w00t! Next chapter!

Random story of the day: I have these dangly earrings with ankhs on the end. Someone said I looked like Marik today because of them. Hehe. Eventhough I think it was Odion/Rishid with the ankh earrings. Oh well. I have dangly dice earrings too! Sometimes I wear one and people are all like "Yay! Duke Devlin!" and that same person who commented on my ankh earrings is all, "Take the dice out, you're not Otogi!"

Here's another random story: My cat likes tearing pictures off of my closet doors (where there are a lot of random pictures…) I recently put a bunch of anime pictures up from a magazine (from a bunch of different shows). The ONLY one she ripped down was a picture of Inu Yasha, a DOG demon. I thought it was kinda funny…

Disclaimer: No.

On with the madness…

---Chapter 8: Pyramids, Glomping, and Sand in Bakura's Hair---

Ryou looked around his surroundings in wonder. "Wow! Lookit the pyramids! Do you see 'em, 'Kura? See 'em? They're so big! And…pointy! See 'em?"

Bakura, who was carrying an unconscious Marik on his back, seemed uninterested. "Yeah, yeah. Seen 'em, robbed 'em. Pointy. Wow." He readjusted the comatose Marik on his back. "Hey, why do I have to carry sleeping beauty here, anyhow?"

"Cuz you're so much bigger and stronger than me, 'Kura!" Then he gave the tomb robber his cutest smile.

The thief looked like he was going to gag. "Ugh, he gave me a cute nickname. 'Kura' doesn't exactly strike fear into the hearts of mortals. I mean, back in my day, everyone, even the big beefy palace guards shuddered at my name. I mean, if they saw me now, I'd be a laughingstock, a complete laughingstock!"

Ryou gave him sad puppy-dog eyes.

"Ah! Not the puppy-dog eyes! It's just…too…CUTE! Fine! Call me 'Kura. Call me banana for all I care!"

Ryou giggled. "Ok, banana."

Bakura sweatdropped.

"Now that we're in you're homeland, you can tell me stories about your childhood and we can visit all the places you used to hang out as a kid and you can show me all the pyramids you've robbed…Speaking of pyramid robbing, I bet there are a lot of archeologists here. Maybe my dad's in one of those pyramids right now!" His tone became bitter. "Don't know how I'd recognize him. Haven't seen the bloody sod for Ra knows how long."

The thief stopped. "Ok Ryou, calm down. You're getting a little too excited. When you get excited you slip into that godawful half-assed British accent. Oh, and FYI, I've robbed ALL of these pyramids. Impressed?"

The British (or so says he) teen shook his head. "No. Stealing is bad."

Bakura sweatdropped.

Marik probably would have too, but alas, our main character was still out cold.

--

Meanwhile, Yami and Kaiba were wondering where everyone else was.

"Gee, I wonder where everyone else is," Yami said to Kaiba.

"They're probably around here somewhere. I suppose we should go find them." To himself, he muttered, "Gods know, I don't want to be alone with you any longer."

"What was that?"

Clearing his throat, Kaiba said, "I said 'Let's go.' Watch out for pyramids though. They're dangerous."

And so the two reluctant travel companions (or maybe Kaiba was the only reluctant one) began walking in a random direction. Why? Well, because the pyramids were really the only landmarks to go by. There were no people, though if there were, both of them were too proud to ask for directions. So they set off.

"I wonder if Yugi's ok," Yami mused aloud.

"Awww, worried about your hikari?" Kaiba asked in a sarcastic tone. "How sweet. Note the sarcasm."

The Pharaoh turned to him. "Well, Seto, I'd be worried about you if I didn't know where you were…"

Kaiba's eyes went wide.

Yami shifted uncomfortably. "Yeah, well, Seto…The thing is…I…like you…"

Kaiba's eyes went wider as he started walking faster away from the Pharaoh.

"Maybe 'like' isn't the right word…" Yami corrected. "More like 'lust'…Yeah."

That was the last straw. The proud, fearless CEO of the multibillion dollar Kaiba Corp broke into a run.

"Seto!" Yami called. "Wait! We should stay together!"

"No thanks!" Kaiba called back over his shoulder

"No, I mean it's dangerous out there if you're alone!"

Kaiba stopped running and turned around. "I think I'd rather face the most dangerous conditions of the desert than stay here and listen to how you…like…me…" He shuddered.

