Yes, that's right. This is...The muffin chapter! Dun dun dun!!! Just a note: my chocolate chip muffins kick ass. How ya like them apples, Muffie!!!
Another note: Marik's "Yami" (I know, he isn't really a yami, he didn't come from the Millennium Rod, yeah yeah, whatever) will be known as Malik. Why? Because I said so, and as author of this fic, what I say is LAW! MWAHAHAHA!!! So shut it, I don't wanna hear the "correct" name! (Plugs ears and starts singing "LA LALALALA!!!!" really loud) Eh hem...Well, here we go again!
Previously on MBD...Yami defeated Noa in a twisted game of Twister...Well, more or less. But now, some other obstacle has revealed itself to our heroes. What is this new threat? Will our heroes prevail?
---Chapter 5: Trust in the heart of the giant blueberry muffin monster!!!---
A giant muffin was rampaging through the streets of Domino! Smashing cars and crumbling buildings, the muffin in all its blueberry glory was indeed wreaking havoc! Such a gruesome thing in its oven-fresh goodness it was, that it had everyone, even the badass Pharaoh, trembling in fear!
Well, everyone except for Kaiba, who was apparently above trembling.
Anyway, two people soon appeared on the monstrous muffins back in a glow of Millennium Magic. One had silvery shoulder length hair and was dressed in a frilly red suite that the Pharaoh recognized immediately. "Pegasus!" he growled.
"Pegasus?" Marik asked, very much confused. "You mean like the flying horse thingy?"
"Pegasus?!" Kaiba cried out from behind Yami. "But...you were...disappearded..." he stammered, the intense shock sending him into an unintelligent state.
"Disappearded is not a word," he said to the babbling Kaiba. "Yes, I am back," he replied, turning back o Yami. "And I have an ally," he motioned to the gigantic muffin beneath him, "and a hostage." He then pulled a small boy out from behind his back, the child's thick black bangs covering his fear filled eyes.
"Put me down!" the kid growled, kicking at Pegasus's grip. "Lemme go, you fruity bastard! My big brother's soooo gonna kick your ass! Why do I always have to be taken hostage?!?!?!" Ok, so maybe fear filled wasn't the right phrase...
"Mokuba!" Kaiba cried out in fear and rage, despite the fact that Mokuba didn't seem to be in any immediate danger. The angry older brother took a step forward. A slim arm shot out and blocked his path. Kaiba turned his head down to the King of Games, who gave a slight shake of his head.
"What do you want, Pegasus?" The Pharaoh asked coldly.
"Kick his ass, Seto!" Mokuba yelled, landing a punch in Pegasus's side.
Pegasus grunted. "Quiet, runt!" the fruity bastard exclaimed, holding the enraged preteen at arm's length. Finding nothing with which to restrain the struggling Mokuba, he was dearly missing his Millennium Eye and the good old days when he could have trapped the stubborn brat's soul in a card. Finally, being able to take no more of the kid's shrieking, he picked Mokuba up, turned him upside down, and stuck his head into a giant blueberry. Satisfied, he turned to Yami and the glowering Kaiba. "Want?" Pegasus asked, raising a hand to his chin in contemplation. "Well, first I want to see the all-mighty Seto Kaiba tremble in fear before me and my giant blueberry muffin of DOOM!"
Kaiba crossed his arms over his chest. "I don't tremble."
The man shrugged. "Fine. Be a poor sport. Kaiba-boy!"
"No!" Kaiba cried, proud shoulders slumping. "Not that stupid nickname!" He closed his eyes and began trembling slightly against his will.
"Pegasus," Yami growled again. He knelt swiftly next to Kaiba, who had fallen to his knees, and placed a hand on his adversary's shoulder. Kaiba's head snapped up and his cerulean eyes turned to regard the game king. "I'll help you get him back," he whispered softly as he moved closer, referring to the still struggling Mokuba, who was still shouting, "Kick his ass!" although it was muffled by the blueberry.
