Marik's Boring Day Chapter 10: Insert Funny Music Here, a yu-gi-oh fanfic

Quote of the Day: Five exclamation points, the sure sign of an insane mind. –Windle Poons, Reaper Man by Terry Pratchett

W00T! Chapter 10! We're almost to 11, which is as far as I got last time before they took MBD down!

Random Dude: (Hopefully) Does this mean the next chapter's gonna be the end?

Gods, no! Who knows when this will end?

Random Dude: But…But…I want OUT! (Breaks down sobbing)

Flashback Guy: (Pats Random Dude awkwardly on the shoulder) There, there…

Well, I know I haven't done this before, but since it's chapter 10 and MBD's gotten over 50 reviews, I think it's time for some SHOUT OUTZ!

Sami Ryou's Hikari- Really? It was the best chapter? Yeah, I kinda liked it too. O.O Wow, looks like you liked a lot of stuff! Hehe, thanks!

Evening Angel- I don't usually pay attention to proper grammar! Well, until the stupid squiggly lines on Word come up and tell me to… V.V

Tenshi no Shibo- O.O Umm…You're welcome you're welcome you're welcome…. (Lost count) Anyway, I'm glad you were so looking forward to it!

Lycoris no Tasogare- I think I spelled your name right… (Gets dizzy from the shaking .) And look at the bottom before you start shaking me, please! And I really don't mind the MegaTokyo thing. Obsessions are good. 4nd 3y3 h4v3 m4d l33t 5k1llz. Though not as much as Largo-sensei. 3y3 571ll h4v3 much 70 l34rn 4b0u7 t3h 4lm1gh7y l33t.

Evil Kitty of Doom- Hehehe, I don't know if you knew this, but I usually put "of Doom" at the end of everything…And I'm addicted to coffee! In fact, I want some now…Coffee…(Twitch) O.O Please, I want to feel no doom! (Cowers) I'm typing, I'm typing, just please, KEEP THE Q-TIPS OF DOOM AWAY FROM ME! (Cowers more) (Forgets about cowering and gets some coffee)

AlterEthereal- Lovely. And just what is this "CCB" you speak of? XD Just kidding, I remember! Jeez, it seems like it's been so long! Has it really been that long? How long? Why, I don't know how long, do you? (Cough) Sorry, maybe coffee's not such a good idea…Anyway, take you're time, Baka and co. can wait!

Shadow over Egypt- Your computer broke AGAIN? Poor you! But wait, does this mean you can't update Four Hours? (Agonizing scream) NOOOOOO! But you left off at such a…nice…part! (Starts twitching again) Bakura…Yami…(Twitch) Yes, well, since you asked so nicely, here's the next chapter! I hope this cheers you up!

Dark Magician Girl Hikaru- Yes, I remember you! Thanks for coming back! Is this as funny as the old one? Does anyone remember the old one? Lol. I'm kinda liking this one better than the old one…

p6zytvnc- Thanks! I try…

Bakura: Try to humiliate us…

Hush! (Stuffs Bakura into a bag) Speaking of, I don't own him or anyone else in this except for the characters I do own!

Bakura: That didn't make any sense!

(Stuffs Bakura back down) I don't own Star Trek or the Twilight Zone either! See previous disclaimers! Ok, 3, 2, 1, let's jam!

Warnings: Shounen-ai, as always. If you didn't know that by now, you obviously haven't been reading…

Chapter 10: The Twilight Zone! Dodododo dodododo

Seto slowly sat up and rubbed the back of his head, where it had apparently hit…Nothing.

He blinked. Wait. Nothing?

Opening his eyes, Seto saw that he was indeed surrounded by nothing…Nothing but stars and the depths of space. "Where am I?" he asked in awe. Well, as close to awe as Seto Kaiba can come to.

Space, a disembodied voice said. The final frontier. These are the voyages of the Star Ship Enterprises. Her five year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilization, to boldly go where no man has gone before!

Seto sweatdropped. "These are not the voyages of the Star Ship Enterprise. Star Trek doesn't exist, it was created by losers who read too much scifi and had nothing better to do." Scoff Scoff.

All of a sudden, a space ship flew by. Voiceswere coming from inside, voices that Seto can strangely hear.

"Captain's Log," said one voice. "Star date…Uh…Star date…Number One?

"Yes, sir?" asked another voice.

"What's the star date?"

The ship was out of hearing distance after that, so poor Seto didn't get to hear the star date. He didn't seem too disappointed, however. He seemed to be pondering another important question.

