Quote of the Day: To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. – Steven Wright

Sorry this update is so late! I've just been real busy! But the SATs are over, so the only big tests I have to worry about now are finals, which aren't for another month or now. Gah, sorry I' so Seto-centric too! I'll try to put him aside…This chapter has more Marik in it though!

One more thing I have to comment on. What was Random Dude about to say about Flashback Guy before he "died"!

Random Dude: O.O Nothing…

Uh huh…That's not what I think…

Random Dude: …Shut up! You know nothing, fool!

Uh….Ooook….On with the madness!

-Chapter 11: To the Psychologist We Shall Go!-

And so Yami dragged Yugi and Marik to the psychiatrist. How did he find a psychiatrist so fast? Well, he followed the neon signs, of course!

"Look!" Yami cried. "This conveniently placed neon sign says 'This way to the psychologist's office!'"

"Wow, convenient…" Marik said.

"Yo ho," Yugi agreed with a deranged grin.

Up ahead, lay a brightly colored building with an especially large neaon sign that read in blinking letters, "PSYCHOLOGIST'S OFFICE!" The three went in and waiting in the waiting room. Marik picked up a copy of a Where's Waldo book. Yugi sat grinning, making all the other people in the room leave, afraid of the psycho. Yami sat staring at a very interesting wall.

Meanwhile, in the office, the psychologist, Psychologist Dude, sat finishing up with another patient.

"So," he said to the person lying on the couch. "Tell me your problem, Mr…" He paused and flipped through some papers. "Mr. Random Dude." He paused again, staring at the name on the papers. "Dude? Are we related?"

Random Dude, who in fact was not related to Psychologist Dude, sighed and put an arm across his eyes. "No, I don't think so. It's a very common name."

Psychologist Dude nodded. "That it is. Now please continue."

"Well, you see," he began, "I'm just a two-dimensional filler character, forced to play roles that are too small for the big-shot Yu-Gi-Oh characters. I mean, heaven forbid someone like Seto Kaiba got cast as a person that gets a PS2 dropped on his head," he said sarcastically. "Couldn't they have gotten some two-dimensional filler character from their own show! Like Weevil or Rex!"

Still scribbling in his notebook, Psychologist Dude replied, "Budget wouldn't allow it. You were all we could afford."

"I'm not even getting paid!"

Psychologist Dude nodded. "Exactly."

"I don't even have a proper name!"

The scribbling stopped for a short moment. "Hey, does Psychologist Dude sound any more decent?"

Random Dude paused. "Good point…"

"Mhm." The scribbling picked up again.

"It's not fair!" Random Dude jumped up from the sofa. "We should resist! Fight for filler character rights! We can cure this boil on the face of fanfictiondom! Freedom! FREEDOM!"

"Using crazy words such as 'Fanfictiondom,'" Psychologist Dude mumbled. "Five exclamation marks."

Random Dude stormed over. "What are you writing?"

"Tell me more," Psychologist Dude said, smoothly changing the subject.

"Well, there's Flashback Guy who gets all the better parts!" Random Dude ranted. "Everyone thinks he's so much better than me just because he has a hat and a horse! Not even a horse! A fat little pony! Stupid Flashback Guy…Trying to play the dashing cowboy. Dash this, pony-boy!"

Psychologist Dude raised an eyebrow. "Do you have feelings for this Flashback Guy?"

"What are you writing?" Random Dude asked, changing the subject back.

"That's classified information."

Random Dude reached for the notebook. "Lemme see."

"No!"

"Come on! Give it up!"

Psychologist looked at his watch, even though he wasn't wearing a watch. "I'm sorry time's up. That's it for your session today."

"But I still have forty minutes!"

"Yup, ok," Psychologist Dude said as he began pushing a protesting Random Dude out the door. "See you next Wednesday."

Random Dude, who was clawing at the door frame to prevent from being pushed out, yelled, "But I'm unstable! That's why I came here! If you don't help me…who knows what I'll do! What if I do something crazy like…like…like…Going to the zoo and dancing with the lions…In a tutu!"

Finially pushing Random Dude out of his office, Psychiatrist Dude, who wasn't listening anymore, said, "Sounds great. Bye then!" With that, he shut the door.

Random Dude crossed his arms over his chest and frowned. "…I have to do all these dangerous jobs and I don't even get paid…" He sighed and shrugged. "Oh well, lions here I come!"

Meanwhile, back out in the waiting room…

"Yo ho!" Yugi cried, the usual grin still plastered on his face.

Yami sighed.

"Stupid book," Marik mumbled. "I can't find Waldo, Ra damn it! Curse you! A curse upon you and your family! May the sands of Egypt consume you!" He then stabbed the book with his Millennium Rod.

Yami sweatdropped.

Just then, two more patients walked in.

"Ryou? Bakura? What are you doing here?" Yami asked. "Well, on second thought, Bakura I can understand."

