Ok, so I had to split this chapter up a little because it was taking way too long to write. I'm still not done writing it... -.-; But then I thought to myself, "Hey, self, couldn't I just make this into two chapters?" And then myself said, "Yeah, why not?" So I did. So the next chapter may be a bit shorter than usual, but at least this one's posted.

Ok now. On with the MAdneSZ!!!!

Previously on Marik's Boring Day...Noa challenged Yami to a game of some sort. Will Yami accept?

---Chapter 4: Noa's TWISTED Game!---

The former Pharaoh stared the green-haired boy down, his crimson eyes flashing in the sunlight. Knowing Noa, this game of his was probably a trap of some sort. Caution was the best road to take. But Yami's stubborn pride took the wheel, and danger and glory was the only way it wanted to go. Besides, it was a game. A game! How dare this child challenge the King of Games to a game! "What kind of a game?" the game king asked, interest peaked.

Glaring up at the Pharaoh, Noa answered simply, "A game I just happen to be a master at."

Yami scoffed. "Yeah, well it must not be too hard of a game if a short, green-haired, annoying-voiced loser like you can be good at it!" Mentally, he winced. Five thousand years had done a number on his ability to insult people.

"Careful," Noa said in a low voice. "You don't even know what the game is yet..."

"It doesn't matter!" Yami exclaimed, insulted that Noa would dare think that the type of game actually mattered. "Games are my specialty! I am the King of Games, after all!"

Noa smirked. "So, do you accept my challenge?"

Caution shoved pride out of the way and grabbed the wheel. Yami hesitated, now having the sense to realize that even though he knew he could vanquish Noa, he couldn't put Yugi or Ryou in danger. "Just what is this game of yours, anyway?"

"I thought you said it didn't matter." Noa asked in mock innocence. Yami scowled. "It's a game of skill..." Noa continued.

"Yeah..." Yami asked, clearly annoyed.

"A game of will..."

"Yeah..."Yugi said it along with Yami.

"It's..."

"Just tell us, damnit!" Ryou burst out, sounding very much like his yami on a bad hair day.

Noa blinked and took a frightened step back. "Ok, ok, sheesh. I was just trying to build up suspense."

Everyone sweatdropped.

"Ok," Noa continued. "The game is..." He paused, but when he caught Ryou's I'll-Kill-You glare, he quickly added, "Twister!"

Ryou fell to the ground with a thump in an anime-fall-down. "What the-?!" he said exasperatedly from the ground. "Who plays that anymore?!"

"I do," Noa said stiffly. "And as I said, I'm quite good at it." He puffed his chest out proudly. "So," he said, turning back to Yami, "do you accept my challenge?"

Yami didn't answer at first, seemingly deep in thought. Or he could have been sleeping. Both basically looked the same on the Pharaoh. But eventually, he did answer. "...I've never played this 'Twister' of yours...But it sounds intriguing...Alright, Noa. I'll play your twisted game." The game king immediately winced. "No pun intended there...But only on two conditions!"

"Name them!" Noa shot back.

Yami grinned. "Number one: Winner gets to do what they want with the loser. Meaning it's the Shadow Realm for you when I win."

"That's if you win!" he snapped. "Agreed. What's the second condition?"

"Number two," the Pharaoh said, pointing at Noa. "Lose the eyepatch. It's kind of freaking me out."

Sighing, Noa removed the eyepatch. "Oh, all right." He threw the eyepatch carelessly over his shoulder. "Now, let's begin!"

Ryou sweatdropped. "That's it, I'm leaving."

"No!" Noa cried. "You have to be spinner!"

"Must I?" Ryou all but whined.

At this point, Yami stepped in. "Well, Ryou," he said, putting an arm around the boy's shoulders, "would you rather be a cheerleader?" He spun Ryou around and motioned to Yugi, who was in the middle of a very 'complicated' cheer.

"Gimme a 'Y'!" he shouted.

No one gave him a 'Y.' Or any other letter of the alphabet.

"Gimme a...umm...'A'!" he tried again.

No one gave him an 'A.' Not even a lowercase 'a.'

Finally, little Yugi gave up and started doing back flips.

Ryou's eyes widened. "I'm good with spinner," he said quickly as he grabbed the spinner that Noa proffered.

"Now let's start!" Noa exclaimed as he set out the spotted Twister map.

