Jack took in the scene, a smile playing on his lips. They looked so right together, it was uncanny, but it caused an ache deep inside at what he would be missing out on in the future. He caught Sam's eyes and the smile died on his lips. She was looking at him with such intensity that it caused his heart to skip a beat and forced him to look behind him, thinking perhaps one of the Jaffa was standing behind him. Seeing nothing, he looked back at her in question but found her features schooled once again. He let his gaze move to Grace, who was looking at him almost as intently as Sam had just moments ago. If he didn't know better, he thought she was desperately trying to tell him something…something of utmost importance.
Chapter 16 – Till We Meet Again
Jack continued to lock gazes with the little girl named Grace; the child who would one day be his 2IC's daughter. Sam had leaned back against the wall and closed her eyes, the rushed trek through the woods and maneuvering along the high ledge enough to drain the last vestiges of strength from her. That, along with her recent revelation as to Grace's parentage, forced her to let the exhaustion she had been holding at bay overtake her. As such, she was not witness to the looks that passed between the child and the older man.
As far as to who would win the staring contest between the two very worthy opponents, Jack never did get the opportunity to find out. Though as he thought about it, he duly acknowledged that the little girl could certainly hold her own! Two quick clicks from his radio drew Jack's attention away from the dark eyes that looked at him with such intensity, almost as if reading his soul. He turned away from the scrutinizing gaze as he keyed his radio and quietly replied. "O'Neill. T, that you?"
"Indeed, it is I O'Neill," came the equally quiet reply. "Are you and Major Carter well?"
"Just peachy, buddy. We've found a cave; just sitting around, roasting marshmallows and waiting for the Jaffa patrol to leave."
"I regret that we were unable to dispose of them O'Neill. I feared their demise would only bring more Jaffa to your area," Teal'c stated, ignoring the sarcastic remark about the fluffy white food that had no substance whatsoever. He never did understand why O'Neill liked to char the puffy squares over a fire; though the man seemed to enjoy charring most foods cooked over an open flame.
"No problem, T. You bought us enough time to find someplace to hide. They seem to have left the area for now; our position is secure. How about you and Danny? What's your position?"
"We have an ample distance yet to travel to the Stargate, but have yet to encounter more Jaffa patrol. I do not believe they will have a large contingent guarding the gate if they have arrived at the temple by ship, O'Neill."
"That's at least some good news. Get to the gate ASAP, then let me know the situation. I think Carter and I will sit tight until we hear from you," Jack added. He noticed how closely Sam was listening to the conversation, even though her eyes were closed. She had turned her head slightly in his direction and when Teal'c had mentioned that they hadn't encountered any Jaffa, her shoulders had visibly relaxed.
"As you wish, O'Neill," Teal'c stated before ending the transmission.
Jack let his own hand fall to his side after the conversation. Then, pushing away from the wall, he came over to where Sam and Grace still rested against the back wall of the cave. His body blocked what little light entered the cave, causing Sam to open her eyes and look up at him. "So, looks like we'll be staying for a while longer," he said, taking in her pale features with concern. He looked over to Grace. "You hanging around for a while?"
The dark intensity was gone from the child's eyes, replaced with a twinkling light. She smiled up at him. "I will stay with you for a while longer, sir." She looked over at Sam, the smile quickly replaced with a frown of concern. "My mother might still need me."
Sam smiled at the little girl before leaning back against the wall and closing her eyes. "I'll be OK, Grace. I'm just a little tired, that's all." Her eyes flew open as she remembered their situation. She sat up a bit straighter. "But I can take watch if you need to rest, sir," she insisted, though her voice still sounded weak.
Jack waved her off. "You rest, Carter. Once we hear from Teal'c, we're going to high-tail it back to the gate. I need you ready to go."
"Yes, sir," Sam replied, inwardly grateful that he was insisting that she rest. The morning's activities were quickly catching up with her.
"Here," Jack handed her his canteen and some power bars. "Eat something, both of you," he included Grace in his order. "It'll be at least 2 hours before we go; you at least need to get your strength back, Carter. You," he grinned slightly down at the little girl, "I don't think you ever run out of energy. But you might as well eat something, just the same." He frowned now in contemplation, then spoke his thoughts out loud. "Although, I suppose if you're not technically here yet, you might not need to eat."
"I can eat," Grace assured him before she took the proffered Power Bar, her nose wrinkling in distaste. She looked back up at Jack. "But I don't think I like these. Do you have any chocolate?" she asked, one eyebrow going up in question. Jack absently wondered if Teal'c would be teaching her that little trick sometime in the future.
Sam chuckled out loud at the question, glancing in amusement at Jack, who just shrugged his shoulders. "I think I've got something you might like, Grace," she replied, digging into the pack beside her and pulling out a chocolate bar.