Bakura only glared at the Pharaoh.

"Yes, I love you too, tomb robber."

Bakura stared and his mouth hung open slightly.

"No!" Yami cried. "Not like that! I was being sarcastic! Sarcasm!"

Bakura breathed a sigh of relief.

"Anyway," Yami continued, "Ryou, what are you doing here? I thought you were the most normal out of all of us."

"I live with a 3,000 year old ancient Egyptian tomb robber who used to live in the Millennium Ring and possess my body," Ryou stated flatly. "A psychotic tomb robber at that. Does that sound normal to you?"

Yami: Ryou, take a look at the people around you.

And so he did. A midget with a hair-do that looked like a mutated hedgehog who couldn't stop saying "Yo ho." The spirit of an ancient Pharaoh who was obsessed with saving the world and had hair just as bad as the midget's. Formerly mentioned psychotic tomb robber. An Egyptian wearing a lavender bellyshirt hoodie wearing way too much gold jewelry, currently petting and mumbling to the Millennium Rod. Wow.

"Yup, you're right. I am the most normal out of all of you."

Yami nodded. "So, why are you here? Finally decided to take my advice and send the tomb robber to the funny farm?"

Bakura gasped. "You gave him that idea? Ra, he nearly did it!"

"Hmmm, but I thought your precious little hikari would never do such a thing. You're always going on about how pure and innocent he is."

"Well my hikari could kick your hikari's butt," the tomb robber grumbled.

"No way!" Yami argued.

"We already covered this in a previous chapter, Pharaoh. My hikari did kick your hikari's butt."

"Oh damn. So, what'd you do?"

"Well…You see…" Ryou stammered. "We kind of…That is…My father…"

"His dad caught us making out on the couch," Bakura translated.

"Uh…yeah…" Ryou said with a blush.

"That's it?" Yami asked.

"Well, my father would be classified as a normal person."

Yami then tried to imagine himself as a normal person in Ryou's scenario. "Oh. Yes. I suppose you and your look-alike making out would prove rather disturbing to the normal eye."

Ryou nodded.

"Well," Yami said, "we're all waiting, so pull up a chair."

Marik angrily handed the Where's Waldo book to Ryou. "FIND HIM!"

Ryou sweatdropped.

Just then, Random Dude walked out of the physiologist's office.

"Hey, Random Dude!" Bakura called happily. "What's up!"

Pointing an accusing finger at Bakura, Random Dude cried, "It's your fault I'm here! I wouldn't be here right now if you hadn't thrown that stupid PS2 on my head! I wouldn't be in this stupid psychologist's office and I wouldn't have met stupid Flashback Guy…! Now I must go! The zoo awaits! And I have to find a place where I can rent a tutu…" He trailed off and wandered away.

Everyone sweatdropped.

Suddenly, a voice drifted out of the open door to the office:

"Next!"

…………………………………………………………………

We've interrupted your regularly scheduled chapter of Marik's Boring Day, to bring you a random moment with Honda and Otogi.

"All I'm saying is dice really aren't that cool!" Honda said, stuffing another French fry into his mouth. Apparently, they had made up after that whole little incident with Ishizu in Chapter 7.

"Come on. Dice are so cool." Otogi argued, taking a sip of soda. "They're like, chick magnets."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Totally."

Honda sighed.

"What?"

"…Nothing."

Otogi leaned forward and placed his chin on folded hands. "I know something's wrong. What is it?"

"Well, the last chapter we were in was seven. Seven! And right now we're acting out of character. In seven, we were all over each other! And before that, you were chasing me. But, just sitting here, I feel so…useless…"

"Heh. At least we're getting paid. Unlike that Random Dude."

"Yeah, he's pretty weird. I mean, Flashback Dude and Psychologist Guy are getting paid. Even Drumstick, y'know, the fat little pony, is getting paid! But Random Dude? I think he just kinda wandered onto the set."

As Honda and Otogi were having their conversation, Random Dude was running down the street in a pink tu tu, being chased by a menagerie of zoo animals.

"Yeah," Otogi agreed. "He is weird. Wanna go to a movie?"

Honda shrugged. "Ok." So the two left the restaurant, hand in hand.

………………………………………………………….

So they all filed into the small office…

"Everybody, yeah,

Rock your body, yeah,

Everybody,

Rock your body right!

Backstreet's back, alright!"

Yes, our heroes walked into the office to see their psychologist dancing like a fool and singing "Backstreet's Back!" at the top of his lungs.

"Now throw your hands up in the air," he sang, doing so. "And wave 'em around like you just don't care! If you wanna party let me hear you yell! Cuz we've got it going on again"

Yami cleared his throat. "Um, are you the phychologist?"

Psychiatrist Dude stopped dancing and kicked his cd player, effectively shutting the music off. "That's what my college degree says!"

