This one's more 2x1 than 1x2x1, but hey. It's all good.
Next chapter will take lots longer, but hopefully it'll be worth it. I edit at least 3 times bare minimum on BR, as opposed to my usual 1 to 2 for every other story.
An important note: Eventually, you will see citrus-citrus in here (I'll post a link to it), and, more importantly, a horrendous plot twist. Be forewarned. As said in every chapter, it's an AU.
Warnings: See other chapters for general. Relena-harsh. Un-beta'd. Non-fanon Wufei (i.e. no nosebleeds). AU.
Black Reflection
Chapter 3
A Slowly Shattered Pane
It was Heero Yuy's eighteenth birthday, and he had never before wanted to kill himself as much as on that day.
Which, considering the horrible life he'd had and the fact he'd already actually attempted suicide two times, was saying a lot. He slouched in another plastic classroom at Detox High (or, more appropriately, St. Nicholas of Myra Academy), head against the wall, rolling his pencil up and down, up and down, up and down the wooden desk, the teacher droning on about whatever war they were learning about now.
Every student at Detox High had the same hungry, lost look in their eyes, save Trowa and Quatre. Wufei had it, just as Heero did, staring out windows, at their books, at the board, at whatever moved. Being clean for the first time in their lives was never anyone's idea of fun.
Excluding Quatre, of course. Heir to the Winner fortune, his New Year resolution had been to get his friends clean. So, he'd used his connections and drastic wealth to enroll the four of them into St. Nicholas of Myra Academy, a school made for drug and alcohol addicts with rich parents who wanted them to stop disgracing their family names.
Everything was quieted down before it got out of the gates, there were ten-foot walls surrounding the complex's dorms and buildings, and everyone wore the same outfit. Girls wore plaid skirts, light blue shirts, and a yellow sweater if it was cold. Boys wore dark blue pants, light blue shirts, and if it was cold a yellow coat or blazer.
Heero would rather die than wear the bright yellow jacket that haunted other boys' shoulders. So occasionally he nearly froze to death, but it was better than wearing the vibrant yellow annoyance in his opinion.
All the while, the teacher droned on, trying to keep the mutually addicted student body mildly interested, and Heero rolled his pencil up and down, up and down, up and down…
"Yuy! Please stop that infernal racket," the teacher suddenly snapped, slamming the tome of useless ancient facts together with a crack. All the students but Wufei (who sat in front of Heero, asleep) and Heero jumped at the sound. Heero just glared at the man in the tweed blazer, who glared right back, a sneer added to his expression. The teachers at Detox weren't paid to be friendly. "Oh, by the way, happy birthday Mr. Yuy." The girls gasped, the boys grunted, and Wufei snored lightly. "How about a round of Happy Birthday To You?" The girls most out of withdrawal clapped, excited.
"Haapy Biirrthdaay-"The bell rang, snapping Wufei up with a jolt, and Heero grabbed his one lonely book to make his way out of the room, but not before the non-withdrawal girls started towards him, that Look in their eyes. Fear strangled him, and he bolted out the door, the girls' mutually disappointed groans following him into the hall. He ran out into the spring air, not stopping until he was squished up against a wall with a grove of trees between him and humanity.
A chuckle above him turned angry blue eyes up to the tree, where a figure lounged, lazily flicking something shiny up and down, up and down, up and down-
"Hey." The figure's voice was familiar, but he couldn't place it. "You clean now?" Heero couldn't help it- he snorted at the absurdity of it all. To be clean and feeling worse than when he wasn't, to try and hide only to intrude on someone else, to be stuck in a personal hell so that Trowa and Quatre could be in a public heaven… "Oi! Heero! Snap out of it!"
The voice clicked. His eyes widened, his entire body shivered, his heart suddenly tried to pound out a techno beat, and a quiet smile formed on his lips. One word said it all.
"Duo."