"Start what?" The four looked up at the source of the voice. Jonouchi strode up to his friends (and Noa), friend radar beeping like an alarm clock on the fritz and towing Seto Kaiba by the wrist. Dragging would be more appropriate, judging by the scowl on the CEO's face. He gave everyone a look that could sour milk before stooping to sulking. "I love Twister!" Jonouchi shouted, spotting the map as he slipped his friend radar into his pocket and released his hold on the recalcitrant CEO. "I wanna play! How about it, Kaiba?"

Kaiba scowled. "Why would I want to play this pathetic excuse for a game?"

"Cuz it's fun!" Jonouchi replied with a cheesy smile.

Kaiba sweatdropped. "I refuse to play."

"Come on, Kaiba!" Jonouchi rolled his eyes. "Quit bein' such a stick in the mud and play a little game with your friends!"

Blue eyes narrowed dangerously as the brunette wrenched his wrist from the blond's grasp. "I am not a stick," he growled, "nor am I in any sort of mud. And I don't appreciate you putting your dirty paws on me and dragging me halfway across town to play some unimaginative game." He turned away, crossing his arms over his chest. "I don't have time for friends. I, unlike you, have a life. And if I did have friends, they wouldn't be low-life mutts like you."

"That's probably because ya ain't got any friends, ya jerk!" Jonouchi shouted. "Jeez, I try an' be nice to ya, an' this is the thanks I get."

About to reply with an angry retort of his own, Kaiba was silenced when a calm voice inquired, "What's wrong, Kaiba? Afraid you'll lose?"

Kaiba spun around, cerulean eyes scanning the area to find the one so bold as to accuse the great and almighty Seto Kaiba of cowardice. After searching in vain for a few moments, the thought occurred to him to lower his gaze. He did so and there stood the owner of the voice. "You," he growled, recognizing the spiky hair at once.

"Yes, Kaiba. It is I." Yami said, smirking at how he so irritated his rival. "You are afraid, aren't you? That's the reason you won't play."

Kaiba's eyes narrowed even more. You'd think he'd be squinting by now, but no, he actually looked pretty scary. "Ha. That's good. Me afraid of you? In your dreams, Yugi." He stepped closer to his spiky-haired rival, towering over him by a good six inches. "I could take you down while knitting with my hands tied behind my back."

Shaking the odd mental image of Seto Kaiba playing Twister while knitting with his hands tied behind his back out of head, Yami also stepped forward, cursing his short height for making him have to look up at his rival. "It's Yami," he said coolly. "And if you're so sure you can beat me, then why not prove it? Right here, right now."

"You're on," Kaiba breathed, staring unflinchingly into Yami's large scarlet eyes. Sparks were practically beginning to crackle between them.

Meanwhile, Noa, who was getting awfully irritated about having the spotlight stolen from him by his half brother, was beginning to grow impatient. "Hello guys? Could we get this started sometime soon? Within the next few years would be nice..."

Kaiba turned to glare at this annoyance and jumped when he realized said annoyance was Noa. "N-Noa?!? He shouted. "Where did you come from? The last time I checked, you were in that virtual world."

Noa sighed. "I always knew I liked Mokuba more than I liked you," he muttered. "How I came to be here is not important. What is important is that I want to play Twister and defeat Yugi once and for all!!!" He began to whine, like the child that he appeared to be.

Yami stiffened. "That's Yami. Jeez, you can tell they had the same father."

That's stepfather," Kaiba snapped.

"Hey, hey, hey," Jonouchi intervened. "Who cares? Let's just play."

"Right," Yami said. "Winner gets to do what they want with the losers. Meaning the victor may maim, injure, or in any other way inflict hark upon the others if he so desires it. Is that clear?"

Kaiba, Jonouchi, and Noa nodded. Yugi cheered.

"Begin!" Noa shouted. "Spin that spinner!"

"If I must..." Ryou said, clearly unhappy that he had been roped into this.

"You must!" Noa shouted.

Ryou sighed and complied. "Left foot green."

The four players then put their left feet on green circles.

"Yeah, Yami!" Yugi shouted. "You show the m how to do it! Open up a can of Egyptian Pharaoh Whoop Ass! WOOO!!!!"

Ryou sighed again. "Oh I wish that I weren't here." He spun the spinner. "Right hand blue."

The four players then put their right hands on blue circles.

Ryou spun again, this time without a sigh. "Left hand yellow."

The four players then put their left hands on yellow circles. AN: Yeah, you all know how to play Twister. Admit it. So I don't have to go into great detail while describing...