"Lust," Yami corrected.

Kaiba sweatdropped as he started backing away from the lusting Pharaoh.

"Seto! Wait!"

Kaiba shook his head violently.

"No! Watch out for that-"

BANG!

OOOOH!

"Pyramid," Yami finished as he shook his head.

Kaiba's eyes were all swirly. "Thanks…for the…warning…" He passed out.

"Seto!" The Pharaoh rushed over to his fallen rival. "Seto? My poor, poor Seto." He sat down and cradled the CEO's head in his lap.

Suddenly, the ground began to tremble! The shaking appeared to be coming from the pyramid that Kaiba had literally 'run into'.

"Who dares disturb my slumber?!" a deep, yet familiar voice demanded.

"Why does that voice sound so familiar?" Yami glanced down at Kaiba, but the unconscious teen's face held no answers.

"Hello?! I know you're out there!" the voice shouted. "Answer me, Ra damnit! It's rude not to answer a question directed at you!"

Silence.

"Curses! I shall go out there and destroy you!"

A shadowy figure emerged through the wall of the pyramid. Though Yami could clearly see every detail of his clothes – the long purple robes embroided in gold, the tall headdress – the man was transparent, and Yami could see the individual cracks between the yellowed bricks of the pyramid.

"Nice hat!" Yami cried in glee.

The man, who looked very familiar, sweatdropped.

"I mean, who are you? And why are you dressed as a high priest? And…WHOA! You look just like Seto! Wait! Set????"

"My Pharaoh?" the man, who sounded like Kaiba, asked in startled manner. "Well, it's been a while, hasn't it?"

Yami nodded. "Yeah, it has! What's up with my favorite high priest?! Hey, this isn't your pyramid…"

"No," Set agreed. I was just borrowing it." He paused and sniffed. "I didn't get a pyramid.

"I didn't get one either…I was buried in the Valley of the Kings…I think…I don't really remember…Maybe…" He knocked on the pyramid. "Yo, body, you in there?"

"…"

"Nope," Yami said, straightening up. "Guess I'm not in there. What?" he asked when he noticed Set was staring at him strangely.

Set shook his head. "Nothing. Hey…You still don't…like…me, do you?"

Yami didn't answer at once. "I think 'lust' would be a better word."

Looking down, Set sweatdropped. That was when he noticed the unconscious billionaire. "Whoa!" the high priest exclaimed. "Who's he? He looks just like me! At least, he looks like what I remember me looking like…Haven't really looked into a mirror for a couple of thousand years…"

Yami nodded. "Yeah, that's Seto. He's you."

"He's me? But…I'm me…"

"Well, yeah, but you're dead."

Gasping, Set cried, "What?! I'm dead?!"

"Well, yeah…We lived thousands of years ago, remember? Though that exact number seems hard to find these days, between the dubs and the original…"

"Oh yeah. Guess I forgot. Damn dubs."

Yami sweatdropped. "Anyway, he's you…in the future…Your future self…You're his past self…That is, you're the same people…Just in different time frames? Er…You getting any of this?"

Set shook his head. "Not a word of it." He leaned closer to Kaiba. "He's so…pale…Hey, so are you. You guys sick?"

"No, people are pale in Japan, I guess."

Suddenly, Kaiba started mumbling in his sleep. "MMmmmmMm…Blue Eyes White Dragon…White Lightning Attack! Obliterate them all…My…Great…Beast…"

Set raised an eyebrow and leaned closer to the CEO's face, trying to verify that this sleeping person really was him.

"No!" Kaiba moaned. "Not…Exodia...!"

Set leaned even closer to Kaiba's face; now they were mere inches apart. He had said something about the Blue Eyes White Dragon, Set's monster.

"YAMI, GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!!!" the comatose CEO shouted, writhing in his sleep.

Yami's eyes went wide. "I didn't touch him!" the Pharaoh said defensively.

Set's eyes narrowed. "You've been hitting on him, haven't you?!"

"Well…" Yami stammered. "Uhhh…."

"So when I'm not around you just go bothering my future self…Er…Reincarnation?"

Frowning, Yami asked, "Isn't that a flower?"

"No, Pharaoh dear, you're thinking of a carnation, a perennial plant of the pink family with fringed petals, widely grown for its fragrant white, pink, or red flowers often smelling of cloves. Microsoft® Encarta® Reference Library 2004. © 1993-2003 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved."