Grace's grin lit up her face as she took the candy bar from Sam's hands. "Hey! You're not going to share?" Jack asked, a look of dejection on his face.
A small giggle passed Grace's lips before she broke off a piece of chocolate and held the morsel up to him, her hand outstretched as far as it could go. Jack took it with a smile and popped it into his mouth, closing his eyes in exaggerated pleasure. "Um. Now, if your mother would offer me more treats like that, I'd be one happy man!"
"And fat!" Grace giggled once again, Sam joining in.
Jack frowned at both of them, then stated in a mock-serious tone, "Ok, ladies. Stop giggling; that's an order." The giggles stopped but the smiles remained. "Get some rest Carter; that's also an order. I'll be by the entrance, watching for snakes," he indicated the opening of the cave with a crook of his thumb. He smiled to himself as he walked away, hearing Grace quietly ask Sam, "Can snakes crawl up cliffs?"
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Forty-five minutes later, Jack looked over at the two figures huddled under the blanket against the back wall of the cave. Grace's head was barely visible above the blanket but he could see how closely she was pressed against Sam. He had covered them both a half hour ago, not at all surprised that Carter hadn't even opened her eyes when he placed the blanket over her sleeping form. She had looked exhausted and Jack was beginning to get concerned that she wouldn't be able to make it back on her own. He really didn't want to risk having another team come this far in to help extract them; the less attention they garnered from the Jaffa, the better in his opinion. If whatever Goa'uld found out they were here, he knew they would be pursued until the Goa'uld got what he wanted; or was killed in the process. He had no problem with the latter scenario, but didn't want to risk anyone from the SGC; especially the blond woman currently sleeping. If there was going to be any chance for Grace to exist in the future, he had to make sure her mother stayed alive and healthy.
Jack turned back to the opening, his gaze roaming to the far side of the ravine and back, staying alert for the presence of Jaffa. While he sat against the wall, his P-90 resting in his lap, he thought about all that had occurred the past few days, Grace's presence in particular. There was now no doubt in his mind that she was Sam's daughter, although the how and why of it still continued to boggle his mind, so he chose not to dwell on that aspect of it. But if he let his mind dwell on other things, namely when Grace would be born and who her father would be, he felt his stomach clench in agitation. So he tried not to think about that too much either. Part of him was happy for her; Sam deserved to have a normal life and would make a wonderful mother – that much was already apparent in the short amount of time he had seen them together. But the other part of him; well that part was a knot of jealousy that didn't seem to want to go away.
He was startled from his musings by a small hand being placed on his arm. His eyes shot to the little girl in surprise; he hadn't even heard her come up to him. "Hey," he said softly in greeting, wondering why she had come over to him.
Grace looked deeply into his eyes, then sat down next to him and looked out at the scene before her. "I have to go soon. My time here is nearly over."
Jack glanced back at Sam, who was still sleeping deeply. Grace followed his gaze. "I will say good-bye to my mother before I go. She will be sad," the child stated matter-of-factly. "But don't worry; she is strong and will be fine."
"Yeah, I know. What about you?" Jack asked quietly. "Where will you go?"
Grace smiled and shrugged. "I will return from where I came. I will wait until the time is right for me to join my parents in this world."
Jack took in the upturned face, marveling at the beauty, the wisdom, and the sheer essence of life he saw before him. He had to look away quickly, as emotions threatened to overwhelm him. Clearing his throat purposefully, he said, "You are going to make your parents very happy, you know. They are going to be so lucky to have you in their lives."
She smiled beautifully up at him and placed her hand on his arm once again. "I am looking forward to that time, very much. My family will love me a whole lot!"
He looked away, saying gruffly, "I have no doubt about that, kiddo."
Grace got to her knees in front of him and placed her hands on either side of his face. The intent look in her eyes caught him by surprise. "Your family will love you lots as well," she insisted.
Jack was about to bark out, "What family?" But before he could, they were both drawn to the voice coming from the back of the cave. "Grace?" Sam called quietly, confused that the child wasn't next to her. Grace looked back at Jack, gave him a spontaneous hug, then stood up and went back to her mother's side. Jack watched her go, the ache in his heart intensifying three-fold.
"I'm here mommy," Grace said softly as she knelt next to Sam's side.
Sam blinked her eyes several times, trying to clear her mind. "I thought…I thought you left again," she said softly.
"Not yet," Grace smiled at her, then handed her the canteen so Sam could get a drink of water. "But I have to go soon." The two of them shared a look of deep sadness at the news.
Jack came over and squatted down in front of them. He gently placed his hand on Sam's forehead, testing for fever. When he felt cool skin under his touch, he let his hand fall away but remained crouched in front of her. "You OK?" he asked with concern. She was still pale but at least had more color in her cheeks than earlier.
