Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece, but I do own this floppy….

NC: heeeeeeeey, how's it going, sorry it took a while, but I've been working on a few fic's, and the TAKS didn't help, yah sorry, but I'm here now, thank you all for your reviews this is really fun for me! IM AT 60! Wee-hoo, I've never had that many reviews before, this rox! Oh yah, i didint look over this when i posted it, so if theres mistakes, find it in your heart to forgive me... Now for all you Sanji fans out there, here's your chapter….

Down with the Dubbed

Chapter 5.

Larry sat in his office waiting for his next client. This wasn't the first time Larry Fittersworth dealt with Sanji, no, Sanji had been there before. About a month before One Piece's appearance, Sanji learned that his trademark cigarette was replaced with a lollypop. Sanji was the one who learned of the complaint department, and was the first to visit it. At first there were no problems dealing with him, because of the fact that Larry lied his way out, Sanji sadly believing him.

But now Sanji was back, and he was as mad as hell. The door slowly swung open and in walked the chef of the straw at pirates.

"Um hello…S-Sanji" Larry nervously stuttered trying to break the silence. Sanji said nothing. Larry expected Sanji to be furious, yelling, and destroying everything in his path, but he appeared calm, dark, and silent. After experiencing a dark silent Sanji, he would much rather prefer a yelling one.

Sanji walked toward the chair provided and sat down, crossing his arms and placing his feet on top of the desk. Larry was drenched in sweat at this point trying to think of what to do.

"So, um, Sanji… what do you need?" instead of giving an answer Sanji pulled out a pack of cigarettes, gently slipping one out of the packet. He lit it so fast you didn't see the lighter. Sanji didn't smoke it just yet though, it stayed in between his fingers for later.

"You know why I'm here Fittersworth" he darkly answered. His eyes, or well, eye, focused on the employee before him. Larry became quiet nervous of the death glare Sanji was giving him. "Why else would I be here?"

"Um… well, I-" Larry nervously started before Sanji interrupted.

"Stop beating around the bush, you screwed up One Piece and lied to me, I'm not very happy with either one"

"If this is about the smoking thing then-" in that moment the dark silent Sanji left and the yelling one came in.

"I'm well over 18, I can smoke if I want to!" he said pulling the cigarette out in front of Larry and blowing a puff in his face. "Are the cop's after me? No! Why? Cause I can! Cause I'm over 18!" Sanji inhaled the cigarette before speaking again. Larry poked his head out from under his desk to answer Sanji's question.

"We don't want to encourage kids to smoke"

"Bullshit, I don't have 'Start smoking' written in huge bold print on my forehead, and if that's the case, you're telling me any time a kid sees a cigarette, they get the sudden urge to want to smoke? Bull. Shit. Disney movies have characters who smoke if they get to why cant I!"

"Were not Disney-" Larry tried justifying himself but Sanji wouldn't let him.

"Your right, Disney's cooler than your evil power crazy dubbing bastards!"

"Sanji, please listen to me" Sanji gave an annoyed sigh seeing the plea in Larry's eyes.

"Ok, I know you all don't want to encourage kids to smoke, but unfortunately, half the kids that watch this probably have moms, dads, siblings, uncles, aunts, and friends that smoke, hell most of the kids that watch this probably smoke to. My only question is why a lollypop, I mean do you do that to every anime character that smokes or did you just do that to me? Cause Jean Havoc from Full Metal Alchemist got to keep his cigarette!"

"We don't own Jean Havoc, we own you" Larry tried to sound tough but Sanji could see through that disguise.

"So that gives you the power to go changing everything Oda-sensei worked so hard to make!" Larry sulked in his chair feeling just a tad bit guilty. "And a little off subject here but what the hell is the deal with calling the marines the navy, is there a difference!" Sanji began to yell.

"Uh, Sanji" Larry nervously tried to get Sanji's attention as he paced around the room.

"What!" Sanji yelled as Larry winced.

"Uh… Zoro already complained a-about that" Sanji's face expression changed.

"Oh ok…" He scratched his head trying to remember the list in his mind. "You guys won't let anyone die! I mean it's a bad thing but sometimes it's good cause it helps characters develop and-"

"He complained about that to…." Sanji gave an annoyed sigh while putting his cigarette out on a few papers on Larry's desk.

"The theme song?"

"Yep"

"The horrible voices?"

"Yep"

"The over edits of blood and violence?"

"Yep"

"Damn that damned swordsman he got everything first, greedy bastard." He complained pulling out a lighter, lighting a new cigarette, ignoring the no smoking sign plastered on the door.