The figure chuckled, and out dropped a uniformed angel, yellow blazer and all. He grinned, violet eyes sparkling in the shadows. "Told you I'd see you around," he said, deceptively cheery. Shadows wove around his eyes, and his hair had lots nearly all of its sheen. "Life still shitty?" Duo let himself fall against the wall, sighing in the process as his body hit the ground. Heero joined him on the wall, choosing to lean against it instead.
"Is it ever anything else?" he muttered, and Duo laughed again. He liked the sound.
"Not that I've seen! So, how's the school here, now that I'm enrolled and all that crap?" Duo asked, and Heero shrugged.
"Like every other school. Boring, overly social, and worthless," he said truthfully, and Duo nodded. A comfortable silence took up the air.
"I'm your roommate now," Duo said casually, and Heero blinked. That was…unexpected. "I can change, if you want. I mean, if you're not comfortable or something with it, which I'd completely be okay-"
"Duo."
The violet-eyed boy immediately shut up and started to absentmindedly tug on his braid, toes scrunching and unscrunching in the same brown dress shoes that went with every other boy in Detox High. Heero sighed.
"I'm fine with it," he said slowly, and violet eyes snapped up at him, grinning for his gaping mouth. Heero shifted, uncomfortable with his next irreversible statement. "With…all of it." If it was possible, Duo's mouth was even wider. Finally, he shook his head violently, shaking his expression off and rising to stare straight into Heero's eyes.
"So, you're okay with the fact that I think you were a sex god in a past life and want to lick you into a quivering puddle of lust?" Duo said, voice low as he grinned dangerously. Heero barely kept from shivering again, heat pouring through his body. He cleared his throat, very aware of the fact that the boy standing in front of him was capable of flustering him more than any other human on the planet.
"Maybe," he said, and nearly glared at how it came out as a low, needy whisper. Duo inched forward.
"I heard it was your birthday," he murmured, eyes terrifyingly bright. "Want a present?"
Heero smirked. "What ki-"
"HEEEEROOOOO," a girl's voice echoed inside the enclosure, and as Heero jumped back, Duo jumped at the same time.
"Who imported a banshee?" Duo hissed while Heero looked around angrily. A student was running towards them, skirt billowing in her haste to reach the tree. He didn't even have to wonder how she knew where they hid; she was born with a biological Heero tracker.
"Not a banshee- Relena," he stated coldly, and Duo nodded. "She's…attentive." Duo chuckled knowingly.
"Got it. I've gotta go finish all the paperwork, anyway. See you later," Duo said, waving as he began to walk off. Or, at least, attempted to. Heero suddenly had a steel grip on his wrist.
"How much later?" he whispered, and Duo's haphazard grin faltered for a moment.
"I have to go, Heero," he said softly, and another ear splitting yell came from the school building. Duo tried to jerk away, but Heero's grip was immoveable.
"How much later?" he snapped. Blue eyes fierce, he stared Duo down. "I won't let you run if you don't come back, Duo. How Much Later?" Duo glared, and suddenly one of the very knives Heero had given the longhaired boy was dangerously close to his throat.
"Alright, Heero," Duo snarled. "How about this? You don't control me, no matter how much you want to. Now let go." Heero glared, and the knife pressed closer. "Let. Go." Neither moved, eyes fiercely intent on the other's.
"You know I can kill you," Heero said coolly. "Just like you could kill me, and I'm not flinching. Now tell me when." Duo's violet eyes hesitated. "…Please."
"HEEEEROOOOOO," Relena's voice carried over the conflict, dangerously near. Heero dropped Duo's arm, and the other boy jumped back, quickly resheathing the knife.
"Two, in our room," Duo said quickly, and ran off in a flurry of brown and blue.
Heero's eyes closed of their own accord as he breathed in deeply. Even when Duo had held the knife to his throat, he'd been…whole, was the only phrase he could think of, as stupid as it sounded. Or maybe calmed.
Then again, he'd never had any true fears. Living almost his entire life with the knowledge of how to kill without a second thought had warped him, he knew. Hell, how could he not know? Therapist after therapist had needed therapy of their own after dealing with him.
