A/N: Wow…So many awesome reviews! I can't believe you guys all liked my idea! –Snuggles- Heh, if things keep going like this half my story will be responses to all those lovely reviews!
Review Responses
GameCubeGirl1:) I thought it was an interesting idea as well. Don't worry, there'll be lots more to come!
Luciado: Wow, thanks! Don't worry, the thought of discontinuing hasn't even crossed my mind, torturing Kratos is far too much fun.
Katandshadow: O.O Whoa! Thank you A LOT. I noticed I didn't have much dialogue, and only a bit of humor, but hopefully this chapter will be better.
Origin89: Weird, yes. But best written? Wow…That's a really great compliment! Thank you so much!
Dominus Princeps: Heh… interesting, good choice of words! Thanks for the review.
satanic mechanic: hmm, I see why you would be skeptical, not many people can imagine Kratos as a kitten –chuckles- thanks for reviewing.
Fan Fan Girl: Wow… Thank you! Heh, Kratos will be giving into a lot of urges as a kitten (Ex. Running, hiding, sniffing catnip, randomly meowing, etc.)
Zodiac angel: I'm glad you liked it!
RavenGhost: Thanks for the review...Dun kill me!
Preseathepup: Glad you think it's kawaii.
Martel:) If the Goddess Martel told me to update, I guess I had to, didn't I?
ShadowSessMarlfox: Thanks for the cool review
Barbako: Wow, thank you!
KratosIsSoCool: Thank you for the review!
THANK YOU ALL FOR SUCH AWESOME REVIEWS!
And now… The disclaimer, with your host…
Today it'll be KRATOS!
Kratos: I hate the world…I hate Genis Sage… I HATE COLLARS WITH BELLS!
Me: That wasn't in your script.
Kratos: I QUIT!
Me: You can't, your contract…
Kratos: Screw the contract! –Attempts to rip-
Me: -.-;; it's laminated, stupid.
Kratos: Stupid… Shadow owns nothing but this plot!
Professor Severus Snape: -wanders in-
Kratos: You stupid wizard! Now I have to say 'Shadow doesn't own Snape either'.
Snape: -glare-
Kratos: -glare-
Snape: -glare-
Kratos: -glare-
me: This'll be going on for a while -.-;
Chapter 2: Bells, alley cats, and tutus.
Seven times… seven times Kratos had submitted to his kitten will and attacked the catnip ball. Seven times he had banged his head on something chasing after invisible mice, and birds.
Against his better judgement, the seraphim-gone-kitten was going for an eighth time when someone grabbed him around his middle and scooped him up. With a loud squall he tried to clamber away, until whoever was holding him smacked him on the head. 'Raine' he decided immediately, turning around to see not only the half-elven teacher, but also a tiny, pink, thing in her hand.
"Now, stand still." Raine scolded.
Kratos gulped but did what he was told, as stubborn as he was, when you were up against someone ten times your size, who wasn't intimidated? He watched her hand and the pink thing, approach his head, he cringed as something slipped over his ears and settled on his neck. He looked up to see Raine smiling down at him. "There." She announced. "You're lucky that one of my students had a cat collar, it even has a bell, so you can go outside."
Collar? Bell? Kratos leapt away and out a window, he peered into the pond and squeaked in fright, there, on his neck, was a fluffy, pink collar with a bell big enough to make his head look tiny in comparison. "No…Not a collar… Anything but a collar!" he wailed, running through the village until he found a puddle that looked suitable for what he needed to do.
Several minutes passed before a large, rather fat cat strutted over to find a kitten with its face buried in the puddle where he usually drank. "Hey!" the dirty, white cat ran over and prodded Kratos' shoulder. "Whatcha doin'?" He asked boldly.
"Trying to drown myself, what does it look like?" the kitten snarled, glaring at the older, larger cat.
The cat called Milo, blinked, then smirked. "It's hard ta find any kittens dat got spunk, nowadays." He observed.
Kratos was only partially aware that his tail was puffing out in annoyance. "Oh, shut up and get out of my way!" He hissed.
Milo gaped at Kratos and followed him, "Did you know dat you jus' told da toughest cat in da village ta shut up?" He demanded indignantly.
Kratos snarled and whirled around. "Did you know you are also the most uneducated, grammer abusing, FAT creature on this side of Symphonia?" He hissed.
