Another Birthday Party
A note from the author: Hm, well. . .it's been a couple weeks. . .Sorry about that! Due to the looong time period in which y'all have received no updates, I'm going to attempt to write a chapter that will BLOW YOU OFF YOUR FEET! Key word being attempt. So if it's not as impressive as you had hoped/expected, DO NOT hesitate to mention so in your review (hint, hint!).
oOoOoOo
In the final hours before Popuri's party, nestled in the warmth of Kai's chest as the two of us rested peacefully on the beach, I found myself in constant thought of Jack. The questions he'd asked me before, about our failed attempt at friendship, repeated themselves in my head until I finally decided to lay out a mental plan.
The solution was simple, and subsequently to deciding upon it, I felt sensations of guilt wave through my veins. My decision was to behave around Jack as I had once behaved around Kai. I remembered the days before the time of Pappy's passing, the days before the break-up between Kai and Ann. I remembered the hours I had spent with Kai each day, working at the vineyard, relaxing at the bakery, hanging out at the bar, or lounging on the beach, almost like we were now. I remembered the days of sheer, pure friendship between us and missed them.
Snuggling under a multi-colored umbrella to shade us from the fire of the late-afternoon sun, I realized there was something about having a male friend that gave me a sort of peace, a kind of comfort that I did not find even in Ann. In the times of simple companionship with Kai, I'd felt a strong sense of security, of lovability, even of love itself. With a man as your friend, there is always a kind of unspoken love, where the best things that can possibly be uttered needn't even be said for their obviousness.
And now. . .Now that Kai and I were so romantically consumed in one another, I found myself lacking a solid male friendship.
It's not that Jack was my only option either. I could easily pursue Gray, since I already knew him so well, but my thoughts of him were not as fond as they used to be. There were other nice boys on the island. And quiet though they were, maybe even shy, they were not out of the question. Jeff and Harris seemed to me to be sweet, with good morales and class. They were handsome in a boy-next-door kind of way. And though Rick was considerably older, he was still tolerable. Irksome, annoying, but. . .tolerable.
After much thought and a lengthy argument with myself, all contained in the vast expanse of my mind, I came to the should-have-been-obvious conclusion that Jack was the right male friend to have. Decency, manners, respect for the opposite sex. . .not to mention his wit and humor, combined with a smile that weakened my knees. . .Jack proved to be an excellent choice.
I sighed contentedly. My head was lifted and lowered slowly with the rhythmic breaths of the sleeping Kai upon whom I was nuzzled comfortably. My right ear pressed against his chest, I could hear the beat of his heart in perfect harmony with the risings of his diaphram.
Closing my mouth and eyes, I inhaled the moist ocean air through my nostrils, thoroughly enjoying the heavenly scent. It was on days like these when I most wondered if the world actually, really had been created by some Supreme Being. #How else?# I asked myself. #How else can this island be so miraculously beautiful?#
But my thoughts and Kai's nap were abruptly interrupted by the growing volume of approaching laughter. As Kai jolted awake, I sat up and whirled around to see Ann and Cliff coming our way. "C'mon, lovebirds," Ann teased, "We'd better start getting ready for Popuri's party."
oOo
As Ann and I hustled down the stairs, the pounding of our feet brought the boys to attention. Cliff and Kai, who had been joined by the sullen-faced Gray since Ann and me had departed for my bedroom, stood from the couch and looked at each of us impatiently. "It's about time," Gray grunted, uttering the first of a series of negative comments to follow.
Ann scoffed. "Don't rain on the parade, Gray," she hissed at him, stepping over to slug him quite unjokingly. "We wanna have a good time tonight."
In my peripheral vision, I noticed Mother walking quietly, briskly into the living area wearing a new skirt and the uncommon pair of fancy shoes. "You coming with us, Mother?" I asked.
"Well, I'll go to the party, but not with you hooligans," she laughed musically. I smiled.
"Suit yourself," I answered, partly grateful that she wouldn't be accompanying us.
"Are we ready yet?" Gray mumbled.
It was my turn to slug him. "Knock it off," I commanded.
Kai and Cliff, who had remained silent until now, looked at each other and shrugged. "Let's go," Kai said, wrapping an arm around my waist. My cheeks were immediately hot, almost unbearably so. I felt more than slightly uncomfortable being subject to suggestive physical contact in the presence of my ever watchful mother. However, I pretended not to notice, as though it were the most natural thing in the world, covered my look of surprise with a carefree kind of expression, and led the way to the front door.
