A Place Of Her Own
Chapter 15: Leave-takings.
A/N: Am in the middle of my exams, so don't you dare mention the fact that I've started doing this at near-midnight with a Geography exam in the morning. Fellowship was on TV tonight (with ads, no less) so I watched a bit and thought, hang on, I have a… oh crap! And so, without any further ado, I give you the fifteenth chapter.
…
And I continue this on the 28th December…::shakes head woefully::
Title: A Place Of Her Own
Chapter: Night Prior
Rating: PG-13
Summary (for the chapter this time): Natalie has to say goodbye, but it's difficult to say it to everyone. Why is it happening so quickly?
Nat stared after Iluvion for a moment before pulling herself together.
Getting dressed quickly, she ran downstairs and into the kitchens to take a few rolls and some cheese before moving quickly down into the archery fields.
Drawing the bow, she brought it up to her cheek and held the pose before a heavy hand pushed her shoulder down and twisted her elbow.
"Not like that, don't forget that your arm needs to be aligned so… no, not like that…"
Nat adjusted accordingly and held the pose again, it was much more uncomfortable than before the alterations had been made.
"Hmm, you'll have to do, I suppose. I hope you're better with those knives at your belt than that bow in your hands or we may get into some trouble."
She turned to look at the man she had thought was Elrohir but he was already walking away.
"Hey! Don't walk away from me like that, a total stranger!"
The man stopped and turned dramatically, flicking his hair behind him so that Nat could get a good look at his face.
"Not necessarily a total stranger… but you are right, I am Alex and you should be more careful with who you let near you."
Nat blinked once, twice then took a step forward but by that time Alex had disappeared into the underbrush.
Nat scowled heavily and looked back up the path in case he reappeared but all she could see was her brother leading a horse back towards the courtyard and Boromir moving towards her, mopping his brow and brushing down his muddied pants.
"Nat!" he called, surprised to see her up.
Nat let out a shy smile as Boromir came up beside her.
"Taking care of my brother, were you?" she asked as she tried to draw her bow once more.
"Well, the fact that you barely trust anyone else, I was more or less stuck with him." Boromir lifted her arm slightly.
Nat adjusted herself to the new posture and was almost immediately corrected once more.
"I'm never going to get the right," she sighed, frustrated at her ineptitude, "Why couldn't I be a natural at this? Or at least the talent those hobbits manage to have."
She looked wistfully over the archery fields. In the distance, the Prince of Mirkwood, Legolas was practising his own form, though it was starkly different to Nat's practice as he was able to shoot at the targets and hit the bullseye every single time.
"Why don't you have a rest for a while and tell me about this little trip you are hoping to take with this Alex."
"You know of it? Does Thom know?" Nat sounded genuinely surprised that Boromir knew and for some reason, it hurt him.
"Yes and no, respectively. I can't say I trust the man though he has earned himself the title of Ranger."
"I don't care if you trust him or not, Boromir. Hell, I barely trust him myself. But he is the only way I can get away from this place."
"Why would you wish to do that, Natalie? I thought you were content to be here. You have the company, surely. As well as your brother. He is happy. You have everything you could possibly ever want here."
"Please, Boromir. Don't push me there."
Boromir said nothing, only watched Natalie struggle with her inner feelings.
"I'm so confused, Boromir. And I'm never going to be able to figure all of this out until I can lose myself and my past." The girl took a deep breath before continuing.
"My past is my family and I don't think I can bare them anymore. I love Thom, I truly do… but I can't stay here and watch as he learns to trust my father again. My father has changed from what he once was. But I knew him to well then and I cannot forget it."
"Cannot?"
"Cannot, will not - It makes no difference now. I know that Elrond believes that I will not accept my father at all but I am and that's what scares me and pushes me away from him even further. I trust my instincts and all my life they have kept me safe. All my life they told me to never get too close to my father and now everything is different. I don't know what to think."
Twilight was beginning to set in, and a cold breeze swept through the valley. Elves were slowly dispersing from the field and the trees seemed to lean in closer as the stars emerged.
"Stay, Natalie. Please."
Nat continued to stare determinedly into the distance, refusing to look at Boromir beside her.
"The Fellowship leaves in days and I do not know of when or if I will return. I would like to spend as much time with you as possible."
"You will return," Nat told him, but it was as much for her than for his benefit, "And I shall be leaving tomorrow."
"Then in case I do not see you again… I want you to know that you have become like the little sister I never had. And if something should happen to you…"
Nat blushed deeply and cut him off.
"Stop it. You know you don't mean it and you know that I don't take it seriously. So please stop it before one of us does take it seriously."
Boromir stood so suddenly that Natalie reflected for a moment on what she had just said and was acutely aware of how closely she may have insulted a man who had come to be the only other person she had been able to trust implicitly in this mad world.
