Authors Note: I'm sorry for not updating. Vacation, you know?
Disclaimer: Ugh…..
Well, on with the fic!
THE CRONICLES OF RAVY AND ARTY:
Laughs and Old Friends.
Artemis (as usual) was arguing with Raven.
"Why on earth do I have to share a dorm!" cried a typically enraged Artemis.
Raven groaned. She had a very simple and fair explanation.
"Because, as I have been telling you for the last 6 and a half minutes I, well, 'I' being me and everyone else here, are way too lazy to build you another room."
Why is that so hard to comprehend?
"…Or clean out one of the other 28 rooms that hadn't been used in a century."
"Took you long enough. Geez and you're supposed to be a genius. You seemed so much smarter in the books."
Artemis, being the young criminal genius that he is, knew quite well that he had been slightly more that mentioned on websites. But books?
Raven gave a small smirk. She managed to get off the subject of rooms and dorms.
"Books? I'm sure there aren't any books about me, well…at least not me personally."
Raven made a hand gesture for Artemis to follow her.
Raven lead Arty down the halls and up the stairs, and then down the elevators, and back up escalators (which really doesn't make any sense at all) until finally after about 3 minutes they made it to a library bigger than the one in New York City.
"Wow. This place is enormous. It must have cost you a fortune. By the way, how did you get so rich? Inheritance? Thievery? What?"
Raven smiled. This was one of Ravens favorite topics.
"Not so much of that as betting. Thievery too but, well, you know how I can see the future from time to time? Well, I bet against nearly everyone whose rich and bets about things that seem incredibly unlikely, and win. There's a sucker born every minute."
Now, Artemis was looking in a section labeled Fairies in Gnomish. So, Raven knew Gnomish. Artemis was feeling less intelligent by the minute here. And he'd been here 26 minutes!
The point is, Artemis was looking threw the section and found a small, gold book. The fairy Bible!
"How did you…" he faltered. He saw next to where he found the Booke (that's how it's spelled in the books!) a small series of 4 books. All of which had the label Artemis fowl.
"What are these!" asked an astonished Artemis. Raven was currently flipping through a book called '1003 Medieval Torture Devices'.
"They're the Artemis Fowl series."
The 1st book said Artemis Fowl on it. Arty flipped through it and felt amazed and some how extremely disoriented by how accurate the book was. Down to the thought Artemis was thinking at that exact moment.
He paused and smiled when he read one of the conversations that was going on between Foaly and Root (Roots still alive in this fic, but he might not actually turn up till the sequel, WHICH THERE WILL BE!).
Suddenly the book was snatched out of hands by Bob Chickenfeather who had gone to his chicken coup to do nothing of any particular importance till this precise moment.
He read aloud: …and possibly Vinyaya, she's always had a thing for me, devilishly attractive as I am.
Artemis, and a few random other people who had just entered the room, started laughing hysterically. It's a very funny line!
"What's so funny?" asked a familiar voice from his computer.
Artemis stopped laughing and every one went silent as the grave. He opened his laptop and found on the screen, Foaly, Holly, and unfortunately for Artemis, Commander Julius Root.
"What are you laughing at? And why have you gone so quiet?" asked Root, who was currently turning quite a lovely shade of magenta.
"Yeah," said Holly, who was looking rather confused. "I don't think I have ever- no, I have never heard you laugh before."
"Yeah" said Foaly. "What is it?"
"Oh, a nothing. You had to of been there." Artemis Laughed nervously. Never a good sign.
"Really?" said Evil who can't keep her mouth shut. "I thought they were there."
Artemis glared at her.
"Huh? Were where? Who's that? Speak up Mud-Boy, what's so funny." Now Root's turning a vibrant deep shade of rouge red.
Then Raven moved into the picture so the Fairies down in Haven could see her.
"You might not find it funny, commander. But might I say you are turning a very nice shade of red."
Foaly and Holly had to cover their mouths to keep from laughing.
"Oh, great, you again." Commander Root pulled out one of his fungus cigars while turning now lobster red. "What do you want?'
"Me?" said Raven her smile growing by the second. "One: I believed you called Artemis. I was merely here at the time. Two. You know, smoking cuts your life in half. Three. We were laughing at this passage in this book here. Care to read it?"
Raven held the open book up to the screen. Holly and Foaly fell over laughing while Root turned a fire engine red. Has any one else noticed how many different shades of red there are?
"Anyways…"said Artemis desperate to change the subject." Why is it you called?"
Foaly, who had managed to stop laughing and speak said, "Well theirs been rumors of schools such as this, are competing in the annual "World Destruction Tour."
Authors not: It's kind of the beginning of a new plot here. Please review. Or I will not know what you guys like.
FriendofCrown: So, you like Bob? Doesn't everyone. Sorry that he wasn't here much, but he will be next chapter. And in here Arty isn't all that smart. Thanks for reviewing!
Indentitycrisis: You remind me of Eva! She really exists, so I decided to her in here! Along with a few other people. Good friend. Anyways, thanks for the kind words. Your cool. And I understand the forgetful thing. I, myself have ADD. So don't worry about that!
K: Okay, I can't tell if this is constructive criticism or if you are being sarcastic on the last part about being good at description. And this may come as a shock to you but this isn't Eoin Colfer writing the next book in the series, this is a 7th grade kid who's writing in the same format as every one else on the website. So, until I here you have a story up, don't dis me! It makes me sad!
Fell Dragon: HI FELL! I'm not surprised you liked it, you're in it! Well, not in this chapter but the next! Heard your stories coming along great!