer some Simon questions.

Chapter 7: Girls, Guns and Gentle Doctors

Kaylee is busy tinkering. They're only a day out of Tanulia. If she keeps herself busy she won't have to think about him leaving.

"Luh suh" she hisses as he pulls her hand back from the engine. Blood trickles from a deep cut on her thumb.

She sucks on it thoughtfully as she picks her way across the engine room. She is dismantling and rebuilding every one of Mal's botch job repairs. It keeps her busy, making Serenity well again.

She walks to the infirmary, hoping to just find something to stop the bleeding without ever setting eyes on Doctor Tam. She glances through the door and thinks she's got away with it, but once she steps inside she realises she hasn't.

Simon is sat against the wall right next to the door. That's why she hadn't seen him. His knees are drawn up to his chest and his arms are resting on them. Two of his fingers are taped together. His hair is an absolute mess. Why the hell is Simon sitting on the floor? She's never seen him like this, this wrecked by his own volition.

He looks up and his eyes are red-rimmed.

Kaylee's hand drops away from her mouth. She wants to be mean, she really does. Wants to be able to walk out. Leave him like he's leaving her. But she can't. She crouches down next to him.

"Simon?"

He wipes his eyes with his hand and shakes his head. "Nothing."

"Ain't looking like nothing."

He stands up suddenly, trying to tidy the already creased shirt and vest he's wearing. Trying to make himself look presentable.

Kaylee circles him and pushes him forcibly out of the infirmary door until he's sitting on the sofa outside. "Don't need to be proper all the time."

"It don't mean nothing out here in the Black."

"It means more out here."

Simon flops his head back. "Maybe that's all I've got left."

"What? Because of Jayne and River being…"

"They're staying. Whether I do or not. River doesn't need me anymore. I fixed her. She's free now. I don't know what I'm going to do…"

Kaylee rubs his hand awkwardly. She curls her legs up underneath her and sits a little closer to him.

"Then stay," she can't quite believe she's saying this out loud. "Stay for me."

His eyes flick towards her without his head moving. "You barely know me anymore. You don't know what I've done."

"Don't care. Inside you're still Simon Tam aren't you?"

Simon opened the door fully expecting it to be River returning with Jayne and Book. He was normally so careful, but just once or twice he'd slip. Dr Ryan Scott wasn't afraid of anything. He wasn't paranoid and jumping at shadows. He didn't have a past to chase him. Simon sometimes lived this fantasy so completely that he forgot that Dr Simon Tam did have those things. Like today. He flung open the door to see two non-descript men wearing black suits and blue latex gloves.

"Doctor Tam," one said pleasantly, "may I come in?"

Simon froze for a split second, long enough for the men to be in the house. His house, their home.

"No," he finally said as the door shut.

The man doing the talking fixed him with a steady look. Simon felt his guts turn to ice, and his mouth went dry. His tongue felt stuck to the roof of his mouth.

"Behave Doctor Tam and this will be so much easier. Now where is your sister?"

Simon took three steps backwards and banged into the small table that stood in the hallway. He puts his hands back to steady himself. Its drawer rattles as though something heavy and metal was in there. Thank God for Jayne. "I won't tell you."

The man blinked slowly. "May I remind you that we don't need you alive. Now where is River?"

"I don't know," Simon felt sweat start to drip down his forehead. He remembered the screaming on Ariel from those Feds. He hated the way this man said River's name, it sent a shiver down his spine. Don't come home River, please don't come home.

"If you're lying to me…" the man left the threat unsaid.

Simon's fingers scrabbled at the drawer, using his surgeon's skills to open it silently behind his back. He lifts the pistol, keeping it out of sight. Cocked it silently.

The man continued. "You cause problems, and we do not like problems Doctor Tam. But maybe your sister will be more docile if you are still alive. We can't have her hurting herself before our work is done now can we?"

Simon breathed in for the count of three, calculated his angle and swung his arm round and fired the pistol. Jayne always keep them loaded. Book had tried emptying them all, but Jayne just got more inventive at hiding them.

It seemed like slow motion as the pistol kicked twice in his hand, and the talking man's throat just…wasn't. The silent man had just a tiny bullet hole in his forehead.

He'd never killed anyone before. Not intentionally. Didn't realise quite how much mess it made, how much blood was now soaking into the carpet. Hadn't realised that the blood could reach him, splatter him. He's seen blood before. It's never bothered him, but now…

Jayne walked in the door minutes later, River at his heels and Book behind her. She took one look at the dead men's hands and her eyes went huge. Book swears.

"Two by two, hands of blue, two by two, hands of blue…" she says, her voice cracking.

Simon was standing over the bodies, gun arm still outstretched, pistol muzzle unwavering, spattered head to toe with blood. Not moving.

River was sobbing, her breath coming in ragged fast gasps. Jayne takes her arms and starts pushing her to the door. She quiets instantly at his touch. "Dead River. Can't hurt you. Not his blood."

She nods. "Not his blood." She looks at the man with the bullet hole in his head. "Perforated the cerebral cortex. Dead instantly." She turns her head to look at the other man. "He wasn't. Severed the spinal column, couldn't move, couldn't escape. Bullet in a box. Box of voices. Couldn't speak, couldn't cry out for mercy. Wouldn't have got any anyway."

Jayne feels an unwanted shiver go down his back and pushes her roughly at Book. "Preacher…"

Book just nods and gets River out of the door.

Simon still hasn't moved. Jayne grabs the gun out of his hand.

"Doc? Doc!"

Simon turned his head. His eyes were harder than Jayne had ever seen.

"They were going to take River. Couldn't let them." He sounds a bit dazed.

"I know," Jayne swallows. "Bit extreme though gunning 'em down in our front hall. Could cause all kinds of trouble."

"They deserved it," Simon spits bitterly, and then actually laughs, a chilling sound. His voice becomes hard. "I'm done with this." He turns away. "We'll need body bags…"

Jayne tucks the gun into his waistband, "I'll take care of it."

"If it helps there's a candle burning for you in the Companion Guild house on Persephone." Kaylee's lower lip wobbles. "Real pretty funeral too."

Simon rolls his head to the side to look at her. He can't resist a slight smile. "Did you cry?"

"Would it make a difference if I had?" There is a hint of flirtation in her voice.

Simon turns his body to face her, leaning his elbow on the sofa back, head against his hand. "Of course it would. I'd want to know my funeral was pretty enough to make you cry."

Kaylee's teeth nibble her lower lip, her eyes wide. Simon can't help himself; he leans forward and kisses her deeply. He closes his eyes and savours her lips. She tastes of strawberries, just like he imagined. He tangles his fingers in her hair, rests his forehead against hers for a moment before pulling back.

"Why couldn't you do that six and a bit years ago?" were the first words from her mouth.

Simon just blushes instead of answering. He lets his eyes trace every curve of her chin, the way her hair brushes against it, her eyes…and wonders if it's enough.

"Stay," Kaylee's voice is soft, little more than a whisper. "Stay on Serenity Simon. Please."

He fixes his eyes to a point just left of her ear. Can't meet her eyes. "I don't know."

Kaylee sighs lightly, barely perceptible. "You know how I feel Simon. You know what I want." She pulls away and stands, dropping a light kiss on his forehead. "I can't decide for you."

Simon stares after her and feels cold inside.