The brunette sneered and turned away. "I don't need your help." But he didn't pull away.
Yami straightened and stood up, drawing the CEO's reluctant eyes to him. Yup, much as Seto hated to admit it, he was still the same high priest that Yami remember from his Egypt days. He will come to realize that soon enough, Yami though with a smirk. "Pegasus!" he shouted, turning his attention back to the man and the muffin before him. "Why have you come here? What do you really want?"
Pegasus only grinned. "You really want to know? My first agent has failed. My second agent will not!" He grinned even wider at the Pharaoh's bemused glare. "Now, Muffie!" he shouted.
Everyone stopped. "Muffie?!" they all asked in unison.
"Yeah," Pegasus said defensively. "I can have a fond nickname for my muffin-monster, can't I?"
Everyone shrugged in unison.
"As I was saying," Pegasus continued, "Muffie! Take Yugi!"
The muffin moved it's baked claw over to Yugi.
"Wait, that wasn't the plan!" Pegasus shouted. "I mean...er...What's his name? The quiet one! Uhh...You know, British kid, white hair."
The muffin moved to Bakura.
"Yeah, him." Pegasus said. Then, upon taking a closer look at his target, he changed his mind. "No! Not him! The other him! The other one!"
Muffie paused, its little brain confused. Then it slowly moved over to Ryou.
This time, Pegasus took a good look at his chosen target. "Yes, that's him!" he declared.
Everyone gasped in unison, this time really freaked out that they had done three things in a row in unison.
"Me?!" Ryou asked.
"What do you want with Ryou?!" Bakura demanded from his hikari's side.
Pegasus glared at the tomb robber. "You of all people should know," he retorted, glaring down at the thief. "You took my eye!"
"Your...eye?" Bakura asked, at a loss. "But why would I want your eye? I already have two..."
Pegasus sweatdropped. "No...My Millennium Eye..."
"Ooooh," Bakura said, remembering that day and thinking it made a lot more sense. "But why do you want Ryou?!"
"You took my Eye, so I'm taking your light!"
"My...light?" the tomb robber asked, scratching his head. "But it's the middle of the day. I have no need for a light..."
Everyone sweatdropped.
"Ooooh," he said, realizing what Pegasus meant. "My light side." He decided that made more sense as well.
"Yeah," Pegasus said. "Now, Muffie! Go!" The muffin's blueberry encrusted hand came closer to Ryou.
"Ryou!" Bakura cried as he went into the clichéd slow motion 'NOOOO!' scene. Unfortunately for him, the muffin scooped up Ryou before the thief had taken his first step. Damn slow motion scene!
"I'll save you!" the thief cried again, though he had just failed in doing so. "That's it! You've asked for it!" He then tapped into his Shadow Powers, feeling the dark energy flow into him from the Millennium Ring. But before he could do anything with said Shadow Powers, Honda and Otogi showed up just in time to ruin everything!
Still running from Otogi, Honda wasn't watching where he was going. "Watch out!!!" he cried, but it was too late. Honda fell into Bakura, who fell into Kaiba, who fell into Yami, who fell into Jonouchi, who fell into Yugi, who fell into Otogi, who just fell.
"No!" Bakura cried, losing control of his Shadow Powers and sending a beam of dark energy into an innocent bystander.
"Crap." Random Dude managed to say before he was blasted into oblivion.
Everyone paused and stared at the pile of ashes that was formerly Random Dude, all the while wondering how he had escaped the anvil incident from the previous chapter unscathed.
"Eh, he'll be fine!" Bakura said, waving his hand in a careless manner.
Everyone shrugged and turned back to the situation at hand.
Crossing his arms over his chest, Pegasus voiced the question that had been on everyone's mind ever since Marik woke up this morning and decided that he was bored. "Is there a point to this?" he asked. "I mean, what was the plot again? I seem to have forgotten..." he trailed off. "Why am I here?! Oh, now I've lost all my faith! Is all my life null?!"
