Quote of the Day:
Jonouchi: Those who laughed at yo-yo's shall cry at yo-yo's!
Honda: Whatever that means…
--Yu-Gi-Oh manga, Volume 6
Riiiiiight. You know what I just noticed? I use Japanese names for some of the characters and the dubbed names for others. Yeah, cuz that's just how good I am! So deal with it. :-p
Heh, sorry for the month it took me to update. I've been busy. Blame school!
Previously on Marik's Boring Day…Yami and Bakura had gotten into an anime-dust-cloud-fight. Marik was stalking Kaiba. Yugi and Ryou, the only sane ones in this story (well, more or less) then got into an argument over who started their yami's fight and got into a dust-cloud-fight themselves! Craziness, I tell you, craziness!
---Chapter 7: The Curse Of The Drunken Pirate!---
Standing with his jaw hanging slightly opened in awe, Yami watched as his hikari and Ryou went at it. "Well, Tomb Robber," he said, clearing his throat. "If our hikaris can fight, I suppose we can forget our differences for the time being."
"WOOOO!" came Bakura's reply, as he too watched the fragile looking hikaris pummel each other. "YEAH RYOU! KICK HIS GOODY-TOO-SHOES ASS!" It was then that his mind registered what Yami had said. "Er…I mean…Yes, Pharaoh. I suppose we could do that." So the two shook hands and turned to watch their lights duke it out.
Jonouchi balled up his fist, pretending it was a microphone, and started commentating. "And they're throwing punches left and right--Oh! That's gotta hurt! Yugi just got nailed by Ryou's right-hook! He may look scrawny, but he has a mean right-hook!"
Bakura threw a bag of popcorn at Jonouchi. "My hikari is NOT scrawny!"
Catching the airborne bag, Jonouchi began popping pieces of the popped corn into his mouth as he commentated. "Yugi gets him back with a right-hook of his own! Doesn't look like it packed much of a punch though…Let me take this opportunity to remind everyone that bets are being taken now by Seto."
Bakura ran up to a sullen looking Seto and pulled out a wad of money. "Fifty bucks on Ryou to win!" he shouted, pushing the money at the brooding brunette.
Yami shoved the tomb robber out of the way and pushed his own money at Seto. "No! fifty on Yugi to win!"
"Yeah, right," Bakura scoffed. "My hikari's gonna win."
"No!" Yami shouted. "Mine is!"
Seto sweatdropped and took their money. "Yeah, yeah, whatever."
"Huh, think your puny hikari's gonna beat mine?" Bakura muttered under his breath as he turned away. He slipped past Kaiba and bumped Yami with his hip, making the Pharaoh overbalance and fall right into the CEO. He then laughed hysterically as he left the red-faced Pharaoh in a very awkward situation.
Also a bit red in the face, Kaiba righted Yami. "Er…"
"I'm…Going to watch Yugi…" Yami dashed off, and settled for glaring at the tomb robber.
"Looks like this fight won't last much longer!" Jonouchi said into his "mic," still stuffing popcorn into his face. "Oh! Oh! Yugi's got Ryou by the hair! Ryou doesn't look too happy about that…What will he do?!" Suddenly, he winced. "OH! THAT'S GOTTA HURT! And with a swift kick to the groin, Ryou wins!"
Yugi let out a loud squeal, sounding very much like a sick animal being forced to live the last few moments of its life in a powered-up blender. Two officers from Animal Planet's Animal Cops just happened to be in the neighborhood and set out to investigate, but were hindered by a pack of sugar-high squirrels.
"AAAAHHH!" cried anonymous animal cop #1. "THE SQUIRRELS!!! THEY'RE GOING TO EEEEEAAAAAATTTT MEEEEEEEE!!!!!"
And so the two animal cops died a gruesome and horrible death. Oh well. No big deal. Now back to the story.
"Yugi! No!" Yami cried. "I just lost fifty bucks…" Tears formed in his eyes at the thought of losing so much money as his hikari groaned and wheezed on the sidewalk.