"He's more like a PSYCHOlogist…" Marik muttered.

"Well then you should get along with him fine, Ishtar!" Bakura said cheerily.

"So should you!"

Bakura sniffed. "I don't associate with people who sing the Backstreet Boys."

"Everybody!" Ryou sang. "Backstreet's back, alright!"

Bakura sweatdropped.

"YO HO!" Yugi agreed.

At that moment, Malik, that is, Marik's yami, decided to burst into the room. "Hey, doc!" he called. "Is it time for my appointment yet?"

"Malik!" Marik cried.

"Marik!" Malik cried back.

Psychiatrist Dude shook his head vigorously, looked at the two again, then rubbed his eyes just to be sure. "Whoa, seeing double…Too much sugar does that to ya, ya know."

"What are you doing here, hikari?" Malik asked.

"Pharaoh made me come," he replied with a pout.

"Awww, Want me to kill 'im?"

"Maybe later."

Malik shrugged. "'k! I'll just be going then. Later days, d00ds!" He then jumped out the closest window, which was a good three stories from the ground outside.

There was a crash, the skid of tires, the sound of breaking glass, a few screams (for dramatic effects), and a great deal of cursing, followed by a very fatal sounding splat.

Malik stook up and shook his head. "Ow! I'm ok!" the others heard him call up. "Hey, look, an overturned truck! What's that say on the side? 'Billy Bob's Cattle Transportation'? Huh?"

The sound of a breaking gate and a stampede of hooves.

"AHHH! NO!" Malik cried. "RABID COWS! I'M BEING ATTACKED BY HAMBURGERS ON HOOVES! HEEEELP!" He ran away, forgetting that for some odd and unknown twisted reason he could fly.

Everyone sweatdropped.

"Well, that's Malik for ya," Marik said with a good natured chuckle.

Psychologist Dude nodded. "He's certainly an odd one." Psychologist Dude was also wearing mismatching pajamas and fuzzy bunny slippers. "Now, who'll be first?"

"Yugi!" Yami shouted, pushing his hikari onto the ever present psychologist office leather couch. "See what you make of him, psycho-man."

"That Psycho-logist," Psychologist Dude muttered.

"Whatever," Yami muttered back. "Just cure him!"

"Right," Psychologist Dude said, turning to Yugi. "Talk to me, Yugi."

"Yo ho!" Yugi said with his scary little grin.

Psychologist Dude started scribbling in his notebook. "Uh huh. And?"

"Yo ho!" Yugi continued.

Scribbling more, Psychologist Dude nodded. "Could you explain it again, with more detail this time?"

"Yo…ho!"

Still scribbling, Psychologist Dude said, "Well, I think I've heard enough. Yugi is perfectly sane."

Everyone sweatdropped.

Yami sweatdropped twice. "But…He's…and…With the 'yo ho'…and the…"

Psychologist Dude shook his head. "Now, now, Yami, you'll get your turn. Let's give someone else a turn. Who wants to go next?"

"ME! ME!" Marik shouted.

Psychologist Dude looked around the room. "Anyone?"

Marik started waving his arms in the air. "PICK ME! ME! ME!"

"No one?"

Marik stood up and started jumping on the sofa. "ME! ME! Oh! OH! PICK ME! PICK ME! FOR THE LOVE OF RA, PICK ME! PLEASE? PU-LEEEEEEEEEZE! PICK MEEEEEEE!"

Psychologist Dude sighed. "Well, ok, I guess I'll just have to pick someone myself."

Marik retreated defeated back to the door.

"Hmmm…." Psychologist Dude pondered. "How about…You? Yes, you. The tan one. Yeah, you with the purple shirt."

Marik squealed in delight and jumped onto the couch. "By the way, it's lavender."

Psychologist Dude shrugged. "Whatever." He then turned to a new page in his notebook. "Ok. Speak your mind."

"Uhhh…What do I say?"

"Whatever's on your mind."

Marik frowned. "Umm…ok. Well, today, I woke up, and I was really bored. I mean REALLY bored. So I went outside. And all this weird stuff happened. And I had the mighty Seto Kaiba under my control!"

Psychologist Dude snapped his fingers. "That reminds me!" He pushed the intercom button on his desk. "Ummm…" he said, as he momentarily forgot his secretary's name. "Bob!"

"It's Janis," the obviously feminine, if flat voice of the secretary came from over the intercom.

Psychologist Dude nodded. "Right! I knew that! I was just…testing you! To see if you…umm…forgot!"

Janis sighed. "What do you want, sir?"

"Phone Mr. Kaiba. Tell him his appointment's today at two sharp."

"It's two now, sir."

"Oh…well…Call him now!"

Janis sighed even harder. "Yes, sir."

Psychologist Dude scribbled in his notebook. "Right, not to self: Get a less snippy secretary. Tell me more, Marik."

