Hello.Before commencing I'd just like to say a few words which none of you are obliged to read.First I have a message for a certain reviewer (Darkchestofwonders).Yes,ladies and gentlemen,the review this person posted kept me going for at least one more chapter.I want to tell you,Darkchestofwonders (catchy) that the other reviewer (LittleMissMorbid) wasn't the reason I stopped posting.(feel free to do whatever with her nipples).The reason was there were like 4 people reviewing and I thought "What's the point?" and just stopped.For you I made this next one.Oh and I'm flattered you're in love with me but if you're really "Sexy as hell" I don't think I'm the person you're looking for...if you are.I'm ugly,smelly,repulsive,not to mention gay,ignorant,selfish,evil,spoiled,rotten and many other bad things.
Disclaimer:I don't own anything.
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Meet the maker
Not long after the titans found an extraordinary girl who had a way
with rocks and Beastboy found something else.At first he liked her for
her looks,but after he got to know her better he found himself
enchanted by her wonderful attitude and sense of humor.
Beautiful morning.Beastboy woke up with a void in his
stomach.Thinking about nothing but a hot dish of tofu eggs,he went
through the corridors,passed Main Hall and walked into the kitchen in a
half sleeping-half awakened state and opened the fridge.The boy then
streched out his hand to the usual place of his tofu.Instead there was
a package of sausages.He pulled it out and closed the refridgerator
door,still thinking he was holoding his usual food.
"Sexy boxers BB."
All of a sudden the changeling woke up and noticed what he hadn't on the way here-Terra,sitting in a chair,sipping a cup of coffee.He tried to stay cool.
"Uh...yea.Thanks..you too...I guess."
The girl laughed.Her presence made Beastboy feel comfortable.He sat in a chair in front of her,still holding the package of sausages.
"So what's up?"
"Couldn't sleep.I woke up earlier so I got down here and made a cup of coffee.You?"
"Um...I'm just hungry so I'll be making myself some tofu eggs.I can make you some if you want...",he pointed at the package.
"BB that's not tofu.That's meat."
BB's smile faded and he threw the package like he would a giant bug...not that he was afraid of giant bugs but you get the idea .Terra laughed some more,while BB returned the sausages in the fridge,determined to find his vegetarian food.
'Wait!I can't find it!I can't find my tofu!THEY ARE THIEVES! THEY ARE THIEVES! THEY ARE FILTHY LITTLE THIEVES! WHERE IS IT? WHERE IS IT? THEY STOLE IT FROM US! IT'S OURS IT IS! AND WE WANTS IT BACK!"
"Uh...Beastboy?What the hell are you talking about?"
"Sorry,got carried away."
Beastboy was walking around the kitchen,cheking every possible location of his tofu.Suddenly it came to him.
"CYYYYBORG!"
The half robot was just entering the kitchen,rubbing his non-robotic eye.
"Mornin ya'll."
"Cyborg?"
"Yes,BB? "
"Have you seen my tofu?"
"No."
"LIAR!",the green teen launched himself on Cy's shoulders,punching everything his fists could find.The half robot calmly grasped BB by his T-shirt and held him in the air about a metre away from himself.
"Calm down,B.I'm sure we'll find it.Nice boxers by the way."
"AH!I'm hungry!I won't survive if I don't get any food soon."
"Why don't you just eat some normal food?",Terra suggested.
"NO!That would kill us!KILL us!"
"Huh?"
"I do eat normal food.It just doesn't contain anything that...that might be...fine I don't eat normal food cus I'm freaky,happy?"
"Pretty much."
"Good!Cus the day you see me eating meat is the day Robin will ask Star out."
Fifteen minutes later Cyborg was eating a dish of bacon and eggs,Terra was still sipping her coffee,while BB was sitting in front of a pair of sausages with a side dish of beef burgers.
"S'good BB!",Cyborg said with a mouthfull.The morphling laughed nervously.The food in front of him was disgusting by his opinion,but he felt the life force being drained by the hole in his empty stomach.