His musings were cut off when a girl slammed into him, sending them both sprawled onto the ground. "Heero! I knew I'd find you here," she beamed, not at all inclined to get off him. "Were you talking to someone?"
"Yes," Heero stated, pushing her off and standing up with as much dignity as he could muster. "Go away."
Relena blinked at him, then chuckled. "Oh, Heero, you can't be serious. Whoever you were talking to isn't here anymore, so there's no need to be embarrassed."
He frowned. "Embarrassed about what?"
Her smile was a cross between shy and devilish. "How we…feel about each other." Relena's cornflower blue eyes lit up in a way he knew had to be bad. And when she licked her lips, that smile turning hopeful, every warning bell in his system went off.
Experience told him she'd never listen to the word "no". It also told him that trying to fight Relena would be taken as an open invitation to molest him. So, Heero did what he saw as the only way out, and tore back into the building, her anguished cry of "HEEROOO!" following his feet as they rushed towards the room he now shared with Duo.
But, when he strode into the room, it looked exactly the same, aside from a single black duffle bag stuffed into the corner. Frowning, Heero checked his watch. It was only 1 PM. Resigning himself to an hour-long wait, he lay down on his bed, mind still swirling with Duo.
Just the fact Duo was somewhere nearby felt…intoxicating. And he wasn't exactly sure he liked that. He couldn't even really name the feeling, either. It was…it was…Heero frowned, trying to find the right word. It was like that feeling he got after figuring something really hard out. No, that was too simple. It was more like spring morning sunlight's subtle kiss on a grassy field while he simply sat with his friends, the clouds gliding past-
"YUY!"
Heero jerked up, the feeling evaporating as Wufei pounded on his door.
"YUY! Let me in!"
Glaring, Heero yanked it open, only to have Wufei's fist slam into his forehead instead of the door. Wufei blinked at him, the dark circles under his eyes making his shell-shocked expression reminiscent of a startled kitten.
"You're actually here," Wufei stated, and Heero's glare hardened.
"Where else would I be?"
Wufei snorted, walking past Heero and settling on the other- no, Duo's bed. "You tell me."
Heero shook his head slightly as his friend became entirely too comfortable on Duo's bed. The clock told him he'd managed to pass twenty minutes simply trying to name a foreign emotion. Now was NOT the time to put up with Wufei's cryptic remarks and blunt opinions. "I don't have the time for this."
Wufei snorted. "What, you have company?"
For some reason, he hesitated. Something was itching in the back of Heero's head, but he ignored it. The sooner Wufei knew, the sooner he'd leave. "Yes," Heero stated, reopening the door as his friend's surprised expression slammed back on. "Now get out."
A strange look crossed Wufei's face, yet another emotion Heero couldn't put a name to. "Heero-" he began, then seemed to think the better of it, quickly rising to his feet and nodding curtly. "I'll be in the library."
"Thank you," Heero said, and with another nod Wufei was out the door, closing it politely behind him.
As the door clicked shut, a soft exhale of breath erupted from his tiny bathroom. A moment later, a weary Duo stepped out, bittersweet smile etched on his breathtaking face.
"Hey, Heero?" he asked.
"Yes?"
Duo sighed. "Will you do me a favor and…and not tell anyone you've seen me?"
Heero frowned. "Why?" He'd never been one to agree to things without thoroughly examining the request, regardless of who it came from.
Duo fell onto Heero's bed, arms splayed out as if crucified. "Lots of reasons. Mostly for safety- both of ours." Heero's frown deepened as Duo continued on. "See, I'm probably not going to be in any of your classes, and you won't be in any of mine, and, well…I don't think dear Wuffy would be very happy to hear about me." He sat up, intense eyes almost hypnotic. "I don't want to get you in trouble, Heero, but…I'd like to stick around, if you don't mind. So promise me you won't talk about me to anyone." He paused, seeing the indecision in Heero's eyes. "Please, Heero. This is important."
