Disclaimer: Usual disclaimers apply.
A/N: Ummm... sorry, can't really update as often as I'd like now. Left home and no way in hell can I afford the internet so it's really difficult to update fics. I've gate grashed the parental unit for this. Enjoy.
Chapter 7: Freedom to move.
James kept delaying the time he told his friends the truth. Perhaps it was that he was so wound up in his own problems that he failed to realised that this was about eighth time that Remus had gone home, him either being sick, or some member of his family. It was Sirius who brought it up.
"Have you noticed that Remus, is always sick around the same time each month. He always goes home at a full moon."
"Full moons bring out the worst in people."
"Hmm, I just think it a bit strange that Remus is going home //again// and //again// it's a full moon. This time it's his aunt. His 'aunt' never writes, or sends Christmas presents. Never even knew he had an aunt before lunch today. Obviously close enough to go home to see when she's ill, but not to have Christmas presents for. If I were him, I'd be a bit pissed."
"Just leave it Sirius." James told him, he was too busy to think about Remus' sick family with his potions assignment that was due in for tomorrow
"At least he doesn't have to do his homework." Sirius sighed. "Lucky devil. But really James, think about it. Full moon, unheard of sick relatives. Que spooky music I think." James rolled his eyes. "Do werewolves exist."
"Of course they do. But they're just like normal people most of the time. Only at the full moon, where they turn into a wolf and kill all they're friends and family! Not to mention a certain slimy insufferable git."
"Really?"
"No, not really. They do exist, they're harmless save full moons, and they probably would kill friends and family if they got in the way."
"Even slimy insufferable gits."
"No, I mean even werewolves have taste. Snape would be all...slimy, and would congeal on your tongue."
"Remind me never to eat Snape."
"Why would you want to?"
"Well if I killed him and then to dispose of the body you would have to eat him yes? And he's hardly human and therefore it wouldn't be cannibalism wouldn't it."
"Si, where's this all going to." The half blood boy faced his potions homework again.
"Do you think Rem is a werewolf, I mean, he's been sick and stuff, every full moon since start of school, and never before and never after. It just seems a bit weird. Not like it would matter if he was..."
"Sirius, shut up." Then James thought. Remus was sick a lot, he was never in school either way during a full moon, and he wasn't in the hospital wing. "Werewolves get a lot of bigotry today."
"Why?"
"People are scared of what they don't understand. There's no cure for werewolves you just have endure it."
"Poor Remus."
"Look, just forget about it, he's not a werewolf."
"Would you care if he was?"
"I'm hardly in a position to care about what somebody is once a month. I mean it can't be worse than Miss 'swotty' Evans and her PMS."
"Ooh, you evil thing you."
"What I'm saying is that, I don't care, we all have secrets that we're not ready to tell yet. I have secrets that I'm certainly not going to share for a while. Why can't Remus? You have secrets, yes?" Sirius nodded. "Actually we all know you have a crush on Lily so it's out."
"Drat" then Sirius leaned forward. "I know, but...ask him please?"
"Ask him? You want me to //ask// him? I think not! Why don't you."
"Because you're better at it than me."
There was no way that James could get out of this one. So when Remus returned late the next day James was waiting by the fire for him. "Hello, Remus."
"James? What are you doing up so late."
"Waiting for you. So how's your aunt?"
"My...my Aunt?" James raised a brow. "Oh my aunt, yeah she's a bit better?"
"What was wrong with her? The Flu wasn't it?"
"Yeah, that was it."
"Funny, I seem to remember it was Glandular fever, a couple of days ago. Isn't it weird how, illnesses change?"
Remus could only let out a weak giggle to that.
"And also, you always go home on full moons, thought that was just an old wives tale. Sirius is full of this idea that you're a werewolf, correct me if he's wrong."
Remus said nothing, only bowed his head. "I'll be going now, you probably..."
"Bloody hell Rem, why didn't you tell us?"
"I'm sorry, I'll be going..."
"Going where?"
"Home. You won't want to be friends with me now you know what I am." James merely gawked at him.
"What? Oh for fuck sake, do you really think we care?
