Quote of the Day: Three people can keep a secret if two of them are dead. – Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanack

W31C0M3 70 407H3R IN57411M37 0F M4RIK'5 B0RING D4Y!

Cough…Right. I blame Mega-Tokyo. My newest addiction. (Curse you, Yuumi-chan! XD) Anyway, in case you're all wondering I passed finals a while ago. W00t! Yeah, things have been a bit crazy, but I'm finally updating!

Previously on Marik's Boring Day…Everyone was tackling each other. Set was chasing Marik around, trying to get his Millennium Rod back and yelling "Thief!" followed by Bakura yelling, "I'm the thief!" Suddenly, a voice singing "Yo ho!" was heard in the distance. Who could it be!

Yami: I don't know!

(Sweatdrop)

0N WI7H 73H MaDn35Z…

!Chapter 9: Holy Ra!

Two figures appeared on the horizon as the mysterious "Yo ho" Drunken Pirate song drew nearer.

"Who are you!" Yami cried to the figures.

"You mean…You haven't guessed?" Ryou asked, incredulously.

Yami looked confused. "Umm…Should I have?"

"Oh come on!" Ryou cried. "We all know who it is! Isn't that right, everyone?"

"Yes," Bakura and Kaiba, who were too afraid to get close to each other but weren't too afraid to send death glares at one another, said.

Marik and Set stopped in mid-chase. "Yup!" they cried before continuing their wild run.

Yami glared at his priest. "And just how would you know?"

Set held up a stack of papers. "I've been reading the script."

"Isn't that breaking the fourth-wall law?" Kaiba asked.

Set shrugged. "What are they going to do to me? I'm dead."

At that moment, Set got struck by lightning.

"Ow." The priest rubbed his head. "That smarts."

Kaiba rolled his eyes.

"Are you alright, Seto?" Yami asked, taking a seat by his favorite CEO.

"Fine," the CEO muttered. "Fine, fine, FINE!"

"Umm…Are you sure? You seem…Troubled…"

Bakura, who was listening in on their conversation, snorted. "When doesn't he?"

Yami glared at him.

"Well it's true!" the thief snapped. "He's always got something going on! It's always angst, angst, angst with him! So you run a company! Big deal! Get a psychologist!"

"That didn't help," Kaiba said miserably.

"Seto?" Yami asked again, putting a hand on the troubled teen's shoulder. "What's wrong?"

Kaiba turned to him, looking him straight in the eye. "Yami, answer me this: How long have we been apart of this little fanfic?"

"Ummm…Eight chapters?"

Sighing, Kaiba said, "Yes, yes. But how long is a chapter in minutes or hours or days?"

"Um, Seto? Where are you going with this?"

"Have you noticed any night scenes?" Kaiba exclaimed, standing up. "Any at all?"

Yami stood up also, very slowly. "Well, no…"

"Exactly!" he shouted. "None at all! It's like this has just been one long day…One very…very…long day…"

Yami opened his mouth as if he were about to say something, then closed it, deciding it would be safer not to.

"It's like…It's like…The day that never ends…" The brunette trailed off, a faraway look in his eyes.

Yami still decided it would be better not to say anything, for fear of setting the high-strung CEO off.

Kaiba was also silent for a moment, staring off into space. Yami took a cautious step forward. Kaiba spun around, a half-crazed look in his cerulean eyes. That's when he started singing:

"This is the day that never ends! Yes it goes on and on my friends! Some people started living it not knowing what it was! And they will keep on living it forever just because…"

Everyone stopped and watched in morbid fascination as the CEO of Kaiba Corporation finally snapped.

"…This is the day that never ends! Yes it goes on and on my friends! Some people started singing it not knowing what it was! Now they will keep on singing it forever just because…"

Set inched over to Marik, who was holding the Millennium Rod between him and the crazed businessman as if it could somehow protect him if Kaiba decided to charge. "So I'm a crazy lunatic in the future?" he whispered to the Egyptian.

Marik nodded, a look of utmost horror on his tanned face. "Yup. Basically."

Yami took another step forward. "Seto?" he asked quietly.

Bakura chuckled. "Always knew ol' moneybags would lose it someday. I'm just glad I was around ta see it."

Ryou looked askance at him. "Bakura? I think you've been hanging around Jonouchi for just a little too long…"

"…THIS IS THE DAY THAT NEVER ENDS! YES IT GOES ON AND ON MY FRIENDS! SO-"

Finally, Yami took action. "SETO! SNAP OUT OF IT!" he yelled, right before he slapped the singing brunette.

Kaiba's eyes went wide. He didn't say anything at first.

"Thank the gods you've stooped him, Pharaoh," Bakura said.

Kaiba blinked and turned his gaze to the spiky Pharaoh. "Thanks," he said shakily. "I needed that."

