(A/N) Elissar, thank you for the flame, the warmth was good for my arthritis. I would like to encourage those of you who decide to review to add what you did and didn't like. This chapter is dedicated in loving memory to Terra. A Teen Titan who was a good person who made bad choices. I am decidedly NOT a Terra hater, she had her good points. Thinking for herself totally and knowing whom to trust weren't those points. Plus, her power was just too cool.

Disclaimer – I don't own the Teen Titans, some guy with lots more money than me does. Lucky punk.

Tamed – Scary Thoughts – A date is set for the…uhm…date.

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The morning's training had gone fairly well. Beast Boy had done his half hour of speed shifting with only a slight headache to show for it. Raven had read the last of the comics and had picked apart the writer's poor story line, pointing out the actions that the hero could have taken to get the same results without so many battles. "Fights are kind of the point of most comic books…but you are totally joined with Wisdom if this is the kind of stuff that you feel first."

Smiling she replied, "I never really liked that she never used contractions…but now I catch myself doing it in my head."

"What's a contraction again? I can't remember." Growing up in Africa instead of going to regular schools had its down sides too.

"It is when two words are joined into one smaller word…cannot becomes can't, do not becomes don't, anything like that." Her robe had gone a mustard color as she spoke.

Beast Boy was glad Starfire wasn't there; she'd probably try and taste Raven or something. "Cool, I get it. So, she never used 'em?"

Raven liked the casual way Beast Boy did almost everything. Even how he used individual words was casual. She envied him for that a little. "Nope, no at all. I think she did it to help distinguish herself from everyone else when they would be trying to tell me something all at the same time. It worked, since when I hear somebody speak like that I think of sages on mountaintops. And you're supposed to listen to sages." She smirked.

Beast Boy looked at her funny. "You mean like those guys who wear robes and just give advice to people who had to climb a mountain to find them?" He thought for a moment. "I thought those were, like, Buddhist monks."

Raven, caught off guard from Beast Boy knowing more than he let on again, gawked till she had a response. "Well, the classic idea of what I was talking about is from that, but where'd you learn about Buddhist monks?"

"One of the books Robin sent with me. It had this stuff on animals from Naples…"

"I think you mean 'Nepal'."

"That was it! Anyway, it talked about the animals there and how the monks leave them alone since they think it's wrong to kill another living creature." He smiled, proud of himself for remembering.

"Cool. What do you want for lunch?" She was hoping he would let her cook. She needed the practice and she felt that it was only fair that they share the chores.

"A tofu burger, fries, and a soy shake." He smiled at her slyly. "But I'll take whatever you're offering."

"Good…I wouldn't know how to cook fake meat anyway." A funny thought struck her. "Why do you eat tofu that's made to taste like meat if you're trying to abstain from meat and any meat byproduct all together?"

"Uh…'cause I don't want to just eat plain tofu? Wait…no…uh, I think it's because I used to like meat, when I was little, so it was the easiest way to go vegan."

"OK, I was just curious." She had grabbed some fruits and vegetables from their food lock box and was starting to cut up the carrots.

"So when do you want to go on our date?" He hoped to everything he'd ever even heard of that she thought that was as casual as he wanted it to sound. Seeing her freeze, mid-slice made him think that it had been too casual. "Sorry! I was just trying to get stuff planned and I wanted to know how much time I had." Well, that sounded like good, old, panicky me, he grumbled at himself.

Raven felt blood returning to a familiar spot on her face…it was good that she had her back to him. "Uh…wh-when did you want to do it?" Stuttering…great…that'll really show I'm not nervous.

Inside his mind Beast Boy chuckled. I can make Raven nervous? This is so totally backwards. "I was thinking we could do it Friday. That way if you didn't have any fun, or I did or said something stupid, you'd have Saturday to calm down and not kill me." He smiled, but inwardly he knew he wasn't really joking. "And if you do have a good time, than I'll have that much more of a reason to gain control of the beast so that I can see you for more than just breakfast on Saturday." OK, that last part sounded cheesy, but at least she has to go…she had already said she would.

Raven thought his idea over. It had merit, but part of her wasn't looking forward to the buildup in tension the week would bring. Then again, doing the date as soon as possible felt like it would bring on a full-scale panic attack too. I'm trying to not hurt him…go along with his idea; it'll show him…it'll show him what? That I like him too? Ugh…too man questions. "Friday sounds fine. What're we going to do? There's no restaurants or movie theaters or anything else."

"You'll just have to wait and see!" He grinned sneakily. "And no going in my head to find out early!"