"Hmm, copyright too, huh? Nice touch."

Set shrugged. "Yeah, well, don't want to get sued."

Kaiba rolled over in his sleep. "Mmmm, white rice…sticky white rice…"

Yami and Set stared at each other in confusion.

"I can cook. I'm a great cook. I do make my own Pokemon food. Yup, I'm gonna be a Pokemon breeder one day. You're pretty, wanna be my girlfriend?" (AN: Hopefully you all know that the guy who does Kaiba's English dub also does Brock's dub in Pokemon)

Yami and Set exchanged one more confused look before turning back to Kaiba.

"Yami…" A small smile spread over his lips. "Do that again…"

"Gods." Set covered his face in embarrassment. "He can't be my reincarnation…"

Yami winked at him. "Oh but he is. Which means you must share similar feelings about me!"

Set shoved him. "You wish."

Kaiba gave a shudder then woke up. "YAAAAAWN…Ow, my head…" He stretched and opened his eyes. That was when he saw Set leaning over him. "AHHHHH!"

Set jumped back onto Yami. "AHHHHH!"

Smirking, Yami held the surprised priest. "See? I told you! Shouldn't deny your feelings, my dear priest."

The priest glared at his Pharaoh.

"Who are you?!" Kaiba asked, his eyes slightly wide in shock.

"I am Set, High Priest of the Millennium Rod, sworn to protect my Pharaoh with my Millennium Item and my own life if need be." Set recited.

Yami giggled. "I'm that Pharaoh!"

Set sweatdropped. "Yes, unfortunately he's the Pharaoh I am sworn to protect with my life."

Kaiba shook his head in pity. "Sorry about that. Hey, how do you get rid of him?"

"I don't know." Set shook his head. "Alas, I could only escape him in death."

"Uh, I'm still here, you know," Yami put in angrily, a tick mark appearing on the side of his face.

Kaiba shook his head in a very Set-like manner. "Wow. Sucks. Well, I'll look it up on the internet when I get home. Someone's gotta know how to get rid of a 3,000 year old Pharaoh."

Yami sat down dejectedly and started drawing doodles in the sand.

"Was it really only 3,000?" the priest asked. "I coulda sworn it was 5,000."

"It might have been," Kaiba said. "I don't think anybody knows. Damn dubs…"

Yami sighed and stood up. "Ok, guys, I think we should go find everyone else now. They may be in danger." He paused. "…And I need to get to other people…You two are depressing me…"

"Everyone else?" Set asked.

Yami nodded. "Yes, friends from my time. Our time. No, not your time. This time. That is, now, the present…Ra, I'm confused…"

"Don't hurt yourself," Kaiba said, eyeing the Pharaoh strangely. "Let's go."

Apparently Yami saw something in that gaze, something he couldn't quite place because he held it until Kaiba shook himself and turned away. Yami shrugged it off and stared to follow the CEO.

Set, who had watched the exchange of stares, knew what it was though. He knew and he smiled, thinking to himself that it would be very fun to stay with them and see how things played out.

--

"I still have sand in my hair!" Bakura cried miserably.

Ryou sweatdropped.

"Do you know how hard it is to keep my hair this perfect shade of white?! Do you know how much I have to brush it everyday to make it semi-presentable?! Do you know how hard sand is to get out of hair?! "

"Yes. Well, maybe not the part about sand…But other than that, yes!"

"So you don't understand! You just don't understand, maaaaaaan!"

"Suck it up!" Ryou snapped.

Bakura's eyes widened. "Hey, I'm supposed to be the evil, scary, sadistic one…"

Ryou pouted. "I can be sadistic if I want to…"

"Hehe."

"…Did you just…giggle…?"

"No."

"Yes, I think you did."

"Prove it!"

Ryou looked at his feet. "I can't."

"HAHA! I WIN!"

The tomb robber was about to do his victory dance when the weight on his back shifted.

"Ugh…" Marik said, reaching a hand up to rub his head. "What happened? Where am I?" He noticed the white, fluffy hair beneath his hands. "Huh? Bakura, is that you?"

"Oh good, you're awake," the tomb robber said cheerfully before cheerfully dropping the Egyptian on his ass.

