Variations Of Pink
Chapter 12: Pink Fear
Last Revised: August 28, 2005
Summary: Sydney starts having multiple episodes in the same day and the nightmare she had starts coming true – she's hurting her friends. The final straw is when these out of control episodes hurt the one person she vowed never to hurt.
Rating: it's changed, M, for adult-themed situations.
Disclaimer: I don't own PR, Disney does
AN: Well, I've mapped out the rest of the story. There will only be three more chapters and the epilogue after this chapter. And trust me, a lot's gonna happen. Chapters are a little longer than the earlier ones, as you can probably tell from Chapter 11 – I had to break that into two parts or it would have been 18 pages long. I don't know about the rest of you, but sitting there writing it broke my butt and kinked my shoulders, so I can only imagine what it would have done to you, the readers, if I'd left it in original form.
AN2: I want to thank all of you for the support and encouragement looks over at BloomingViolets and smiles especially you, BV, who've been a constant encouragement during this. Whenever I finish a chapter, I look forward more to you and the others' reviews than I do to actually having a chapter finished. Our late night talks have been so much fun, and I hope they continue after I finish VP. Let the kidnappings commence! grins
AN3: There are 2 versions to this chapter, one posted for and the other posted on my site, which will be NC-17, aka MA, rated.
"Clarity is obtained when you can separate your sleep dreams, your fears, your fantasies and your reality." -- P.J. Varsalona –
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important." –- Princess Mia's, father's voice over in "The Princess Diaries" --
"Fear of self is the greatest of all terrors, the deepest of all dread, the commonest of all mistakes. From it grows failure. Because of it, life is a mockery. Out of it comes despair." -- David Seabury –
The thunder boomed and the lighting crashed outside, but inside the Collins household, all were safe and warm, and still very much asleep. In Sky's room, he and Sydney still lay curled together in the early hours of the morning as the storm raged outside. The Blue Ranger lay on his side, arms protectively shielding the petite woman in his arms from any harm that could come to her in the realm of sleep.
Unfortunately, Sydney's dreams had turned to nightmares and the comfort the embrace brought was blotted out as she saw the scene unfold in her subconscious.
Jack was sitting upright, his back against a wall, his Ranger suit gone. He almost looked like he was sleeping, until Sydney saw the pool of blood he sat in. Her eyes moved to the ground, where she saw the contents of his body strewn everywhere; his heart, his lungs, every vital organ. The mighty Red Ranger, leader of the Delta Squad, was dead.
Shuddering, Sydney spun away from the scene, tears welling in her eyes, and found herself staring in horror at what she found. The pile of bodies was almost undecipherable, and would be for anyone who didn't know who they were. Boom, Kat, Commander Cruger...the three of them lay in a heap, body parts missing, blood pooling around them. It looked like Cruger had tried to protect them, but Sydney saw it had been futile; Cruger still held tightly to his sword with one hand, and Kat's delicate hand in the other, even in death.
A quiet sob broke free, forcing the Pink Ranger to turn away from the Rangers' support team. What her eyes found broke her heart all over again. Bridge and Z were laying almost perpendicular to one another, arms outstretched and grasping the hand of the other. Their Ranger suits had dissipated, leaving them in their S.P.D. uniforms. Sydney could see that Z's neck had been broken at an odd angle, and Bridge had a gaping hole in his stomach. Even in death, the Green and Yellow Rangers had stood by one another.
Crying came now, in shuddering sobs as she spun around in all directions, her heart almost hoping that she wouldn't find the last person she was looking for, that he would be at headquarters, or at his parents' home, safe and sound and there to take away her fears and her hurt. Alas, it was more than could be hoped for when she spotted the blue fabric a few yards beyond Bridge and Z. The body it was attached to was bent and twisted in ugly directions, making him look like a rag doll instead of the proud warrior she'd known for a good portion of her life.
Her sobs wracked her body as she sprinted toward him. She was on her knees as soon as she reached his body, her hands reaching out to turn him over. She screamed then, heart wrenching sounds that pierced the stillness. "SKY! NO!"
His face was ashen and bloody. There was a wound that took up the better part of his chest. In fact, she could see through his chest, where his heart should have been. All four limbs were broken in various spots, and his head lulled when she lifted it to lay it in her lap. His hair was matted with blood.
And that's when Sydney saw her own clothes. She was covered head to toe in blood, THEIR blood. She shook her head in denial. How could she be covered in their blood when beyond her just touching Sky she hadn't touched any of them?
The answer dawned on her so viciously that it stole her breath away. She'd done this to them, had taken the lives of those she held dear to her, and she couldn't even remember it.