"Ryou!" Jonouchi's eyes were wide as he eyed his friend up and down, making sure it really was Ryou and not Bakura.
"Wow…Ryou…" Seto's eyes were wide as well. Though he eyed Ryou with mounting respect instead of suspicion.
Bakura also looked surprised. "Wow, Ryou! I never knew you could fight so dirty! I'm impressed!"
Blushing, Ryou looked down in embarrassment. "Well…yeah…"
"Whatever." Seto pushed the money at Bakura. "Here," he said apathetically. "Congrats."
Bakura laughed and shoved the money in Yami's face. "Ha! I took the Pharaoh's money! The Almighty Tomb Robber Extraordinaire strikes again! Mwahaha!"
"Yeah, yeah," Yami muttered. "But you didn't steal the money, so that means you're losing your touch! Ha!"
"What?!" Bakura exclaimed. "I am not! I can rob tombs a lot better than you can rule Egypt!" He shook his fist at the Pharaoh.
Meanwhile, Marik was lurking in the nearby shadows. "Now's my chance!" he whispered while petting his 'Precious.' "He's totally off guard!" So he ran from the shadows and lunged at the CEO from behind. "DIE, THICK-SKULLED LOSER!" He then proceeded to beat Kaiba senseless…
…Or, at least, that's what he tried to do…
"Hey!" Kaiba shouted. "OW! GET-OW!-OFF! But the flailing Egyptian didn't seem to be listening.
"Kaiba!" Jonouchi cried. "I'll save you!"
"Kaiba!" Yami cried at the same time as Jonouchi. "I'll save you!"
Yugi and Ryou stared at each other and sweatdropped.
Flipping Marik over his shoulder and flinging him to the side like a wet noodle, Kaiba scoffed. "Yeah. You can't take me. The only reason you got me last time was because you caught me by surprise with your Millennium Rod." And he continued to scoff some more.
"Ouch!" the unconscious Marik said…Well, before he was unconscious.
"Seto," Yami said in amazement. "That was amazing…"
Kaiba glared at his dueling rival. "Who said you could call me Seto?"
"Well…I…" the Pharaoh began, "er…sorry?"
"Seto! Are you ok?" Jonouchi asked worriedly.
"Hey!" Yami exclaimed. 'How come he can call you Seto and I can't?"
"He can't," Kaiba snapped. "My name is Kaiba, get it straight."
"That was still pretty cool," Ryou said quietly from the side.
Kaiba only shrugged. "He could never take me. We're in totally different leagues."
Quickly losing interest in this conversation, Yugi put his hands in his pockets…and felt a small round piece of fabric. "Huh? What's this?" He pulled the unknown object out and saw it was an eyepatch – Noa's discarded eyepatch from Chapter 4. "Hmmm…Eyepatch…."
"Huh?" Ryou asked, noticing the object in the short, spiky duelist's hand. "What's that?"
"Noa's eyepatch," came Yugi's reply.
"What are you going to do with that?" Ryou asked warily.
Yugi only grinned and put it on.
"Yugi! No!" Ryou cried. He shrugged. "Wait, why do I care?" He walked back over to everyone else.
"Why do I feel strange all of a sudden?" Yugi said woozily. "I feel…Dizzy…and…like…singing?" O.o
"Yugi?" Yami, finally noticing his hikari, asked concerned. "What's wrong?"
Yugi didn't answer.
"Yugi?" Upon closer inspection, Yami noticed the eyepatch. "Yugi? Why are you wearing an eyepatch?"
Still no answer.
"Yugi?"
A whisper. "Yo…ho…"
"What?" Yami asked.
"Yo ho…"
"…"
"Yo ho!" Yugi shouted, a deranged grin spreading over his chibi-like face.
Yami took a step back. "What happened to Yugi?"
All of a sudden, a mysterious figure dressed in black came out of the shadows. Yes, there were a lot of shadows despite the fact that it was noon and the sun was at its highest peak, making it impossible for so many shadows to be around. Anyway, this mysterious figure was wearing black armor, a black cape, and a black mask, complete with the fiery red eyes that seem to make Hell look like Alaska. His clothing wasn't just black either. No, his clothes seem to suck up all the light like a black hole, leaving only fear and despair behind. Yes, he looked very frightening indeed.