Sam gave an effort to smile reassuringly at him, still finding it difficult to hold his gaze for long. "I'm fine sir. Sorry about sleeping so long. Any news from Teal'c?"
"Not yet," Jack settled onto the ground next to her, Grace on Sam's other side. "I'd guess we have another hour to wait, give or take. You want something to eat?"
"No thank you sir." She looked back and forth between Grace and Jack, wondering at the intent way Jack was looking at the little girl. She wondered if Grace had mentioned…something important to him. Sam glanced at him from the corner of her eye, unable to read his expression. But she didn't think he had had a recent revelation about this child, not like she had. How or when would she ever bring that little tidbit up? she reflected, before resolutely pushing the thoughts aside. Now wasn't the time. "So, what were you two doing while I was sleeping?" she asked innocently, determined to draw them out.
Jack and Grace looked at each other, each trying to think of a suitable answer. Jack came up with one first. "Not a whole lot, Carter. Your kid is kinda closed mouthed when it comes to talking about the future…or where she came from in the first place."
Grace's light brown eyebrows creased into a frown. "You know I can't…"
Jack brushed her answer aside. "I know, I know. You can't tell us anything…something about Grandfather clocks and all." He purposefully botched the expression, glad to see both ladies smile at the mistake, but neither one tried to correct him. "As Daniel has so eloquently pointed out to me several times: I have a penchant for asking bad questions," he continued, a rueful expression on his face. "I just don't understand why I can't get straight answers at least some of the time!" He looked meaningfully at Grace
"Uncle Danny told me that there are never bad questions, only bad answers," Grace declared sincerely.
Jack quirked an eyebrow at Sam. "Uncle Danny?" The moniker she'd added to Daniel's name not only surprised him, it also caused another wave of jealousy to course through him.
Grace looked up at him, slightly puzzled at his tone of voice. "Yes. Uncle Danny and Uncle Teal'c teach me lots of things; mommy says they dote on me!" she added with an impish grin.
Frowning in thought, Jack said softly, "So, let me get this straight. You know Uncle Danny and Uncle Teal'c really well. See them a lot I gather." At her hesitant nod of confirmation, he continued. "But I'm still…sir, huh? Not even Uncle Jack?" his impassive features belying the hurt tone behind his words.
Grace's face fell as she looked at Sam, then back at Jack, the indecision clearly etched on her face. "I'm…I'm sorry." She looked down at her lap. "I shouldn't have said what I did," she whispered sadly. "I'm not 'posed to talk about the future."
"Hey, no sweat, kid." Jack stood and brushed the dirt off his legs, needing to move away in case he said or did something stupid. "I'd better check around a bit on the ledge. See if the coast is clear yet. Stay put," he included both of them in his order, though he wouldn't meet either one's gaze before he walked back to the opening of the cave and onto the ledge. Jack took a deep breath of the late morning air, trying to get control of his feelings. He couldn't believe how hurt he felt to know that, sometime in the future, Sam would let Daniel and Teal'c into her child's world, but he would most likely be left out in the cold.
Back in the cave, Grace's head still hung down, feelings of sadness and shame overwhelming the little girl. Sam's eyes had followed Jack out to the ledge; his stiff posture indicating how tightly he was trying to control his feelings. She sighed; should she go to him and try to explain what she suspected; why he would never be Uncle Jack to the little girl? Indecisive, Sam was drawn back to the child beside her, who was sniffling back tears. Placing her hand under Grace's chin, she drew her head up. Sam was momentarily taken aback by the look of utter despair in the child's eyes.
"Oh Grace. Honey, it's OK. I know you didn't mean to hurt Colonel O'Neill's feelings."
Grace sniffled again. "But he's mad at me, mommy. I don't want him angry with me."
"Oh sweetheart," Sam drew her closer. "He's not mad at you. If anything, he's mad at me. He probably thinks I don't want him to be a part of your life. That maybe…your father is someone…else. But that's not the truth, is it?" she asked quietly.
Grace shook her head imperceptibly, but wouldn't say a word. She studied Sam carefully and saw the realization shining out of her mother's eyes. Grace blinked: she hoped she wouldn't get in trouble for this. Though she hadn't told her mother anything outright, Grace was still a bit apprehensive.
"Do you think…you should say something to him before you go?" Sam asked gently.
"I can't," Grace whispered, not meeting Sam's eyes. The child then rubbed at her eyes, wiping away the remnants of her tears and looked over at the figure of the man who stood outside the cave on the ledge. After a minute spent in silence, she looked back at Sam. "I have to go now, mommy. They don't think I should stay any longer."