"There can't be sounds in space," he scoffed. "There are no air molecules for sound to bounce off of, therefore-"

"Do you always have to be so smart?" a new voice inquired.

"Yes. Wait. Who are you?" Seto drew himself up to his full height. "I demand you show yourself. Now."

A large man in a black suit and sunglasses stepped out of…er, well nowhere. They're in space, remember? Not much to hide behind, unless they were near a planet or something…But, anyway, said man had hair that was pointier than Honda's.

"Gasp!" Seto gasped. "It's you! That nameless thug whose ass I kicked at Duelist Kingdom!"

Nameless thug bristled. "Excuse me, I do have a name and it was used at Duelist Kingdom. I'm Kemo, remember?"

Seto snorted. "Yeah. Right. Like I'd bother to remember a lowly henchman's name."

Kemo growled. "So, have you seen Mr. Pegasus?"

"No."

"Damn. I need to find him. I want a raise."

The CEO frowned at the obvious plot-hole. "And you're looking for him in the depths of space because…?"

Kemo shrugged. "I opened a door and I was here. You're the genius, you tell me how that works."

"Maybe you're the boogeyman." (AN: XD Fun movie)

"Maybe…Hey, but since we're both here, how about I get revenge for what happened at Duelist Kingdom by kicking your scrawny ass?"

Seto rolled his eyes. "And just how are you going to do that?" Scoff Scoff.

Kemo grinned. "With this!" He held up his finger at the CEO.

Seto frowned. "Hey. There's no need for rude hand gestures…"

Kemo looked down at his finger. "Whoops! Wrong finger! I meant," he held up his index finger, nodded, and pointed it at Seto, "this!"

Seto gasped in a very Yami-like manner. "Oh no! It's the…the…the…Gunfinger!"

Kemo nodded. "Yes, that's right. The very finger that would be on the trigger if I was holding a gun right now. The Gunfinger. And you know what? I'm going to shoot you with it. Goodbye, Mr. Kaiba."

Unfortunately for Kemo, or fortunately for Kaiba, glass empty glass full, et cetera, Bakura and Marik chose that exact moment to run by arm in arm, waving Bakura's lighter crazily. The set behind them caught on fire and burned down, the smoke causing Kemo's eyes to water and his vision to waver.

"Ah!" Kemo yelled. "My eyes! I can't aim!" The Gunfinger went off, hitting an innocent bystander.

Random Dude lurched forward, clutching a gaping hole in his side. "This is it! The end! My last scene!" He fell forward a few steps, clutching Seto's shoulder dramatically. "I'm…dying! Goodbye, cruel-"

"Don't you dare finush that lame, over-used cliché!" Ryou shouted, stepping in.

"- world!" Random Dude ignored him. "Please," he asked Seto, speaking very low and serious. "Please. Tell Flashback Guy that I…That I…That I…" Random Dude never finished his sentence. He fell down, dead.

Seto gasped.

Ryou shrugged. "He'll be back."

Seto looked at him blankly. "What? Oh. No, I meant, this was all a set?"

Ryou sweatdropped.

"I mean, I knew it had to be, there's no sound in space-"

Ryou ignored the ranting brunette and turned around, tsking. "Look what those two imbeciles have done! They've burnt down the set! Now it looks like a blank Word Document!"

Gasping, Seto spun around, his eyes wide. "Not a blank Word Document!"

Ryou and Kemo, gave him a strange look.

Seto shook his head. "No. You don't understand…"

Flashback Guy rode in at that moment. He tilted his hat at the CEO. "You want a flashback?"

Seto nodded. "And look! There's a convienantly placed TV floating in emptyspace right over there!"

Flashback Guy clapped his hands in glee. "Yay!" He rushed over and jammed the tape in. "Alrighty then. Whenever you're ready, richboy."

"I can remember it just like it was yesterday…" Seto began as Flashback Guy hit play.

A younger version of Seto appeared on the screen. He was sitting in front of a laptop. "Homework! Homework! Homework! Must do homework!" he was chanting happily to himself.

The blank Word Document on the computer screen remained blank.

"LadeedadeedaHOMEWORK!" little Seto sang. "Gotta write an essay!"

The blank Word Document remained blank.

Little Seto picked up the paper his assignment was written on and abruptly stopped his happy singing. "What!" he yelled as he read the paper. "Ancient Egypt? I have to write a report about some moldy old Pharaoh named Yami! But I don't want to! Who cares about the past? I hate Egypt!" Little Seto pouted.