Yugi, who was known for believing that his Duel Monsters deck had a "heart" and was thought to be just a little off in the head, wouldn't allow this type of talk coming from anybody, not even the guy who had once brought him to the Shadow Realm and killed him. (AN: Hey, who hasn't?) "No, Pegasus!" he cried. "Don't give up! You've just got to believe! Have faith! Trust in the heart of the..." He paused, about to say "Trust in the heart of the cards!" But his phrase didn't quite fit this situation. "Uh...Trust in the heart of the giant blueberry muffin monster!"
Pegasus shrugged. "Ok!" He then had Muffie put the Ryou on its head and threw the white haired teen down next to the still struggling (and still screaming) Mokuba.
Two mahogany eyes, narrowed in anger, turned to regard Yugi with a glare that promised more – much more – than death.
"What?" the short and spiky duelist asked innocently.
Breathing labored now, Bakura decided it would be best to just release his anger. So he did – in the form of a fist connecting with the side of little Yugis skull. "You practically invited Pegasus to take Ryou!" he shouted, spittle flying from his mouth. (Ewww...) "No one may give permission to other people to take my property except for me!!!"
Yugi didn't answer, as he was currently sprawled out on the ground, his eyes quite swirly.
"Give me back Ryou!" the tomb robber shouted at the eccentric billionaire (AN: No, not Kaiba -.-;), his mahogany eyes flashing in anger.
Pegasus paused to consider his request. "Well, maybe if you can convince my good friend Kaiba-boy to come up here and have a chat with me, oh, and maybe some tea and scones as well, then perhaps I'll think about it." He really had no intention of trading his pale captive for Seto Kaiba. He no longer desired the CEO's company, though it did have a lovely view, so what use did he really have for Kaiba? Besides, he wanted to torment the thief some more.
Bakura dashed over to Kaiba and grabbed the lean brunette around his middle. "Fine, you can have him!" he shouted as he dragged the CEO over to the gigantic muffin.
"No!" Jonouchi shouted as he leapt into the tomb robber's path to rescue his beloved. "He's mine!"
"Ah! Get off me!" Kaiba shouted at both of them. "Lemme go!"
Recovering from his tomb-robber-inflicted head injury, Yugi stood up and glanced at his yami. "Um...Yami? Now would be a good time to bust out some Shadow Powers..." But Yami was too busy glaring daggers at Jonouchi and Bakura.
"Stop it!" Kaiba shouted. "Let go of me!" He managed to pry himself from Bakura's grasp and was fending off Jonouchi, who was "helping," if you call trying to pull the poor boy over to himself helping. "You have a big enough appetite, mutt," he continued, taking a step back from the two, who were eying him hungrily. "Why don't you just eat the damn muffin?"
"Well, I would," Jonouchi began, "but it's blueberry. I don't do blueberry."
"AH!" Marik yelled, deciding it had been too long since he had last spoken. "Whatever shall we do?!"
As if to answer his question, a strain of a song in the distance reached Marik's ear.
"Huh?" Marik asked, obviously confused.
The song became clearer, apparently the source of it was getting closer. Soon, Marik and everyone else was able to decipher its words: "Here I come to save the day, Yami Malik's on the way!"
"Yami Malik?" Everyone asked.
"Yami Malik?" Flashback Guy asked from the Flashback Department, several blocks away.
"Yami Malik?" Random Dude asked, miraculously healed from being vaporized by a stray shot of dark energy.
"Malik?" Marik asked.
"Rawr?" asked Muffie.
All of a sudden, Marik's "yami" (his more psycho side...grin) came flying to the rescue! "Yes, it is I!" he exclaimed. "And I shall save you all, you foolish mortals!"
"I am not a mortal!" Bakura shouted indignantly, stubbornly crossing his arms over his chest.
Yami, who was not a mortal either, seemed thoroughly disturbed by another strange fact. "Ummm...Since when could Malik fly?"
"Since now, Pharaoh!" he shouted from the sky. He then flew up to Pegasus. "Release the mortals and I'll not be so hard on you!"