Milo stared at him, then laughed. "Yougot guts, too!" He sped up to walk beside Kratos. Bad idea. With an angry squall, the kitten slammed his shoulder into Milo's side, sending the cat into a wall, or rather, through it, leaving an imprint.
"HAH!" Kratos couldn't help it, once again, his kitten will was strong enough to make him prance around the street, yelling insults and laughing loudly. "I did it!" he shouted, pouncing onto a fence and strutting along proudly.That is, until his paw slipped and he flew across the path, and skidded into Genis' shoes, as the half elf had been walking over to Colette's with some baked cookies.
He looked down and saw Kratos. "Hey, Fluffy!" He reached down and took that kitten in his other hand. "I'm going to see Colette, I'm sure she'd be happy to meet you, too!" As he began to walk off Kratos could do nothing but meow pitifully, "The chosen? Colette? I swear to Martel, that if Yuan ever wants to come down here, he'll be coming down as a nice, purple bunny rabbit!" He smirked at the thought of Yuan having to go through all of this, at least, he was smirking until they reached Colette's house and she practically squished him with snuggles.
"Oh! Genis! I have some old doll clothes that might fit him! He'd look so cute!" Colette ran to the kitchen and returned with a small knife, to cut holes in the clothes if she had to.
"Heh...Heh, don't worry Kratos, she's not going to stab you… deliberately." The kitten squeaked as his own attempt to console himself backfired and hescurried further into Genis' chest. He'd never seen a girl quite as clumsy as Colette, Martel came close, but at least she could stay on her feet for five minutes. Now, Genis was handing him over to that very same girl, armed with a bloody knife!
"Genis! Noo! Save me! PLEASE!" The once seraphim pleaded as Colette disappeared with him upstairs.
Genis sat down at the table just as Lloyd walked in. None of them really knocked; after all, they were best friends, right? "Hey, Genis." The swordsman greeted, "Where's that kitten, Noishe and it seemed to get along really well." As if on queue, Noishe walked in behind Lloyd, after they had returned from collecting the exspheres, the guards at the village had allowed the protozoan to enter the village whenever he liked, but only if he didn't break anything.
Genis sighed. "Apparently, Colette had some old doll clothes that would fit him." He explained.
Lloyd blinked. "Uh, Genis, Colette's doll are all girls…"
Noishe's eyes lit up and he barked in anticipation as Colette's bedroom door opened and she marched down, hiding something behind her back. "I couldn't find any boy clothes, but he was already wearing pink, so I thought he wouldn't mind this!" She revealed Kratos to them, and it took several seconds for the shock to sink in.
There, in the center of the room, held by Colette, was Kratos, wearing what appeared to be a ballerina tutu, complete with the bright pink bodysuit that was hooked on his shoulders. For the most part, he looked absolutely peeved, but when he spotted Noishe, it was replaced with shock, then embarrassment.
"What the hell did I ever do to you, Martel? How can you hold a grudge for four thousand years just because I sat between you and Yuan ONCE? One damned time! GAH!" He hid his face as Genis and Lloyd began roaring with laughter, and Noishe barked loudly. "Now you REALLY can't laugh at me anymore, can ya, Kratos?" The 'dog' chuckled.
With a loud hiss Kratos leapt onto Noishe's head and bit his ear. "Take it back!" he demanded angrily. "Take. It. Back!"
While Genis and Noishe cried out in fright, Lloyd laughed. "I can't believe Noishe is getting beat up by a cat in a tutu!"
Kratos paused in his attack on Noishe and flew at Lloyd, who let out a scream that sounded quite like a girl's "Get it off! Getitoff!" He ran in a circle while Kratos clung it his hair. Right now, the kitten wasn't in much of a 'forgive-him-because-he's-family' mood.
"Fluffy! Heel! Sit! NO!" Genis grabbed Kratos and dragged him away from Lloyd's hair. The kitten pouted moodily but made no further hisses.
"That…That cat is EVIL!" Lloyd exclaimed, reaching up and straightening his hair. "It tried to kill me!" He then paused, and started laughing.
Colette looked at Kratos with concern. "I'm sorry, little kitty, did I make you upset? I promise that I'll never do it again." She scooped up Kratos and began to scratch behind his ears, which started up that infernal purring again.
"Lloyd! Look! He's purring, maybe he does like it!" Colette squealed, snuggling Kratos tightly until he was forced to leap away. He spotted a window and chuckled, taking off towards it at a fast pace. "Freedom!" He cried, taking a massive leap and soaring straight into… a pane of glass.