Yami shrugged. "Yeah, you did. It's ok though. I'm sure we're not missing anything in the real world. I mean, it's not like your company will crumble if you're gone for one really long day…" Yami winced, immediately realizing he shouldn't have said that.

"THE DAY THAT NEVER ENDS!" Kaiba shouted, once again going mad.

"SETO!" Yami shouted, grasping the brunette by his shoulders. "Don't make me slap you again!"

Kaiba shook his head. "Ah…Terribly sorry…" With that said, he collapsed against a very happy Pharaoh.

"Tch. Wuss." Bakura muttered.

"Leave him alone!" Ryou snapped. "Who knows? His company could have been taken over while he was gone! He's allowed to have a mental breakdown!"

Bakura frowned. "Are you…Defending him?"

Ryou colored. "And what if I am?"

"Why, then I'll have to kill him."

"…Bakura…You get way too jealous. And you have anger management problems. I think I'll have to take you to a psychologist or something when we get out of this."

Bakura surveyed their other companions. "I think you'll have to take everyone to a psychologist," he said dryly.

The figures, formerly the figures on the horizon, were drawing nearer and nearer…Ok, well, they weren't actually drawing anything. It's just a figure of speech. I mean, how do you draw near on a piece of paper? Well, anyway, soon they're close enough so even Yami can tell who they are.

"Yugi! Jonouchi!" Yami cried, gently placing Seto down and rushing to meet his friends.

Jonouchi fell to his knees before the Pharaoh. "Please!" Jonouchi begged with a choked sob. "I can't take it any more! Make it stop! MAKE IT STOP!"

"Make what stop?" Yami asked.

"Won't you please make it stop? PLEASE!"

"What?"

"MAKE IT STOP!"

Growing tired of this, Bakura strode forward and grabbed the blond by the collar of his shirt. "And just what would 'It' be?"

Jonouchi looked up at the tomb robber with watery eyes and pointed a shaky finger at Yugi. "The…The…The…Yo ho song!" With that, he fell sobbing onto Bakura's shoulder.

Scowling, Bakura disgustedly threw the blond on top of Kaiba. "Problem solved."

Yami leaned forward to take a good look at his aibou. "And just what did he mean by that?"

"Yo ho!" Yugi said with a deranged grin.

Yami's face fell. "Oh yeah." He paused to think. "I think I like Ryou's idea. We all need to visit a good psychologist. But fist we need to get out of Egypt. And however will we do that?"

All of a sudden, the air in front of Yami begins to shimmer. A person materializes before the Pharaoh, a person wearing a white turban…

"Gasp!" Yami gasped. "It's Shadi!"

"Hey!" Bakura said, jumping up. "Didn't I send you to the Shadow Realm before?"

Shadi smirked. "That you did. But I know many tricks. I also have my Millennium Key to thank for that!" He motioned to the Key around his neck.

Smirking, Bakura shook his head. "No, that must be a fake Key, I have your Key in my pocket!" He reached into his pocket, planning to show the Key to everyone, then laugh in Shadi's face. Unfortunately, there was no Key in his pocket… "Holy Ra! It's gone! You stole it! You thief!"

Shadi shook his head. "No, you are mistaken. YOU are the thief."

"True," Bakura said. "But…Holy Ra! How did you get it back!"

"I would not speak the name of that particular god anymore."

"I mean, normally it wouldn't be such a big deal, but you stole from the King of Thieves! I'm a god! I'm like-"

"No!" Shadi shouted. "Don't say it!"

"Holy Ra, what are you talking about!"

The skies suddenly turned dark with storm clouds; strange, considering it was a bright and sunny day a few moments ago. Thunder rumbled ominously above, growling quiet curses at the eight confused characters, plus a seemingly all-knowing Shadi. Flashes of lightening illuminated their faces, some showing fear, others curiosity, others impassive, one even showing hunger.

Jonouchi's stomach rumbled as he lifted himself off the still-dazed Kaiba. "I'm hungry."

The clouds abruptly parted, revealing a golden birdlike figure descending towards them. Instead of feathers, this huge flying beast seemed to have golden scale like armor. A blue gem rested between its two fierce red eyes. A ferocious screech escaped its heavily toothed beak as it touched the ground gently before them.

Set, Marik, Yami, Bakura, and Shadi bowed down immediately, their eyes wide. "Ra!" they breathed.

Ryou, Seto (who had just recovered) and Jonouchi stood nearby, a tad confused by all this.

"Yo ho!" Yugi said, the deranged grin still plastered on his face.

Ra suddenly screeched again.

"Hey, isn't that a Duel Monsters card?" Ryou asked.

