Author's Note: Firstly I'd like to apologize for the insanely long time that has elapsed since the last time I updated this thing. I've not forgotten about it, merely had too much else happening in my life to attend to a small fanfic. I do write more than just fanfiction, after all. Such as...oh...school reports. No telling when next an update will happen, though I doubt I've got readers perched on the fence drooling in anticipation of my literary endeavors. Commentary always welcome, you can criticize if you like, but let's be polite about it. I despise poor manners.
Disclaimer: The Stargate personnel and reality belongs to whoever wrote the series. Leiko belongs to me, and Ravindra to my soul-sister Rave. The crew of my ship belong to themselves, however I will be as vague as possible where they are concerned, since I don't want to infringe on their own copyrights.
Section 4: Bring on the Beer
Leiko let her lavender tongue hang out of her partially opened beak. She watched, amused, as a man poured beer into a large barrel. When she'd accepted the Colonel's offer of beer, she hadn't expected him to deliver. She knew the humans had rules about 'drinking on duty' and had assumed O'Neill wouldn't be allowed to go through with his offer. But then he'd obtained permission to have alcohol delivered in honor of her arrival. Even then she'd doubted he meant to give beer to her. She'd just assumed he'd get one for himself and not bother with figuring out how to provide beer for a very large cybernetic gryffin. But here O'Neill had a man pouring a drink for her. The black cyborg could hardly believe it.
"Looks like your beer is ready."
Leiko sniffed at the barrel of beer as the man took away the empty kegs. O'Neill raised his own bottle as the cyborg lifted her head.
"To the start of a…weird relationship."
Major Carter, who was watching from the other side of the room with Ravindra, snorted. Even Rave had an odd look in her eyes. O'Neill took a long drink from his bottle as Leiko contemplated her barrel. The gryffin gave a sigh as she plunged her face into the barrel and started sucking beer. After a few moments she lifted her head and shook it. Droplets of beer and foam spattered around the room, most of it landing on O'Neill. Leiko licked her beak and stared at the Colonel as he made some less than complimentary comments about cyborg eating habits. Ravindra chuckled and addressed the Colonel.
"You're the one who gave her the beer. She's got a beak, not lips. You should have known something would happen."
"I didn't expect a shower…"
Leiko chose that moment to do something that left the humans speechless. She burped. Not a quiet burp, but a powerful gryffin burp. All eyes turned to the cyborg and she seemed to look embarrassed. Though, since birds didn't blush, it was hard to tell.
"Uh…I've not had beer in a long time. Forgot the effect it has on me."
Leiko seemed to tilt slowly to the right as she spoke. Within seconds the large cyborg was laying on the floor, chirping. O'Neill stared in stunned fascination.
"Does she always do that?"
"Not typically, no. It's just that Leiko was never a big drinker, and our systems process food a lot faster than yours. She'll probably be like that for a while."
"You're saying we've got a drunk gryffin in the Gateroom?"
"Yep."
"Is there any way to get her un-drunk?"
"Nope."
Ravindra couldn't help it. The humans looked to be at a total loss, her Captain was chirping like a kitten, and she was hardly able to contain her laughter. She started snickering. Major Carter looked from O'Neill to Leiko and finally joined her in laughing at the whole situation. Teal'c just stood in silence, unsure of why they were laughing. General Hammond chose that moment to enter the Gateroom, pausing briefly to take in the situation. He did not seem amused.
"Colonel, we're expecting SG-5 to return in half an hour. You need to find a way to get our guests out of the way by that time."
After another long look at the chirping cyborg, the general made his exit. O'Neill turned to Ravindra, who was still chuckling.
"Any ideas?"
Rave managed to get hold of herself. She shook her head and cleared her throat.
"Yes, actually. Do you have guest accommodations in this facility?"
"Yes. But you're a little big..."
"Doesn't matter. We can go anywhere you can. Stand back, humans, and see why we are so feared."
The humans didn't know whether to take that statement as a joke or a warning. Rave stepped over to Leiko's side and put a forepaw on her commander's shoulder. A golden light engulfed the pair. It was so bright the humans had to look away. The glow grew smaller and faded, revealing a pair of humanoid females where the gryffins had been.
One was kneeling over the prone form of the other. She had short white-blond hair with two long, thin braids hanging just in front of her ears. The ears were pointed, and behind them were a pair of small red wings identical to those of the red gryffin. The female's body possessed the same cyborg implants that Ravindra had. She was dressed in a long-sleeved blouse with maroon-and-gold bands on her upper arms, and a red and gold bodice. Her maroon pants were skin-tight and she wore a red and gold boot on her non-cybernetic foot. Her eyes were red and possessed no pupil, but they still glowed with the good-humored light of the red gryffin's eyes.