"I heard that sir."

Psychologist Dude winced and turned off the intercom. "Note to self: Remember to turn off intercom when talking about the secretary behind her back. Ok, go, Marik!"

"Right," Marik continued, "well, then things just got out of control. Noa came back from cyber-space and Pegasus was riding a giant blueberry muffin…And then we went to Egypt…And met Ra. Yes, the Sun God Ra. And we went to the Twilight Zone (dodododo dodododo). And that's been my day so far."

"Right." He finished writing intently in notebook. "You're fine. Next?"

…………………………………………………………………

Please excuse the interruption. We now bring you an important announcement from Random Dude.

"AAAAHHHHHHH!"

Poor Random Dude was still being chased down the street by the rampaging zoo animals.

"HELP! HELP!" I'm gonna die! Random Dude thought over and over again and he thundered down the street, trying to keep a few steps ahead of the animals behind him. Why's I have to take this job? Why don't I have a stunt double!

Suddenly, he heard the sound of hooves against pavement!

Well, that was understandable. He was being chased by zoo animals. Maybe it was one of the zebras…

No! Ot wasn't! It was different! Familiar! Like…Like…Flashback Guy?

"Grab my hand!" Flashback Guy, atop Drumsticks, shouted, coming up beside Random Dude. Wow, talk about good timing. Random Dude made a flying leap at the galloping pony and miraculously managed to grab Flashback Guy's hand. The cowboy pulled him up and they galloped away from the angry mob of animals.

A few blocks away, Flashback Guy stopped and helped Random Dude off the pony.

"Thanks," Random Dude said shakily.

Flashback Guy grinned. "No problem, ballerina-boy."

Random Dude looked down at the tu tu. "It's a long story. Maybe I'll tell you someday."

Flashback Guy nodded. "Only if I'm lucky." He looked up at the sky. "I should be getting back now, I guess. We've been really busy all day, y'know." He smiled softly, then mounted Drumsticks. "Later."

"Wait!"

Flashback Guy turned around in the saddle.

"I…er…What I mean is…How'd you know I was in trouble?"

The cowboy looked down and shrugged. "I just had this feeling, y'know?" He looked Random Dude in the eye and grinned. "Take care, Random Dude. Don't get into anymore trouble until I'm around to save you." He winked and rode off, leaving a very red in the face Random Dude wondering how exactly Flashback Guy could make him blush.

Also wondering where to find a normal pair of clothes….

…………………………………………………………………

Yami was shocked. "But…"

"I said next, damnit!"

Bakura sat on the couch, pulling Ryou onto his lap. "Hikari's father caught us making-out on the couch-"

Psychologist Dude put a hand up. "Don't need to hear that! You're both fine! Next!" He looked pointedly at Yami.

Yami jumped. "Me? But, I don't need to talk! I'm not insane!"

"I'll be the one to decide that," Psychology Dude mumbled. "Sit down and tell me about yourself."

"Ok…" Yami hesitantly sat down. "Well, I'm the 3,000 year old spirit of an Egyptian Pharaoh…"

Psychologist Dude frowned as he scribbled in his note book.

"And…Hey, what are you writing?"

"Nothing."

Yami stood up and walked over to the psychologist. "Come on, show me!"

Psychologist Dude closed the notebook. "No!"

Frowning, Yami shrugged and turned away. "Ok, fine." Once Psychologist Dude relaxed a bit, Yami turned around and tackled him. "GIMME!" He wrestled the notebook from Psychologist Dude. A coloring book fell out. Yami looked at Psychologist Dude, puzzled, and flipped to the page the doctor had been scribbling on. "A picture of…a bunny?"

Psychologist Dude beamed proudly. "I colored it all prettyful!"

Bakura snatched the notebook from the Pharaoh. "He colored outside of the lines…"

"It's a five year old's coloring book!" Ryou said, shocked.

"Really?" Marik asked. "Gimme!" He grabbed the coloring book from Bakura. "Mwahaha! Now I shall be the one to color the farm animals!"

"Yo ho!" Yugi shouted.

Psychologist Dude nodded. "I agree!" He jumped up on the window sill. "Look! I can fly! I'm like a bird! I wanna fly awayyy!" He lost his balance and fell into traffic. The heard of rabid cows came back and chased him all the way to Antarctica, where they visited with the penguins before going back to Domino for a dinner of spicy calamari. Rhode Island style.

Yami sweatdropped. "Let's go."

Marik shook his head. "Hold on, I'm coloring…"

END

Ok, that's it for now, kiddos. Next time, we visit Kaiba Corp and see how Seto (did you notice he wasn't in this chapter?), Set, and Jou are doing! And, a special guest! Well, a replacement, actually…And what are Bakura and Marik planning? Why? You'll have to check it out next time to find out! I promise, I'll try to make it sooner than two months!