Quote of the day: Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they? - George Carlin

W00t! Don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! But I do 0wnz RD, FG, and Drumsticks! Ha! How ya like them apples?

Recap: Psychologist Dude jumped out a window, everyone's still crazy, and Marik's coloring farm animals. I think it's time to see what Kaiba and the others are up to…

Chapter 12: The Shiny Red Button of DOOM!

Kaiba Corporation's main tower gleamed in the late afternoon sunlight, looking very much like some giant syringe about to draw blood form the sky. Which is impossible, because the sky doesn't bleed. And if Kaiba Corp tower was a syringe about to stab the sky, bad stuff would follow, because it would put a hole in the atmosphere and all the oxygen would be sucked out off of the planet and everyone would die. But that's not important, not at the moment anyway.

Inside this gleaming skyscraper, Seto Kaiba, his past self, and Jonouchi were steadily making their way up to the top of the building, Seto and Jonouchi sweatdropping because Set, this being his first time in an elevator, had pushed all the buttons and as a result, they were stopping at every floor.

Bob, a lowly desk clerk, pushed the elevator button on the 101st floor, needing very much to get back to his office on the 120th floor of the billion story building. The button lit up, and the steel doors slid open, revealing the most terrifying sight the clerk had ever seen.

There were two Seto Kaibas, one dressed in a strange outfit and wearing a skirt and an expression of bewildered wonderment, the other in the trademark gravity-defying trench coat with a glare on his face. The fact that there were two Kaibas didn't even faze Bob. Kaiba's icy glare was directed at him.

Bob did what any sane person would do whilst that bone chilling glare was directed at them. He dropped his briefcase and ran for his life.

The rest of the ride to the top went very much the same, Kaiba's glare scaring other people away, and Jonouchi quickly shutting the doors as the people fled and keeping Set still so the Egyptian didn't do anything else to rile the already riled CEO.

Finally, they reached the top floor and the elevator doors slid open, allowing the three to spill into the hall beyond. Well, the only one who literally spilled was Set, who had gotten elevator-sick and had fallen out of the machine to the floor. Seto and Jonouchi only walked out.

"Well, here we are," Seto said unenthusiastically.

Set leapt to his feet immediately. "This is it?" he asked excitedly. "Oh wow! What's this! And that machine? Does it run on magic? And – Ohhhhh! What's this? Can I eat it?"

"That's a copy machine," Seto listed off in a dull voice. "And a telephone. And no, you cannot eat the stapler."

At this last reply, a man jumped out from a random cubicle and grabbed the stapler, holding it possessively to his chest. "If you keep taking my stapler, I'll burn the building down!" With that he and the stapler disappeared back into the maze of cubicles.

"Wow," Jonouchi said, watching as the strange little man disappeared. "What a nutcase." He turned to Kaiba and grinned. "Like you, Kaiba!"

Seto sweatdropped. "I am not a nutcase," he muttered, wondering why Jonouchi had reverted to calling him Kaiba.

Set's question of, "What's this big red shiny button do?" stopped his dwelling immediately. "NOOOO!" Seto called, pushing Set's outstretched finger from the button. "You can never push that button! EVER!"

"See?" Jonouchi muttered to no one in particular. "Nutcase."

Seto sweatdropped and ignored him. "Set," he said calmly. "You can never push that button."

Set looked at him curiously. "Why not, oh future self?"

"Well," Seto began, "because-" The sound of a phone ringing cut him off. "Nameless secretary!" he called. "Get that!"

The secretary, whose name was Jenny and she hated her job because her real passion was police duty but she couldn't become a real officer because she flunked police school and got stuck in this dead-end desk job at Kaiba Corp to pay the bills, ignored the "nameless secretary bit and answered the phone.

"Kaiba Corp, how may I help you?" she said with false cheerfulness into the phone. "Yes. Oh, I see. But it's 2:00 now. Yes, of course. I'll tell him right away." With that, she hung up. "Sir? That was your psychologist. Your appointment starts now."

"Curses!" Seto said angrily. "I knew I forgot something!"

Jonouchi snorted. "You have a psychologist? I knew you were a nutcase!"

"Running a billion dollar company can be very stressful," Seto said calmly. "Especially if you're as young as I am and have had a troubled childhood. I only go to the psychologist to find other ways to vent my stress and anger." He then muttered to himself, "Other that running around the building on a tricycle whilst shooting people with paint guns and laughing maniacally…"

Jonouchi frowned, not having caught that last part. "What was that last part?"

"Nothing," Seto said innocently.

"Nutcase," Jonouchi muttered.

"What was that?" Seto demanded.

"Nothing," Jonouchi replied.

"Mutt."

"Richboy."

"Barking Chihuahua."

"Moneybags!"

"Third-rate duelist!"

"I'ma beat you, Kaiba!"

While Seto and Jonouchi were arguing, Set had once again fallen under the spell of the shiny red button.

"Button…" he said. Then, as if hypnotized, he slowly reached out and pushed said button.