"It's about time," Gray repeated when we'd exited the house and stepped out into the mystical night air. The sun had just set, leaving behind a temporary pallet of color on the horizon, just below the edge of a navy blue blanket spotted with friendly cotton clouds, gray without the light, and speckled with the occasional constellation.
"The weather is beautiful," Cliff whispered quietly as the five of us stood outside for a brief moment.
"Yeah," Kai said, beginning the walk to the bakery, where the party would take place. "Which is good, 'cause they've set up tables and stuff in the garden to make room inside for the dance floor."
"Dance floor?" I chirped, my green eyes glittering with joy.
Ann giggled. "Nothing bring's a party to life like a dance floor with Karen on it," she teased cleverly.
"What can I say?" I countered, shrugging with a look of playfulness on my smiling face.
During the entire conversation that followed, Gray was rolling his eyes and trying to walk faster, his impatient disposition growing by the second. Finally he made a rude grunting noise and marched ahead, leaving us behind at our lazy pace. "You know why I think he's so anxious?" Ann said, her expression hinting that she was about to burst into giggles.
"He's nervous about Popuri," I explained laughingly. "He's gonna kiss her tonight, right?"
"So he claims," Ann answered. "If he just would've done it last year, they could be getting married right now."
An awkward silence grew between the four of us as we walked slowly up the sloping path. The mention of marriage had stirred up a sort of invisible tension between Kai and me. I noticed his jaw tighten quickly, but his gaze ahead did not falter. I knew what he was thinking about. I was thinking about it, too.
Did we love each other? Were we IN LOVE? Was marriage waiting somewhere in the future?
The air became thick with silence. Unspoken questions rattled in our minds, and each of us knew the others were pondering the possibilities, too. . .And still we were silent.
Finally Cliff spoke up as we approached the elegantly decorated bakery garden. "This looks like fun." The street lamps were lit, causing a look of further elegance to surround the lightly crowded area. A few of the village elders were gathered amongst the freshly trimmed hedges in boisterous chatter, no doubt concerning festival business. As Kai had mentioned, the furniture from inside the bakery had been moved out here. I noticed candles burning on each table, sending fragrant wisps of smoke into the light breeze.
And then I noticed Jack. Despite the warmth of a comfy pair of jeans, I felt goosebumps rise on my legs. A nimble chill made its sharp way up my spine, and I again felt heat from my rosy red cheeks when I looked at him. Wrapped in a fashionable brown suade jacket and sporting a pair of Levi's, he looked comfortable, but he certainly knew how to dress up for an event like this.
Listening to some old story from Anella and Hector, he let out a lighthearted laugh and said something back. He looked so comfortable in the crowd. . .almost as though he'd lived here forever. A spark of genuine interest lit his beautiful brown eyes as he listened contentedly to the elders' kooky old tales.
Cliff broke into a grin and began walking in Jack's direction, by which I wasn't surprised, but I panicked when Kai began to follow. I looked down at myself to make sure I looked alright. The belt's on straight, my tummy's covered, the necessary buttons on my soft lavendar top are fastened. . . "Jack's here! Does my hair look okay?" I blurted to Ann. OOPS.
"Karen!" she whispered harshly, eyes turning wide and round.
I made the oh-my-gosh-did-I-just-say-that-out-loud face and immediately said, "You never heard me say that!"
Ann gave me a look, and I gave her one back.
Silence.
"It looks fine," she finally said. ". . .How's mine?"
"Perfect." We exchanged grins, linked elbows, and made our way into the circle of people near the corner of the garden next to the door to the bakery, which was propped open to let in the cool air of a wonderful mid-Spring evening.
"Hello, ladies," Jack said kiddingly.
"Hey," Ann answered. I just smiled. I wanted to talk to him about. . .what I had decided that afternoon. "Ooh!" Ann squealed, "Whatcha got there, Jack?"
I then noticed he was sipping what looked like sparkling cider from a champagne glass. A little over the top, I mused with a laugh contained in my head. "Cider," he answered after taking another quick swallow. "It's pretty good. Not sure who made it."
I wanted to say, "Well, if it's really any good, it wasn't made by anybody here," but held my tongue.
"I think I'll go get me some," Kai said, motioning for me to come along.
I inhaled and said, "You go on, I'll be there in a second," which I'm sure made Ann all the more suspicious. She must have been thinking I was into Jack, or that I was cheating on Kai or something silly like that.
