Author:Teri AKA tessalynne
Rating:PG
Pairing:Cole/Phoebe
Universe:AU – Post Centennial Charmed
Disclaimer:I do not own Charmed or any of its characters. I am uncertain whether they are the property of WB Television or Spelling Television, but either way, no copyright infringement is intended. I have borrowed them strictly for entertainment purposes and shall return them unharmed.
Author's Note:I doubt that anyone who believes in love and wants to write fanfiction can resist the temptation of attempting to write a closure fic, this is my attempt.
Summary:When the beginning is an end and the end is a beginning.
ONE
The flames erupted to engulf him, his screams rivaling the cry of a banshee, and her heart was consumed with his body.
"Cole", Phoebe gasped as she sprang up in her bed. The darkness of her room and the rapidly fading memory of her dream only added to her sense of disquiet as she pushed the sweat soaked hair off her brow. The dream had not haunted her sleep since the first week following their vanquish of Cole, but apparently it was back now. Phoebe could only suppose that regret and damnable hindsight were responsible for its return. In any event, she knew from experience that she wouldn't be sleeping any more tonight. A rueful glance at her clock confirmed her fears, four A.M. Oh well, there'll be plenty of hot water.
Rising with a sigh, she silently padded to her bureau to retrieve clean clothes and head for the shower. As she rummaged through her underclothes, her hand struck the solid edge of a picture frame. She didn't pull it from the drawer, she didn't need to; she knew it to be a picture of her and Cole. Her emotions began to twist; disquiet shifted to an uneasy feeling that she wasn't alone, which, in turn, shifted to anger with herself for such wild imaginings and for having forgotten the picture was there. "Can't you even leave me alone in death?" she hissed into the darkness. " I know we were wrong to vanquish you. But, Damn it Cole! You didn't exactly leave us much choice." And with that she stormed from her room. She never saw the clothes in the drawer part on an invisible breeze to reveal the photo of the smiling couple.
Happy chatter and the smell of fresh brewed coffee greeted Phoebe as she descended the stairs two hours later. Ah, breakfast at the Halliwell's, Phoebe thought with a smile. "You'd better have saved me some coffee," she said wandering into the kitchen.
" Of course we saved you some," Paige chirped, while Piper quietly handed Phoebe the hot cup with an appraising glance.
" You're all up early today. What's up?" Phoebe questioned them, as she gratefully accepted the coffee.
" Well, some of us aren't on sabbatical, " Paige mumbled around a mouthful of muffin. " I have some work to finish up. All the recent excitement has put me behind. And speaking of work, I had better scoot."
" I want to get the bookkeeping done at P3 this morning, so I can do some shopping later. Would you like to come with, Phoebe?" Piper asked from over her shoulder.
"No, I don't think so," Phoebe said a bit hesitantly. " I kind of have some things to do today."
"Bye," Paige called out as she headed toward the door. The kitchen remained silent until they heard the front door click shut. Then Piper moved from the sink to sit down across from Phoebe and waited expectantly. Phoebe held her silence.
"Bad night?" Piper asked.
"Just a dream."
"The dreams are back? When did that start?"
"Piper, it was one dream and only last night. Will you please just relax?"
"I know how you've been feeling, I even understand to some extent, but…"
"Thank God you waited for Paige to leave to start this, I don't think I could take you both on this morning," Phoebe interrupted sharply.
"Honey, I'm not trying to pick on you. That is why I waited to talk to you until she was gone. I love Paige, but I know she isn't very understanding when it comes to the subject of Cole. But, you can't really blame her, she lacks most of the more positive experiences we had with him."
"I know, I know. I just don't think you understand either Piper. There should have been another way. I said I loved him, but I didn't do a very good job of showing it."
"Phoebe, dwelling on this isn't healthy! I know how much you loved Cole. I can even agree that I wish there had been a better way. But the man had lost his mind, if you could even call him a man at that point! You took the time off work to get over this, so please sweetie, try to stop beating yourself up over it. Why don't you come shopping with me today, just to get your mind off things?"
"Look, Piper, I promise you I am not dwelling, as you put it. As a matter of fact, the things I mentioned doing today will keep me more than busy."
"Oh?" She sounded doubtful.
"Yes. I'm actually going to work, even if it isn't at the office. The paper has been after me to try my hand at some articles for awhile. So I'm going to spend part of the day on the computer doing some research and I'll probably even meet with Darryl to get some insight into the criminal angle of the story. Then I think I'll spend some quality time with the Book of Shadows, I've been neglecting magic pretty badly lately."
