As he heard himself speak it, it hurt him like a shot in the gut. The little girl smiled warmly at him.
"Liam, it is I." Kathy said confidently, in a soft sweet Irish accent. She could see that her brother was finding it difficult to speak.
"Liam, don't be scared. You always taught me that, if your not scared then nothing can hurt you. I wasn't scared of you when you came back from the dead, but it wasn't you, was it? But I wasn't scared even when I knew that, and it didn't hurt Liam, honest it didn't hurt a bit."
These words went through Angel like a knife. They brought back all the memories, what he had done to his little sister was something that constantly rested upon his conscience. In life, she was the only one who at the time, he felt cared for him.
"Kathy, it can't… But how...? Why are you here? God, no!" Angel said, close to weeping.
"Shhh, come with me, we have much to see." Kathy prompted. Angel stumbled out of bed and reached for his robe. He slipped his feet into his slippers. Kathy held her hand out towards him and he instinctively held onto it. A bright light surrounded them, and then it dulled.
Angel found himself standing in a place he remembered all too well, but he immediately realised that it was daytime. He began to dart for shelter when Kathy grabbed his arm.
"Don't worry Liam, this is just an image of what used to be, the sunlight here is not real. You never were one for sunlight anyway were you?"
Angel laughed, momentarily forgetting his situation.
"Mrs O'Neil used to brew a strong ale." He sighed.
The ground was sprinkled with snow in the little village in Galway, Ireland. The year, 1740. It was obviously Christmas time as most of the house windows had Christmas trees standing at them.
They heard the hoof beats of a horse coming from behind them, so they stepped out of the way. The horse coming towards them was a heavy, bay, carthorse. However, on its back were a young, handsome boy, about fourteen years old and a young infant girl of about six years old. The horse wore no harness of any sort, simply just a rope-looped loosely around its neck. The young boy held onto the rope tightly along with a chunk of the horse's mane. The little girl held onto the boy's waist as she bounced along to the horse's trot. They both laughed and screamed in delight.
Angel instantly recognised the vibrant pair and grinned at the memory of him and Kathy riding around on their father's carthorse bareback, but he knew what was coming next. From a house across the street an older, stern faced man appeared.
"Boy! Get in here now!" the man hollered.
Angel hesitated, as though, now, his father were talking to him directly. Kathy led him into the house. The young Liam stood in the corner, trying not to show his fear. Angel remembered how petrified he really was, and he knew now how unsuccessful he was at hiding it.
"What day is it today son?" The man said in an Irish accent.
"C-c-christmas eve, sir" Young Liam had his hand clasped behind is back.
"Wrong!" Liam's father picked up an ornamental glass, which stood on top of a mahogany unit and threw it at him. Young Liam moved quickly to the side and it missed him. Tears were welling up in his eyes, but he was determined not to cry.
"Not for you its not! You're a disgrace to this family. MERRY CHRISTMAS SON!" Liam's father grabbed a piece of cloth that had once been an item of clothing and threw it into his face. It was torn and ripped. He grabbed Liam by the scruff of the neck and threw him out onto the snow. Liam landed hands down in the snow and the door slammed behind him. He slowly got up and wiped the snow from his face in a very determined, dignified, Angel-like fashion. Standing tall and stubborn, he marched away from the house, never looking back.
"You changed after this, Liam, didn't you?" Kathy prompted.
"Yes, I changed." Angel said bluntly.
"But why? I mean he had done worse things to you before, why then?" Asked Kathy.
"I'd had enough. I was never going to be the son he wanted me to be. I tried, I really did try Kathy. But just then, at that moment I realised that if he thought of me as a useless, lazy, waste of space, I was as well being one. He was never going to like anything I did, so I was as well doing what I wanted. And who would have thought it would still be haunting me 200 years later." Replied Angel.
"He loved you Liam, he loved us all." Kathy insisted.
Angel laughed a small, sarcastic laugh.
"Loved me? The destroyer of all things good in his life? I don't think so" Angel smirked.
"At your funeral, he didn't weep a tear by your grave, but later on I found him in the garden begging for forgiveness. He didn't know I was there and he was talking to you, telling you how much he loved you and how bad a father he was." Kathy reassured. Angel simply sighed and then found himself in a new place, a place he didn't like at all. His father was locking up the house, rather panic stricken. Angel knew exactly why.