"Never!" cried Pegasus. He pointed to Bakura. "He took my Millennium Eye, so I'll take his lover!"
Ryou, who was in the process of getting up, fell back at Pegasus's words. "Lover?!?!" he cried, mortified. A deep blush spread across his face as a dozen mental images consisting of he and Bakura participating in various loving activities flashed before his eyes.
Bakura was also quite red, but seemed more angry than embarrassed. "I will reclaim what is mine!" he shouted, raising a fist in the air.
"Oh shut it, tomb robber," Marik snapped from the air. "I shall save your wench. And the brat too, while I'm at it."
"I am not a wench!" Ryou shouted angrily, glowering almost as much as his yami on the ground.
Wheeling about in the sky, Malik spun to face Pegasus. "Well, I've given you a chance to go unharmed. Now...I get to have fun!" His psycho grin appeared on his face.
"You don't scare me!" Pegasus said, though he did indeed sound a bit shaken. "What can you do against the might of my muffin?"
Malik flew up a few inches so he was eye level to the billionaire. "Heh. I'm going to...EAT THE MUFFIN!!!"
"Gasp!" Pegasus...gasped. "No! You wouldn't!'
Malik only grinned all the wider. "Watch me." He then devoured the entire muffin in about five seconds. "MMMMMMM....Blueberry!"
Ryou was suddenly falling. Very fast. The ground was steadily getting closer, rushing up to meet him. He didn't especially want to meet the ground, but what could he do? Nothing! He shut his eyes tightly and prepared for impact.
THUMP. "OWWW!"
Ryou cracked an eye open and looked down to see what had cushioned his fall. "Bakura!" he cried gleefully, scampering off his squashed yami and helping him to his feet. "Thanks for breaking my fall!"
"Yeah, yeah," his yami replied. "Thanks for breaking my back."
Ryou giggled.
"I tried to catch you," Bakura continued, rubbing his back. "I kinda tripped –"
He was stopped in mid-sentence when Ryou threw his arms around him. "Thanks," his hikari murmured from somewhere in Bakura's chest.
Bakura smiled and wrapped his arms around his hikari. "Good to have you back."
Meanwhile, Pegasus, who had somehow survived the fifty foot drop unharmed, was kneeling on the ground with his head in his hands. "NOOOO!!!! MUFFIE!!!!"
Smirking, Malik landed in front of him. "You are defeated," he said softly. "And I shall take this as a prize!" He snapped Pegasus's eyepatch and removed it from the man. "Now I shall send you to the Shadow Realm!" He then sent Pegasus to the Shadow Realm. (AN: How? I don't know. Marik had the Millennium Rod...Just ignore the scary plot holes, people!) "Bye, Pegsy! Now I shall do this!" He donned the eyepatch. "Yo Ho!...
"Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me!
We pillage, we plunder, we rifle, and loot,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho!
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot,
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho!
"Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me!
We extort, we pilfer, we filch, and sack,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho!
Maraud and embezzle, and even high-jack,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho!
"Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me!
We kindle and char, inflame and ignite,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho!
We burn up the city, we're really a fright,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho!
"We're rascals, scoundrels, villans, and knaves,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho!
We're devils and black sheep, really bad eggs,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho!
"Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We're beggars and blighters, ne'er-do-well cads,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
Aye, but we're loved by our mommies and dads,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
"Hahaha! I'm Jack Sparrow!" Malik then flew away.
"Oooook..." Everyone said.
"Bye, Malik!" Marik shouted. "Bye! See you later! Bye!"
Kaiba stood up suddenly and began frantically searching through the muffin crumbs for something. "Where's Mokuba?!?!" he shouted desperately. "Don't tell me your deranged yami ate him, Marik, or I'll friggin' kill you!" (AN: O.o Starting to talk like Jonouchi now, huh?)
"Malik does not eat small and annoying children!"" Marik began defensively. "At least, I don't think he does..."