"Most would."
"We're not most, we're us." James rolled his eyes for now having to say something so corny. "We still want to be friends with you. And we won't tell any one. I didn't even want to ask you. Si made me do it. I've been dreading it all day. I had this little speech written out for if you said you weren't. I was going to blame it all on him and hope for the best. I hardly noticed until Sirius brought it up. You know him, obsessed with the sky. His mother was an astronomer that's why they're all names after stars. Insane" he rambled it all.
"Are you ok James?"
"What, yeah sure." But then he continued rambling. "I have no idea why he was so obsessed with finding out whether you were a werewolf or not. I just said to him that you had secrets that you were ready to share." James took a breath. "I know that I have this massive secret that I would like to share, but I'm just too petrified to do it. But, why am I talking like this? Rambling on like there's no tomorrow. Maybe I ate something weird or maybe I'm just terrified. But I don't know what could have made me scared enough to ramble like this. But, oh yeah I'm always scared, always scared of //him// why can't he just..."
"James!" Remus slapped him on the face, only then did James remember that it was the fourth time Remus had tried to grab his attention. "What the hell is wrong?"
"Nothing." James squeaked. "Look, Si, is up in our dormitory with Peter they're waiting anxiously as though awaiting their execution."
Remus gave a giggle. "They would be executed if they were wrong" He stopped half way up the stairs. "Thanks, for finally getting this out from me, and for not freaking."
"Why would I freak?" Remus shrugged "Like I said. We all have skeletons in the closet..."
"I thought that was just you rambling."
James shook his head. "No, I have a secret."
"Are you going to tell us?"
"Yes...I hope."
The middle of February brought a bad bout of flu and Peter was one of the poor souls infected, luckily James Sirius and Remus seemed immune to the pesky bug. It was Friday evening and most of the students were down in the common room playing chess or cards. The three boys weren't though. None of them had really felt like socialising with the others, James had just wanted to get an early night, talk to his friends.
Both Remus and Sirius knew that something was bothering James, they kept saying that since Christmas he just seemed very depressed and they kept reminding him that they were always there for him. It was that Friday evening, playing cards on James' bed, a silencing charm on it, did James open up.
"My mother's died."
They just gawked at him, like he had just admitted he was gay and wanted to have a threesome with them. "Quit looking at me like that."
"I'm sorry, James. I know it's really hard to deal with the loss of you mother, how did she?"
"They don't know. They said that they'd keep in touch...but. They've been saying that my whole life and they never told me anything."
"This was a long while ago?" Remus asked.
"No, this is recent."
"James I'm so sorry...you're welcome at my house any time, as long as howling doesn't keep you up."
"No I'll be fine. Don't get all sympathetic, I hardly knew her, haven't seen here since I was five."
"Excuse me?" Sirius asked.
"Remember Halloween?" They both nodded. "When Riddle said I looked nothing like my parents?"
"Yeah, and you said, you get that a lot."
James nodded, "Yeah. They aren't my parents, I'm adopted, my real mother, my birth mother has died, not the one who raised me."
"You're adopted? But your family, it's a pureblood family, down the generations it would be every where if you were adopted." Remus said awe struck.
"You're right." James said giving a lop sided grin. "It was secretly done. I am now James Potter; I have a birth certificate showing that I am, just like you are Remus Lupin and Sirius Black. But I haven't always been me."
"I don't understand." Sirius said.
James tried a different approach "Every one knows that Seabastian Riddle was murdered. It's massive relief for me, I'll tell you that. But how do they know...if he's never been found. He has a grave, a bodiless grave. Imagine how awful that must have been for his family, no body to bury? But I know that his mother was happy, she knew that he was in a better place, even though there was no body."
"James what are you on?" Sirius asked, Remus merely looked confused.
So James just took a deep breath. "Seabastian Riddle isn't dead."
"Not this again." Remus sighed. "He is, his father murdered him."
"How do you know?" James asked.
"Because it fits."
James shook his head. "He isn't dead."
"What have you met him or something?" Sirius laughed.
"No."
"See, how do you know?" Remus almost yelled.