"Uh Sanji there's no smo-" Sanji gave Larry a death glare before he could finish his sentence. "Uh…never mind"

"Ok, ok I got it, Pearl! What's with his "surfer dude" voice, I mean are you all trying to make characters kid worthy, speaking of that why? Why make it for kids, if you have to edit it that much-"

"Um Nami made that statement"

"Damn it! Anyways let's dwell on that, you all are just too crazy with your edits, I mean why, is it to protect the minds of the kids in the world! Is that the same answer for edit of cuss words, I mean really, crud, darn you, half the kids who watch this probably know and hear worse on a daily basis, hell they probably say e'm. Blood as well. This isn't the only show kid's watch. I'm sure shows of blood and gore are on their TV list, not to mention movies and videogames. Lyra's cousin is a pro at that game Grand Theft Auto and he's freaking seven years old, what does he do on that game? He kills people with sniper guns, right?" Sanji said looking at the author in the back of the room for reassurance.

"Its true, blood lots a blood" Lyra nodded. Larry wondered how long the girl with the laptop had been in his office typing away when Sanji looked back at him.

"Violence is apart of life whether we want it there or not, I understand what your trying to do, but sheltering them by over editing anime meant for teenagers to try to provide them with some "clean" entertainment isn't a smart way to go, that's what Barney and that freaking boring blue octopus is for"

"They don't show Oswald anymore"

"Hell I don't blame e'm, now the main reason I'm here" Sanji paused, "My voice, I sound like Rocky and the damn godfather freaking fused together or something!" he yelled making Larry cower more than he already was.

"Hey, careful Sanji there could be godfather fans reading this" Lyra yelled from her computer.

"Ok, ok, sorry, but you know what I mean, we all sound like the mob, me, Carne, Patty, and Zef, ok, no, wait, I don't sound like the godfather Zef does, I sound like I'm holding my nose, or sick or something! Why give me a horrible voice, you gave Zoro an alright voice!"

"Hey your voice wasn't our fault! Zoro paid us to make it crappy!" Larry confessed. Sanji stood in silence.

"Bastard…. Anyway ill get him back…" Sanji then remembered something. "All Blue" he whispered.

"What?" Larry heard the whisper but didn't hear what the exact words were.

"You renamed All Blue, The Great Blue, why?" Sanji's tone of voice had changed. It was more confused, sad, and serious then usual.

"What's the difference it's just a name?" big mistake.

"You son of a-" Sanji swung his foot around stopping a few inches from Larry's head. His foot was lifted as if he was going to step on Larry. Larry made a mental note to himself, don't make an already angry cook angrier by taking light of his dream. "If I can kick a metal ship across the ocean, imagine what I could do to someone up close!"

"AHHH! NO! NO PLEASE DON'T! ILL DO ANYTHING!" Larry screamed like a girl. Sanji's curly eyebrow went up with interest.

"Anything?" he curiously asked.

"Y-yes"

"Fix everything you've messed up in One Piece!" he demanded.

"I can't do that" Sanji's shoe only had to go 3 centimeters closer to Larry's face before he decided to change his mind. "AHHHHGGG! OK OK! Ill try to unedited it, I got it, well allow Cartoon Network to show it, with a little less editing, please I promise!" Sanji lowered his leg a little thinking of the deal that was just presented.

"Promise?" Sanji asked in a monotone voice.

"I promise, ill make the deal right after you leave if you like, sooner than that if needed, just don't kill me please!" Sanji tried keeping a serious face but couldn't help but smile at how idiotic this guy was being.

"Could you try to get me a new voice?" Sanji asked in hopes of saving the American version of himself.

"Ill try but can't make any promises" Sanji knew that was the best he could get. There was no way the ENC would change what they had, voice wise.

"Alright I won't step on you" Sanji put his foot firmly on the ground assuring Larry no harm would be done to him.

"Thank you Sanji!" Larry got up from his current position and retreated back to his desk.

Sanji knew his time was up when he heard the bell rang. He saw no need to stay. Everything he wanted to say was said. Everything he wanted to do was done. "Well Larry, thanks for listening and doing what you could, appreciate it" in a cool, smooth fashion Sanji turned to walk out the door. Larry was surprised he didn't give him trouble like the other three, but the surprise didn't last long.

"Oh yah I forgot" Sanji turned from his position facing Larry. "Poison suction cups? God you guys are retarded" Sanji exited the office hearing a sigh of relief escape Larry's lips.

"One more thing" Sanji walked back in the room pulling out a check book. "I'll give you one million berries to change Zoro's name to Zolo in all the manga's" Sanji placed the check on the table. The deal that would make every Zoro fan hate Sanji if they ever found out.

"Um…. deal?" Larry took the check as Sanji began walking out, again. Larry looked up to see he was indeed gone. Before taking a sigh of relief the absent minded cook entered the room once again.