She sighed just quiet enough for him to not hear. All aboard the anxiety express. "Fine, but you should know by now what kind of stuff I'll like and won't like…so you better figure out something we'll both enjoy."

"I already know what we're doing, why do you think I told you you're not allowed in my head to peek?" He liked being able to act like this. Like he had some treasure that he was going to share, but not until the time was right. Raven would probably like to know sooner, but she was going to have to wait. "The waiting is the best part about a good present!"

"Sure it is." She screamed at him in her mind for him to just tell her already, but reason won out, she would wait.

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Everything else that day had been routine…they were settling into a nice comfortable pattern for their training. Mornings with books, afternoon in practice. Raven had decided that the trips into her mind would be more productive if she spent her time with whatever emotion she was seeking to fuse with next. She had figured that the desire for the emotion needed to be at some kind of pinnacle for the merger to be successful. She hadn't felt even the slightest hint of Wisdom and her separating.

Beast Boy, on the other hand, looked as if he was improving exponentially. He had made the transition to his second set of cards exclusively now, so that meant he would be transforming only into animals he knew of, but had never attempted. Even with the increased difficulty Raven was certain that two things were dramatically increasing in Beast Boy, the speed of his morphing and his powers of concentration. He could focus so much more acutely now that even his reading had benefited from it. She often had to ask him something more than once if he had immersed himself in one of his books. It always made her smile when he finally looked up, and she had teased him more than once about how he now knew how she felt when he interrupted her back at the Titan's tower.

The evening brought something that Raven felt was…well, too creepy for even her. "You want what?"

"I want you to do to me whatever you did to Dr. Light."

He has the same look in his eyes that he has during his speed drill. "How can you seriously want that? It's a power that I've always avoided. Do you even know what it did to him?"

He eyed her sharply. This was more dangerous than she wanted things to be. "Robin told me what he thought. He said it was like you caused him to experience all of his worst fears, all at the same time."

She grimaced, wasn't Robin ever wrong? Robin probably wouldn't have said it if he had thought he might be wrong. "That's right…my powers kind of swallow you and open that part of your mind that holds back fear and lets it wreak havoc. It's something that my people did to the worst of criminals. Why would you think I'd do it on you? It's supposed to make the person go mad."

"But that part isn't permanent. Dr. Light was doing his same old stupid stuff again after he broke out. I want you to do it because I think it'll help me with the beast."

"How will getting so scared that your sanity runs away help you with that?" She was shouting, and she didn't see it, but nearby rocks were being enveloped in a black glow.

Beast Boy saw them, he wasn't sure if he should tell her or not…it would be harder to get her to do what he wanted if she pulled back into herself, thinking that her powers were going to go out of control again. "I want you to do it because if I know exactly what my worst fears are, than I can use them to give me the emotional serge it takes to get back in control of it." The rocks were drifting lower. She must be considering it, he guessed. "Please, Rae. I know that it's not something you like, and I know it scares you, but I'm asking you to do it so that I can at least try this. I'm not some little kid, I'll take my risks, and I've been thinking about this a whole lot lately…even more than I've thought about my studying. Please, let me try." The rocks had all been released from Raven's subconscious control. Luckily, she didn't notice the slight clatter as they hit ground.

Her frown gave way to a simple look of disapproval. "I don't like this at all…the only reason I'm going to do it is because you've thought about it enough for me to believe you really do know what you're getting yourself into." The frown returned. "What do you want me to do with you after we're done? You probably won't be thinking straight." His face grew harder than Raven had ever seen. It looked almost alien to her when compared with his normal jovial attitude. The closest thing she could remember where he had looked like this was when they had had to fight Terra.

"I think doing what they do in a nut house would be good, but since we don't have a straight jacket, is there some way you can tie me down on my bed? That way I can't hurt myself while I'm recovering." Beast Boy could see that she didn't like his comment about the straight jacket or that it was obvious he had planned this answer out…it didn't sound anything like his way of talking.

"Keeping you tied down wouldn't be hard…I can just use my powers or blankets or both." Cyborg could never be told about this, he would tease her and Beast Boy forever about getting into freaky things while they'd been alone on the island.

Relief at her accepting his choice chiseled away some of the hardness from his face. "Good, then let's get started. What do I need to do?"

Raven blanched. "You want to do it now? But…why now?"

His first smile of their conversation didn't calm her like he hoped it would. "I want to do it now because I don't know how long it'll take to get better after it. I want to be able to still go on our date on Friday." That same smile became much more shy when he admitted this.

