(A/N) wizardmon92, combat uses of an aardvark? I have no clue, it's in there to keep him on his toes, besides, there could be non-combat uses for it. I just looked them up on wikipedia, and they have great senses of smell and come from Africa. And the reason Crass was orange was because that's what color the creators of Teen Titans gave Raven's rude side. Crass's name in the original comics actually was Rude. Talk to the guy who I'm about to address next to get the scoop on Raven and the original comics in general. Regrem Erutaerc, I did mention the color change from the merger with Affection, it was a dull white color as Beast Boy put it. It was just very early in the chapter. pureangel86, nobody else is left but Happy. The order of the emotions Raven's rejoined with are Wisdom, Crass, Intelligence, Bravery, Timid, Serenity, Affection, and Anger. BigQuise, I have no plans on a sequel to this fic, I'm avoiding creating new villains, which I'd have to do if I wanted the Titans to have a real challenge after beefing up Raven and Beast Boy like this. I also avoid the whole Dragon Ball thing of how everyone continually escalates in power, though I do enjoy that corny little show. BrianDarksoul, Anger…confrontational? Maybe.
Disclaimer – I don't own the Teen Titans, some guy with lots more money than me does. Lucky punk.
Tamed – Everybody Hurts – An angry Raven, a suffering Beast Boy, and a date? Idiots.
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"What is it, Happy?"
"I wanted to see your new color! Oooooo, it's almost white. Sweet!" She pranced around Raven as she spoke, peeking under, around, and through her cloak at the lightly shaded leotard. "So are we merging now? 'Cause I'm ready to merge now if you are!" She looked a tad bit excited.
Raven gawked at the pink robed self in front of her. "No." She said flatly. "I don't want to deal with you right now." She tried her best to keep the leave-me-alone-or-die tone of her voice as present as possible.
"OK." And Happy just ran off down the hill and leaped into the air to fly pretending she was Superman from an old TV show she had seen.
"Doesn't she ever knock it off?"
Beast Boy was smiling at the retreating pink form. "Knock what off?"
"That whole childish act, like nothing can make her stop being…uh, happy." She finished lamely, annoyed at her own unimaginativeness.
"The stuff that happens to you doesn't choose how you feel, it's all reactions."
"So I've been a victim of my own bad choices every time something blew up?" Her arms folded in front of her as she cocked an eyebrow at him.
Realizing how she was taking what he said and how she had just merged with Anger, Beast Boy quickly went into damage control mode…something he had plenty of practice in from failed pranks…the successful ones too. "Uh, n-no! I meant that she can keep being happy without it being an act if she chooses to feel that way."
Raven's gaze darkened. "So she's able to choose, and I'm not?"
This was so much worse than one of those stupid sitcoms where the guy had to figure out how to tell the girl she wasn't fat. "I didn't say that…I was just saying it so you wouldn't be mad at her."
"Why would I be mad at her? Just because she throws it in my face how she's so blitheringly giddy about life when I haven't been able to enjoy it like that…ever!" She was yelling a little now.
"Whoa! Calm down, Rae! It's not like that! She just…"
"And why're you defending her? Shouldn't you be on my side?" Definitely yelling.
This didn't look so good. How was he supposed to answer questions that were loaded better than Robin's utility belt? "Uh…I am on your side…so's she, she's you, just…the part of you that gets to be silly or smile or laugh when it wants to. That's what I want you to have…I want you to be able to feel everything you want to without having to worry about it, without it causing you pain." Why was she looking at him like that? "I want…you…are you…smiling?"
Raven let the smirk she had show a little more and nodded. "Now you know how I felt when you pretended to pass out!"
He just stared, open mouth, eyes glazed, arms dangling. Then his mind cranked back into gear. "That was totally awesome!"
Raven's smile fluttered between egotistical and gracious.
"Dude! You need to help me with pranks when we get back! They'd never know what hit 'em with you delivering the set up!"
"Maybe…come on…I want out of here."
"So…you want to go out of your mind?" His cheesiest smile accompanied his eyebrow waggle.
Raven smiled. "OK, that one was funny…keep working at it and they all might be."
"You only wish you'd thought it up first." He quipped.
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Raven smiled to herself as Beast Boy walked back into camp having just washed the dishes from dinner. She caught his suspicious look at her and she decided to indulge it. "I just figured out what you're going to do to say you're sorry for pretending to faint."
"…Uh…what, uhm, did you decide?" When he had walked back into camp she had only looked a little mischievous, now she looked like the cat that swallowed the canary…he was pretty sure he was the canary.