"I know what is wrong with your friend," said the mysterious figure, in a woman's deep voice – that is, a woman trying to sound like a man, making her sound even more suspicious than she already looked.
"What's wrong?" Yami demanded. "Tell me!"
Sliding closer to the newcomer, Jonouchi cautiously extended a finger and poked an armor-clad shoulder. "Who are you?"
The mysterious figure coughed conspicuously. "Er…No one! No one you'd know, at least! Nope, no one at all." With that, the figure started whistling nonchalantly, sounding conspicuously inconspicuous.
"I know who you are," Seto – er, Kaiba said quietly from the side.
"No you don't!" the figure said, whistling abruptly stopped. "You have no idea who I am! I was never in the Battle City Tournament, what are you talking about?!"
The attractive, and until this moment temporarily forgotten, CEO sweatdropped. "It must be Ishizu," he continued, drawing gasps from all.
"GASP! WTF?!"
Kaiba only shrugged. "Why not? She hasn't been in this fic yet. And the gods know, she sure is insane enough to fit in."
Everyone nodded. "True."
Jonouchi stepped behind the figure. "Now, let's see who he really is!" he said in his Freddy (from Scooby Doo) imitation. He pulled off the mask. "Gasp! It is Ishizu!"
"Yes!" Ishizu said, breaking free of Jonouchi's grasp. "It is I!"
"Where did you get the black clothes?" Bakura asked, fingering the black cloak and eyeing all the various sharp and pointy weapons the Egyptian woman was carrying.
Ishizu shrugged. "From him." She pointed to a crumpled Ringwraith that had been hastily stuffed under a shrub, the creature's legs still sticking out. "He wandered into the Yu-Gi-Oh part from the LOTR section. So I beat him up and took his clothes."
Bakura grinned. "Interesting. And do all these…Ringwraps have pointy knives concealed all over their bodies?"
Pushing the Tomb Robber aside, Yami faced Ishizu. "What's wrong with Yugi?!"
"It is the Curse of the Eyepatch!" she said very seriously. "I have foreseen this event, using my Millennium Necklace!" The Necklace began to glow.
"Did you know you say Millennium Necklace in just about everyone of your sentences in the show?" Ryou asked innocently.
Ishizu nodded. "Yes, the magic of my Millennium Necklace told me you would say something like that!" The Necklace glowed again.
Ryou sweatdropped.
"What is the Curse of the Eyepatch?" Yami asked.
"Because Yugi awoke the ancient evil in that eyepatch," Marik's elder sister began, "he will now suffer the curse of the drunken pirate and be forced to sing the Pirates of the Caribbean song for all of eternity! Nothing else will he be able to think of, only Yo Ho, Yo Ho! A Pirate's Life For Me!" She paused. "Oh, and the end of the world might come about very soon or something…But that's not new news, right?"
"WHAT?!" Yami cried. "NO! NOT THE PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN SONG AGAIN!!!"
Ryou eyed Yami like he was some crazy three thousand year old Egyptian…which he was… "What about all that stuff she said about the end of the world? Aren't you worried about that?"
"Huh?" Yami looked at him blankly for a moment. "Oh, yeah, right! I'm the main character of the show so I have to go around saving the world!" He paused. "I need a new job."
"You could put in an application at Burger World!" a familiar voice said.
"…That voice sounded familiar…And I'm pretty sure it held a negative connotation."
Anzu walked by, too interested in drawing her smiley faces of friendship all over everything to notice her "friends."
"Hey, I just noticed something," Jonouchi said. "How come in Ishizu's description, it said "he"? I mean Ishizu is a she…Isn't she?"
Everyone turned to look at Ishizu suspiciously.
"What?" Ishizu burst out. "I'm a girl!"
Still, they continued to stare at her dubiously.
"…"
Luckily for Ishizu, Honda and Otogi chose that opportunity to walk by, drawing everyone's attention to them.