Said Egyptian hit the ground with a thud. "Owwww…Hey, seriously, where are we? What's with all the sand?" He looked up and noticed the pyramids. "Egypt? I've returned home? Oh Ra, I suppose this means I'll have to visit Uncle Bob, Auntie Beatrice, and Granny now…"

Ryou and Bakura favored him with a funny stare.

"What? As if you don't have weirdo relatives with odd names…"

The hikari and the yami shrugged.

"So, what's the plan?" Marik asked, getting up and brushing the sand off of him. "Gods," he muttered, "I've got sand in my hair. Looks like I'll need to make another appointment with the hairdresser!"

Bakura jerked a thumb at him. "You beat it. You're annoying me."

"Hmmm…I don't think I like that plan…" the Millennium Rod Wielding Psycho said.

"Oh, but I do," the Lighter Wielding Psycho answered.

A slow grin spread across Marik's face. "Wait, do you want me to go so you can be alone with Ryou? Hmmm? So then you two can fondle each other in private?"

"No!" the tomb robber shouted. "Wait, ok, actually, yes. Now get outta here or I'll have to send you off to sleep again!"

"Not if I make you into a mindslave first!" Marik cried, pulling his weapon of choice – the Millennium Rod, of course – out of its belt loop. He swung it in a large arc, where it collided with Bakura's head.

"Bakura!" Ryou, who until this moment had been spacing-out cried.

Bakura stumbled back a step from the force of the blow. Marik smiled, eagerly waiting for the thief's eyes to go blank so he could command him.

"Ow!" Bakura yelled, grasping his head. "That really hurt! You nearly killed me!"

"You bastard!" Ryou added.

"You're already dead," Marik said offhandly. Bakura and Ryou shared an oh0yeah moment. "But why doesn't my Millennium Rod work?"

The wind picked up, blowing the sand across the desert, blocking out the view of the not-so-distant pyramids. A low whistling reached their ears, a whistling that sounded like someone was whistling the theme from The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. The three looked towards the sound.

A man on horseback – ponyback, rather – emerged from the swirling sand.

"Flashback Guy!" The three cried in unison.

Flashback Guy dismounted. "Yup, we just had to make an appearance in this chapter." Drumsticks snorted his agreement. "Yeah, but I don't suppose there are any TVs around here, are there?"

"No, you buffoon, we're in the middle of the desert," Bakura snapped.

"Well excuuuuuse me. Damn, now I can't do my job! I need a TV, damnit!"

Someone sighed behind him. "The Millennium Rod doesn't work because Marik hit Kaiba in the head with it, remember?"

Flashback Guy turned around. "That's right, but…Hey, Random Dude! What are you doing here?"

Random Dude snorted. "I haven't the foggiest. Want to take me home now that I've done your job for you?"

"Hmmm, well you didn't really do it since we didn't show the tape…but ok." He climbed up onto Drumsticks and held out his hand, which Random Dude grabbed. "But you get to do the paperwork for this one," he muttered as he pulled Random Dude up and they rode off into the not-sunset.

"…"

"Oh yeah!" Marik shouted. "Damn you, Seto Kaiba! Revenge!"

"Revenge this!" Bakura slammed into Marik back, bringing him to the ground. (AN: What is it about Egypt and my stories that makes everyone tackle each other?!)

"AHH!" Marik cried as he was tackled.

Ryou began laughing hysterically.

"What are you laughing at?" Bakura asked from his position on Marik's back.

"You two are so immature."

Bakura and Marik paused to stare at each other. With a shrug, they went back to fighting.

Ryou sweatdropped and sat down a ways away from them.

"HAHA!" Marik cried as he flipped Bakura over, ending up on top of the tomb robber.

"No fair!" he cried, struggling. "Get offa me! GET OFF! Whoa…" He suddenly stopped moving.

"What?" Marik asked, looking down at his captive curiously.

"You're on top of me…If you look at the way things are going…someone…maybe Ryou…might get the absurd idea…that we're going to start…well…making-out…"

"…"

Marik suddenly leaned down and pressed his face to Bakura's. Bakura struggled, but discovered that he really didn't mind what the blond was doing and went with it. The tomb robber rolled over so he was on top. Marik made a growling noise in his throat and flipped them back over. Soon, it was an all-out fight for dominance.

Ryou only laughed all the harder.

Just then, Kaiba and Set, led by their favorite Pharaoh, appeared over the closest sand dune.