Raven didn't know how to answer that. Should she tell him he was being optimistic about recovering by Friday or should she tell him that that sounded like a bit of a childish answer? No, she should be honest. Who would want to put their life on hold and if she were going to do it, she wouldn't want to wait almost a week first…especially if the end of that week had a day that she didn't want to mar the memory of by doing something like this almost the very next day. It would be the very next day from his perspective she reminded herself. She suddenly looked up at Beast Boy; she had realized how long she had just been standing, thinking everything over while he had been patiently waiting for her answer. "We'll do it now. Go get your bed ready by pulling the blanket off while I grab what I can from my room."

"'K." He only gave her a small glance over his shoulder as he walked off, she still looked worried, but nothing else had been hit by her powers…what was it that triggered it?

When they both had finished moving any sheets or blankets they had into Beast Boy's room Raven had led them into the clearing. "This won't hurt you physically like it did Dr. Light since it was Anger acting like Trigon who did that to him."

"So what should I be doing?" He felt nervous, but stuffed every scrap of it back down so that Raven could go through with what he had chosen.

"You just stand there." She took a calming breath. "I'm sorry." And with her words barely having reached him, Beast Boy watched as Raven's eyes blazed white while black tendrils emerged from her cloak. He found himself in their grasp and was pulled into her robe, though he never seemed to get to her.

It was a strange experience…he was sure he should have already bumped into her leg by now. And then it started. It was like he was living through all of his worst fears like they were happening right that very second to him. They flooded his entire mind and when they reached the brim, they overflowed. The only thing he could feel was pure fear in all its horrible glory. His only release was the joy he felt at blacking out.

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When Beast Boy woke up he was groggy and had trouble remembering how he had got into bed. Cyborg must have tied him up during the night again. He should know better. It only works till I change he thought blearily. He was ready to become a field mouse when he saw Raven asleep in a chair to his side. His brain must have decided he was awake enough to handle the truth because he suddenly remembered exactly where he was and exactly what had happened. He shuddered, but felt glad that he was thinking clearly in spite of what he had seen. He cleared his throat hoping that it would wake Raven up.

Raven's eyes popped open. She had heard Beast Boy cough or something, so she turned to look at him. All she could do was stare. He looked fine. He looked like nothing was wrong at all. Her mind locked up trying to figure it out when he said something. She refocused her eyes back onto his face. "What?"

"I said, how long have I been out?" He didn't like how she was looking at him, it made him feel like he had been out for a lot longer than he had thought. "I made us miss our date, didn't I?"

Raven still couldn't get her mouth to do what she wanted…she could tell him any day she wanted it to be and he wouldn't know. She quickly dismissed such a cruel idea from her mind. Crass would be in trouble for suggesting something that hurtful.

"Uh, Rae? Are you really awake? 'Cause I'd really like to know what day it is and stuff." He smiled weakly and suddenly she looked very upset.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?" Her mind had decided against the rational path…a good freak out seemed due.

"Dude! Why're you shouting? What'd I do?" He wanted to sit up, to stand, anything other than just being stuck tied up on the bed. For some reason, it didn't seem OK in his head for him to change so he could get out while she was talk…er, yelling at him.

She had managed to get at least a little control over her volume, though not her temper. "You've been out for a little over an hour! How in the world could you possible do that? And don't you dare tell me it was Robin, because it doesn't matter how much planning you do, you can't plan for your mind to just unleash your worst fears on you!" She was starting to calm down, but she desperately wanted everything to finally make sense. It was impossible, but there he was, perfectly normal. "Wait…I just thought of something. Do you remember what happened?"

Now he really wished he wasn't tied down. He didn't know why she was acting like this, but he knew that he wanted to help her calm down and feel better. He felt like holding her. "I remember. I remember what I saw too. I don't know how I'm OK now…I'm guessing that it's a little sooner than most?"

"The quickest I've ever read was about two weeks. You shouldn't even be able to string together more than three words. I don't understand…there's too much I don't know how to deal with. How did you go from being the goof and official team screw up to this? You're doing things that aren't supposed to be possible." She was giving in to the sadness that had come with her outburst. "Do I really know that little about you?"

"Raven, I didn't know I could do any of this either. I just know that I need to do it. I need to for so many reasons that I just can't let myself mess up this time. I think I'm just growing up." She was shaking badly, still trying to understand, still trying to make sense of everything that she had just left by the wayside to avoid figuring it out. "Please let me up."

His voice held kindness and concern. She used her powers and undid the knots she had made. Raven watched as the green man sat up and turned so that his legs were over the side. He stood and walked over to where she still sat in his desk chair near the foot of the bed. He knelt down and pulled her into a comforting embrace. She was still shaking a little when she felt him start to stroke her hair and tell her it would be all right and that he would help her through all of it.