"You get to be the one who explains…us…to the rest of the team, AND…" she smirked, "you have to go on a date with me to the café I like to go to."
Beast Boy sighed in relief. "That's not so bad, I was really worried for a second. I mean, sure, Cy and Robin will probably tease and bug me about the details and everything, and Star'll crush me in some hug, but she'll…but…you're…why're you smiling like you did the last time you pulled something on me?"
A nice sinister smile lit up Raven's cheeks. "Because I wasn't done setting my terms. You also have to dress like the people at the café usually do and you have to read a poem in front of them."
"OK, now that sounds a lot more like what I was expecting." He replied half stunned. "Do I have to write the poem?" He was starting to sweat.
Raven's face softened some. "No, but whatever poem you do has to be a serious one, no goofy or silly things so that you can try and get me back." She was surprised to see Beast Boy looking at her with pride. "What?"
"You HAVE to help me pull at least one really good prank on Cyborg. You're awesome at fixing the loopholes! I'll even make you a deal. You help me with Cy and I'll write a serious poem for the coffee place. Deal?"
"I think I can agree to that." The canary tasted good, she thought to herself. It's cute when he thinks in animal metaphors.
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Beast Boy didn't know how he had done it, but he had. Raven was going to actually do some combat training with him. He would change into his other self and she would use her powers to subdue him. He wouldn't be attacking her, since she couldn't take a hit like he could while he was changed. Instead, he would be making an attack on a solid oak tree that they figured could sustain a good bit of damage.
The ground rules were simple. Beast Boy would attempt to score hits on the tree, and he could use any trickery he wanted to do except for directly attacking Raven. Raven could do anything she wanted to defend the tree, since they both knew she wouldn't be able to generate a bubble around the whole thing and although the beast couldn't break free from her prison spheres, Beast Boy could just by changing into something too large or heavy for Raven to hold.
The fight would be fair and even.
Raven started next to the tree while Beast Boy stayed out of view about two hundred yards away. Raven was flying around the top of the tree, attempting to keep a sound lookout in all directions. She had tried to feel where Beast Boy was with her powers, but he had eluded her so far. A sharp sound called her attention to the south and she was quickly shielding the trunk from a rapidly approaching Beast Boy. He tried dashing to the side to gash the tree's bark from the side as he passed, but Raven had moved her shield with him.
Suddenly springing straight upward he slashed through several tree limbs and branches. Raven adjusted as fast as she could and let his leap carry him right into one of her barriers. He collided firmly with the black force and began falling half limp to the forest floor.
He landed with such a loud crash that Raven came zooming in as quick as she could. "Beast Boy! Are you all right?"
He sprang forward at the sound of her voice and scored a savage hit into the oak's flesh. Raven growled to herself at being caught in a trick of him playing possum. She quickly grabbed several of the fallen tree branches with her powers and let them smack the Titan back away from her charge. Beast Boy retreated out of sight, running back into the surrounding trees. Raven had locked onto him while he was out in the open, and knew right where he was.
She felt him drawing near, though at a much slower pace than before, like he was sneaking in on a deer before he pounced. Raven readied herself, he'd be coming into sight soon…just through those bushes…soon…but he never came. Well, she felt him still drawing steadily nearer, but she couldn't see him. A thought came to her, he's underground! She quickly phased her arm into the earth where she was sure he was at and felt around for anything. Nothing came, and he still seemed to be steadily getting closer to the tree. Raven was sure he was practically next to her, but she couldn't see anything, and she couldn't find him underground either. She looked up, expecting to see some bird or other, but she knew he was somewhere beneath her feet…no, past them now.
Raven calmed herself and thought…he's not underground, so he must be above it. He's coming very slowly…he's not sneaking slowly in, so he probably can't move that fast. He's got to be some kind of bug or something. She stepped in between where she felt Beast Boy was and let her powers blast all the leaves and dirt at her feet away from the trunk. As the blast came she saw a small bit of something flow into the form of a rhinoceros. It charged in to gouge the tree with its horn, but Raven caught it and let it slam into another tree that was behind him. Beast Boy seemed to disappear again, and he was moving a lot faster this time. Raven was having trouble keeping up with his movements, which seemed erratic.
She caught sight of a green blur zinging past her, which she tried to stop with another black wall right in its path. Beast Boy must have been expecting it and sprang upward in his beast form, chopping through several more branches, which rained down on Raven. She shielded herself from the wooden shower and fumed at the rising green creature. She quickly grabbed hold of him and launched him back towards the ground. He hit so hard that he bounced a foot or so after impact.