"Yea,just try some.It won't hurt you.",Terra suggested slightly amused.
"Uh...he-he...yea...sure...it's just food right?Just food coming from the rotting carcass of a dead animal!NEVER I will NEVER abandon my principles!I'd rather DIE from starvation
15 minutes later...
"PLEASE PLEASE CY!Make me some more steak!I promise I won't wipe my ass with it...this time.
"Well...OK,but if you disrespect my cooking again I'll have to punish you." It was now 8 am and none of the others had gotten up yet.The half robot made the promised steak and threw it in a plate in front of the changeling. "Eat up."
BB took his fork and knife,cutting a small piece of the meat.Slowly and uncertainly,he placed it in his mouth. "Chew,chew!",Cyborg encouraged him.Doing exactly that,BB swallowed the meat.
"Incredible.",he stated after a few seconds."You feel the energy of the animal.You chew what was once its tissue.You swallow ita cooked blood vessels,veins and muscle.Yet it's giving you force.The feeling of satisfaction.Dude,this is better than masturbating!
"I see it has the same effect.",Terra noticed.
"You like it?",Cy asked.
" 'Like'?Could you define 'Like' please?"
"Uh...to...enjoy something immensely?"
"No,Cyborg,if that's your definition of 'Like' I don't 'Like' meat.I do not merely 'enjoy it immensely '.I FEEL meat.Meat and I are one.Flesh and flesh.Like strangers,always seeking,never finding...until now.I AM now perfection." The three stood in silence a few more seconds.Slowly Cyborg stood up and started clapping,Terra followed.Tears filled the half robot's organic eye.
"Beautiful..."
"So is there any more?"
"Nope,sorry.That was our last steak."
"I need more."
"Go buy some."
"Where from?"
"The meat store."
"Why there?"
"Doh."
"You're right,stupid question.Can I borrow the car?",the changeling asked with hope.
"Nope."
"Ok.Well,I'm going now." Robin walked in yawning.
"Mornin."
"Hey Robin."
"Wuzzap?"
"Huh?"
"I'm going to the meat store.You wanna come with me?"
"Uh...no.I just got up."
"Yea...sure."
"I'll come with you.I'm too bored anyway",Terra said.
A couple of minutes later,Terra and BB were riding on top of a rock.When they reached Jump city,Terra parked her 'vehicle' and inserted a couple of coins into the parking meter.
"What are you doing?",the morphling asked.
"Being a good citizen?"
"But why are you...never mind.Now where's the meat store."
"Over there.",the girl pointed at a store with a 'Meat store' sign above it (doh).They walked in and BB shivered being before all that meat.The salesman looked at him with disgust :
"What do you want,plant eater?" It was obvious BB was famous for his despise of meat.
"...I would like to purchase animal flesh,preferably fresh and maybe some minced tissue with unknown origins.
"What my friend is trying to say is we want steaks,burgers,grilled chicken and some jerky.",Terra clarified
"Very well...as long as it's not for him.I won't sell my good products to that defiler!" BB jumped on the counter and shouted :
"JUST HAND OVER THE SALAMI AND I WON'T GUT YOU LIKE A PIGGY,OK?"
"Yes sure...hehe...right away.Do you want beef or pork salami?"
"I'll be havin myself some butcher salami if you don't shake a leg!"
"Ooh,macho.",Terra said with sarcasm.
"MIND YOUR TONGUE WOMAN!",the changeling hissed.The butcher whispered to the girl :
"We have that a lot recently.Vegetarians who'd previously had meat...they must be isolated and it is recommended that they are anaesthetized for 3 days."
"Gotcha",the girl said.
Later that day everyone was minding their own business.Raven had gotten up and was reading a moldy old book.Robin was talking to Starfire about a show he had seen-"When cute kittens go BAD!".The alien just gasped at when Robin showed her ,using a pillow,what a kitten had done to a 6 month old baby.