I was caught off guard when I looked up and noticed Cliff and Ann had gone with Kai and I was all by my onesies in front of the devilishly handsome Jack. "So, Jack," I began nervously. "How long have you been here?"
"Oh, I haven't even been inside yet. Just got here a few minutes ago. Elli brought me the cider."
I nodded and almost said something dumb like "Cool!" or "Awesome!" Instead I bit my lip and crossed my arms. "Listen. . .Jack. I feel really du - "
"Karen," he interrupted. "You don't have to say anything. I was wrong to guilt-trip you into being friends with me."
WHAT WAS HE DOING?! I did NOT understand this boy. He thought HE was wrong? WHY? I was the one being such a jerk!
"Why do you always do this?" I said, my thoughts bursting into words before I could harness them. When he flashed me a quizzical look, I continued. "Every time I mess up, you spin it around so you'll be the villain. Why?"
"I guess I just feel obligated."
I suddenly remembered that night at the beach a few weeks ago when Jack had found me dancing and quoted a passage from "the God book." ROMANS 1:14, I remembered. "Romans 1:14," I said distantly.
He broke into a grin. "I'm glad you remember that."
"But if I remember correctly," I continued, my voice lightening, "it said you were obligated not to take the blame but to 'reach out.'"
"You're right. I'm sorry for taking the blame."
I rolled my eyes and growled in frustration. "You are just so frustrating, Jack Tandley."
"Well, what do you want me to say? What do you want me to feel?"
"Well, you keep letting me roll you over! Stand up for yourself, you wuss! Cut all this 'I'm so sorry, Karen,' bull and tell me what you really feel."
"That is what I feel!"
"No!" I argued. "It's not. I can see it in your eyes." #In your deep, beautiful, brown eyes. . .#
Jack sighed.
"TELL ME!" I demanded.
"I'M NOT SORRY!" he hollered, throwing his arms in the air. Good thing we were the only ones left in the garden now. Even though the door was open, the music was blaring so loud that nobody inside could hear us. "And I really wish you'd just listen to what I have to say instead of making up excuses to get out of it! I want you to hear it for your own good, 'cause I love you!"
I had been happily listening to his outburst until I heard the L-Bomb. Recoiling in surprise, I raised my eyebrows at him until he explained.
He lowered his arms to his sides and tried desperately to catch his breath. "In a very, very platonic way!"
"Aw, Jack!" I cried, jumping into his arms with a grin that could light up a dungeon. "I love you in a very, very platonic way, too!"
He laughed warmly and returned my embrace whole-heartedly. "Good. So I guess you could classify us as real good friends, eh?"
"I think so," I answered, not pulling away for a full minute. "You give real good hugs, Jack."
"So do you," Jack answered, fingering my hair and leaning his head against my own.
We rocked back and forth for a few seconds before I playfully giggled, "And I'm comin' to y'all's Bible study tomorrow!" With that, I skipped into the bakery and left him standing outside hollering thanks at the sky.
Inside, I found an enormous crowd of people under dim lights. Many of the villagers were having a blast on the sparkling hardwood dance floor to a relatively new popular song blaring from borrowed speakers. White crete paper hung from the ceiling and walls. Duke was busy behind the bar fixing cider after cider, soda after soda. Apparently he was being paid to work here instead of the bar tonight.
"There you are!" Kai said, pushing through the mass of people, a great few of whom were going outside to escape the loud music and claustrophobia. "Where have you been?"
I wasn't afraid or ashamed to tell him the truth. "Just having a little heart to heart with Jack."
Kai smiled warmly. "I didn't tell you how pretty you look tonight. I was going to at your house, but then Gray started - "
"Gray!" I shrieked. "Wonder how he's doin'!"
"Oh," Kai laughed, "don't worry. We've been monitoring him all night. He hasn't made a move yet. Me, Ann, and Cliff think he's aiming to ask her to dance when a good slow song comes on."
I giggled and began jumping up and down when I realized that a really dancey techno song was playing. "C'mon!" I yelled to him over the music. "Let's dance!"
Kai and I were excellent dancers, even to such noisy music as this. At several points during the song, we were in the center of the dance floor, having a great time showing off. Finally, when the song ended and a really stupid one came on, we left the dance floor and I ventured off to find Popuri. But I was too slow, and the stupid song was abruptly stopped so Popuri's father could tell everyone to gather round for cake and the happy birthday song.
oOo
"So you're going to Popuri's house now, right?" Kai asked me at the end of the party. It was approximately midnight, and the majority of the villagers had gone home. Only a few of us kids remained, along with Duke, Granny Ellen, and Popuri's parents.