Beast Boy sprang to his feet and launched himself straight at Raven, a loud roar accompanying his charge. Raven threw a shield around herself; shocked that Beast Boy was attacking her. Her eyes closed fractions of a second before he impacted, but no collision sounded. Raven looked around her and didn't see her Beast Boy anywhere. She had lost contact with him and attempted to feel out his location again. She turned around towards the tree, he was…inside it.
Raven backed away a few steps as an ominous crackling sound came from the old oak. The trunk blew apart in a rage of sound and splinters. The tree toppled over, crashing to the ground with an even louder cacophony of noise. Standing where the once mighty tree had been was a grinning Beast Boy, splinters and dirt littering every inch of him. "I win!"
"OK, fine!" She fumed. "How did you blow up a tree?"
Beast Boy jumped down from his victory stand excitedly. "Well, when I saw you close your eyes I changed into a humming bird and went around to the backside of the tree! Then I changed into a cell like I did when I went in Cyborg and when I got to what I thought would be the middle of it, I couldn't really see anything, I changed into a golem and blew the trunk apart, but I had to wait till it finished falling before I could change back."
"A golem?" He nodded to her. "You changed into a golem." Another gleeful nod. "THEY'RE MADE OF STONE!"
His ears drooped heavily. "Uh, yeah. I was reading about them, and I figured that it was worth a shot. If it didn't work, I would have just tried coming back out and thinking up something else." His words had gotten softer as he spoke. There were several stones, branches, and tree bits floating in the air surrounded by a black aura.
"YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO CHANGE INTO THAT! IT'S NOT A CREATURE! IT'S NOT FLESH AND BLOOD!" Red eyes blazed as the thought of her complete and total loss filled her mind.
"I-it's alive…"
"HOW CAN STONE BE ALIVE?"
"Raven!" He squeaked. "You need to calm down! L-l-look what you're doing!"
Raven just glared at him. "I," everything in the air started to crack and break, "DON'T," the pieces that had just been made smaller broke, "CARE!" and the last of what was floating turned to powder. Raven shot off into the air, ignoring Beast Boy's calls. She just needed away from all of this. She was supposed to be the powerful one! She'd been the one whose power had stopped Trigon! She was the one who could destroy a whole planet! He should never have been able to beat her!
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Raven finally landed on the far northern side of the island where the mountain seemed to have partly fallen into the ocean. She just sat on the edge of the cliff watching the waves crash against the base of the rocks. She was so upset with herself. She had blown up at Beast Boy just because of losing a sparring game. He hadn't done anything wrong, in fact he had been really clever. She just didn't like the feeling of losing.
No, Anger doesn't like the feeling of losing, she thought. Anger would almost rather have died trying than lose. Bravery had told her so. Anger…she was the part of Raven that couldn't stand anyone or anything that could be linked to an unwanted emotion. Fear, loneliness, jealousy, worthlessness, pain, and anything else that any normal person avoids, Anger was the one who looked for some other place to put the blame. It was a way to avoid the hurt that came from opening yourself up and having someone not treat what they saw kindly. Raven lashed out at those who would prey on her insecurities.
What hurt most now was how bad she was yelling at herself in her head for acting like she did. She loved Beast Boy, why couldn't she have been happy for his victory?
Happy.
Happy isn't in place yet. Happy was the missing piece and now it just showed more than ever.
Raven understood what Beast Boy meant when he had said about how reaction was the real source for what we feel. The reason Happy could, and always would be happy was because she could accept everything that came. She could accept that sometimes, life tries its best to hurt you, and because she could accept the pain, she could also accept the joy. She was always happy because she was ready and willing to feel that way at all times. She accepted what her limitations were and looked at the best part of everything. A few tears clouded Raven's vision.
"I want that so badly…"
"You want what so badly?" Beast Boy asked as he sat down next to her.
Raven quickly wiped the tears from one of her eyes, but before she could get the other Beast Boy had raised an ungloved hand to her face. His palm rested softly against her cheek as his thumb lightly brushed the drops from under her eye.
"Please talk to me."
Her heart broke open at those words and a few more tears fell. She reached for him and hugged him for all she was worth. "Beast Boy, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to get so mad at you; I'm just struggling so badly right now. Please don't be mad at me. I'm sorry…I'm sorry."
He held her tightly as she silently sobbed on his shoulder. "It's OK, Raven. I know you weren't yourself. I love you no matter what. Don't ever forget that. No matter what." He kept his hold on her even after she had stopped her apologies and sobs. "What did you want so badly?"