Kaiba nodded. "Y35, I7'5 73H WING3D-" He stopped and shook his head, trying to clear out the L33T. (Because everyone knows L33T in a common side-effect of being knocked-out…) "Yeah, it's the Winged Dragon of Ra," he said, looking around. "But I don't see any machines that could produce a hologram around here…Unless…" He paused and his eyes went wide. "The Egyptian Government stole some of my technology! I knew it! I knew they were after me, ever since that incident with the ninja bunny…"

Ryou raised an eyebrow. "Ninja bunny?"

Kaiba nodded, completely serious. "Yeah, Tried to kill me and steal the plans to the latest Duel Disk…But the it got scared and ran off when I showed it some moves of my own…" He took up a kung-foo stance that looked like it had come from a Jackie Chan movie.

"Ooook…" Ryou said.

Nodding vigorously, Kaiba said, "Yes, everyone's out to get me, are they? Well, I'll tell you one thing. They'll never take me alive!" He looked around for a window to jump out of, but of course, found none.

Ryou nodded. "Yeah. You really need to seek psychological help."

"You know, Yami said something like that too…"

Ryou shook his head and turned away. "Poor, poor Seto. He needs more help than all of us combined."

Meanwhile, back at the Egyptian Government Head Quarters…-

The Head Government Guy was pacing in front of a large round table in a dark room with TV monitors all around. On one monitor, was the Kaiba Mansion. On another, Seto Kaiba himself, showing off quite a few of his kung-foo moves. "Agent Double 007 ½ ," he said in a gruff voice. "Have you succeeded with your mission? Have you the plans?"

Agent 007 ½, who is actually a small white rabbit, scrunched his nose in a bunny-like manner.

"What!" Head Government Guy shouted. "You have failed! Even after all the extensive and expensive ninja training we have put you through, you have failed this, your life's mission, and the only thing you have been trained for!"

The bunny wiggled its nose.

Head Government Guy rolled his eyes. "I don't care if he was expecting you! That's no excuse!"

The agent bunny sat up and flapped its ears.

"What! No, you are most certainly NOT getting paid!"

The bunny blinked.

Head Government Guy snorted. "What? Well, fine! Go on and quit! I don't care!"

Agent 007 ½ blinked and began to hop away.

"…Wait!" Head Government Guy shouted. "I'm sorry! Look, we both said some things we didn't mean…Let's just forget it and go have a drink. Your treat!"

The bunny turned around and lunged at Head Government Guy, much like the bunny from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

"AHHH! It's a most ill tempered bunny!" Head Government Guy shouted. Then he died.

Right…Back to everyone else…-

"Oh, holy Ra!" Shadi said with reverence, once again falling to his knees.

"Merciful Ra!" Yami said, following suite.

"Righteous Ra!" Set said, also bowing in respect.

Marik, who couldn't think of a word big enough to encompass all of the god's greatness, fell to his knees to think. "Ummm…Kind, compassionate, compassionate Ra!"

Bakura only snorted and got up to stand by Ryou.

"Bakura!" Ryou gasped, his eyes going wide. "You just turned you back on your god!"

"And?" Bakura asked, rather bored. "Your point is?"

Ryou didn't know what to say. "Well…Umm…Won't he be…angry?"

"And strike you down with lightning or something?" Jonouchi added.

"Yo ho?" Yugi asked.

Bakura sweatdropped. "Silly children and their silly fairytales."

Shadi looked up at the deity from his crouched position. "What is it you desire of us, oh divine Ra?"

"Squawk!" Ra squawked.

"Pardon, your excellency?" Yami asked, half fearing he, the Pharaoh, would be punished for making one much greater than he repeat himself.

Ra squawked again.

"Please, say it again," Set said gently, "that we may understand and cater to your wishes."

Ra ruffled his golden feathers in a very bird-like manner before giving a loud squawk.

"Wait!" Marik exclaimed, jumping up. "I can understand what the mighty god is trying to tell us!"

The three prostrate figures immediately leaped up to gather around Marik.

"What is it?" Shadi asked.

"Are we in great peril?" Yami asked, expecting the worst, as usual. "Are we to be sacrificed for his amusement? Or must I yet again save the world?"

"No…" Marik said, shaking his head. "He says…He wants…Some brownies!"

Shadi, Set, and Yami sweatdropped. "What?"

Ra also sweatdropped. "Squawk?"

Sighing, Kaiba spoke slowly and clearly as if he were speaking to children. Moronic children who couldn't understand the sky was blue. Which, according to him, he was. "No, he's telling us the way to get home."

Ra squawked once again and ruffled his feathers happily.

Everyone else stared at Kaiba in awe.

"What?" Kaiba asked, a bit uncomfortable under all their stares.

"Hey," Set said, "how come if we're the same person, he understood that and I didn't?"

"The memories of his past are coming back to him," Shadi said, nodding sagely.

Yami laughed. "Ha!" he said, pointing a finger at Kaiba. "I told you you couldn't hide from your past!"