"He's me." James said his back straight. "That's how I know. I was I am Seabastian Riddle."
"Oh my god" Sirius breathed "How?"
"My Father, the evil Tom Riddle supreme ruler of the world said, 'I name this child Seabastian'"
"No, I mean //how?//"
"I explained it all to you. I was put up for adoption, then when it was all done, my mother proclaimed me as missing, then the search began, then they found out that my father was beating me. Then they asked my mother, and she told them that the night before I went 'missing' there was a very violent attack, which there was, the police and the ministry took it from there. They began to search for a body. When there was none found, they let my father go, and my new life began."
"This must be awful." Remus said.
James nodded. "I lived a life in secrecy for a year, and every time I went out even after that I needed a guard with me. When I met you? That was the first time I went out on my own, ever. And that was when I saw my father. There, in the potions supplier. I was terrified, absolutely terrified. Then Remus, you said that he was looking for me...I've been so scared. And Halloween when he spoke to me, every thing came flooding back all the pain he caused...his voice it terrifies me, I don't want to be scared, but I am. He left me scarred. In more ways than one."
"Let me see." Sirius said.
Nodding, James slowly pulled off his T-shirt and turned around. He knew what they saw, thin white lines all over his back, wherever the whip, that night had touched, there was a scar. He felt a cold finger touch one of them and trace it down his back. "Why did he do this?" Sirius asked, he seemed on the verge of tears.
"I overheard his plans to take over the world. Literally. Well to kill the Minister any way. Snapes father was there. I was meant to befriend our slimy Slytherin friend. In the morning though... I still dream it sometimes."
Sirius pulled James down and wrapped his arms around his neck. "Si, what are you doing?"
"You need a hug."
James said nothing; he just closed his eyes and enjoyed Sirius' warm body being next to him. He felt an inner joy inside of him, potent, for realising his secret and his friends understanding. However, upon opening his eyes he saw Remus stare back at him, with a strange look upon his face.
A/N: sorry about the corniness of the chapter. It's just meant to put things together really. Hopefully the next one will be up relatively soon. :)
A/N: Ummm... sorry, can't really update as often as I'd like now. Left home and no way in hell can I afford the internet so it's really difficult to update fics. I've gate grashed the parental unit for this. Enjoy.
Chapter 7: Freedom to move.
James kept delaying the time he told his friends the truth. Perhaps it was that he was so wound up in his own problems that he failed to realised that this was about eighth time that Remus had gone home, him either being sick, or some member of his family. It was Sirius who brought it up.
"Have you noticed that Remus, is always sick around the same time each month. He always goes home at a full moon."
"Full moons bring out the worst in people."
"Hmm, I just think it a bit strange that Remus is going home //again// and //again// it's a full moon. This time it's his aunt. His 'aunt' never writes, or sends Christmas presents. Never even knew he had an aunt before lunch today. Obviously close enough to go home to see when she's ill, but not to have Christmas presents for. If I were him, I'd be a bit pissed."
"Just leave it Sirius." James told him, he was too busy to think about Remus' sick family with his potions assignment that was due in for tomorrow
"At least he doesn't have to do his homework." Sirius sighed. "Lucky devil. But really James, think about it. Full moon, unheard of sick relatives. Que spooky music I think." James rolled his eyes. "Do werewolves exist."
"Of course they do. But they're just like normal people most of the time. Only at the full moon, where they turn into a wolf and kill all they're friends and family! Not to mention a certain slimy insufferable git."
"Really?"
"No, not really. They do exist, they're harmless save full moons, and they probably would kill friends and family if they got in the way."
"Even slimy insufferable gits."
"No, I mean even werewolves have taste. Snape would be all...slimy, and would congeal on your tongue."
"Remind me never to eat Snape."
"Why would you want to?"
"Well if I killed him and then to dispose of the body you would have to eat him yes? And he's hardly human and therefore it wouldn't be cannibalism wouldn't it."
"Si, where's this all going to." The half blood boy faced his potions homework again.
"Do you think Rem is a werewolf, I mean, he's been sick and stuff, every full moon since start of school, and never before and never after. It just seems a bit weird. Not like it would matter if he was..."