"No! No no no! NO!" she screamed, clutching Sky's torso to her own, her tears mixing with his dried blood as her heart shattered into a trillion pieces. "SKY!"
"SKY!"
Bolting upright, Syd screamed, cried, and struggled until she stumbled out of bed and onto the floor, gasping for breath. Gentle hands were soon smoothing back her hair, wiping away the tears, and pulling her into a warm embrace. She started hyperventilating until she heard the soothing voice.
"Sydney, honey, its okay," Jen soothed, holding the younger woman in her arms and rocking her back and forth. Sky was sitting on the floor on the other side of Syd, his eyes wide with concern and his body tense with wanting to hold her, but Jen's eyes told him to stay back for a few more moments.
Jen had been passing Sky's room and had decided to check on him and Sydney before she went back to bed. Just as she'd opened the door, the former Time Force Pink Ranger had heard Sydney screaming. When she'd gotten to her son and his girlfriend, she found Sky just sliding off the bed to pull Sydney into his arms, the current Pink Ranger obviously caught in the throes of a horrible dream.
"Sydney, what's wrong? What happened?"
"NO! I don't want to think about it! It was horrible! All the blood and the bodies! Please! Aunt Jen!"
Both Sky and Jen were startled by the old nickname. Jen moved so that she and Sky were sitting side by side, then she moved Sydney so that the younger woman was laying with her head in her lap and her body near Sky.,
"Sydney, honey, it was just a dream. There's no blood, no bodies. I promise, its okay," Jen murmured, stroking Sydney's hair from her face and wiping away the tears.
"I killed them, Aunt Jen. Whatever this thing Visvajita put inside of me is, it made me kill them."
Jen and Sky shared a look, not knowing what Sydney was talking about. "What are you talking about, Sydney?" Jen asked, carefully probing.
The half conscious Sydney shuddered. "The night in the alley, he had one of them kidnapped me. Whoever it was, he took me to their ship, injected me with something. Whatever that something is, it made me kill my friends. It made me kill Sky."
Jen nodded to her son, who moved forward and scooped Sydney up from Jen's lap, and then put her on the bed behind them as Jen struggled to her feet. "Stay with her, I'm going to call Kat and Commander Cruger."
Sky was at a total loss as to what to say or do. Deciding what Sydney needed now was the reassurance that he was alright, he climbed back into the bed with her and pulled her into his arms. "Sydney, I'm right here, I'm safe, you didn't hurt me," he whispered in her ear, stroking her arm and her back until he felt her body relax. "You could never hurt me, Syd, not unless you leave."
"Sky?" Blue met blue as Sky looked down at her. Slowly, their lips drifted closer and closer to one another until they were locked in a passionate embrace. Sky deliberately kept an ear open for his mother while he kissed Syd, just encase she came back quickly.
"Sky? Syd?" Wes called from the hallway before he entered. The two broke apart as the former Red Time Force Ranger entered. "Everything okay?"
"Syd remembered what happened to her the night before she came back to the academy. Mom went to call Kat to tell her. Hey Dad, tell her unless Kat wants us back immediately, just to leave it until later this morning. I'm gonna try to get Syd back to sleep."
Wes nodded and noticed Sky would have little trouble lulling the Pink Ranger back to sleep, she was already three quarters of the way there. "You got it. Goodnight."
"Night."
Sky lay awake for a long time after Sydney had gone back to sleep. He was angry that this could happen to her, angry that he couldn't have prevented it or stop it from hurting her now.
"Sky?" At the sound of his name, the Blue Ranger looked down and saw Syd looking up at him, her face a mask of vulnerability.
"What's wrong, Syd?" he murmured his question. Sydney yawned and snuggled closer to him.
"Will you do me a favor?" Syd asked, her voice light and almost dreamy.
"What?"
"Make love to me," she suggested, leaning up to kiss him.
Sky was startled by her request, so much so that when she kissed him, rational thought seemed to come to a screeching halt.
"Sydney," he started, trying to pull back. "I don't think that's the answer here."
Syd pouted and felt her heart drop out on her. All she wanted was to be reassured she hadn't scared him into not wanting to be with her anymore, and his comment only seemed to reinforce her thoughts that he didn't, in fact, want to be in a relationship with her.
Sky was surprised at how fast she recoiled form him, forcing herself off his bed. Quickly, Sydney searched for her clothes, donning them and her shoes faster than Sky thought she was possible of moving.
"Where the hell are you going?" Sky barked, bounding off the bed and halting Syd's trek out the door.