"If you're sure…"
"Of course I'm sure, silly. Stop worrying Piper, I'm just tired today, not depressed. Now, you had better get started or the day will be over before either of us accomplishes anything." And with that, she gave Piper a playful shove toward the kitchen door and headed for the telephone.
She dialed the number and waited for an answer while Piper gathered her purse and keys. "Inspector Morris, please…Hi Darryl, its Phoebe. Are you free for lunch today? You are…Good, I'll see you then." Hanging up the phone, she waved as Piper left the house.
When she heard the car engine start, Phoebe turned to the stairs and headed for the attic with a grim determination. The memory of a photo of a smiling couple resting at the top of a drawer full of clothing dogged each step she took.
TWOPhoebe rubbed her eyes tiredly. Setting her notebook aside and closing the Book of Shadows, she glanced quickly to her watch. She would have to hurry if she was going to make her lunch meeting with Darryl. She grabbed her pages of hastily scrawled spells and hurried to her room. I hope I'm right about this, because if I'm not Piper and Paige might just kill me, that is if no one beats them to it.
"You want What!" Several heads spun their way at the sound of Darryl's raised voice. "Are you out of your mind Phoebe? People who handle things like that are dangerous. I know you've been upset, but diving into something that puts you in contact with this kind of lowlife isn't any way to cope."
"Darryl, keep your voice down, people are staring. I need this contact and I thought that you would be the best person to turn to. Now will you get me the information or not? If you won't help me, I'm sure I can find an investigative reporter on the crime beat who will."
Darryl sighed and stared at her in silence for a few moments. She looked nervous. "Phoebe, what is this really all about?" he asked with narrowing eyes.
"I would have thought that you knew enough about we Halliwells to avoid questions you might not want answered. Now, are you going to help me, or do I need to find someone else?"
He shook his head with a sigh. "Alright, I'll do it, but let's be clear on this, I'm doing it under protest. If this comes back to bite you, I don't want to hear about it. Call me about four o'clock, I should have everything you need by then."
Phoebe sprang to her feet and rounded the table to hug him. "Thank you so much," she whispered. Grabbing her purse, she turned to hurry away from the table.
"Hey," Darryl called out "what about the rest of lunch?"
"Oh, sorry, but I had better run. I have to go to the bank and I need to pick up some herbs in Chinatown before I get back to you at four."
Darryl couldn't shake the feeling that he had just made a deal with the devil as he watched Phoebe hurry away.
Several hours later Phoebe plopped down in her chair at the dinner table with a cheerful hello and a deceptively nonchalant expression on her face. "Is Leo coming home for dinner?" she asked the room at large.
"No," Piper replied " he has some new charges he has to look after tonight. Paige and I are going to hang out at the club tonight, would you like to come?"
"I don't think so, I had kind of a busy day, I think rest is what the doctor would order." Although her tone was casual, her heart was practically singing. Everyone was going to be out for the evening, things couldn't be more perfect. She would probably never be sure how she made it through dinner without arousing her sisters' suspicions, so she settled for the gratitude she felt when she was at last able to escape to her room to await their departure.
Phoebe left the house within minutes of the time her sisters did. And when she returned an hour and a half later she was both exhausted and satisfied. She would have everything she needed by the end of the week. Her bank savings had suffered tremendously, but she had expected no less. At least all those extra publicity appearances had been good for something. Her satisfaction quickly faded as her eyes were drawn toward the stairs. The easy part is over. With that thought echoing in each footstep, she gathered her resolve and climbed to the attic.
Phoebe surveyed her handiwork with a bit of trepidation. She had used both candles and crystals to form the circle, she hoped they would be enough. The danger of what she was attempting hadn't escaped her. She had enough experience at her craft to know that summoning an unknown quantity could be fatal. But sensibility and matters of her heart were usually mutually exclusive things for Phoebe. And stepping back from the circle, she quietly recited the slightly altered spell to summon her lost love to her.
The air within the circle swirled, clouded, then coalesced into the tall, dark form she knew so well. "Cole," she breathed softly.
"You rang madam," he inquired with a sardonic lift of his brow. "What's the matter Phoebe, killing me wasn't good enough, you felt the need to summon me for a bit of torture?" His bitter tone cut into her.
"M-m-me, torture you? I'm not the one hanging around here niggling at the edges of people's senses, uncovering pictures, causing nightmares…" Phoebe's rant ran out of air to fuel it.
"Don't blame me for your nightmares! Those are all your own doing, not mine! But," he continued more softly " I am sorry about the picture, I just wanted to look at it. As for hanging around here, I can't help it, I love you." Cole finished with a defeated slump of his shoulders.