"Sirius, shut up." Then James thought. Remus was sick a lot, he was never in school either way during a full moon, and he wasn't in the hospital wing. "Werewolves get a lot of bigotry today."
"Why?"
"People are scared of what they don't understand. There's no cure for werewolves you just have endure it."
"Poor Remus."
"Look, just forget about it, he's not a werewolf."
"Would you care if he was?"
"I'm hardly in a position to care about what somebody is once a month. I mean it can't be worse than Miss 'swotty' Evans and her PMS."
"Ooh, you evil thing you."
"What I'm saying is that, I don't care, we all have secrets that we're not ready to tell yet. I have secrets that I'm certainly not going to share for a while. Why can't Remus? You have secrets, yes?" Sirius nodded. "Actually we all know you have a crush on Lily so it's out."
"Drat" then Sirius leaned forward. "I know, but...ask him please?"
"Ask him? You want me to //ask// him? I think not! Why don't you."
"Because you're better at it than me."
There was no way that James could get out of this one. So when Remus returned late the next day James was waiting by the fire for him. "Hello, Remus."
"James? What are you doing up so late."
"Waiting for you. So how's your aunt?"
"My...my Aunt?" James raised a brow. "Oh my aunt, yeah she's a bit better?"
"What was wrong with her? The Flu wasn't it?"
"Yeah, that was it."
"Funny, I seem to remember it was Glandular fever, a couple of days ago. Isn't it weird how, illnesses change?"
Remus could only let out a weak giggle to that.
"And also, you always go home on full moons, thought that was just an old wives tale. Sirius is full of this idea that you're a werewolf, correct me if he's wrong."
Remus said nothing, only bowed his head. "I'll be going now, you probably..."
"Bloody hell Rem, why didn't you tell us?"
"I'm sorry, I'll be going..."
"Going where?"
"Home. You won't want to be friends with me now you know what I am." James merely gawked at him.
"What? Oh for fuck sake, do you really think we care?
"Most would."
"We're not most, we're us." James rolled his eyes for now having to say something so corny. "We still want to be friends with you. And we won't tell any one. I didn't even want to ask you. Si made me do it. I've been dreading it all day. I had this little speech written out for if you said you weren't. I was going to blame it all on him and hope for the best. I hardly noticed until Sirius brought it up. You know him, obsessed with the sky. His mother was an astronomer that's why they're all names after stars. Insane" he rambled it all.
"Are you ok James?"
"What, yeah sure." But then he continued rambling. "I have no idea why he was so obsessed with finding out whether you were a werewolf or not. I just said to him that you had secrets that you were ready to share." James took a breath. "I know that I have this massive secret that I would like to share, but I'm just too petrified to do it. But, why am I talking like this? Rambling on like there's no tomorrow. Maybe I ate something weird or maybe I'm just terrified. But I don't know what could have made me scared enough to ramble like this. But, oh yeah I'm always scared, always scared of //him// why can't he just..."
"James!" Remus slapped him on the face, only then did James remember that it was the fourth time Remus had tried to grab his attention. "What the hell is wrong?"
"Nothing." James squeaked. "Look, Si, is up in our dormitory with Peter they're waiting anxiously as though awaiting their execution."
Remus gave a giggle. "They would be executed if they were wrong" He stopped half way up the stairs. "Thanks, for finally getting this out from me, and for not freaking."
"Why would I freak?" Remus shrugged "Like I said. We all have skeletons in the closet..."
"I thought that was just you rambling."
James shook his head. "No, I have a secret."
"Are you going to tell us?"
"Yes...I hope."
The middle of February brought a bad bout of flu and Peter was one of the poor souls infected, luckily James Sirius and Remus seemed immune to the pesky bug. It was Friday evening and most of the students were down in the common room playing chess or cards. The three boys weren't though. None of them had really felt like socialising with the others, James had just wanted to get an early night, talk to his friends.
Both Remus and Sirius knew that something was bothering James, they kept saying that since Christmas he just seemed very depressed and they kept reminding him that they were always there for him. It was that Friday evening, playing cards on James' bed, a silencing charm on it, did James open up.