"AND THEN THE CARNAGE!BLOOD,GUTS,BRAINS ALL OVER!THE CAMERAMAN LAUGHING FIENDISHLY!"
Terra was...well washing her underwear in the sink or something,listening to her CD player.
"This is the house that funk built-Groove Armada style ..." Beastboy was watching his show on TV-"When cell phones go BAD!"
"HAHAHA!",he laughed."Hey Raven,did ya know that more people die from cell phone accidents every year than from rabid penguin attacks?Hey,come watch this with me."
"No.",the dark girl answered,still reading her book.
"Come on!"
"No."
"You see?I'm dealing with walls here!"
"Shut up."
"No wonder everyone hates you!"
"What did you say?"
"Nothing.."
"No.That was the most hurtful and unsulting thing anyone has ever told me."
"Sorry.I didn't mean it.Hey look!The man is getting electrecuted by his cell phone...cool"
"Already seen that." The computer started beeping.Robin pushed some buttons on the keyboard.
"Weird.Seems Slade is robbing a bank.Hm...people usually die when you break all their ribs.",he said puzzled.Raven had the honor of transporting everyone at the crime scene.Slade was just shooting eveything that moved.When Robin shouted out his name,the villain turned.
"Ah,the Teen Titans.I suppose you thought you'd never see me again huh?Well when I was sailing in my little jar-boat,neither dead nor alive,an old fisherman-faggot found me.He saved me,but wanted me to return the favor so I took off my pants and blah blah blah..." The masked man continued with his unending stream of information,so let's just skip this part.
"...and that's how I saved the turkish town Batman from certain doom.So robin,are you gonna throw your fancy gadjets at me now?
"No,not really...this is Teen Titans battle tactics number 45" The team leader got out two Desert Eagles and started shooting at the villain.Cyborg started blasting him with his sonic cannon,Terra aimed with a AWP sniper rifle,Raven with an AK-47,Beastboy with a MAC-10,while Starfire provided cover fire with a M249(extremely heavy machine gun,which stores up to 100 rounds).Slade took cover behind a counter.From nowhere,he got out a helmet,bulletproof vest and with incredible strenght and accuracy,started returning fire with dual M4A1's,complete with grenade launchers.The villain threw himself sideways out of his refuge,never letting go of the trigger.Unexpecting the violent outburst,the Titans were forced to pull back a little.Robin reloaded.
"Star!Covering fire!",he yelled,trying to outshout the accion.The tamaranian made a gesture,showing she understood."BB!You take the right and Raven the left!Cyborg!Take the point next to the plant!Terra!You stay put!If he shows himself,blast his friggin bucket!" The team leader returned the Eagles to their holsters and unhooked the MP5 from his back,beginning to advance slowly towards the villain.
"We runnin outta ammo here!",BB shouted.Robin threw himself forward,pulling the trigger.He caught the masked man by surprise,shooting him in the shoulder and legs.Slade cried out in pain as the hot blood gushed out of his wounds.The red liquid made its way forward his arms and flowed down the handle of the weapon.Despite the great pain,the maksed man aimed at Robin's head.The leader dodged the line of fire and took cover behind a counter.Realizing there wasn't any way to get out of this,Slade became aware of what he had to do.
"Strenght and honor!...",he said to himself,trembling slightly.The villain attached a bayonet to the M4A1.Recieving strenght from an unknown source,he threw himself at the unexpecting teens.
"PREPARE FOR HAND-TO-HAND!",Robin shouted.His teammates obeyed and prepared for the montrous collision.Slade was at about a metre from them,when,with inhuman ferocity,he waved with the bayonet and if he hadn't missed,that blow would've sent BB's head flying, but the green teen jumped back.Slade parried and dodged the shots and swings of the titans.Finally,too exhausted to fight,Slade pulled out a japanese Harakiri sword (Samurai used this when they lost a battle or dishonoured themselves in some way.It's basically suicide).
"STRENGHT AND HONOR!",he shouted once again before stuck the sword in his torso and fell on the ground.