The blank Word Document remained blank.

Little Seto glared at the laptop. "I hate you too!"

Words suddenly appeared on the screen. "Well I hate you too!" they said.

Little Seto gasped.

More writing appeared on the screen, "…"

Then the computer crashed.

"NOOOO!" Little Seto wailed.

Ryou and Kemo sweatdropped.

Seto looked strangely at Flashback Guy. "Hey, how'd you get here, anyway?"

"Oh, I have my ways," he said mysteriously. Drumsticks snorted an agreement.

Seto sweatdropped.

"Hey, flashbacks look fun!" Kemo exclaimed. "I wanna turn!"

Flashback Guy shrugged and reached into one of Drumstick's many saddlebags. He pulled out a tape and stuck it in the VCR. "All yours, big man."

Kemo nodded. "It happened when I was young…"

A younger Kemo appeared on the screen. He was running. Running for his life.

"AHHHH!" he yelled. "RUN AWAY! THE RABID SQUIRRELS ARE ATTACKING! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! PH34R T3H 5QURR1L5!"

But the rabid squirrels were gaining on him. "WE'LL GET YOU, KEMO!" they yelled in unison in their little squeaky voices of doom. "WE'LL GET YOU AND YOUR LITTLE DOG TOO!"

"NO!" little Kemo cried. "NOT SCRUFFY!"

A little dog in the background tilted his head. "Bark?" he asked before the squirrels turned on him…

Ryou and Seto sweatdropped.

Kemo started crying. "Poor Scruffy!" he sobbed.

"Riiiiight…" Seto said. "Anyway, you're turn, Ryou."

"What?" Ryou asked.

"Now you have to do a flashback scene."

"Why?"

"Because I said so."

"That's not a good reason!"

Seto drew himself up to his full height, looking down at the shorter teen. "Because I'm Seto Kaiba and I said so."

Ryou cowered. "That's a good reason," he said meekly.

Kemo, who had stopped crying, bounced over to them. "What's your flashback gonna be of?"

Ryou frowned. "I don't know…Oh! I got one!"

Flashback Guy reached into another saddlebag and pulled out Ryou's tape. He put it in the VCR. "You go, albino-boy!"

Frowning, Ryou said, "I am not albino." Then he started his flashback. "This actually didn't happen too long ago…"

On the screen, Ryou was sitting on the edge of a bed. Bakura was standing in the doorway, his shirt unbuttoned, revealing his well toned abdomen.

"Bakura?" Ryou asked as his yami stared walking towards him, a predatory gleam in his dark brown eyes.

Bakura reached the edge of the bed and placed a hand on Ryou's chest, pushing the hikari down slowly. "Ryou," he said the name slowly, savoring every letter.

"Ba-Bakura?" Ryou asked again, looking up at his yami, who was leaning over him. Who was leaning very close over him. "What are you-"

"Shhh, hikari dearest," he said softly, leaning closer and finally silencing any further protests with a full of passion and lust.

The screen then went black, with big, bold white letters proclaiming the following scenes were "CENSORED."

Ryou started blushing madly. "That is not what I was thinking of!"

Flashback Guy shrugged. "Hey, don't blame me. I only play what the people at the Flashback Company tell me to."

"But I wasn't!" Ryou protested.

"Maybe it wasn't what you wanted us to see, but it was what you were thinking of," Seto pointed out. "When did the two of you have time to do that, anyway?"

"Uh…Well…"

"Shhh!" Kemo interrupted. "Speak no more of it! This story is PG-13!"

Seto nodded. "Our trigger-happy antagonist is correct. Speak no more of it." He paused. "Hey, do either of you know where we are anyway?"

"I know," Kemo said quietly. "We're in…The Twilight Zone!" (Dodododo dodododo)

"What?" Ryou asked, confused. "The Twilight Zone?" (Dodododo dodododo) "Whoa, where'd that music come from!"

Kemo shrugged. "It's the Twilight Zone-" (Dodododo Dodododo) "-music. Every time you say the Twilight Zone-" (Dodododo Dodododo) "that music pops up."

"Oh," Ryou said, still confused. "Well, is the," his voice dropped to a whisper, "Twilight Zone-" (Dodododo Dodododo) "Damn music! Anyway, is that like a distant cousin to the Shadow Realm or something?"

Seto shrugged. "Uh…No clue…But I have heard of this place! Weird things happen here!"