"Look!" Yami shouted. "Up in the air!"
"It's a bird!" Yugi exclaimed.
"It's a plane!" Jonouchi argued.
"No!" Yami said. "It's..."
"MOKUBA!" Kaiba finished. And indeed it was. The enraged preteen was falling from the sky. How he got up there, we will never know...
"AIIEEEE!!!!" the kid screamed as gravity claimed him.
"I got him," Yami said boredly, casually stretching out his arms. Mokuba fell right into them.
"Gee, thanks!" Mokuba said cheerily. "You saved my life, Yugi!"
Frowning, Yami snarled at the blueberry covered Mokuba, "I'm Yami!" He then dropped the younger Kaiba brother.
"Mokuba!" Kaiba ran over to his younger brother, sparing a glare for Yami as he passed. "Mokuba, are you ok?"
Mokuba stood up, fine except for a few blueberry stains on his clothes. "Yeah, Seto, I'm fine. Didn't you see? Yugi," Yami glared at him, "-er, Yami, saved me!"
Kaiba turned to a smirking Yami. "You...saved him?"
Shrugging casually, Yami said, "I'm the hero. It's what I do."
I should thank him, Kaiba thought. He nearly shuddered at the notion. "Uh, Yami?" he began, clearing his throat.
"Yes, Kaiba?" He was still smirking.
Kaiba sighed and shook his head. "Well...That is...I, um...I wanted to..."
"Yes?"
"Th...I wanted to tha...Thaaaa...aaaaaaaaa...Tha...aaaaa..."
"Thaaaaa?" Yami was just playing with him. He knew perfectly well that Kaiba was trying to thank him. It was just amusing how hard of a time the brunette was having with a simple thank you.
Biting his lip briefly in frustration, Kaiba tried again. "Thaaaaa...Oh, I can't do it!" Seto Kaiba had never thanked anyone besides Mokuba. Never.
Yami's smirk widened. "Do what?"
Kaiba coughed into his hand and muttered incoherently, "Thank you."
"What was that, Kaiba?" Yami asked, raising a hand to his ear. "I didn't hear you."
Ready to pull his hair out, Kaiba finally snapped. "Gah! I wanted to thank you, alright?! I wanted to thank you for saving my brother! THANK YOU!!!!" He swooned and managed to gasp out, "I can't believe I said that...to you..." His knees gave way and he fell. Yami reached forward to catch him, but was beaten to it by Jonouchi.
"Kaiba?" the blond asked softly, brushing a few rogue strands of hair from the brunette's now closed eyes.
"I'm fine," Kaiba muttered, slowly opening his eyes. He unconsciously leaned closer to the blond. Jonouchi responded to this by wrapping his arms around the lean teenager and pulling his closer still.
Now even angrier at Jonouchi than he was before, Yami growled, "Ugh, get a room."
Jonouchi grinned at the irritated Pharaoh. "Ok." He slipped one arm around Kaiba's back and the other around the brunette's knees and hefted him up effortlessly. Then, without a backward glance, he carried his prize away.
Yami glared after them and caught a flash of blue eyes before the two left his sight.
Bakura looked down at his own prize, currently residing in his arms. "Hey, Ryou," he said quietly.
"Mmm?" Ryou looked up.
A devilish grin spread across his yami's face. "Let's go...'get a room'."
A bright blush spread across Ryou's fair face. "Wha-?" was all he could get out before he was dragged away.
Yami blinked. "Well. It seems like Ryou and Bakura are getting along well. Very well."
Otogi tapped Honda determinedly on the shoulder. "Will you give me back my dice now, Honda?"
Honda paused to think about it for half a minute. "Ummm...NO!"
Uttering a growl promising a slow and painful death, Otogi lunged at Honda.
"AH!" Honda threw the stolen dice at Otogi and ran away.
"AHHHAAHHHH!!!!" Otogi shrieked. "MY EYE!" Otogi then pocketed his dice, clutched at his wounded eye, and ran after Honda.