"Back to the academy, where I belong," Sydney spat at him angrily, waiting with arms crossed over her chest for him to move out of the way so she could leave.
"Wait a damn minute!" he seethed. "What the hell has gotten into you all of a sudden?"
"Look, you made it abundantly clear you want nothing to do with me after what happened a little bit ago. I'm going back to the academy where I'll be out of your way."
Sky watched her for a moment; saw that she was choking back tears. While he wanted to hold her, he needed to get his next thought off his chest. "All this because I told you I didn't think sex was the answer?"
"No, because you basically just told me you didn't want me, and after this morning, I can't blame you!" she cried brokenly.
Sky moved at a speed Sydney had never seen him use before. It took the Pink Ranger about ten seconds to realize her boyfriend had her pinned against his bedroom door and was kissing her senseless.
Confused, panicked, and surprised, Sydney didn't know how to react. And then she felt Sky take her limp hand and place it on the growing bulge in his boxers. Reflexively, Syd's fingers curled around her boyfriend's hardness in wonder.
"Sydney," he breathed out heavily, moving to bury his face in her neck, hoping to regain his composure. "Does it feel like I don't want you? The last two weeks have been torture for me, not being able to hold you like I want to. And let's not talk about what seeing you tonight in an old t-shirt and your panties just about did me in."
The Pink Ranger nuzzled her face against Sky's cheek, her hand still firmly grasping him. "I'm sorry, I'm just..."
Sky bit her neck gently, cutting off her thoughts; his hand moved from her wrist to what he had thought was her shoulder. When she moaned and arched against him, Sky realized he'd cupped her breast instead. "Syd, you'd better tell me to stop, or the gag gift Jack put in my tuxedo pants is going to get used."
Sydney could only moan in response. "I don't want you to stop," she hissed between clenched teeth. She wanted to feel safe, secure, wanted, but most of all, she wanted to be reassured that he still loved her, despite her dreams.
Sky's control snapped in that instant. Sydney was gasping when he reached around her and locked his door, then scooped her into his arms and strode toward his bed.
Tossing Syd on his bed, Sky grinned wolfishly when she giggled. "You Tarzan, me Jane all of a sudden?" Syd queried, her question ending with a gasp of pleasure.
"Remember, you started this," Sky grumbled, climbing onto the bed and hovering over her. Sydney lay back, her elbows propping her up.
"Just don't rip my dress, it cost a fortune," she told him seriously before they both broke out smiling.
Sky's lips swiftly descended to hers, effectively quieting her chatter. When Sydney purred in the back of her throat, making him shudder.
The Pink Ranger felt him settle against her, felt the bulge rub against her stomach as they shifted against one another, and nearly lost it then and there. "Sky, stop teasing," she gasped, shuddering.
Moving away from her lips, Sky began kissing a path down her neck to her collar bone and then across to each shoulder before he moved back up the column of her throat. While he was kissing her, Sky let his free hand move up and down her torso, until it came to rest under her left breast, which he tentatively cupped in his strong hand.
"Sky!" Syd squeaked.
"Yes?"
The Pink Ranger saw the smirk her boyfriend was giving her as he lifted his head and nearly melted into a puddle of goo right then and there. "You're teasing."
Sky chuckled. "Am I really? Didn't we already establish you were the one that started this?"
Syd merely pouted at him. "Maybe."
"Then I suggest you lay back and enjoy." With that, Sky bent his head and began to torture his girlfriend through the fabric of her dress.
Carefully, Sky moved his hand to the side zipper and began to move it down until Sydney's creamy skin was revealed to his eyes. Syd shivered slightly from the chill, but remained still.
"I've always wondered what you'd look like in a bikini," Sky murmured. "I think your bra and panties will give me a good enough visual."
"Then would you hurry up and get this damn dress off of me!" Syd breathlessly told him, causing Sky to chuckle at her again.
"Patience, Syd, patience."
"SKY!" she fumed, pouting, and wrapped her arms up around his neck, hoping to pull him closer.
The dress was off and on the floor in less than thirty seconds, followed by her sandals, leaving her in just her strapless bra and bikini style panties. Sydney looked up through her lashes and saw Sky looking at her in awe and wonder.
"Sky, can I ask you something."
"Hmm?"
"Have you ever been with a girl before?"
Sydney's question made his heart thump wildly. Just from the tone of her voice when she asked, Sky guessed this was her first time too.
"You're the first."
The Blue Ranger watched her turn up the voltage on her megawatt smile. "Syd?"
"You're my first too, Sky," Sydney gave him back, making him smile widely.