"Boromir? I –"
"No, you're right. I'll see you at the feast."
"Boromir, I'm sorry… I've been so used to people joking around with me that I never thought…"
"Stop it," he said flatly, reusing her words and in his eyes completing the rest of the tirade. How could she have so flatly refused him? Dismissed him? He felt hurt and detached.
Natalie looked up to Boromir who bent down and ruffled her hair playfully before turning to leave.
"I just wanted you to know that I will always be thinking of you. I can't say I've ever felt as strongly about you than I have for anything else."
Nat sat alone in the deepening darkness as lights flared up behind her in the citadel and the sounds of revelry began to flow down into the valley.
Everything had seemed to catch up with her ever so suddenly; her father, Thom's healing, her friendship with the elves, her newfound skills…. Everything had come and gone so fast that to finally end here with her embarking at dawn into the wilderness with a complete stranger made it seem as if it was a dream.
This world was still so fantastical. No matter what she told herself, she knew she could never accept this place as her home but with no direction, she had no way of returning to the realm of the metropolis' and their capitalist hunger for growth. There was a magic held in this world that she had never encountered in her homeland. It was as if the very earth beneath her breathed like the concrete she had grown up upon never had. There was a vibrancy that surrounded her, that pushed her into things she would never normally consider.
This world contained a million and one adventures that the dull, monochromatic city could never emulate. The calculating ways that she had always known now seemed distant and faint. As much a dream as this world was to her.
A breaking twig made Nat swing around quickly to find Aragorn offering a hand to her.
"Everyone's missing you at the feast. I would not want to let them down if I were you."
"Too late," murmured Nat to herself.
"I beg your pardon, my Lady? I did not catch that."
"Uh, Lord Aragorn? Could you possibly grant me a favour?"
"If it is within my power to do so, lady, but whatever it is, keep in mind that I must leave here soon."
"Oh no, it's nothing like that… just, could you look out for Boromir for me? We just had a bit of a fight and I don't want…"
"Of course, Natalie. But now I think you need to chaperone your brother before a certain pair of hobbits persuade him to try a certain 'magic brew'."
Nat smiled and followed him back to the Halls.
Walking in, she was severely aware of the grass stains on her now damp skirts. She was shown to the guest table but instead of being seated between Boromir and Gimli, she was as far removed from them as possible, seated next to the old man, Gandalf and the elf Legolas. Her elderly companion did not seem to mind the new seating arrangements though it was evident on the elf's face that he was expecting to have been able to converse with the old man during the meal.
Sighing with a strange resignation he turned to Natalie to offer some morsel of conversation.
"I hear you are to journey with this new Ranger, Alexander."
Natalie quickly swallowed the bread she had just bitten – too fast and was left with a painfully raw throat.
"Uh, yes, I am."
Legolas seemed a little disappointed in the answer but was not to be defeated.
"Where are you planning to travel? Towards the north?"
"I don't know?" said Nat hopefully.
"Don't know? Then what is this Ranger like? I suspect he has decided to make it a surprise. Well, we can't have that or you would not be prepared for the journey properly." He turned towards Alex who sat on the edge of the table, looking as if he'd rather not be there.
"Ho, Ranger Alexander! Where is your journey's end? Tell us, or Natalie will not have a thing to wear – expecting to go to woodlands and in the end, finding herself in the swamps!"
Alex looked at the elf darkly from beneath is brows, took a swig from the mug in front of him and mumbled something.
"Pardon, I didn't hear that," Legolas cried slightly louder. Boromir, on the other side of the table, had looked up and was watching the exchange with interest.
"Haven't decided yet," the ranger said curtly and turned to the meal that had been set in front of him.
Legolas sat back, his second conversation again in a dead end.
He noticed Natalie was once again, looking in a way at her food, similar to the look he had seen at their last feast together.
"Wild boar. Delicious, fresh from this very morning. You will enjoy it," he told her, nudging the arm that held her fork, which was hovering above the meat uncertainly.
She smiled nervously and cut herself a small piece of meat which she gingerly lifted to her mouth…
"Will you stop watching me?" she asked the prince, putting the food down, away from her mouth and turned angrily towards him.
"Oh, I'm sorry. But I find you fascinating."
Natalie blinked, blushed and went back to her food and had demolished half of her plate before realising that the elf was still watching her closely.
Groaning with frustration she stood up to quit the table but Legolas stood with her.
"Finished?" he asked her quickly, "Then you must be ready to dance."
At that exact moment, the orchestra struck a chord and couples began flowing onto the floor. Legolas took a hold of Nat's hand before she had a chance to step away and pulled her into a sea of elegant elven couples and pulled her into position.