"...um..." Yami shrugged, at a loss for words.
Yugi heaved a deep yawn. "Boy, I sure am tired." He lay down and was soon asleep.
Shrugging, Mokuba turned and started walking away. "I'm going home," he called over his shoulder to his big brother, even though his brother had been kidnapped by Jonouchi a few minutes ago.
Marik looked out of the corner of his eye at Yami. "I'm so alone!" he cried. Then, holding his precious Millennium Rod to his chest, he ran off, leaving our favorite Pharaoh alone, with the exception of his sleeping hikari.
Yami looked around, his gaze eventually falling onto the sleeping form of Yugi. "Well, I guess I'll have to stay here and watch over him until he wakes up." He sighed. "How very...boring."
A few blocks away, a gateway was opening in an abandoned alleyway right on the side of an old building. Rolling waves of gray clouds moved across a black sky in the steadily widening portal, purple lightening illuminating the skeletons of dead trees in a sparse forest. Agonizing howls of doomed souls drifted though the tear in time and space, making people on the main road shiver and look around nervously, though they had no idea what had brought on this sudden feeling of dread.
None other than Maximillion Pegasus stepped through this gateway, smirking as he stepped into the middle of the deserted alley and as the gateway swirled shut behind him, cutting off the screams of the damned. "They'll never suspect me of treachery if they believe me to be trapped in the Shadow Realm," he said once the screams had died down, laughing softly.
A few feet away, another gateway opened in the wall before him. "Shadi," Pegasus greeted as the Egyptian's gateway shut behind him. "How nice to see you again."
Shadi spared only a minor glance for the man before making the Millennium Scale disappear. "The Key," he said, holding out his hand expectantly.
"Very well then." Pegasus reached under his shirt and pulled out a glowing ankh-shaped key. "The Millennium Key. It was very kind of you to let me borrow it."
"Only because I am curious to see what you will do next," Shadi muttered, snatching the Key and slipping it around his own neck. "What will you do, Pegasus?"
Pegasus grinned. "I will implement the next stage of my brilliant plan. I will send my second agent to deal with our pesky friends."
"Your second agent?" the Egyptian asked, confused. "But the muffin was your second agent, was it not?"
"Oh no," Pegasus said, slowly shaking his head. "No, not at all. It was all part of my plan for Muffie to lose. It would have been nice to take my revenge on the tomb robber by kidnapping his light, but that's just been so over done. The fools now think I'm in the Shadow Realm and no threat at all. I will attack them when they think me vanquished."
Shadi only stared at him. "Muffie?" he asked incredulously.
"Shut up!" Pegasus snapped, turning away. "Come now. Let's go back to Kaiba Corp tower. We can play race cars on the comfy wheely executive chairs and then play Tetris on Kaiba-boy's computer."
Shadi shrugged and followed, wondering what madness Pegasus was planning for the Pharaoh and his friends.
END
(SPOILER TYPE THING) GAH! I MISS MARIK!!!! And I keep calling all the new badguys Rare Hunters, even though they're not! Hey, ever wonder what happened to Marik's Rare Hunters after that final duel at Alcatraz? I think Yami's got them hidden somewhere...Heh...Oh! And if Pegasus can come back, so can Marik! They've got to bring him back!!!! (END SPOILER TYPE THING)
Ah, yes, the ducktape. For those of you who think I am misspelling this word, I do have a reason using duck instead of duct...
Flashback Guy puts a tape in the VCR...
FLASHBACK TIME!!!!
A duck walks by holding a roll of duct tape under its wind. "Quack!"
"Hey! That's my duct tape, damnit!" The authoress runs off after the duck.
END FLASHBACK TIME!!!!
Flashback Guy takes the tape out of the VCR.
And ever since then, I've called it ducktape...(Nods sagely)
"QUACK!"
So, what's Peggy planning now? What did Bakura mean by "Get a room"? Since when could Malik fly? Poor Muffie...Tune in next time for the always popular Tetris chapter!