All of a sudden, and for no reason at all, Jonouchi lost his balance and fell – right onto Kaiba, knocking the brunette down as well. "Ah!" the blond cried as he landed on the young CEO.

"HAHA! You lose!" Noa cried gleefully, pointing at the both of them.

Kaiba clenched his fists. "Off, mutt!" he shouted. "I can't believe it! Because of you I lost...to Yami..." He said the name with sadness. He was always trying to prove himself to this strange and confident entity. Why, he didn't know. Jealousy, stubborn pride, desire to be accepted...Did it matter anymore? His blue eyes flicked briefly up to the Pharaoh.

His gaze was met by Yami's. Crimson fire and blue ice, their eyes locked and something passed between them. Exactly what that something was wasn't clear. Perhaps a mutual discontent for Kaiba's fall, preventing them from facing each other as they so often did in the past. Or maybe they were just glaring the hell out of each other, each cursing the other and sending them only wishes of ill fortune. None will ever know.

Jonouchi, didn't seem to notice this exchange between the two. "Hey, it ain't my fault I got no balance," he grunted.

The disgruntled brunette managed to push Jonouchi off of him. He looked up once again at his greatest adversary, hoping to see a remaining glimmer of what just passed between them. He was met by a cool glare. The Pharaoh had once again donned his impassive façade. "Kaiba," he said, looking down at his fallen rival, "I'm sorry you had to lose this way. I was looking forward to defeating you in a more honorable way."

Kaiba shrugged and turned away. "Whatever," he said, feigning indifference.

All of a sudden, Flashback Guy rode in on Drumsticks wielding not a videotape, but a microphone! He was followed by Random Dude, who was rocking out on an electric guitar.

"Cuz this is MY United States of Whatever!" Flashback Guy sang into the mic from atop his fat little pony. "Yes this is MY United States of Whatever!" AN: Yes, this is a real song. It's awesome! It's my new theme song! Liam Lynch sings it. Don't own, don't sue But before he could sing any more United States of Whatever, he heard a whistling should coming from above him. Flashback Guy looked up in time to see a large anvil falling from the sky. Its shadow was covering him, getting larger by the second. "Gah! Let's get out of here!" He kicked Drumsticks into a gallop and was soon out of sight.

Random Dude, however, who was still jamming on his guitar, did not see the anvil or hear the whistling sound, which was steadily becoming louder. Finally, the whistling got so loud that he was forced to pause his music making and look up. "Crap," he muttered seconds before he was squished by the anvil.

"I'm ok!" came the frail voice of Random Dude from under the anvil.

A second, even larger anvil fell from the sky and landed on the first one.

"Still ok!"

The six exchanged glances, shrugged, and pretended the intrusion never happened.

Kaiba stood and walked stiffly over to where Jonouchi was sitting on the ground, where he glared at the blond for a moment before sitting down himself a few feet away.

"I'm sorry," Jonouchi said.

Kaiba ignored him. Rather, he tried to ignore him, but failed miserably when a hand grasped his chin and forced him to meet the blond's eyes.

"I really am sorry," he said softly.

Kaiba made no reply. He simply continued glaring.

"Fine," Jonouchi muttered. "If ya're gonna be stubborn, then we don't have to talk." He moved closer, making the brunette's eyes go wide.

The others, however, did not seem to notice.

"Now it's just you and me," Noa said.

"Soon to be just me," Yami corrected, a steely glint in his eyes.

So the two played for hours, at least that's what it felt like to poor Ryou, who had long grown tired of this "twisted" game. Twisting and turning in ways unimaginable, Ryou had to admit that Noa and Yami were two determined little buggers. Still, watching was rather boring. Luckily for Ryou though, a winner was soon to emerge.

Yami wasn't sure he could hold on for much longer. The little voice in the back of his head that told him when he had gone past his limit had long since gone quiet, declaring the Pharaoh and idiot and wishing him a nice aching body when he woke up tomorrow morning. But Yami felt like he couldn't give up. He was the King of Games, it was against his nature. He had principles, damnit, and no green-haired-cyber-freak was going to stomp all over him-

It was then that Yami felt himself slip.

"Ah! No!...Must...not..give in!"

Then he fell.

"Damnit!"

"I...win?" Noa asked in momentary disbelief. "Ha! I win!" he shouted in ecstasy as the news penetrated his little genius brain. "In your face, Pharaoh! I win! I win! I WIN!" The little green haired boy began doing a disturbing little victory dance.