"Owwwwww." Kratos groaned as he slid off the window and landed on his back. "Window…Smack…Gyaah!" He reached up and began swiping at his aching snout.
Noishe bent down and observed the once-angel with amusement. "Are you turning into a cat as well? I'm sure if you were a human you wouldn't go around breaking your nose on windows." He shrugged and backed away so Genis could run over and hug his fallen kitten. "Oh no! I'm so sorry Fluffy."
'Fluffy' however, was eyeing Noishe with contempt. "Shut up, Dog." He snarled as Genis opened the door and bade farewell to his friends. Kratos grinned, now there was no window to get in his way! He landed on his feet and charged through the village, until…
Wham.
Kratos stumbled backwards and looked up into the face of Milo, who was grinning almost demonically. "Hello…" He said in a sweet voice. His smile turned into a frown and he let out an angry squall and charged at the kitten.
Kratos froze, and his two wills clashed, his human side was screaming for him to fight, while his kitten side pleaded for him to run.
As usual, his kitten side prevailed and Kratos spun around and let out a squeal of terror as he dashed down the street and right into Raine's leg. In desperation, he clawed his way into her arms and snuggled against her arm, all the while scolding himself for being such a coward.
Raine jumped and eyed the cat in her arms, upon seeing his tutu; she struggled not to laugh. "I see you've met Colette?" She asked, and, since he couldn't really answer, she walked back towards the house, passing Milo as well, which gave Kratos a chance to stick out his tongue.
Back inside Raine and Genis' home, Kratos was given a massive, bone-crushing hug by the young half-elf. After playing with his catnip ball for a while, he decided to take a quick nap. Several hours later, Genis walked over to Kratos' side, and poked him, awaking the kitten from his 'short nap' he then gave him a bowl of hard, crunchy, cat food. "I know, yesterday you had to eat our food, but while you were gone, I got some stuff you'll like!"
Kratos wrinkled his nose in disgust, but took a hesitant bite. "Ugh! Blegh!" He spit it out and slunk under Raine's bed in disappointment. Genis shrugged and picked up the bowl. "I guess he wasn't hungry." He shrugged and jumped into his own bed. "G'night Raine." He said, turning onto his side and drifting off to sleep.
Raine sighed and looked under her bed, where Kratos was chasing after a dust bunny. She then watched in shock as the kitten stopped mid-pounce, and shook his head, almost like he was scolding himself or something. "Odd…" Raine reached under and grabbed him, pulling him out and frowning. "You remind me of Kratos, Fluffy." She said, flicking the fur that covered his eye away, only to have it return to its original position. "You remind me of him a lot." Kratos mewed pathetically. "It is me! IT IS! I swear to Martel! Come on, Raine! Use your brain!" He sighed in disappointment as she shrugged and placed him on her lap. "Here, I told Genis you probably wouldn't like that cat food, so I saved you some fish." Raine took several chunks of cod from her plate and fed them to Kratos, who wolfed them down without a second thought.
Raine stared at him and laughed quietly. "You must have been quite hungry." She observed, scratching his head. Kratos sighed, and began purring, though it was much quieter then before. Raine watched as his tiny face scrunched up in an effort to stop the noise. "Yes…You and Kratos are very similar, it seems both of you can't stand showing emotion." She smiled and put him on the floor and crawled into bed.
Meanwhile, on the floor, Kratos began to bang his head off to the floor, cursing in a variety of colorful languages, "How am I supposed to show emotion when every time I do something ends up happening as a result?" He paused, "Martel knows if I let myself act like a kitten, a comet'll crash into the house or something!" He shook his head and leapt onto Genis' bed, curling into the fluffy pillow he'd been given to sleep on.
"I wonder if I could make catnip for humans…" he thought, drifting off to sleep.
A/N: Chapter 2 Done.
This chapter wasn't incredibly funny, I know. Forgive me. Anyway, the next update may not be for a week or so, since I'm going camping and such.
Kratos: -glares at Snape- Eyes…watering…must not…lose
Snape: -glares at Kratos- Darn it…You're almost…As annoying as… Potter!
Kratos and Snape: -blink- YOU LOSE!
Kratos: did not!
Snape: did too!
Kratos did not!
Me: So, what d'you think, should Snape be my new disclaimer host? Or do you think someone else should do the honors?