DISCLAIMER: I don't own squat. Especially The Godfather, who, if I keep writing like this, will make me an offer I can't refuse… scratches neck nervously…big gulp So, while I'm still alive, please enjoy the next chapter.

call 911

CHAPTER FIVE: The Hallway Breakup

"This is it?" Ron asked as the four children and towel stared at a brightly polished cherry wood door with a small golden plaque reading:

Don Draco Corleone
We'll make him a blunt he can't refuse

"Well, Kitty did say it'd be hard to miss." Harry pointed out. "Yeah, umm are you sure you wana go through with this…?" Hermione asked glancing at the walls. "He must be real tough if there's no graffiti within fifteen feet of his door frame." That was obviously a very interesting fact, considering this was the Hogwarts Mafia Don's office.

"Do you want the Blunt Man to get away with all this stealing?" Harry asked. "Yeah Hermy," Brandon continued. "Don't forget the ninth commandment:"

"Thou shalt not steal another's weed bag." Harry finished. Brandon eyed the boy who cut into his information services.

"Christ Hermione, we HAVE to get my weed back……….and the other peoples too." Harry yelled. Then he muttered under his breath, "Stupid bitch." Brandon couldn't believe this. Yeah Hermione could be a ditz sometimes, but this was just a little over board. Harry was treating her like shit….and Hermione was too damn hot to be treated like shit.

"You should be a bit nicer to your girlfriend Harry." Brandon Commented. "FUCK YOU BRANDON!" Harry yelled. "She's my ho, not yours." This time Hermione spoke up. "Hang one just one goddamn minute." She slammed Harry against the brick wall rattling the office door so much Ron thought the Don himself would come out with a .22 and well…. Not a pretty sight.

"I AM NO ONES FUCKIN' HO YOU COCK SUCKING SON OF A BITCH." She slammed the punk's head into the wall. Brandon tried not to laugh and thought "good for her." 'bout time she beat the shit out of him….again. Harry saw spots from that point on. Several more times he found his head being smashed into the wall. Until Brandon finally pried her away from him. (not until several minutes later though.) and calmed her down enough for Harry to cast a healing spell on himself before the concussion set in.

"I hope you realize, POTHEAD, that we are through!" She yelled, Brandon holding her back from inflicting more damage as she unleashed a new wave of fury on the Boy-Who-Called-Himself-A-Pimp. " Hold it bitch!" He yelled back. "You can't break up with me. You're MY girlfriend." "Not anymore dick head." She huffed. voices chanting Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, could presently be heard in the background."

The two argued back and forth for several more minutes before they finally calmed down enough to enter the office. Ron suggested they should knock…or better yet run away and never look back. But Harry was in his Pissed Off phase again, so Ron had no choice but to slowly drag himself through the doorway.

Inside was a lavishly decorated room. With several chairs and couches, all made of leather. There were a few trees, fake probably. And a window that took up one whole wall making the room an astrologists dream as it was a very starry night out tonight.

Smack dab in front of the window was a large cherry wood desk. A leather arm chair sat behind it, its back to the children. The room appeared empty of life until they heard a small jingling. And a male voice asked, "Why do you insist on bothering me at such an early hour."

The chair turned around and a young man, about 25 or so, with blonde slicked hair and cold gray eyes, stared at him. He held a mixed drink in his hands, which explained the jingling, from the ice. The man in all ways resembled a perfectly clichéd Mob Boss. "And," Hermione thought, "he's hot too and I'm now single."