"I lost," Yami said blankly. "Wait. I lost? I can't lose! I'm the Pharaoh! The King of Games! It's law that I win! I CAN'T LOSE!"

Yugi, who had stopped acting like a cheerleader when the match had ended, stepped forward and touched his yami's shoulder. "Ummm...Yami? Aren't you overreacted...just a little bit?"

"No!" Yami snapped. He tapped into the expansive power of his Millennium Puzzle, sending the Item floating before him and the Millennium Eye of Ra to flicker to life on his forehead. A nonexistent wind began blowing, causing his coat to flap about him in an otherworldly manner and his blond bangs to lift from his face.

Noa gasped in horror. "No! You can't do that! I won fair and square!"

"Your green hair distracted me from winning!" Yami snapped as he sent the cyber boy to the Shadow Realm. "Haha!" he shouted when the nonwind died down, the puzzle stopped floating, and the third eye faded away. "How ya like them apples? Now I win, you creepy little cyber freak!"

Yugi gasped and stepped back. Hew felt something nudge his toe. Noa's discarded eyepatch. He grinned and slipped it into his pocket.

"Whatever," Ryou said as he tossed the evil Twister spinner of doom over his shoulder.

"Now as for you two," Yami began, turning to Kaiba and Jonouchi. He had thought of an interesting punishment for a certain blue-eyed former priest of his. However, thoughts of his elaborate 'punishment' soon fled from his mind at the sight of the two before him. "Holy Ra!" he shouted.

That certain blue-eyed former priest of his was currently pinned under Jonouchi, who seemed to be ravaging said former priest's mouth...and not completely against Kaiba's will by the looks of it. Yami growled, preparing to tear Jonouchi away from his former priest. Thoughts of murder began filling his spiky head as his sight was filled with red. But again, Yami was interrupted before he could fulfill his plans.

"Wow." Yugi said, his mouth hanging slightly open and his eyes widened in shock.

"Yugi!" Yami wanted desperately to save Kaiba (though, by the looks of it, Kaiba didn't seem to care if he was saved or not) and to maim Jonouchi, but duty to his hikari came first. "No! Yugi! Shield your innocent little eyes!" He grabbed Yugi, picking him up effortlessly. "I'm getting you out of here, young one." Then, with one last regretful glance back at Kaiba, he ran off.

"Hm." Ryou said, heaving a deep sigh and sitting down a good distance away from the entwined forms of Jonouchi and Kaiba. "I'm so alone!" He closed his eyes and found himself actually missing his yami.

Lucky for Ryou, Bakura and Marik just happened to arrive upon the scene of the great Twister duel at that very moment!

I missed you too, hikari, Bakura thought through the mindlink, his lips curving in a small smile as Ryou's face flushed scarlet. He walked over to Kaiba and Jonouchi and kicked the blond in the ribs. "Get a room. I need to talk to my hikari."

Jonouchi tilted his head up to glare at Bakura, but wisely decided to follow the tomb robber's advice when he saw the theif's scowling face. He jumped up, helped Kaiba to his feet, then threw the dazed brunette over his shoulder, wanting to get as far away from that scowl as humanly possible before someone got turned into a Monster World doll or a Duel Monster card.

Still slightly flushed, Ryou watched as him yami advanced on him, the theif's normally cold and predatory demeanor shrinking to worried and shamed. Bordering on piss-your-pants-scared. "Um, Ryou," he began as he stood before his light. "I have something to confess..."

Immediately, Ryou's full attention was focused on the thief. Curiosity overpowering his strong urge to throttle said thief on the spot, he decided to hear what Bakura had to say. "You? Confess? Spill it."

"Well," Bakura started, fidgeting nervously, "I...umm...that is, your PS2..."

Here, Marik interjected. "It jumped out the window."

Ryou stared at him blankly. "The PS2...jumped?"

"Yup!" Marik said.

Ryou still looked lost. "Are you suggesting PS2s migrate?"

"...sure!" Marik exclaimed.

Bakura sighed exasperatedly. "No," he began tiredly. "It didn't migrate-"

"He's right!" Marik stuck in. "It was a bird!"

"A...bird?" Ryou asked disbelievingly.

"Yeah," Marik said, sounding totally serious. "A bird threw your PS2 out the window. I think it was a swallow."

Rolling his eyes, Bakura asked sarcastically, "African or European?"

"Ummm..." Marik began at a loss, "I don't know...We should look it up..."

"But wait," Ryou asked, still very confused. "How could a swallow carry a PS2?"

Marik paused a moment to think. "It could...grip it by the cord!"