"Well, I'll walk home with you," I said. "I need to grab my PJ's and stuff."
"See ya in a minute, Karen!" Elli and Ann said, walking across the path in the direction of Florist Lillia.
"See y'all!" I called back as Kai and I began the quick walk home. When we reached the crossroads alone, he took my hand.
"Ooh," he said after a second. "Your fingers are cold."
"Yours are warm," I replied, smiling bashfully.
"Do you like when I touch you, Karen?" he asked. I was a little caught off guard, so he gave me extra time to think by saying, "When I hold your hand or wrap my arm around you?"
"I love it," I said truthfully. We were already approaching the house. I knew Mother and Dad were already inside and getting ready for bed.
"I love it, too," he said, "but I just don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything."
"Well, it's just a little weird in front of my mother," I confessed as he opened and held the door for me. I was already standing by the stairs, and he was closing the door slowly. I could tell by his body language that he wanted me to invite him upstairs.
Not for the reasons you are thinking of, though.
"You wanna. . ." I began, "help me pack some stuff?"
"Sure," he answered, letting out a breath of relief. He followed me up the steps and into my bedroom. "It's been a while since I've been up here."
"I know," I said in reply. There was a brief silence in which I was retrieving my small gym bag from the bathroom closet and Kai was looking at a few pictures I had hanging on the wall next to the door.
When I started rummaging around in my chest of drawers, Kai inquired, "What can I do?"
"You can bring me my toothbrush and hairbrush from the drawer in the bathroom counter. And my straightening iron should be somewhere on top of the counter, too."
He obediently retrieved them and put them in the bag, which I had placed on top of the cabinet next to the door. I was standing in front of my bureau, next to my bed, and while walking back in my direction, Kai playfully pretended to trip and fall on me, causing us both to collapse onto my bed. Of course, I ended up beneath him, laughing and squirming, acting like I was trying to escape his enticing kisses. In truth, I was enjoying the heat of his body lying atop mine.
His playful kisses started on my cheeks and ears but eventually made their way down to my neck. At this point, everything suddenly became serious. We stopped smiling. I knew he wouldn't dare to try anything, not after the conversation we'd had the other night. But I still felt as though. . .
As though this kind of thing was just like having sex. And I'm not saying I wasn't enjoying it. It was a kind of sign. The way that Kai kissed me confirmed that he adored me. And the way that I did not resist confirmed that I adored him.
But when his hands began to wander, I began to panic. His open hand slid from my shoulder to my neck, and I had a good idea where its next destination would be.
I realized my feet were dangling from the bed and slid down a little until they touched the ground. Kai was surprised when I stood, pushing both of us up onto our feet. "Don't do that," I said.
"But you just got done telling me that you like it whe - "
"Well, I didn't realize we were talking about my breasts!"
We both stood still for a minute, our chests heaving as we caught up with our breath. "I'm sorry, Kai, but I just. . .I'm not ready for any of that yet."
"No, I'm sorry," he said. "I'm not either."
I arched my eyebrows, confused.
He saw the inquiry in my eyes and explained, "I just gave in to temptation. Karen, you don't even know how beautiful you are. You don't even know how much I. . .I THIRST for you. Every time I kiss you, it's just so. . .perfectly passionate that I - "
"I know, Kai," I murmured, my voice barely above the volume of a whisper. "I know. I know 'cause I feel the same way. But think about it this way. Think of how the longer we wait, the more amazing it will be when we're both truly ready for that kind of passion. Lust isn't enough, Kai."
He nodded, looking sullenly at the floor.
"Look at me, Kai," I said, stepping close to him. "I like you. . .a lot. A whole lot. That's why I'm with you. But we need to cover some ground, put some land behind us if we're ever gonna find ourselves in true, deep, HONEST love." I touched his face with my fingertips and gently kissed his lips. The purest kiss we had yet shared was the kiss that lasted mere seconds.
He wrapped me in his arms and cradled my head similarly to the way Jack had earlier that evening.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Kai."
oOoOoOo
A note from the author: Well! Another lusty chapter. It didn't quite blow ME away, so I really understand if you were not remotely impressed. Like I said: feel FREE to tell me I need to get my act together if I do. It's extremely hard for me to judge my own writing because I'm either biast or too hard on myself. Let's get a few solid, constructive reviews please!