Marik and Bakura walked by, the lighter abandoned, swaying like a couple of drunks.

Yami walked up the wall, not noticing the three people watching him, or the fact that he was defying the laws of gravity.

Jonouchi fell down in front of them, probably collapsed from hunger.

"Uh, Seto?" Set asked as he walked up to them. "Where are we?"

"The Twilight Zone." (Dodododo Dodododo) Seto answered.

"Uh…Ok. So how do we get out of here?"

"We're working on it…"

At that moment, Pegasus walked by with a glass of "grape juice." "Ohh! Funny Bunny's on!" he cried happily as he ran to find a TV.

"Mr. Pegasus!" Kemo yelled. "Wait for me! I want a raise!" And so Kemo ran after him.

Ryou moved closer to Seto. "This place is scary…"

Set grinned and pushed Seto closer to Ryou.

"Will you stop it!" Seto yelled at his past-self.

"Well if you won't go out with the Pharaoh, why not him?" Set asked innocently enough.

Seto, getting redder by the moment, yelled "I don't need to 'go out' with anyone!"

"Actually," Set mused aloud, "the Pharaoh's not that bad. I've had worse."

Seto and Ryou sweatdropped.

"Yeah, there was this one guy," Set went on, "a lion-tamer if I remember correctly, just don't ask me what his name was. Anyway, being a loin-tamer, he had a great body, just not much of a personality…"

"We don't need to hear about your love life!" Seto yelled.

"Well just choose someone then!" Set exclaimed. "Come on, everyone wants you to!"

"Actually, It's more like everyone wants to get with him," Ryou corrected.

Set raised an eyebrow. "Including you?"

"Umm…" Ryou said nervously.

Marik and Bakura walked by again, this time across the ceiling. Well, if there are in fact ceilings in theTwi…uh…this place…Bakura fell and landed in front of them with a thud.

THUD.

"Ow!" the tomb robber said, rubbing his head. "That hurt!" He then noticed everyone else. "Oh, hey guys. Wazzup?"

"We're stuck in the," Ryou began. "…well…I don't want to say it…"

"This realm of chaos," Set finished for him.

"Yeah, I've noticed," Bakura said dryly. "Hey, you look familiar…Set! High Priest Set!"

"Bakura the Tomb Robbber!" Set exclaimed. "It's been a while! I haven't seen you since-"

"-that one night on the Pharaoh's birthday!" Bakura finished.

"Night?" Ryou asked suspiciously.

"Yeah," Bakura said. "Well, you see, neither of us really wanted to go. Well, I did, but to ruin it, and Set here stopped me and somehow we ended up alone together-"

Ryou put his hand over Bakura's mouth. "We really don't need to hear any more."

"No," Seto agreed.

Marik, still on the 'ceiling,' started dancing to 'Spice Up Your Life' by the Spice Girls.

"Can you get us out of here?" Ryou asked.

"Yeah," Seto agreed. "Before any other odd flashback scenes." He shot Ryou a meaningful glance.

"Flashback scenes?" Bakura asked, lost.

"Yes," Seto went on bitterly. "Ryou had a very interesting one about you-"

Ryou tackled him before he got a chance to finish his sentence.

"Was it the one in bed?" Bakura asked.

Ryou nodded.

"Ah, good times. Good times."

"I suppose I should be jealous," Set said to Bakura.

"Are you?" Bakura asked.

"I'm not."

"Ouch."

"Could you get us out of here now?" Seto asked form under Ryou.

Bakura, who was watching Marik 'shake it,' nodded. "I think that'd be a good idea." He tapped into the Shadow Powers of his Millennium Ring and brought them back to Domino.

"I didn't know the Millennium Ring could do that," Ryou said.

Bakura shrugged. "Neither did I."

"What!" Ryou exclaimed. "You didn't know? We could have been killed or something if it didn't work!"

Bakura shrugged. "But it DID work," he pointed out.

Ryou sighed and gave up.

"What a wondrous city!" Set exclaimed, looking around at all the buildings/cars/people/ of the modern world. "Those structures! How do you people get them so tall? And look at those contraptions on wheels that move without the aid of animal power! And what is everyone wearing!"

Bakura looked at Set before asking Ryou, "Hn. Did I make that big of a deal out of everything when I first awoke in this era?"

Ryou thought for a moment, then took a tape with his name on it from Flashback Guy and put it on.