"Oh yah I forgot something" Larry jumped back somewhat expecting that to happen. Sanji made eye level with Larry before speaking. "IF YOU MESS UP MY PRECIOUS NAMI-SAN'S STORY PLOT ILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND SLOWLY TORTURE YOU TO A POINT OF INSANITY BY FOOD POISONING OR SOMETHING ELSE FREAKISHLY INHUMANE!" With that, Sanji left the room while Larry almost died of a heart attack, lucky for him paramedics were nearby with a defibrillator.

"So Kojak, how'd it go?" Zoro calming yet sarcastically asked as Sanji walked back to his fellow crewmates. Sanji slowly walked up to Zoro, lifted his foot and pushed him to the side. Zoro lost his balance fell to the floor. "What the hell did you do that for?" Zoro yelled from the ground as Sanji took his seat next to Nami. He lit a new cigarette before speaking.

"How many berries did you pay them to change my voice!" he yelled in the direction of where Zoro fell.

"Berries? What the f#ck are you talking about?"

"Larry told me that you paid them to make my voice crappy!"

"This is my first time here I haven't paid anyone anything!" Zoro yelled back trying to flip himself over. Sanji paused trying to figure out the situation.

"Damn it! Larry did it to me again!" Sanji yelled balling his fists on his knees.

'Sucker' Zoro thought. "Well looks like your hairs killing off your brain cells, stupid blonde"

"Shut the hell up you damn swordsman" Sanji threw his lit cigarette on Zoro. Unfortunately, Zoro's straitjacket was flammable.

"You bastard!" Zoro yelled rolling around the floor trying to put out the flame.

"Hey so whose next!" Luffy eagerly broke the awkward situation.

"I am of course!" Ussop said standing up.

"Oh yah, don't be scared ok Ussop" Luffy reassured Ussop for encouragement, but Ussop took it to offense.

"Hey! What's that suppose to mean! He's just some office guy, besides I'm the brave Capt-" Ussop started before Sanji interrupted.

"Ok, shut the hell up and get your ass in that office!" Sanji kicked Ussop in the rear, sending him flying into the office with a crash.

"Sanji that wasn't nice" Luffy softly scolded Sanji, who didn't seem to care.

"Oh Sanji…" Sanji looked up seeing Zoro untied. The bands that held Zoro together were burned off by Sanji's cigarette. And for Angie-chan, Zoro's shirt partially burnt off due to the flame, revealing some of the swordsman's built body. Luffy sat in a corner while the two came face to face. Nami sighed and buried her head in a map she was working on.

"Why the hell did you do that!" Zoro yelled.

"Why the hell else? You called me a stupid blonde!" Sanji yelled back.

"Is it my fault you are one!"

What Sanji and Zoro didn't understand was the map Nami was working on was very important. One miscalculation would throw the entire map into ruin. A map like this needed complete silence to work on, and well, she wasn't getting that with these two fighting.

"All you do is flirt with Nami and cook!"

"Well all you do is sitting on your ass and sleep!" the other animated character in the room nervously watched from a distance as Sanji and Zoro's yelling got louder.

"Well you're cooking sucks!" after a few months of spending time with Sanji, Zoro knew what would piss him off.

"You son of a bitch!" Sanji tackled Zoro to the floor as they began senselessly beating each other. The guards would have intervened but they had seen what Zoro and Sanji had done to Larry and they didn't want to take any chances. Luffy was just happy Zoro's swords were on the other side of the room. The sound of the two 'grown men' fighting made one vein pop out of the side of Nami's head.

"If you weren't such a prissy ass cook maybe we wouldn't have arguments like this!"

Two veins.

"Lazy ass swordsman!"

Three.

"Prissy cook!"

Four.

"You guys sound like a married couple" Luffy joked.

"Shut up!" they yelled at the same time. Due to her anger Nami put to much pressure on the pencil she was writing with. The tip of the led snapped off. That was the last straw.

"WOULD YOU ALL STOP ACTING LIKE CHILDREN! DAMN! THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING! NOW I GOTTA FIND A SHARPENER!" Nami took Sanji's ear in one hand and Zoro's in the other and led them to where she was sitting.

"Agh, Nami you bitch let go of my ear!" Zoro cursed.

"My precious Nami-san is holding my ear, oww" She threw them both onto two seats separated by one chair. She sat in the middle. An awkward silence filled the room for a while.

"Sanji did you get meat?"

End….for now….

NC: (sorry had to delete replies) I don't know when ill get Ussop's chap up, due to the fact that school will soon be ending and I have no comp at home, ill try my hardest guys, I promise you, I'm jus going thru some stuff right now, but ill be back…I swear to you….

Lyra