Part of Heero was screaming out in agreement, that having Duo back would be worth anything, that it was such a little thing, not even a lie, only omission. Such a little thing…
But another part whispered Caution to him, insinuating the hidden moments everyone in the world had, and that Duo must have them too, regardless of what and how he felt around him.
"I promise," he found himself saying in the end, and an almost heartbreakingly beautiful smile bloomed on Duo's face.
And then somehow Duo was so blissfully close, his fingers a breath away from Heero's lips, violet eyes strangely soft, his other hand ghosting across the air near the blue-eyed boy's waist. Heero found himself shivering, although he was far from cold.
"Do you trust me, Heero?" His breath was so close he could feel the words in his soul, those teasingly close fingertips still gliding around him. It was so hard to think… "Don't think, Heero. Answer." He leaned forward, and Heero's neck burned from the closeness of those lips. "Do you trust me?"
Did he? No. "I don't trust anyone."
A husky chucked rolled across his skin, and the shivers and heat were back, multiplying through his body. "Smart of you," Duo whispered. "Good."
And the barrier shattered like delicate glass as Duo finally touched him, lips crashing down onto his neck, almost tenderly nipping below his light blue collar as his right hand finally gripped his waist. The hand slipped down to his hip, and Heero shuddered. Fire was searing his mind, his skin, his blood. Duo's other hand splayed around the nape of his neck, sliding around and down to his chest, Duo's sinfully perfect lips gliding to below his ear, right on the jawline. Heero couldn't help it- he moaned, head rolling back to allow Duo more room to maneuver- room he took without hesitation, driving him mad.
And suddenly he was against the wall, and Duo was wrapped around him, their lips pressed together as Duo's clever fingers worked on the tiny buttons of his shirt, Heero's hand caught in that gloriously tangled waterfall of chestnut silk, barely clinging to the form of a braid. His other fingers soared across Duo's shoulders, feeling the wiry strength in his muscles. He was being consumed by the heat, the fire, and in a single blinding moment he KNEW-
Duo lurched away from him, pulling back like he'd been electrocuted, panting and disheveled.
There was something wrong. Something…something…
"I shouldn't have done that," Duo finally got out, voice hoarse. "I-" His voice cut off as their eyes met again. Those slender, hard shoulders slumped. "I'm going to take a shower." Without another word, he turned back towards the smaller room.
"I…" Heero began, and Duo froze. What was he going to say? His thoughts were so jumbled, so heavy in his still-hazy mind.
Start from the beginning, something in his mind whispered. The beginning of what…his thoughts? Yes, that was right. Start from the beginning. Start with the truth.
The truth. He was still out of breath, and his voice was still a timid, shaking mass of emotion. "I didn't want you to stop…"
"That's why I had to," Duo whispered, and opened the hall door instead of the bathroom. "Take a shower. I'll be back tonight." A soft smile formed on his lips. "Happy birthday, Heero." He stepped through, not looking back.
Heero stepped forward. "Duo, wait-" But the door shut, and when he wrenched it open there was no sign the other boy had even been there.
For an unknown period of time, Heero stared at the empty doorway, and the empty hall, and the empty space which HAD to have Duo in it…eventually. And as soon as he came into view, Heero wanted to see, to see if he was smiling or frowning, laughing or lethal.
Eventually, he found himself in the shower, door shut and scrubbing for the life of him, half-tempted to brutally shear his unruly brown locks, but instead he washed them, and washed them, and washed them, stepping out of the shower red and raw. Nothing his half-empty bottle of lotion wouldn't fix. Numb, he rubbed it on and dressed again, glancing at a clock on the vanity. Four thirty.
It wasn't even close to sundown. And Duo had said he'd be back 'tonight', after all…
Heero didn't even realize he'd moved until he was standing in front of the library's circulation desk, inquiring as to where Wufei was. The librarian quickly pointed him towards a random corner, and Heero headed off.