Raven had never felt so cared for by anyone since she had left her mother. Beast Boy was not holding her, giving her care and comfort because she was some girl he liked, he was holding her because he was her friend and she needed the love that family could only provide. He would just do the best he could and hope that it would be enough.

When Raven realized she wasn't shaking anymore and that she was just enjoying the feeling of warmth that came from her friend in so many different ways, she returned his hug with as much of her friendship in it as she could. "Thank you." She felt him give her one last good squeeze before letting go. "But I still really do want to understand. How are you OK right now? Didn't seeing whatever you saw terrify you?"

His tone was gentle. He would have loved to have been able to just hold her like that all night. "Of course it scared me. I felt like I almost wanted to die. But I don't think it showed me anything new. I've been thinking about what my biggest fears might be, and I already lost sleep on the nights when I would realize one of them and start to really think about it."

"So you think that you already went through most of it?" When did Beast Boy get to be so brave?

He thought a little. "Yeah, kinda. I also think I'm OK because I saw it coming. You told me how you were going to do it and when and everything. I think I was just prepared. I still blacked out. Dr. Light was awake when he came out of it."

Raven wasn't sure if it was OK to ask the question she had, but Beast Boy had just been so caring towards her, maybe he wouldn't be mad. "Beast Boy?" He turned to face her. "What did you see?"

Looking at her from his place on the floor he pondered her question. "Are you sure you want to know? They might be things that scare you too."

The concern on his face made her feel as safe as she could feel. She knew that he would tell her if she asked and she knew he would comfort her no matter what. "I want to know because I want to know you better. You're the only person to ever come through this as though it was almost nothing. I want to know what you faced."

He sighed. "OK, but I feel the same way about this as you did about doing that thing to me." He focused and organized his thoughts. "There're really only three main fears. The first one is pretty obvious. We're all at the tower. I have a bad dream or something and change into the beast during the night. And then I go room to room and…and k-kill everyone. No point or reason, I just kill everyone, and it's not the beast in control, it's me. I just look like the beast." He shuddered seeing the images play through his mind again. "In the second one everyone is mad at me because I pulled some prank or something and everybody wants to kick me off the team because I'll screw up in some fight and get myself killed. The alarm goes off and we all head out after the bad guy. While we're fighting the bad guy I act like we've already got him beat and everybody believes me. We're doing some celebrating thing when the bad guy comes back suddenly and wipes everybody out except me, but I'm hurt real bad. He tells me how everyone is dead and then he thanks me for being so stupid and kills me." Another shudder follows another replay of the horrific scenes he had forced upon him. Raven takes his hand to calm him and to encourage him to continue. "The last one scares me the most, it's the only one that I think could really happen." He lets his lungs empty and fill a few times. "In my last one you and I are a happy couple." Beast Boy went a little pink in the cheeks as he turned to the floor. "We're celebrating some anniversary when Terra comes back. She sees us and I'm so stunned by it that I run over to her. You get mad and yell at me for it and Terra gets mad that I didn't wait for her. In the end I lose both of you. Sometimes that one has either you killing Terra or her killing you, but no matter what, I end up…alone."

Raven was transfixed on his face as she followed the tear down. She didn't like him sad, she needed to change the subject. "Tell me about Terra."

He wiped away his tears with his free hand. "Why do you want to know about her?"

"Did you love her?" She didn't think this question would feel this…prickly…to her.

He looked into Raven's soft violet eyes. "I think so. I don't think it would have hurt for as long as it did after she betrayed us if I didn't."

"So…if you loved her, then why are you asking me out on dates?" It hadn't been said in any kind of accusatory way, she just wanted to know why.

"Because I think I might love you. A person can fall in love more than once. At least, I hope they can." He was smiling, but instead of her face, he was smiling at the sight of their hands still joined.

Her anxiety was building again. Suddenly it felt like they were too close. "I think they can." Stupid Affection, nobody asked! "Uhm…I think I need to go to bed."

His smile had exploded like a fourth of July firework with what she had said, he could be perfectly fine with waiting for her to finish getting used to him, truth was, he had a huge jumpstart on her from all their time in Titan's tower that he had spent trying to learn more and more about her. "Oh, OK…night then, Rae."

He had stood and helped her out of her chair. It wasn't until she was turning to head out the door that he had finally let go of her hand. "Good Night, Beast Boy." She said looking over her shoulder, and then she was gone.

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(A/N) This chapter really developed strangely for me. I had only the vaguest of ideas of how things were going to go when I started writing, but the deeper I got into the chapter, the more clear the picture became. Felt kind of cool. Though, I don't think being able to write with an increasing clarity makes this a good chapter, but I'm not complaining about it.