Flashback:

Younger Ryou looked at the strange pendant his father had brought him back form Egypt. "Wow, look at this cool pendant my dad brought me back from Egypt! I think he said it was called the Millennium Ring…But…It's not a ring…" He stared at the 'ring' for a moment. "Oh well! It's so shiny! But kinda dusty…" He rubbed his sleeve on the pendant, trying to get some of the dust off.

The Millennium Ring giggled. "Hehe! That tickles!"

Younger Ryou looked disturbed that a piece of metal was speaking to him.

The Millennium Ring began glowing.

All of a sudden, someone popped out of the Ring! He looked just like Ryou, except…more evil. Or maybe insane is a better word… "Wow! I was stuck in there for a long time!" Ryou's newly appeared look-a-like said, rubbing his arm. "My arm's asleep! AHHH!"

Younger Ryou jumped.

"What?" the spirit asked. "You've never seen the spirit of a tomb robber?"

Younger Ryou shook his head.

The spirit of the tomb robber shook his head in disbelief. "You poor deprived child…" He suddenly poked Ryou. "Hey, you look just like me!"

"…"

The tomb robber walked over to a window. "HOLY RA! HOW LONG HAVE I BEEN IN THAT THING! WHAT YEAR IS IT? WHY ARE THOSE PEOPLE DRESSED SO FUNNY! ARE THEY EVEN HUMAN! HAS THE WORLD FINALLY BEEN CONQUERED BY ALIENS!"

Younger Ryou shook his head sadly. "Why me?"

Ryou shook his head. "No, you made a bigger deal out of things." He shook his head. "Drama queen," he muttered under his breath.

Raising an eyebrow, Bakura asked, "What was that last snide comment?"

"Nothing."

"Oh!" Seto exclaimed, poking Set's shoulder. "Hey! Look! Listen! Hey! Listen! Look!"

Everyone turned to Seto, to give him a very odd look.

Seto cleared his throat. "Urm, that's my building," he said to Set indifferently, pointing to Kaiba Corp's headquarters.

Set looked at Seto, admiration shining in his eyes. "Oh, you must be a great sorcerer indeed to have created a structure such as that!"

Puffing out his chest proudly, Seto waved a hand dismissively. "Yeah, I am pretty great. Come on. I'll show it to you!" Set was dragged off by his reincarnation towards Kaiba Corp.

"Seto!" Jonouchi called. "Wait for me!" The blond ran off after the twin brunettes.

Bakura looked after them strangely. "Come, Ryou!" he said suddenly. "We also must dash off somewhere!"

"Why?" Ryou asked.

Bakura shrugged. "Everyone else is doing it!"

Ryou also shrugged. "Ok, we can play some more Tetris!"

Bakura sweatdropped.

Marik, who until this moment was perfectly fine with being ignored after his little Spice Girls episode, also said, "Yeah, that's a good idea. I think I'll make like a tree and split. I mean, make like a banana and leaf. No. Wait, I mean…Oh, you know!"

"Oh no you don't!" Yami grabbed the back of Marik's shirt, accidentally strangling the Egyptian when he didn't stop walking.

"Whaaaaaaat?" Marik whined.

Yami only grinned evilly.

Now cowering, Marik asked fearfully, "What are you going to do to me?"

Still grinning madly, Yami replied, "I'm going to take you and Yugi…to the psychologist!"

"NOOOOOOO!" Marik screamed, attempting to dash off again.

"YEEEEES!" the Pharaoh screamed back, grabbing Marik's ear. "Ra knows we all need it."

Marik, powerless in the infamous ear-lock grip (Ishizu used it all the time on him), had no choice but to follow the Pharaoh and the still "Yo ho-ing" Yugi.

END

Well, that was a little longer than most of the other chapters. I think it was because of the shouts outz at the beginning. So I might not do them next time. Gah, I'm sooooo tired. That's what happens when you don't sleep, folks, and that's my tip o' the day!

What will Set see at Kaiba Corp? Is Ryou going to beat Bakura in another game of Tetris? Will the Phsychologist be able to help Marik and Yugi! (coughyeahrightcough) And has anyone wondered what happened to Honda and Otogi?

Honda: We were left out! Forgotten!

Otogi: (Weeping on Honda's shoulder) The humanity!

Yes, you poor boys. Don't worry; I'm sure you'll meet up with everyone else soon! I don't know how at the moment, but I'm sure it'll happen!

So until next time, everyone! Sleep well! I know I won't! (cries) It's too hard to catch those z's…(sigh)