The other woman, the one who was lying giggling on the floor, had cybernetic implants that corresponded with those of Leiko. She had long hair which was black at the roots, then faded to brown, gray, and blue at the tips. Her eyes were green. She wore skin-tight black pants with a knee-high platform boot on her 'flesh' leg. She wore a black leather bodice that did little to hide the curves beneath the garment and, so far as the observers could tell, she was completely and utterly drunk. The red-eyed woman turned to Major Carter, a grim smile on her pink lips.
"I had hoped she wouldn't be so bad now…but…"
"Ravindra?"
"Yes. We don't like to advertise this 'shifting' ability, but under the circumstances we don't have much choice. A drunk gryffin is not something your people should have to suffer. Colonel, you are to never, never offer her more than one bottle of beer ever again. Understood?"
"Yes ma'am."
Rave ignored the colonel's tone. He obviously didn't take her seriously, but she couldn't blame him. It was a very funny situation, unless you were the one having to take care of the drunk gryffin.
"Is there someone who can help me get her out of here?"
O'Neill helped Ravindra get Leiko to her feet. They had to hold her up between them because the cyborg kept falling over. She seemed especially fond of falling into O'Neill.
"I think she likes you, Colonel. Better keep an eye on her until she sobers up."
Rave chuckled as O'Neill gave her a strange look. He did not like the thought of a shape-shifting cybernetic gryffin 'liking' him, no matter how attractive her human form might be. He helped Rave transport the still-giggling captain to a room reserved for off-world visitors, then left. He noticed that a guard had already taken up position by the door as he left. That was good. The Colonel didn't feel like 'guarding' the guests himself. Besides, he needed to check on Daniel.
--- --- --- --- --- ---
O'Neill, Teal'c, and Carter gathered in the infirmary beside Daniel's bed. Their comrade had changed into his own clothing and seemed to be doing fine. Dr. Fraiser gave them a report on Dr. Jackson's health.
"Aside from the scar from that wound, he's going to be fine. I don't know how they managed to heal that injury so quickly, but there's no doubt that they saved his life. He should take it easy for a few days, but otherwise he's fit for duty."
"Are you sure they didn't do anything other than heal him?"
"I'm surprised at you, Colonel. Suspicious of our intentions, eh?"
All eyes turned to see Ravindra standing in the doorway, a guard looming behind her. She smiled sweetly and walked up to stand beside Dr. Jackson, who seemed a bit confused.
"Don't give me that look, Danny-boy. I've a few tricks...one of which is the ability to go humanoid."
"Ravindra?"
"Yes, such as I am. Still not able to pass as human, but get me a hooded cloak and I won't attract nearly so much attention."
Rave turned to Dr. Fraiser.
"Done with him yet? I'm sure he's got some reporting to do. And I'd appreciate it if he got on with telling you lot the details of what happened. Then you'll know my sister and I are no threat. Well, not to you humans anyway."
"I thought you were going to watch the other one..."
"She's asleep. Or unconscious. I'm not sure which. Besides, I need to put in a call to the Security Officer before she gets antsy and tries to destroy you."
There wasn't much that could be said to that. Ravindra soon found herself starring at an active wormhole, trying to get her crewmate to communicate.
'Science Officer to Security Officer...'
'Security Officer Here. Proceed with message.'
'Human successfully returned. Captain drunk. Stand down attack status.'
'Captain WHAT!'
'Drunk. Don't ask. Details later. Humans here are friendly but cautious. Will contact you in 24 hours.'
'...Message received. Will await further orders once Captain recovers from hangover. Don't get too friendly with the humans. You can't trust that species. Security Officer out.'
The Stargate deactivated as Ravindra shut down her signal. The humans were watching her, obviously wondering how she'd managed to contact anyone without actually doing anything. She smiled, deciding to take pity on the poor creatures. They couldn't help being 'slow', after all.
"Before you ask, we don't need to send audible signals. We communicate in a manner similar to telepathy. The difference is we use technology instead of genetics to send and receive the signals. Very useful way of communicating. Virtually undetectable by any means you'd be familiar with."
The humans exchanged glances. They detected the silent threat that seemingly innocent statement held. Rave was telling them that if anything happened to her, Leiko would know. The reverse was also true. At the same time the humans recognized that the cyborgs' communication method could be useful. That is, if the cyborgs were inclined to be allies.