Reaching forward while balancing himself on one arm, Sky lightly skimmed his fingertips over her stomach, up over her breast bone, and then he reached up and cupped her cheek.
"Are you sure about this?"
Sydney nodded. "Sky, please, make love to me."
Sky nodded and kissed her.
"Sky, I love you."
The world seemed to freeze for a second around the two lovers, blotting out everything but each other and the intense pleasure they had just shared.
The Blue Ranger collapsed on top of his girlfriend, burying his face in her neck, while Sydney wrapped her arms under his and held onto his shoulder blades, hugging him to her. They were both panting and struggling to breath. Sky moved to roll off of Sydney, which caused her to whimper at the loss of his warmth as he moved away from her. Hopping off the bed, Sky moved to his trash can and tossed away what he needed to before he climbed back in bed with Sydney and pulled her to lay against his side.
"I love you, Sydney, more than you will ever know," he whispered into her hair, caressing her arm with his thumb. "Thank you."
Syd smiled up at him, her head resting on his shoulder. "Thank you, for making my first time extra special."
Slowly, the two of them drifted off to sleep, wrapped in each other's arms.
Z was the first to see her two teammates as they walked into the Command Center at the Academy. Sky held Syd's hand while the Pink Ranger practically skipped next to her seemingly relaxed boyfriend.
Jack snickered and leaned over so that he was close to Z. "Someone got laid."
The Yellow Ranger choked on her laughter, causing Commander Cruger, Bridge, Sky and Syd to give her questionable looks. "Cadet Delgado, are you alright?" Commander Cruger asked, though his sensitive hearing had picked up what Jack had said, and he too, wondered if the Red Ranger's comments weren't right on.
"I'm find Commander, had a tickle in my throat," Z covered, nudging Bridge in the ribs, which caused the Green Ranger to nod and pat her on the back.
"Looks like you two slept well," Jack teased. Even in the dim light of the Command Center, the Blue and Pink Rangers blushed.
"Enough Cadets. Kat has the latest battle analysis; I'd like to go over it before I send you to the simulator."
"FIRE!" Z called as she and Sydney somersaulted on the floor, coming to rest on one knee, each of them firing their blasters. Unfortunately, Syd wasn't as steady as she would have liked and her shot went wide, allowing the monster they were facing to get a shot in at Z, which hit the Yellow Rangers shoulder and knocked her back.
Sydney was on her feet and charging the criminal in a matter of seconds. She managed to slip her hand into her pocket and grabbed onto the tiny piece of metal there. "FIST OF IRON!"
The Pink Ranger hit the monster, sending it flying, just as Kat ended the simulation. "Z, are you alright?" Kat asked, walking onto the scene.
The yellow clad cadet was pushing herself up, her shoulder throbbing. Since Visvajita had shown up, they'd been using live rounds in the simulators.
"If Sydney hadn't missed her shot, I'd be fine," Z grumbled.
"If you had been hiding your body a bit better, Boom never would have been able to nail you!" Syd rounded on her friend. "He's a terrible shot as is, it's not my fault you didn't duck in time."
"Listen here, Princess, you're supposed to be covering my back, not letting me get hurt!" Z argued, not sure what the hell was happening between her and Sydney. The entire situation was almost like it would have been when Z had first come to the academy.
"GET THE FUCK OVER IT!" Syd raged, her vision blurring. "It's not like you haven't let me take hits out there before, when it's been life or death!"
Kat, Z and Boom, who was finished cowering in the corner, looked at one another as the Pink Ranger stalked out of the simulator. "What the hell just happened?" Z muttered.
"I don't know, but I'm going to find out. First of all, let's get you to the infirmary and get that shoulder checked out. Boom, go get Commander Cruger and tell him I need to speak with him immediately."
Boom nodded and bounded off while Kat helped Z to the infirmary.
"Cadet Drew!" Commander Cruger yelled at Sydney's retreating back. Since the incident with Z, Kat and Boom earlier in the morning, Sydney had been on a war path with each of them.
She'd corned Bridge in the common room, nearly breaking his hand when he'd attempted to pat her on the back, and just now, she'd had a screaming match with Jack in the Command Center in full view of the younger cadets.
Anubis was starting to see the shell Sydney held around herself crack with the fatigue. She hadn't heeded his call, but had simply run from the room, her sobs echoing through the hallways.
"Commander, we got here as soon as we could!" Sky called as he, Bridge, Z and Kat raced into the room.
"Cadets, we have a serious problem," Cruger started, taking a few moments while the Rangers and Kat looked on to gather his thoughts. "Cadet Drew has seriously injured two of you, and had verbal altercations with three out of four of you. I believe it's time to remove her from active duty."