As expected, Wufei was sitting in an armchair with a nonfiction book in his hands. Apparently today he was studying for psychology and a bit of biology, an involved frown etched onto his forehead, his big, thin reading glasses slowly sliding down his nose. When Heero sat down in the nearby wooden chair, Wufei simply glanced up and nodded, returning to his book.
Several minutes passed, until Wufei slowly slid his precious leather bookmark in and closed the tome, setting it aside and staring straight at Heero. "Talk."
"What do you mean?" It was a feeble attempt at normalcy, Heero knew, and so did Wufei, snorting at the effort.
"You smell like lotion, you look like shit, and you actually kicked me out for a 'guest'. Now stop being stoic and ask for advice," Wufei frowned.
You just promised, that little voice in Heero whispered. You promised to say nothing about Duo. Are you going to break that already?
"I'm…confused," Heero said broadly, trying to hedge around Duo. A single black eyebrow rose in expectation, but his mouth remained shut. Wufei sighed.
"Is this about your cross?" Wufei was almost as perceptive about his emotions as Quatre, although they both had completely different methods. Quatre understood through empathy. Wufei understood by slashing through all the bullshit to the raw, feeble truth.
"No." Heero shook his head. "It's still safe." He had no idea what had happened to Duo's cross- it had disappeared two months ago, and to the surprise of his friends he had simply accepted its loss, an undeniable feeling of the object's safety residing in his thoughts.
"Then it's about your 'company'." Wufei said, making annoying quotation marks in the air- one of the quirks Heero didn't judge worth fighting over.
"Yes," Heero snapped.
"He or she?"
Heero glared, and Wufei rolled his eyes. "Fine. You're confused about what, sex? Want a manual?" As his glare intensified, Wufei smirked. "So it's the relationship and not the sex then." Heero simply nodded, and Wufei shifted in his chair, cracking his neck efficiently. "Then I need details."
Heero would have sighed in defeat if he hadn't spied Trowa and Quatre, the inseparable pair, come in to the library, Quatre's arms stacked with books as a terribly amused Trowa followed closely, picking up randomly dropped novels.
"They're distracted. Talk."
Wufei's voice snapped him back, and Heero shook his head, standing up smoothly. "He wouldn't like it if I did," he said, quite possibly the first time he'd ever said anything absentmindedly, striding past the ignorant happy couple and back to his room.
Time passed. Five turned to six, and he ate dinner in the cafeteria with a silent Wufei, still reading psychology books with reckless abandon. Six turned to seven, and Heero found himself staring at his door for an hour. Seven turned to eight, and he made himself do some homework, constantly checking the door. Eight turned to nine, nine to ten, ten to eleven, and he was back in the shower, rubbing and scrubbing and washing himself red. As eleven turned to twelve, he stepped back out of the bathroom to see a half-naked Duo stretched out in Heero's bed.
"It's about time you got out of there," Duo muttered, a strangely nervous grin on his lips as he held out a hand to the shocked Heero Yuy. With a moment of hesitation, Heero put his hand in Duo's, and was comfortingly pulled into bed. Duo's arms wrapped around him, and his head rested in the crook of Heero's neck. A soft, contented sound breathed out of the boy with the long brown braid when Heero's arms encircled him in return. "Would this be a bad time to tell you I'm only here because you are?"
"No," Heero managed to say, sleep coming far too easily, and far too fast. He wanted to savor this, not go unconscious…!
Duo snuggled closer, if it was possible. "Just go to sleep, Heero. I'll be here when you wake up. I promise."
And as Heero's eyes slid shut, his lips slid open into a small, contented smile that lasted through the night.
----
Come on, as a group… "Awww!"
Intentionally gets befuddled/fast/jumpy.
You know, I'll just take this moment to say that EVERYTHING in this fic is intentional. If it's not perfect, it's there for a reason. Thank you.
Thank you to all my lovely reviewers! I really appreciate them!