"Hey guys," Otogi said, playing with his now returned dice.
"Yeah, hey," Honda said. Everything seemed normal…Except for that fact that Honda had his arm around Otogi.
Bakura burst out laughing. "HAHAHA! POINTY BROWN HAIRED GUY AND DICE BOY….ARE LOVERS!!!!!"
Honda and Otogi immediately paled. "We are not!" Otogi said as he took a step away from Honda, who stepped away as well.
"Hey Ishizu, longtime no see!" Honda said, spotting Marik's sister.
Otogi turned to glare at Honda. "I step away for one minute and you're flirting with some girl! God, Honda, stop cheating on meeee!" And with that he ran away in tears.
"Otogi!" Honda cried out. "I just said hi! Wait! Otogi! I LOVE YOU!" So he ran after Otogi, who turned around and flicked his dice at the brunette. Of course, it turned into another big chase scene, but hey, couldn't you describe love as just that anyway?
Ishizu sniffed indignantly. "I'm leaving." She disappeared into thin air.
"I always knew there was something weird about her," Jonouchi said thoughtfully.
Marik would have said something had he not been unconscious.
Suddenly, a flying saucer (And not as in the kind that goes with a teacup) landed in front of everyone, nearly crushing Jonouchi!
"AAAAH!" Jonouchi yelled, jumping out of the way, just escaping death, which got Death very angry because everyone who's seen Final Destination knows Death has a plan. "Hey, who's idea was it for me to get hit by a UFO?!"
Yami might have answered, but he was too busy drooling over Kaiba with little hearts floating around his head.
A hatch on the front of the space ship popped open and two green aliens slithered out. They weren't scary so much as weird; they each had four tentacles and five yellow eyes. Everyone gasped and jumped back in disgust or shock, except for Kaiba who wasn't fazed by anything and Bakura who was playing with a sharp object he had stolen from Ishizu.
"We have come to take over your pathetic planet. Resistance is futile," Alien Dude One said.
"All your base are belong to us," Alien Dude Two said.
Alien Dude One nodded, if that was possible, for he didn't seem to have any separation between his head and shoulders. "Yes, I did notice that. Why don't we have proper names?"
Out of the blue, Flashback Guy and Random Dude came riding in on Drumsticks.
"Join the club," Flashback Guy said.
"Yeah, just look at our names!" Flashback Dude added bitterly.
So Flashback Guy tossed Alien Dudes One and Two official club jackets and they rode off.
"…Riiiiiiiiight…" said pretty much everyone.
"Anyway," Alien Dude One said, "Surrender now or we shall demolish you and your puny planet with our superior weaponry and intelligence." He then held up a stick. "Fear our ingenious weapon designs!"
Alien Dude Two nodded. "All your base are belong to us." He too held up a stick.
The Earthlings sweatdropped. Even Kaiba and Bakura, who had accidentally stabbed himself with the knife and later had it executed for treason.
"Now we shall blow up your planet using this…planet…blowing up…device…thing…" Alien Dude One said, throwing a small metal box at them, which landed at their feet with a thump.
THUMP.
Raising an eyebrow, Kaiba leaned forward a bit. "And how exactly does this work?" he asked skeptically.
Grinning, Alien Dude one said proudly, "Well, when I push this button," he held up a small red button, "this planet and everyone on it will blow up. And be…no more…" He lapsed into unintelligent cackling.
"All your base…" Alien Dude Two began.
"Shut up!" Alien Dude One interrupted. Then, with a glance at Kaiba, he pushed the button.
The Planet Blowing Up Device Thing began blinking and beeping.
"HAHA!" Alien Dude One laughed in victory. "Goodbye, Earthlings!"
As everyone else cowered, Kaiba only smirked. "But if this box will make this planet blow up, and you are currently on this planet, won't you blow up too?"
"Ummm…" the extra-terrestrial stopped to think about it for a moment. "Blast it! He's right! I thought you said this planet was populated by morons!!!"
"All your base are belong to us," came Alien Dude Two's reply.