"NOOOOO!" Seto shrieked as alarms began going off and a general feeling of chaos settled over the area. "Look what you've done!"

Set blinked. "Uhhh…What exactly have I done?"

"You pushed the self-destruct button!"

"A self-destruct button?" Jou burst out. "Why the hell would anyone put a self-destruct button in their company HQ!"

"It was Mokuba's idea…" Seto said defensively.

"Oh, sure, blame the kid…"

"The idea of spies in the form of ninja bunnies sent by the Egyptian government infiltrating my company to steal my technology is a very conceivable one!"

"Uhhh…Guys? Shouldn't we be getting out of here?" Set asked nervously.

Jou: How! Kaiba, do you have any secret doors or anything?

Kaiba: No.

Jou: We're all gonna die!

Kaiba: No, we won't. I can get us out. It won't be easy, but it should work…

While Kaiba explains his inconceivably elaborate plan that wouldn't really work in real life, let's go check on Yami and the others!

Yami sweatdropped as he took another look around the psychologist's office. Yugi was sitting with a slightly glazed look in his eyes and that stupid grin plastered on his face. A small tendril of drool was making its was from the corner of his mouth. Bakura and Ryou were making out again. Marik was still coloring.

"Let's go find Seto!" the deathly bored Pharaoh suggested.

"Yo ho…" Yugi accused.

Yami blushed fiercely. "That is NOT true!"

Bakura and Ryou continued making out.

Marik giggled with pleasure. "Ha! This is SO better that Where's Waldo…"

Ok! Back to Seto's plan!

The three were standing in front of a pile of ashes and rubble.

"I can't believe that worked…" Jou said breathlessly. "Who woulda thought? With just a stapler and a piece of string…I'm amazed."

Set nodded "As am I. I've never seen ANYTHING like that…"

Oops…I guess we missed it…

Seto said nothing, only stood in front of what was once his billion dollar empire looking very sad indeed.

Hanging his head, Set approached his reincarnation, eyes downcast. "I am sorry. It was I who destroyed your company when I fell under the spell of the red shiny button." He shook his fist. "Curse you, shiny button of doom!" He lowered his head in shame. "Forgive me."

Just then Seto turned to him, all traces of sadness gone. "Tch. No big deal. I can have another one built by tomorrow. I'm Seto Kaiba, remember?" His trench coat flared out importantly, despite the fact that there was no wind.

Set and Jou sweatdropped.

Yami chose that moment to suddenly appear, as if through a - a what, you might ask? Why, a plot hole, of course! – followed by Bakura and Ryou, who were holding hands, Yugi, who still had eyes as wide as a glazed donut, and Marik, who still had a handful of crayons and that coloring book.

The Pharaoh reacted with all the grace and suitability of his royal position. "SETO!" he yelled as he tackled the CEO in a glomp. It was then he noticed the ruin before them. "What happened?" he asked, eyes wide.

Seto, who was currently counting the pretty stars flying around his head, replied dazedly, "Ugh…My past-self blew up my building."

"Oh…"

All of a sudden, Flashback Guy galloped into the scene in a cloud of dust and glory.

Marik snorted. "Ok, what are you doing here?"

Flashback Guy tilted his hat to the Egyptian. "To give you an art award for your picture of the farmyard chickens!" With that said, he handed Marik a big shiny trophy.

Wiping a stray tear from his eye, Marik gasped, "I'm so proud!" before grabbing the trophy from the cowboy's hands.

"Farmyard chickens?" Seto asked, completely lost.

"Psychology Dude's coloring book," Yami filled in.

Amazed, Seto asked, "He let Marik have it?"

"Actually, he jumped out a window and died, so Marik just kinda took it."

"Oh…" A pause. "Guess I should cancel my appointment…"

Yami sweatdropped.

"So just why are you here?" Bakura asked very antagonisticly, getting all up in Flashback Guy's face.

Flashback Guy pushed his face back down. "Well, I've come to take Set back to the past."

"What?" Set asked, alarmed. "But I like it here!"

"Yeah," Flashback Guy agreed, "but if you stay here too long, you'll fade away to nothingness…"

Set's eyes went wide. "Well, it's been fun guys, but I gotta go!" He jumped up onto Drumsticks and impatiently waited for Flashback Guy to get going.

"Bye Set!" Seto called, waving.

"We'll miss you, you nutcase reincarnate!" Jou said, earning a glare from both past and present Seto.

"Yeah, yeah, later priest-man," Marik said absentmindedly, polishing his trophy.

Flashback Guy nodded. "Yeah, yeah, but the Flashback Department gave me another character to add to you guys to spice things up a bit." With that, he reached into a saddlebag and pulled out…

Everyone stopped and screamed at who he pulled out.

END

YAY! I got the next chapter up! Finally! YAAAAY! Yeah, I didn't get any fanfics done over the summer…Too busy I guess. Hopefully my updates will be sooner now, but I can't make any promises!

Next chapter! The secret character is revealed and all hell breaks loose! Literally…