"Harsh...",BB said,wiping the sweat on his face with his sleeve.
"Well titans",Robin started.It was now night and they had gathered in the main hall."I think we learned something today.Battle tactics number 45 is a failure and our powers were given with a reason." Slade had been stransported to a hospital.
"So can I keep my MAC?",BB asked with hope.
"No."
"Aight scumbags listen up.I'm gonna show you what I've been working on.My secret project.",Cyborg said and everyone followed him to a dark room on the second floor.
"Ladies and gentlemen.",the half robot announced."I give you the fruit of my labours.The latest in hero technology.The...WAFFLEIZER v6.10b!",he pushed the light switch revealing a two metre tall machine with a single red button.
"WHAT!",the others gasped.Robin walked forward.
"You mean to tell me you wasted Batman's money on a damn WAFFLE IRON!"
"Not a waffle iron,no!",Cy exclaimed."It turns evil guys into waffles!"
"Huh?"
"It's funny!Waffles"
"Huh?"
"I'll demonstrate",Cyborg pulled a regular thief from outside the screen."Observe." He pushed the red button and a great big flash blinded everyone.After a few seconds the half robot's sight cleared and he could see the ground scorched where the machine was supposed to be,but it was gone.Along with Raven,Robin and BB.Cyborg helped Terra and Star up.
"Where are our friends?",the tamaranian asked worriedly.
"I don't know.I'll check." The half robot started pushing some buttons on his arm.
Raven - ?
Robin - ?
Beastboy - ?
"I don't get it.I'll try the main computer." The three went downstairs,where the same thing happened-Raven's,Robin's and BB's coordinates were unknown.
"Hmm...it's possible my machine triggered a wormhole sending them into different...hmm..."
"What?",Terra asked.
"Don't know.Planets,dimensions...different times in history.
"Your history...how big is it?",Star asked.
"Quite big Star,quite big."
"So it won't be easy to find them?"
"No It's impossible.We can only speculate where they are..."
Raven got up,still blinded by the flash.
"I don't think the Waffleizer was a success,Cyborg...",she said rubbing her eyes.When she opened them she found herself on a large green field.It didn't take her long to realize she wasn't in Titans' tower anymore.The girl tried contacting her teammates through her communicator,but she coudn't get a signal."Hm...strange",she said to herself.
Raven levitated 15 metres into the air and looked around.She could see nothing but fields and cliffs..The girl moved a little so she could see over a hill...and froze.
"This is...impossible...",Raven said to herself,becoming the witness of a battle with apocaliptic measures.
Beastboy couldn't understand.When the flash faded he found himself in the same place he had been ,only the others were gone and there was a window in the room,that wasn't there before.The changeling started walking downstairs,only too see himself playing videogames.He instinctively hid behind the door-frame.Something wasn't right here.Last time he checked HE was Beastboy.Now he saw himself on the couch,playing videogames!'AM I DEAD?',he thought.'Nah,can't be.I'm solid.Wait!What was that thing Cyborg told me?...
"BB,always remember not to smoke and drink at the same time,cuz the other day you're practically dead man!"
NO!Not that!This!
"BB,It's possible that when an experiment goes wrong,you get sent to another dimension."
'Right,right...WHAT!SHIT!',BB thought.Raven walked into the room.Our BB transformed into a fly,so he woudn't be seen.
"You're in my seat",she said to the other BB.'Some things never change',our BB said to himself.The other BB grabbed her by the wrist and kissed her passionately.To our BB's surprise she didn't pull back.'WHERE AM I !',he asked himself,still not believing his eyes,which he closed after Raven layed down on the other BB.Suddenly,the other changeling lost all interest he had for the video games...
When he regained consciousness,Robin realized he wasn't home.In fact,he didn't know where he was.There were ruined buildings and rubble all over.He tried unsuccessfully to contact the others.The team leader looked around.Then he saw something on the ground that filled him with panic and brought him to the ground.
"No...",he whispered as his eyes were layed upon the date of a nearby newspaper-
26.04.1945