Well thank you for all the kind reviews for the whole story. Its been an absolute pleasure to write and I just hope you welcome my next story with such passion and willingness to read.

Here's the last chapters so I'd take it as a kindness if you would read and review.

There's a bit of fighting, guns, love, kissing, eating, and even nakedness in one chapter(I'm not telling you who! Read it!)

Chapter 10: Fantasies Leave Me Alone

Inara sat primly on his bed, which made Simon more than a mite uncomfortable. A Companion sitting on his bed. The only times he'd thought of a Companion on his bed the circumstances would have been a lot different. It was some adolescent fantasy come real, almost. He blinks at the sudden mental picture of kissing Inara; fulfil one fantasy of his teenage years. He shakes it away. Adolescent fantasy. Memory trigger. Nothing else. He's being a stupid boy. Its stress, that's it. Stress of being kidnapped…again. He focuses very hard on folding the shirt in his hand. If his parents had ever caught him with a Companion they would probably have disowned him. He stuffs the shirt into an already overfull bag. It's Inara…sitting on his bed. A Companion in his bedroom. His ears start to go pink. He wiggles his shoulders trying to work out the knot of tension that has settled there.

"No offence, but were you really necessary?"

"Would you rather Jayne or Mal stayed?"

Simon merely grunts and goes back to abusing the bag. He tugs in vain at the zipper and mutters to himself. "Gorram bag. Hate packing…"

Inara watches him silently and wishes she could tell him anything to make this alright. She can't tell him just to stay on Serenity. He needs to decide on his own.

"Stay? Go? Can't go home…can I? She's gone. I'm sick of running." He pounds the bag in time with his words. "Sick…of…running."

Inara knows how Simon used to be. He wouldn't run away from a problem, but now? What has happened to their good doctor? Gentle Simon. How can he have grown so cold that he can leave Kaylee without a word? Could he bu ci er bie? Could he really do that? Inara catches his eye briefly and his gaze is cold. Simon had always been easy for her to read – scared, afraid, worried for River, pain, loyalty, his love for Kaylee, she'd seen them all – but now his eyes didn't tell her anything. It was like a mask had dropped in front of him, cutting him off. She's seen men like this before. It happened to Mal. Something terrible has happened to him.

Simon turns out a drawer onto the bed next to her, without really looking at the contents. In amongst the odds and ends, there are two objects that catch her eye. A drawing and a gun. The drawing is a pencil sketch of Kaylee, obviously by River and drawn from memory. She's smiling. Everything is perfect, right down to the grease smudge on her nose, the hair curling around her ears, the tiny flecks of light playing in her eyes. The drawing is grubby; there are creases in the paper, like it's been held for too long, half screwed up in anguish, fingerprints round the edges. It must be torture to look at, the eyes of a girl you cared for, who died.

Inara swallows. She lays it down reverently and turns her attentions to the gun. It's a pistol. Looks like one of Jayne's. The handle is black. She rests a hand on it. Why does Simon have a gun in his room? It's loaded. Why does Simon carry a gun? She knows why he needs to, but why does he want to? He had pointed it at Mal easily enough, pointed it at all of them. He's a doctor. He shouldn't want to kill people. Simon, out of all of them, was most like her, they didn't carry guns. Suddenly a hand slams on top of hers. She jumps and looks up. Simon is scowling at her. He grips roughly at her hand and the gun. Inara pulls her hand out from under his, trying to retain her dignity.

"What happened to you?" she finally says. This isn't the Simon she remembers.

He looks at her steadily, his fingers curled around the handle of the gun hanging loosely at his side. "I killed someone. Two people in fact. And I'd do it again." He doesn't know why he feels the need to tell her the truth.

Inara's eyes widen. Oh Simon. Simon killed someone. That was something Inara had never believed she would have to face.

"Go home Inara. Run back to Serenity," his voice is hard, but his eyes flicker and for an instant she can read him. He's afraid. If he lashes out, people can't get close to him. And if they can't get close to him, they can't leave him. He snatches the paper from the bed, crumples it slightly in the process. "I said go away." His voice wavers like a small child's on the last word.

Inara stands and looks at him sadly. Maybe they can't help him anymore. She leans forward and kisses him very gently on the lips. "I'm so sorry Simon."

She leaves the room. Simon is left standing with the gun in one hand and the drawing in the other. Alone.

Translation Notes:

Bu ci er bie - leave without saying good-bye