" I didn't summon you here to argue with you Cole. If you'll just co-operate and answer some questions, I think I can help you. I want to help you."
He snorted. "Help me, help me what? Would you like to make sure you send me straight to hell this time? You can't help me Phoebe," he turned his back to her with his final words.
"Cole, please, I think maybe I can help," Phoebe pleaded softly "please let me try. I do love you and I am truly sorry we had to vanquish you, but you didn't give us much choice. There just wasn't any reasoning with you."
" I only wanted you to understand that I loved you and couldn't live without you," Cole protested petulantly.
"Honey, trying to mummify me and wiping out my sister's existence is not love, that's obsession. But," she continued gently " giving up everything to be with me, putting yourself in danger to protect me and my sisters repeatedly, that is love. Please Cole, I'm running out of time."
He turned back to face her with a long-suffering sigh, simply unable to resist her pleas. "What is it you want to know?"
"I won't ask about your sanity, it seems to have returned."
"Trust me, it's painfully intact."
"Where, exactly, are you?"
"I'm in limbo Phoebe."
"Limbo…"
"Yeah, you know; limbo, between life and death, between heaven and…"
"Cole, I know what limbo is. How? I mean, why not the wasteland?"
"The powers that be are understandably hesitant to send one someplace they have already escaped from. As for the rest, it seems I haven't earned a place in heaven, but as my humanity is not technically responsible for demonic actions, I haven't exactly earned a place in hell either. So, here I am."
" So, you have no powers?"
'The dead, or even the mostly dead, don't have much use for demonic powers Phoebe."
"Then I can do this, I know I can do this. I can bring you back Cole."
"Why, Phoebe? What's the point? We won't be together, will we?"
Phoebe was silent for a moment. "No Cole, I can't give us a second chance. Please, just listen," she begged when she saw the mutinous look cross his face. "It's not that I don't love you and it's not that I don't trust you. The biggest part of our troubles began when we stripped you of Belthazar. Being fully human leaves you vulnerable to being filled with evil, like with the hollow and the source. And I can only resurrect the human that remains Cole. But even if there were a way to return Belthazar to you, it still wouldn't work. Then you would be vulnerable to every demon looking to make a name for himself. So no, I can't give us a second chance, because magic will always be a part of the Charmed Ones. But I can give you a second chance, a second chance at life, a chance you deserve."
They just stood looking at one another when Phoebe had finished speaking. Neither seemed certain what was left to be said.
"Cole, I have to let you go now," Phoebe said softly. "Please, think about it. Everything will be ready by the end of the week. I really do want you to have the chance you deserve. If you are willing to take it, I think you know how to signal me." And with that she quietly murmured the spell that returned him to the mists.
THREEThe next few days were as close to hell as Phoebe ever wanted to come. She hadn't had any sign from Cole and she had begun to develop a real paranoia about her actions being discovered. Thankfully, her family seemed to be busy enough to disregard her jumpiness.
When Thursday brought the phone call that she had been waiting for, Phoebe nearly collapsed with relief. As she got ready for bed, she thought about her decision not to summon Cole again. She had said all she could say; it was his choice now. But, knowing that he would hear her, she spoke quietly into the darkness of her room. "Cole, everything is ready for tomorrow. You have to decide love." And then she drifted off to sleep.
Phoebe swatted in the direction of her annoyingly buzzing alarm clock. "Alright already, I'm awake," she mumbled as she finally managed to find the switch and turn it off. She sat up, swinging her legs over the side of the bed with a yawn. Suddenly she remembered and was instantly alert. Her eyes darted nervously to the bureau, unaware that she was actually holding her breath. The site that greeted her threatened to overwhelm her, there, shining in the morning sun sat the smiling photo of her and Cole.
"Got your message baby," Phoebe whispered, wiping a tear from her eye. " I'll see you later if all goes well."
The day passed in a blur for Phoebe. She gathered the things she needed from her closet. She read and reread the spell she was going to use. She offered to go to the store for Piper so she could run her own errand without being questioned. And finally, she simply waited for evening, for everyone to go about his or her business so she could slip away unnoticed.
The cab dropped her at Golden Gate Park at dusk and she made her way to a remote clearing in the trees and waited for full darkness to descend. When the first stars began to twinkle overhead, she knew it was time. Please, please let this work.
She placed everything from her pack, except the manila envelope, in the center of the clearing. Clutching the envelope to her chest, she moved to the edge of the clearing and sat down in the damp grass. The spell was deceptively simple and she had long since committed it to memory, so she closed her eyes and solemnly intoned the words.