"What? Why? Are you…?"
Legolas watched past her ear and constantly moved her in and out of the couples around them. His steps were getting more and more intricate and difficult for Nat to follow. Nearly tripping over her own feet, she found herself stopped by a hand on her arm and a cold voice.
"If I may?"
Legolas bowed his head and turned to Nat with a slight smirk.
"You are a wonderful dancer, Lady Natalie. I have no idea why you could not dance with me at our last meeting."
Nat could barely react and was given no chance to as she was swept into another, much easier dance with her new partner. She saw Legolas watching her and her partner from the side, with a twinkle in his eye. She made a face at him that let him know that she knew she was no great dancer but he simply smiled and continued to watch her closely.
For a moment she wondered about who her saviour was, but was too afraid to look p in case she knew who it was. Slowly, she relaxed and let him guide her around the room and for a moment, she felt as graceful as the elves around her, she smiled and let her head sink onto his shoulder.
The dance ended and her partner was gone.
Two, three, four dances or more later she excused herself back to the guest table but made a detour through the kitchens, grabbing some bread, a block of cheese and a knife and went outside to sit in the quiet away from the Hall.
She remembered the night she first truly trusted Boromir, laughed with him. She wished she could laugh with him now… How could she have been so stupid? So thoughtless and thick? A tear fell down and she wiped it away quickly. This was why she needed to get away. This was why she couldn't stay with her brother any longer. She was growing weak in this world. How would she be able to cope when she had to go back to reality? It was stupid, all this crying and regretting. She'd never had to think over her actions before because if you stopped to think for a minute, you were dead. Or worse. She hacked at the cheese with her knife angrily and tore off a piece of bread. Chewing it furiously, she let herself forget everything and focussed on her father down in the garden.
What did he think he was doing out of bed? She promptly forgot about the bread and cheese on the stone bench next to her and moved down to the courtyard below to watch him, to get closer. Then she saw her father stop and look to the stars.
It was so strange… he seemed to simply pause in time and slowly open his arms and close his eyes, as if he was trying to embrace the sky in one go. But in the end he couldn't, and he lowered his arms with a sigh of disappointment.
Nat tried to move around, to see his face but a twig snapped beneath her foot.
Gordon spun so quickly she barely had a moment to register his tear-streaked face.
"Who's there? What are you doing? Thom, is that you?"
Nat felt removed from her body as she slowly stood and came into full view for her father.
"It's just me."
He had wiped away his tears now, but it didn't seem to matter to Nat anymore.
"Nat?" his voice held a quiver of fear as he beheld his daughter, "You're beautiful… I never realised how beautiful you look in such a dress…"
He seemed to want to move forward to meet her but he held back. As if he was remembering the things that Nat never wanted to think of again.
"Nat, I know you can't possibly even think to forgive for the way I've treated you – I have no excuse. I don't know why I … I'm confused, Nat…" He staggered towards her.
Nat caught his arm as he fell, and pulled it across her back in an effort to keep him upright.
"Come on, father. You are still weak." Gordon Parker nodded weakly and let his daughter lead him back to his room.
…
Boromir chewed on the bread and cheese slowly. Watching the pair stumble into the opposite building, he thought over the events of their last night together. Perhaps there was some point to this night. He hated to leave Nat like this, but he did not want to face her again.
Heshould have been more understanding! He kicked himself mentally for his cold farewell. Perhaps he could apologise in the morning before she left. Perhaps.
Chewing the bread and cheese, he remembered when he first saw her laugh freely with him – with no sarcasm or reserve, just plain happiness. He had never seen her so relaxed as in that moment where she had allowed herself to laugh with him, to trust him. Except…
Dancing with her had been wonderful, if nothing else. Her body flowed so instinctively with his… By all the gods, he was missing her before she had even left. Why hadn't he been more understanding?
He sighed one last time and wandered down into the garden to be alone with his thoughts.
A/N: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Finally! I'll try to be a bit more quicker with my next update… A week? And then you can flame me at my journal or something. I hardly have any motivation if I think people aren't reading it… I know they are, but unless… I don't know. It's annoying.
I'm not sure about this chapter, it's been a while since I wrote fanfiction. IT was getting near crunchtime with my studies. Everything just caught up with me this year. I ahve my last two finalyears of highschool coming up so it's pretty hectic.
Heh, for those of you interested in my personal life, my job is taking over my life, school holidays is completely filled with holiday assignments (Wtf? Why? It's summer holidays here!) and reading lists for English AND Literature. I was crazy to do both…
GREAT EXPECTATIONS! 10 PAGES ON THE DOUBLE!
Not now, please Shaitan…
YOU COULD AT LEAST TRY TACKLING EMMA.
I'm tired... I'll read it tomorrow…
HMPH.