Z, Bridge and Jack looked grim but resigned to Cruger's decision. Kat remained neutral, knowing her opinion wouldn't matter when it came to the final decision – that was left completely up to the Rangers themselves. Sky looked downright crushed by Cruger's words.
"But Commander, you said her powers would be the key to saving her!" Sky protested.
"That may be true, Cadet Tate, but at this point in time, her actions are becoming erratic and out of control. I will not have her hurting any of you further, regardless of the fact that she's one of my prized students, and almost like a daughter to me. Your safety, the safety of Earth, and most importantly, Syd's personal safety come first," Cruger told him, knowing the look in Sky's eyes; the Blue Ranger felt betrayed. "I leave the final vote up to the four of you."
Sky saw that he was out numbered in the decision, so he glared at each of them and set his lips in a thin line. "Then I'll be the one to tell her." With that said Sky turned around and stormed out of the command center.
The Blue Ranger had searched the entire academy and had no luck finding his girlfriend and teammate anywhere. That was, until he stumbled across Boom, who was tuning up RIC. "Hey Boom, have you seen Sydney?"
The blonde haired gadget man shuddered and stuttered. "Sh-he...s-s-said she w-wa-was going to the beach!"
Sky smiled. "Thanks Boom."
Turning from Boom, Sky took off at warp speed down the hallway and into the elevator then down to the garage, where he hopped on his motorcycle and headed for Sydney's favorite quiet spot outside of the academy.
For an instant, Sky was struck at how tiny she really was, as he watched her hug herself and stare out into the ocean. He approached her carefully, not wanting to startle her, and berated himself because he knew he also treaded lightly so as not to have her turn on him in anger as she had the others.
"I guess you drew the short straw, huh?" she asked when she felt him come to a stop next to her. Her eyes were full of tears, her cheeks were covered in salty track marks, and her lower lip quivered.
"No, I volunteered."
Sydney nodded. She was hurting, in more ways and to more degrees than even Sky would ever be able to understand. It felt like her world was spinning out of control. She knew she could deal with anything that came her way; she was a tough, capable woman who came from a long line, both hereditarily and environmentally, of capable, strong women. Her biggest downfall was when someone she loved got hurt, not by just anyone, but by her own self. She knew she'd physically hurt both Z and Bridge that morning, and had Jack and the Commander emotionally.
"He's taking me off active duty, isn't he?"
"Yes." Sky wanted nothing more than to lie to her, but for her sake, and his, he couldn't; Sydney deserved the truth. Stepping closer, Sky attempted to hug Sydney, only to have her whip her arm out at him, nailing him in the ribs, and causing him to hit his knees.
"Oh God, Sky!" she cried out, realizing what she'd done, if unintentionally.
"I'm okay; you only caught me by surprise."
Seeing him sitting there, on his knees, clutching his left side, was more than Sydney could take. Her head started shaking back and forth, the tears coming faster now as she started sobbing.
"Syd!" he called after her when she ran from him, forcing her legs to go faster than they'd ever gone before. "SYDNEY!"
"You wanted to speak with me?" Cruger asked as he strode into the infirmary, where Kat was sitting at a computer, staring at the screen in utter disbelief.
"Yes. Doggie, I've been running tests on the Rangers, on Sydney in particular."
"And?" Anubis' back stiffened at the mention of the missing Pink Ranger. Sky had come back to the Academy earlier that afternoon, had told them what happened, and when the Rangers had attempted to find their pink teammate, they'd found a note on Sky's bed, in Syd's curing handing writing. It seemed the Pink Ranger had run away without so much as a word to anyone, just a goodbye note to her boyfriend.
"Well, I found traces of metal and chemicals in Sydney's chest. When I cross referenced them with scans I'd done on her before this mess started, I noticed that those metals and chemicals hadn't been there before."
"Could this be why she's been having these episodes, Kat?"
"I think so, but until I can run a complete analysis, I can't be sure. There's more."
Anubis turned his large eyes to Kat's, and watched the tears well up in her greenish-yellow eyes. "What?"
"Syd's pregnant."
Cruger looked shocked. "But her and Sky...only last night..." Cruger stuttered for the first time in his life. He and Sky had spoken about the Blue and Pink Rangers' nighttime activities shortly after he'd excused the other four Rangers upon Sky and Syd's return to base from Sky's parents' house.
"I can't be a hundred percent sure there either, until I run more tests. I tried tracking her morpher, but it seems the tracking system's being jammed by something."
"Or someone."