"Yup, see?" said Pharaoh was explaining. "I told you I'd find them. This is my land after all, I'm the Pharaoh, Horus on earth! This land is in my blood and I can find whoever I want to so long as they are touching the sacred sand-covered land that is my birthright…HOLY RA! BAKURA AND MARIK?!"

Snorting, Kaiba detached himself from the group and went to sit down next to Ryou. "Love sucks," he muttered under his breath."

"Tell me about it," Ryou agreed, making Kaiba jump; the CEO thinking Ryou hadn't heard him. "Bakura's making-out with Marik right now. Kinda funny…No, really funny. Kinda sad though, because I thought he liked me. But whatever."

Kaiba snorted again. "Lucky you. I wish Yami would go away and make-out with someone."

"Yami?" Ryou asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah," Kaiba said moodily, a color slowly spreading over his face.

Ryou chuckled. "Oh dear. I don't suppose Yugi would like to hear that." He patted Kaiba's shoulder. "There, there."

Kaiba raised his eyes and looked at Ryou's hand, his blue gaze rising steadily until it reached Ryou's face.

Groaning, Ryou managed to get out, "I think I know what's going to happen nex-" before he was tackled by Kaiba.

"WOOOO!" Set called, watching as Kaiba assaulted Ryou's mouth with harsh and desperate kisses. "Go future me!"

"Seto…" Yami said mournfully.

"HEY!" Bakura yelled as he pushed Marik off him. "GOT YOUR HANDS OFF MY HIKARI!" He ran straight for Kaiba and attacked the off-guard CEO, ignoring his stunned hikari…for the moment.

Set looked around boredly…Until his gaze fell upon the Millennium Item in Marik's belt loop. "Hey!" he cried. "That's my Millennium Rod!"

Marik's eyes went wide. "Oh shit," he muttered before he ran like a horde of shadow monsters was after him.

"Hey!" Set called. "Get back here, you thief!"

Bakura paused in his pummeling of Kaiba. "Did someone say thief?"

"Haha!" Kaiba flipped Bakura over while the thief's guard was down. "You can't take me either!" he said arrogantly, looking down at Bakura.

"Yeah right." Bakura flipped back over on top with no trouble. "You were saying?"

"I was saying don't kiss me…" Kaiba mumbled.

"Hmmm…Well, the Pharaoh likes you…So kissing you would make him mad!" Bakura looked down at the CEO. "Besides, you are rather pretty…"

Kaiba sweatdropped. "Errr, don't you think we've had enough of that in this chapter?"

"There can never be enough yaoi!" some random yaoi fans, who magically appear whenever they hear the word yaoi, said in the distance.

Bakura sweatdropped. "Perhaps you're right…" He got off of Kaiba. "I'll just get back at the Pharaoh...some…other…way…uh…bye…" He sat down next to Ryou and drew little smiley faces in the sand. Then he blotted them out and glomped Ryou.

Kaiba nodded and went to watch his past self chase Marik around the desert, yelling promises of a slow and painful death if he ever caught the Millennium Item stealing thief.

"I'm the thief! Get it right!" Bakura yelled, though he didn't know (or care) who was yelling it.

Meanwhile, Yami was standing all by himself feeling very lonely.

I wonder where Yugi went off to," the Pharaoh wondered sadly.

"Yo ho!"

Everyone paused.

"Did someone just say 'yo ho'?" Ryou asked

"Sounds like it's coming from a ways off," Bakura added. "It also sounds like someone's…singing it…"

"Singing? Oh gods, it better not be Malik again," Yami groaned.

Everyone sweatdropped.

"Hello? They're singing 'yo ho'," Kaiba snapped.

"So?"

Marik snorted. "Well, it could only be one person. Baka Pharaoh."

Everyone nodded. Even Set, who had been secretly reading the story while everyone was yelling at Yami, so he knew who they were talking about.

"Yo ho?" Yami asked. "But, who is it? Why won't you tell me?! WHY?!"

END

Will Bakura beat the crap out of Seto for "touching his hikari"? Will Set ever get his Millennium Rod back? What's the meaning of life? Why are we here? Is death really only the beginning? …Now I want to watch The Mummy…

Oh, and since I had a bunch of stuff at the beginning of the chapter, here's the quote of the day:

Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but you might have flunked anyway; that's my point. – Jack Handey

Finals are next week…Wish me luck!

Marik: Fail! Fail! FAAAIIIILLLL!!!!

…Gee, thanks…