"No, no, no, I can't stay here! I can't watch this, don't make me…." Angel begged as he began to back away. Kathy firmly grabbed onto his arm.
"You must, you must understand what made you what you are now, you have to know!"
Kathy led Angel towards the door. Standing by the door was Kathy, looking exactly like the Kathy that stood beside him. Angel began to grow fearful as he saw himself appearing at the door. Kathy stood patiently as though she had seen this many times before.
The newly sired Liam grinned.
"Well, hello there my precious. Aren't you going to invite me in?" Liam asked.
"It can't be, my brother! You came back from the dead, then you must be an Angel…" Kathy started.
"An angel, yes my sweet that's right. You know that an angel cannot come in unless he is asked, even into his own home?" Said Liam.
"Oh Liam, come in, come in and be with us again, oh how I missed you." Kathy began to weep. Liam stepped over the threshold and began to laugh. He gripped Kathy by the throat.
"Liam, what are you doing?" she was panicking. "I'm coming home! Now my sweet Kathy, feel free to scream for the rest of the family. You are lucky that I got to you first, then you don't have to watch your dear parents die!" Liam taunted. Kathy began to scream.
"No, my brother, no, your not an angel, you're a dem…" Kathy began, before Liam place a finger gently over her mouth.
"Now, you don't want your last words to be that of evil, now do you?" and with that, his demonic features emerged, causing Kathy to struggle even more, and he violently latched his teeth onto her neck. Kathy was half screaming, half sobbing just before she took her last breath. As she dropped to the floor, Liam stood up and looked down on his dead sister proudly, like an artist admiring his latest masterpiece. He wiped the blood from his mouth, and went on to murder the rest of his family. From then on, he was to be known as 'Angelus', meaning 'Angel face'.
As Angel looked onto the scene, he could not help but weep. Before, all he had to go by were his memories, now he had seen his own actions played out in front of him. Angel had fallen to his knees with his head in his hands.
"Please, no more, this wont help me, please Kathy, please stop it. I'm so sorry, please, I'm not the same anymore, you know I have a…" Angel turned round in order to speak directly to his sister, but she wasn't there. Angel very quickly got to his feet and began to look around.
"Kathy, where are you? Come back, please! I need to speak to you, please…" He frantically looked around until he realised that the only sign of Kathy was her dead body that lay on the cold, stone floor. He knelt down beside her and picked up her hand. The two, gaping puncture wounds on the side of her neck, made by his own teeth, shocked him for a minute. There was little blood; he remembered that he had drunk her dry. He closed his eyes, the memory too painful. He held her pale, cold hand up to his face and began to weep again.
"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry..." he repeated until he could no longer feel her hand in his. He opened his eyes and found himself, once again in bed. He thought that he could hear a soft whisper in the distance.
"I'll always forgive you." It was Kathy's voice.
Angel took a deep, unnecessary breath and ran his fingers through his hair. He wasn't sure if he had just had another really bad dream. It all seemed so real. He sat up in his bed to have a think, and then let out a short gasp as he was startled by someone sitting on the end of his bed. Upon closer examination, he realised that it was Gunn.
"Gunn, what...? Why...? Has something happened? And oh yeah, knocking is always a good thing!" Angel said, more than a little confused. He thought that this night was never going to end.
"Aw, like you'd hear it anyway! Been havin' some funny dreams aint ya? Well it's about to get even funnier!" Gunn teased.
"Gunn, what the hell are you talking about? How did you know…?" Stammered Angel.
"You see I'm not actually here. I'm away, tucked up in bed like a good little boy, waiting for Santa. It's just my spirit you're seeing. Usually they get dead people to do this sorta thing, but they left you kinna late, so all the 'detached' spirits were booked, so your stuck wit' me." Gunn informed.
"Right, let me guess, you are going to show me my present, which couldn't be any worse than my past I suppose. But wait, I know what happened in my past, I was there. I know what's happening now, I'm here so, what the hell is the point? Is the spirit world just determined for me not to sleep a wink tonight or something?" Angel ranted.
"Ah, you may know about your past and present, but do you understand them? By the way that was a rhetorical question, so don't bother with the smart-ass answer, you are coming with me no matter what." Gunn insisted.