"No," Ryou said. "That's not what I meant. It's not a question of where he grips it. It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a four pound PS2."

"Well it doesn't matter," Marik began, but Ryou cut him off.

"Listen," the frenzied hikari began. "In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times each second."

"I don't-"

"Right?"

"But what if two swallows carried it together-"

"Am I right?"

Finally, Bakura could take it no longer. "Gah!" he shouted. "Enough with the Holy Grail parody! I did it, ok? I did it! I threw your PS2 out the window! I'm sorry!" He clenched his eyes shut, preparing for the worst of Ryou's onslaught.

It didn't come.

"Oh," Ryou said, looking somewhat surprised.

After a minute or so, Bakura cautiously opened his eyes. "...Aren't you going to hurt me now?" he asked, confused.

"I really wanted to earlier," Ryou said at length. Bakura winced. "I knew it was you when I first saw what had happened," he continued. "I was ready to smash your face in when I found you. But now..." He paused. "You confessed! You actually confessed to something you did wrong! And you apologized! You usually just blame it on someone else, kick someone in the shin, and run away."

Bakura grinned sheepishly. "So does that mean you're not going to punish me?"

Ryou cracked his knuckles menacingly. "Oh, I'll punish you. But not now. Later."

Grinning wildly, Bakura leaned closer to his hikari, pulling Ryou closer. "I do hope it will include whips and chains," he purred seductively into his light's ear.

Ryou turned a brilliant shade of red.

"Gee, what do we do now?" Marik asked, breaking up the lovely yami/hikari moment before him. "I mean, we've completed our quest...sort of...You guys have made up..."

Thankful for Marik's intrusion, Ryou pulled away from his yami and piped up, "And the Pharaoh defeated the bad guy..."

Bakura cleared his throat and stepped forward. "And I, the antagonist, have come back to the light side of the force."

Marik and Ryou exchanged glances and both coughed at the same time, their coughs sounding suspiciously like, "Yeah right!"

Averting his gaze, Bakura cleared his throat. "Ok, so not really...I could never forsake the darkness...I am the darkness!" He paused to cackle evilly. "But what else is there to do?"

"Ummm...Oh! Oh! I know!" Marik exclaimed. "We could find and torment the Pharaoh!"

"Yeah!" Bakura agreed.

Ryou rolled his eyes. "Oh joy."

"Ha. Pathetic fools." The trio looked up at the voice. Seto Kaiba stood before them, his hands resting on his slim hips, and his trenchcoat billowing out behind him in a nonexistent wind. He glared down at the three, as if he were somehow superior to them. Jonouchi stood behind him. "You can't even think of a decent plan," Kaiba continued.

Bakura narrowed his eyes. "Where did you come from?"

"Over there," Jonouchi said as he pointed vaguely in a random direction. He crept over to Kaiba and slipped an arm around the brunette's waist.

"Down mutt," Kaiba snapped.

Jonouchi removed his arms and took a step back. "Moneybags," he muttered.

Kaiba crossed his arms and scowled at nothing in particular.

"Relationship problems?" Ryou asked, wandering over to the CEO.

Eying the white haired boy, Kaiba wondered who the hell this kid was. Ah yes. Yugi's friend. British. Ryou or something. They had never really spoken before. "You could say that," he said after a moment.

All of a sudden, the five heard a yell. Whipping their heads around in unison O.O Unison again! they saw Yami and Yugi running towards them as fast as their little legs would carry them.

Yami skidded to a stop in front of them and doubled over panting. "Ho-Horrible!" he huffed out between breathes.

Yugi fell to the ground, also breathing hard. "He-Help!" he gasped out.

The normally apathetic tomb robber turned a curious eye on them. "What's wrong?" he asked, trying to sound uninterested. After all, he hadn't caused whatever it was that had the Pharaoh running in fear. How bad could it be?

"Giant-"Yami panted, "muffin!"

Bakura sweatdropped. "What?"

"He's making even less sense than I do!" Marik exclaimed.

Yugi then raised a trembling finger and pointed back the way he and Yami had just run from. Everyone slowly turned to view the chaos that was forming behind them...

END

Gah! What does Yugi mean by "Giant muffin"? What kind of chaos in unfolding behind them??? Why can't I write fast enough?!?! Well, tune in next time to find out! And be sure to leave a review. Marik so enjoys them.

Marik throws a bunch of reviews in the air. "Yay!"

Flashback Guy shrugs. "Whatever."