Sam's face blanched at the news; she was just getting to know this remarkable child and now she had to leave. "I wish you could tell me how…you come to be. But I know you can't," she added quickly when she saw Grace look away. "Can you tell me when I will see you again?"
The child smiled softly in reply. "When the time is right, I will return." Sam nodded knowingly and smiled back.
The smile faded as Grace looked again at Jack, who had heard her declare that it was time to leave. He had glanced back at the two of them, then walked out of the cave to offer them some privacy, not wanting to intrude on Sam's final moments with the child. The soulful brown eyes turned back to Sam. "You will have to make many difficult decisions before my time comes. You must listen to your heart, mommy. Promise me you will?"
Blue eyes stared into brown for several long moments before Sam nodded her head in agreement. As one, they came together and clung to each other, each wishing the moment could last forever. Finally, Grace pulled away, smiled gently and kissed Sam on the cheek. "I love you, mommy. Don't ever forget."
Sam blinked back tears. "I won't Grace, I won't. I'll think of you every day until we meet again." She embraced the child once more before reluctantly letting her go. Sam looked over at Jack. "You should say good-bye to him, too. He'll miss you as well."
Grace nodded and stepped back. Sam rose to her feet and crossed her arms in front of her, trying to still the trembling she felt within her body. Whispering, "Good-bye, mommy," Grace turned and walked slowly out of the entrance of the cave. Sam covered her mouth with her hand and let out a soft cry as she watched her child walk away.
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Jack was leaning against the side of the cliff, looking off to the east. His mind was in turmoil, wondering what he could possibly do in the future to cause a rift between himself and Sam. Perhaps her marrying another man did it. Yeah, he could definitely see that happening, he thought ruefully. Of course, he could be dead…that would certainly explain why he wasn't known as Uncle Jack. He was pulled from his musings by a gentle tug on the back of his jacket.
Jack turned quickly and saw the little girl looking up at him, remnants of tears still in her eyes. He studied her carefully for a few moments before offering her a slight smile. "Hey, kiddo. Time to go back to the Emerald city?"
A smile briefly crossed her face at the reference before she sobered once more. Looking down at her feet, she said, "I…I'm sorry I made you mad. I didn't…I didn't mean to." Her lowered lip trembled at the words that tumbled from her mouth.
His heart clenching painfully, Jack squatted down to her level. "Hey, I'm not mad at you, sweetheart. Just myself." He cupped her face in his hands. "I just hate the idea that Daniel and Teal'c are in your life but I'm not. You are so special, Grace. You're so much like your mother – smart, strong, beautiful. I can't stand knowing that I'm left out…and not even… a small part of your life," he admitted, his voice catching on the words.
"But I already told you, your family will love you a whole bunch. You won't be alone," Grace insisted.
He laughed bitterly, "This old heart of mine is too beat up to offer much love anymore." His hands went to her shoulders and squeezed lightly.
"Don't say that! It's not true! My daddy once told me …" she stopped abruptly, eyes pained as if in indecision, before she continued less ardently. "He said: A heart is not judged by how much you love; but by how much you are loved by others. I know you are loved by lots of people and will be happy again one day."
Jack frowned; he knew that quote came from The Wizard of Oz. In fact, this little munchkin seemed to know an awful lot about the Wizard of Oz. Jack's face showed his confusion as he began to slowly process a few things about this child that had been staring him in the face.
Grace bit her lower lip as she watched the emotions cross his face, a look of indecision crossing her own. She seemed frozen for a many long seconds before her features cleared and a look of steely determination came over her. Jack sat back on his heels, dropping his hands to his lap and marveling at the change. She reminded him so much of Charlie at that moment that he was momentarily stunned speechless. The look his son would get when he was trying to convince his parents of something was almost exactly like Grace's right now. He started to feel a bit dizzy, his head swimming in a mixture of hope and confusion.
Grace placed her little hands on either side of his face now, leaned her forehead against his and whispered, "You will be a part of my life. You will." Then she flung her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. Jack returned the hug, his heart hammering as the hope he had just felt began to blossom more fully inside of him.
Placing her face in the crook of his neck, Grace pressed a kiss there. She drew back slightly, put her lips to his ear, and whispered softly, "Take care of mommy for me. I love you…daddy."
Jack closed his eyes tightly, a single tear making its way down his cheek at her words and a smile lighting his face. He returned the hug with renewed fervor, cradling the back of her small head in his large hand. He pulled back when he felt her arms loosen from around him. They looked at each other in silent understanding for a few moments before Grace raised her hand to his face to brush away the tear. Jack covered her hand with his, turned her palm and kissed it softly. "I'll be waiting for you, Grace," he whispered, before he reluctantly let her go.