"My mother's died."
They just gawked at him, like he had just admitted he was gay and wanted to have a threesome with them. "Quit looking at me like that."
"I'm sorry, James. I know it's really hard to deal with the loss of you mother, how did she?"
"They don't know. They said that they'd keep in touch...but. They've been saying that my whole life and they never told me anything."
"This was a long while ago?" Remus asked.
"No, this is recent."
"James I'm so sorry...you're welcome at my house any time, as long as howling doesn't keep you up."
"No I'll be fine. Don't get all sympathetic, I hardly knew her, haven't seen here since I was five."
"Excuse me?" Sirius asked.
"Remember Halloween?" They both nodded. "When Riddle said I looked nothing like my parents?"
"Yeah, and you said, you get that a lot."
James nodded, "Yeah. They aren't my parents, I'm adopted, my real mother, my birth mother has died, not the one who raised me."
"You're adopted? But your family, it's a pureblood family, down the generations it would be every where if you were adopted." Remus said awe struck.
"You're right." James said giving a lop sided grin. "It was secretly done. I am now James Potter; I have a birth certificate showing that I am, just like you are Remus Lupin and Sirius Black. But I haven't always been me."
"I don't understand." Sirius said.
James tried a different approach "Every one knows that Seabastian Riddle was murdered. It's massive relief for me, I'll tell you that. But how do they know...if he's never been found. He has a grave, a bodiless grave. Imagine how awful that must have been for his family, no body to bury? But I know that his mother was happy, she knew that he was in a better place, even though there was no body."
"James what are you on?" Sirius asked, Remus merely looked confused.
So James just took a deep breath. "Seabastian Riddle isn't dead."
"Not this again." Remus sighed. "He is, his father murdered him."
"How do you know?" James asked.
"Because it fits."
James shook his head. "He isn't dead."
"What have you met him or something?" Sirius laughed.
"No."
"See, how do you know?" Remus almost yelled.
"He's me." James said his back straight. "That's how I know. I was I am Seabastian Riddle."
"Oh my god" Sirius breathed "How?"
"My Father, the evil Tom Riddle supreme ruler of the world said, 'I name this child Seabastian'"
"No, I mean //how?//"
"I explained it all to you. I was put up for adoption, then when it was all done, my mother proclaimed me as missing, then the search began, then they found out that my father was beating me. Then they asked my mother, and she told them that the night before I went 'missing' there was a very violent attack, which there was, the police and the ministry took it from there. They began to search for a body. When there was none found, they let my father go, and my new life began."
"This must be awful." Remus said.
James nodded. "I lived a life in secrecy for a year, and every time I went out even after that I needed a guard with me. When I met you? That was the first time I went out on my own, ever. And that was when I saw my father. There, in the potions supplier. I was terrified, absolutely terrified. Then Remus, you said that he was looking for me...I've been so scared. And Halloween when he spoke to me, every thing came flooding back all the pain he caused...his voice it terrifies me, I don't want to be scared, but I am. He left me scarred. In more ways than one."
"Let me see." Sirius said.
Nodding, James slowly pulled off his T-shirt and turned around. He knew what they saw, thin white lines all over his back, wherever the whip, that night had touched, there was a scar. He felt a cold finger touch one of them and trace it down his back. "Why did he do this?" Sirius asked, he seemed on the verge of tears.
"I overheard his plans to take over the world. Literally. Well to kill the Minister any way. Snapes father was there. I was meant to befriend our slimy Slytherin friend. In the morning though... I still dream it sometimes."
Sirius pulled James down and wrapped his arms around his neck. "Si, what are you doing?"
"You need a hug."
James said nothing; he just closed his eyes and enjoyed Sirius' warm body being next to him. He felt an inner joy inside of him, potent, for realising his secret and his friends understanding. However, upon opening his eyes he saw Remus stare back at him, with a strange look upon his face.
A/N: sorry about the corniness of the chapter. It's just meant to put things together really. Hopefully the next one will be up relatively soon. :)