Alien Dude One paused. "True…But we have to get out of here! Quickly! Flee!"
And, unable to refuse Kaiba's irrefutable logic, the two aliens returned to their ship and flew away, never to return again. Except maybe for a burger. Turns out Alien Dude 2 had a soft spot for fast-food.
Still, the Planet Blowing Up Device Thing kept beeping and blinking.
"Panic time! We're all gonna die!!!!" Jonouchi began running around in circles, tears flooding like rivers down his face.
Kaiba shrugged slightly. "Well…Seems that way…" Though he did sweatdrop at the blonde's overreaction.
Yami clenched his eyes shut and grabbed onto the closest thing to him – Kaiba, who sweatdropped even harder.
"Yo Ho!" Yugi said cheerfully with that deranged grin.
Again, Marik would have said something, but he was still unconscious.
Bakura grabbed Ryou and held him close to him. "Ryou, if we're going to die, I have to tell you something."
Doubting if Bakura could die -- he was a spirit, after all, didn't that make him already dead? – Ryou kept his thought to himself, wanting to hear what his yami would say.
"AIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" Yami squealed, clutching harder to Kaiba, who was finding it hard to breathe by now.
"Ryou," Bakura began, " I…lov-"
Just as Bakura was about to tell this important secret to Ryou, the Planet Blowing Up Device Thing gave one final loud beep. Everyone turned to stare at the little box when nothing happened. Unfortunately, the box didn't like being stared at…
. "Stop staring at meeee!!!" it yelled before surrounding them all in a blinding white light.
Then, all hell breaks loose…But that's a different story! In this story, our heroes now find themselves separated…
"We're all gonna die!!!!!" Jonouchi yelled, having continued his blind panicking once the light…well…blinded him. "Oh wait, I already said that…" So he stopped running around and took a look at his surroundings. "Hmm…Weird…I wonder where everyone else is? And why am I sitting in sand?
Yugi groaned.
"Oh, hey, Yug!" Jonouchi cried in glee, glad to have the company of his best friend once again. "Glad you're here!
" Yo ho…" the spiky duelist mumbled.
Jonouchi sweatdropped.
Elsewhere…
"Seto!" Yami cried. "Seto are you alright?!"
"Ugh…" the CEO groaned. "My head…I hit it on this…Pyramid?!" O.o
"Oh! Poor you!" Yami said, moving closer to 'inspect the bump on his head.'
" …Yami?" Kaiba asked, trying to move back but unable to. Why, you might ask. Well, maybe because Yami had 'accidentally' landed on the CEO's chest in their fall. Coincidence? I think not…"Could you get off me now?"
Yami feigned innocence. "Oh…I guess I 'accidentally' landed on you when we fell here…Hehehe…" However, he made no move whatsoever to get up.
Kaiba sweatdropped. "Ra, help me…"
And Elsewhere still…
"Ugh…" Bakura groaned, disentangling himself from his hikari. "Luckly we landed on something soft…What did we land in, anyway? What? Sand?" He looked up. "Pyramids? Ra, don't tell me we're in…"
Ryou nodded, guessing his unfinished thought. "Yup. Egypt, by the look of it."
Suddenly, Bakura froze. "Oh no…"
"What?" an alarmed Ryou asked.
" I've got…"
" …"
He turned to his hikari tearfully. "SAND IN MY HAIR!!!!"
Ryou sweatdropped. "Ra help us all."
Once again, Marik's unconsciousness prevented him from making a comment. Poor guy.
END
Oh that phrase All your base are belong to us is pretty popular. I don't own it though. So there.
Um, and I don't know if there really is a show on Animal Planet called Animal Cops. It just sounded good at the time.
What was Bakura about to tell Ryou? Why does The Planet Blowing Up Device Thing hate being stared at? Why in Ra's name is everyone in Egypt? WILL BAKURA EVER GET ALL THAT SAND OUT OF HIS HAIR?!?! Tune in next time to find out! And, as always, drop a review at the door! ALL of you! Yes, my mindslaves! Even you! (Cackles)