Unsure what she had expected, Phoebe noted abstractly that lightening didn't strike, there was no thunder, no raging wind, just the rustle of the trees and chirping crickets. She sat eyes glued shut in terror as the magnitude of what she was doing struck her. Oh please, oh please, oh please… Her numbed mind repeated the silent prayer. The slightly louder rustle didn't rouse her, but the large, warm hand on her elbow that urged her to stand did.
"Phoebe, come on honey, stand up. Phoebe are you all right?" It was Cole, Cole's voice, so soft and filled with concern that it gave her the courage to open her eyes. He was here, it had worked. Phoebe swayed weakly against his chest, as she stared at him, unaware that her eyes had filled with tears. Her hands began to unconsciously roam his chest and shoulders, as if to reassure herself that he was indeed real. "Shhh…" his lips comforted near her ear and they each turned into the kiss as though they had never been parted. Their lips seeking to bridge time and tragedy. When breathing became essential and their mouths parted, Phoebe stumbled back from him.
"Cole," she gasped "we can't, I told you…"
"I know Phoebe. I understood everything you said when you made this offer." The sadness in his eyes tore at her heart and Cole could read her pain as well as he could feel his own. "Don't feel bad. You were right about more things than I care to think about, Phoebe. I'm still not sure how I'll live without you, but I guess I owe it to both of us to try."
"You'll be okay Cole," Phoebe said tearfully. "Part of being human is learning to live with loss. It always hurts, but it does get better."
The envelope that had slipped to the ground unnoticed caught her eye and she bent down to retrieve it. She held it out to him with a sad smile. "Here."
"What's this?"
" It's your new identity. Birth certificate, social security card, license, diplomas, job references…Well, you get the picture. There's also some cash to get you started and an airline ticket. Layovers and potential transfers in four major cities. I can't know where you've gone Cole."
"Phoebe, you shouldn't…"
"Oh hush. I made a ton of money off all the extra work Elise had me doing while I was trying to pretend I didn't love you. It might as well serve some good purpose."
"But where did you get all this stuff?"
"That? Well, I told Darryl that I was doing a piece for the paper on identity theft and on illegal immigration and insisted that he provide me with a contact that handled new identities. He was less than amused, but I figured it was better than the truth. Cole, you have to go now."
"I know." He slid the envelope inside his coat and stepped close to her; lightly brushing his lips across her forehead he whispered brokenly, "I will always love you."
"And I will always love you, nothing can ever change that," she whispered as he disappeared into the night.
The cab ride home was melancholy and Phoebe was grateful to find the manor dark and quiet as crept in the door and toward the stairs. She had just placed her hand on the banister when Piper stepped out of the shadows.
"Where is he Phoebe?" As Phoebe turned to the sound of her voice, she contemplated a thousand denials. But a single glance at Piper's face told her it would be pointless.
"I don't know where he is."
"You don't know!"
"No, I sent him away and I didn't want to know where he would go. Piper, I did the right thing. He won't be back, he understands now. Please trust me this once."
"Did you even think about what you may have brought back? Did personal gain ever cross your mind? And just how the hell did you manage to resurrect a dead man by yourself!"
"Piper, I know what I brought back. And if a little piece of mind is personal gain, then I'll live with the backfire. As to how, well let's say I cashed in on a technicality. He was in Limbo, not really alive, but not really dead, just lost. So all that tweaking on the finding a lost whatever spell finally paid off. I just rewrote it to find my lost innocent and it worked. That's how I can be so sure of what I brought back."
Piper could only stare and shake her head.
"Piper, how did you know?"
"Honey, you have been nervous and secretive all week," she reached to hug Phoebe "so when Darryl called me because he was worried about your little research project; I was suspicious. When I went to your room and found you gone and that picture on the bureau, I just knew."
"Phoebe, I don't think we'll tell Paige about this if we don't have to."
"Yeah, that would probably be best."
"You're just lucky Prue isn't here."
"Huh, what's Prue got to do with this."
"You've come full circle Phoebe. When we first discovered that Cole was Belthazar, you lied to us and didn't vanquish him. Do you remember how upset she was? Now you've lied to us to resurrect him."
"Hmmm, it probably is best that she isn't here. I did it the both times to protect him you know, to protect him from their magic and from ours. He's human now, but there will always be that tiny magical void inside him and as long as our lives are touched by magic, there will always be someone or something trying to exploit that. So, if I had to come full circle to get it right, well, I can live with that, and now, so can he."
The End