"But…I'm his past…" Set protested. "If his past comes back to him…What happens to me?"

"So, how do we get out of here?" Yami asked, ignoring Set.

"He said something like, 'Sit down and think. The answer will come to you.'" Kaiba said with a shrug. "Whatever that means."

Ra gave one final squawk, as well as a nod of approval to Kaiba, then flew away. As he did so, the stormy skies cleared, revealing two large stones that weren't there before the bird-like deity had appeared.

"So turban-head," Bakura said, eyeing Shadi with something between hate and amusement (he was trying not to laugh at the turban on the Egyptian man's head), "what are you here for?"

"Actually, I just came to tell you just what Ra told you," Shadi said, glaring at the thief. "So, I guess I'll be leaving now." He nodded and disappeared in his mysterious…Shadi…way.

Kaiba sniffed. "He could at least have told us what we have to do to get out of this dump."

Set glared at his reincarnation. "This 'dump' as you so put it was my home in life," he said icily.

Kaiba only glared. "That doesn't change the fact that it is still a dump."

Set matched him glare for icy glare.

Ryou started shivering.

"Stop it!" Bakura shouted, hitting them both on the back of the head. "You're making us all cold. "He turned to the Pharaoh. "So. What do we do?"

Yami smirked. "And why are you asking me? Is it because you're finally ready to admit that I am, and always have been, superior to you in every conceivable way?"

Bakura grinned. "No, it's just that at this point, your guess is as good as mine, Pharaoh dearest. And if that guess turns out to be wrong, I'd rather it be your fault and your hide that gets flayed when everyone hunts you down seeking revenge."

Yami sweatdropped. "Right. Well, I guess these stones are portals to take us back home…"

"So what are we s'posed to do?" Marik asked, scratching the back of his head. "Sit on 'em?"

Groaning, Yami said, "I hate to say this, I mean REALLY hate it, but I think Marik's right."

"Really?" Marik asked. "W00t!"

"Ugh, if Marik thought it up, it won't work," Bakura remarked.

"But that god made it up," Ryou said. "Ra or whatever."

Bakura snorted. "So? It's probably just a set-up to make us look stupid and to provide entertainment to the gods. I'll bet that was really Seth in disguise."

"Seth?"

"God of chaos. Duh."

"Well excuse me for not knowing your religion."

"Hey now, guys," Marik said. "There's no need to be-"

"SNIPPY!" Everyone finished.

Marik looked shocked. "Wow," he said in awe. "How'd you know I was going to say that!"

Everyone else sweatdropped.

"No, seriously!" Marik insisted. "Ok, I'm thinking of a word…"

"Snippy," Bakura said flatly.

Marik gasped. "Ok now, that's just creepy. One more time…"

"Snippy," the tomb robber said again.

Marik put his hands over his ears. "Get out of my head, Tomb Robber! All of you, OUT!"

"Tch. Not like there's anything to see in there…"

"OUT!"

"Shut up!" Yami shouted. "I'm going to choose which stone to sit on-"

"Who died and made you Pharaoh?" Bakura asked bitterly.

"Umm…Probably my father…The previous Pharaoh. I'm the Pharaoh, remember?"

"Oh yeah…"

Yami nodded and sat down on the stone to the left of him. "I choose this one!"

Suddenly, a blinding green light surrounded them and they felt themselves being pulled into the stone. "I blame you, Pharaooooooh!" Bakura yelled before everyone was sucked completely in.

Ryou grabbed onto Bakura, who was screaming his head off. Set was flailing around and accidentally hit Kaiba on the head. Yami hung onto Yugi who kept shouting "YO HO!" at the top of his lungs, but managed to grab onto the nearly unconscious Kaiba as well. Jonouchi was still complaining about how hungry he was, even though they were currently flying through space. And Marik was holding on to his Millennium Rod for dear life.

Meanwhile, our favorite turbaned Egyptian was sitting in a cushy armchair by a pool at a nearby resort, drinking a glass of Sprite with a little umbrella in it. Not surprisingly, his newest partner in crime, Pegasus, was dozing in a similar chair next to him.-

"Well, I guess that went well," the Egyptian said, taking a sip of his soda before choking on it. "I didn't tell them which stone would take them home! Holy Ra!"

Ra, who also had a drink with an umbrella in it, squawked rather loudly at this.

"Sorry, it's an expression…Oh well, they'll be fine as long as they don't chose the stone on the left. Right?"

Ra squawked again and nodded.

Shadi nodded back. "So. Up for a game of Twister?"

Noa suddenly jumped out of the pool before them in a blatant Matrix rip-off scene, pausing in the air for as moment before landing in front of them and covering them with water. "I'm game!" he shouted.

Shadi and Ra sweatdropped.

END

What will happen next! No one knows…Well, I do…But you don't…