Raven loved the warmth of being in Beast Boy's arms. She didn't want him to let go ever. She could fall asleep so easily like this. Which is why she barely heard his question. "Huh? What…what'd I want so bad?"
"Yeah."
"I…" The thought was bittersweet, sure it would eventually happen, but Raven wanted it now. "I was thinking about Happy. I want what she has, to be able to accept life for better or worse and focus on the best."
"Me too."
She turned to look at him. "What do you mean?"
"I can't do that either. At least part of you already can. It's what everyone should want. To enjoy life, not because you're ignoring the bad stuff, but because you can just accept it. That's really hard."
Raven nuzzled her head back against his shoulder. "I'll help you if you help me."
"Deal."
She felt him lightly kiss her cheek, which made her smile shyly. "How'd you find me?" She liked hearing him laugh, he always meant it when he laughed, he really wasn't mad.
"I can change into any kind of animal, and a lot of them have really good senses of smell." He rubbed her arm a few times. "You have a smell I could find anywhere…even in my room." He laughed again.
"So what do I smell like?" His laughter came again; he must have been counting on her asking.
"I always thought that if I ever got brave enough to actually check, that it would be something like violets or lavender. But you smell like passionflower and a soft chemically smell…and," he blushed a little, "you smell like you. There's something else in your scent I can't figure out. It's just…you. I think it's your skin. Whatever makes it always moon kissed probably makes it smell different. I like that smell best."
Raven was blushing a little too. "Well…the passionflower is my shampoo, the soft chemical smell is either my deodorant or my soap. I get the scentless stuff." She just didn't know how to thank someone for complimenting your natural odor.
Beast Boy laughed softly again. "What do I smell like?"
Raven laughed a little too. "Dirty laundry."
"Yeah…I, uh, need to do mine." He sat there holding her, waiting for a little while before asking what was nagging at his mind. "Hey, Rae?"
"Yeah?" She answered, a little sleepily.
"How come nothing else before now has been grabbed by your powers when your emotions have been going a little out of control?"
Raven reluctantly woke up more fully. "Because…well, OK. First, you have to remember that my emotions and my powers are linked."
"OK."
"I control my powers with my mind by concentrating. My emotions are like the batteries. When there's too much emotion I get a power surge and anything in my mind influences what my powers do. If I'm not concentrating hard enough for the level of emotion that wells up, my subconscious gets some control, and so do my emotions themselves. That's why Anger destroys stuff and Timid made that monster real."
"I can understand that. It's like why Cy and I always use a power strip for the gamestation, so that if there's too much juice it doesn't fry it."
"Right. Well…without Trigon messing around inside my head, I have a lot more control. So, when those surges come I've been able to hold the overflow back from releasing stuff. It's like unplugging the gamestation during a lightning storm. But, as more emotions got added, it got harder. Affection, Anger, and Happy have the largest amount of juice to offer. So, when they get added back it's a major jump in what I have to keep watch on. Affection pushed me pretty much to my limit, Anger pushed me over."
Beast Boy was listening closely so that he wouldn't get lost as she explained everything. "But…if Anger pushed you over the edge, what's gonna happen when Happy jumps in?"
Raven smiled sadly. "I don't know. I know that every time I've become whole it's like I could use or not use my powers like it was nothing, like no amount of emotion could overflow my powers. It's like having a bottomless pit to put them in and to pull them out of again when I need those batteries."
A small chuckle dropped out of his mouth. "It's kinda funny that we're using batteries and the gamestation to explain something about you."
"Yeah," she smiled, snuggling into him, "it is."
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The next day Raven felt better than she had in days. She was sure she would be able to rejoin with Happy in a week or less and she had slept great. She was just coming back into camp from her morning shower when she saw Beast Boy loading his stuff into boxes in a huff.
She walked worriedly over to him. "I thought you weren't mad."
He stopped abruptly what he was doing, finally noticing her. "I'm not mad, Rae!" He walked over to her and gave her a quick hug. "Well…I'm not mad at you. Robin called while you were…uhm, out. They're coming to pick us up."
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(A/N) You know, if I were to do my endnotes the way most fic authors I read do it would be something like this: Why is Robin calling Raven and Beast Boy back to the Tower early? Is something wrong? And will Raven be able to finish her training? You'll have to read the next chapter! Something like that, but I think that doing it that way is just a lame plea for people to keep reading the story by shoving it in their face how they just got a cliffhanger. Of course, by showing all of you my hypothetical lameness, I've effectively done the exact same thing. So…review…uhm, 'K?