Disclaimers: Gundam Wing and its characters do not belong to me.

Warnings: shounen ai, language in later parts, Relena bashing? (I'm not trying to, but some people will hate her anyway.)

Author's Notes: Well, my muse has been on a roll lately. Not that I'm complaining...

Courtship Rituals

By Rapunzel

Chapter 7: Weirdness

Not for the first time, Heero found himself wishing that their living room clock didn't tick. Most of the time it didn't bother him; in fact, he'd grown so accustomed to the sound that he'd stopped noticing it some time ago. Now, however, after sitting in silence in the living room for too long, the constant, quiet ticking was grating on his nerves. He'd given up pacing several hours ago when he'd noticed that he was wearing a noticeable path into the carpet. Now he simply sat on the couch with his head in hands, waiting for Duo to return.

After about an hour of furious pacing earlier in the evening Heero had reached the conclusion that maybe he had been slightly out of line. After all, he'd never actually told Duo that he didn't want to date Relena. He'd gone along with the whole thing, so he was at least partially at fault too. He'd followed the plan even when he'd begun to realize that his goal had changed. He no longer cared so much about making Relena happy, but more about proving himself to Duo and everyone else. But how was Duo to know that when Heero himself had barely realized it? Duo could just as easily have interpreted his determination as devotion to Relena. In that case, his efforts to help Heero could be seen as more supportive than manipulative.

And when it came down to it, hadn't Duo taken his side? Hadn't he told Relena he wouldn't try to make Heero change just because she wanted him to? But Heero really hadn't been paying much attention to that, he'd been too busy nursing his anger and resentment. And then he'd gone and accused Duo of being manipulative and disloyal. And he'd mocked Duo's feelings for him, and said deliberately hurtful things...

Okay, so he'd been way out of line.

Of course, he couldn't actually apologize to Duo until his roommate returned, hence all the waiting.

Rubbing his eyes, Heero glanced up at the clock. It was almost midnight, and still no sign of Duo. Heero felt a surge of guilt when he considered that whatever he had said to hurt Duo so much must have been bad indeed if it was taking him this long to calm down. Heero himself wouldn't have said that he was exactly calm, but after having so much time to himself to think things over, he was ready to discuss things with Duo without losing his temper again.

After Duo had walked out earlier in the evening, Heero had decided that it might be helpful to try and analyze the recent events and the reactions both he and Duo had had to them. In fact, the soldier part of his mind told him that he should have done so long ago, but then hindsight was always perfect. And so, during the course of his pacing and his sitting, he had thought things over and reached a few conclusions.

After thinking over the first conversation he had had with Duo on the subject of dating, Heero had decided that he probably had given Duo sufficient cause to think that he was interested in Relena. Granted, Duo had been the one responsible for the introduction of the subject, but Heero's responses could easily have given him the impression that he was in love with the princess. When seen in that light, Duo's attempts to help him started to look less like a conspiracy cooked up by Relena.

The next conclusion Heero had reached was that his anger towards his roommate following Duo's confession was mostly irrational. His anger had been more of a cover for his hurt than anything else. And he had been hurt, hurt that Duo had not pursued him. His logic told him that if Duo had loved him, he should have made some sort of effort to let Heero know. Certainly he should not have made an effort to hook the object of his affections up with someone else. Looking back on it, Heero realized the his logic had one major flaw: he had not taken into account the fact that Duo thought he had been in love with Relena. Of course Duo would not pursue him if he thought there was no hope. In fact, Heero had to grudgingly admire Duo's selflessness in the matter, even if he still thought that Duo should not have acted as he did.

This conclusion and the thoughts that led up to it had sparked another realization. Heero himself felt rather strongly for Duo. Not having ever been in love before, he could not be sure if that was what he was feeling or not, but there must have been something there, or else he wouldn't have wanted Duo to pursue him. He wished that he had simply tried to date Duo from the start. Duo wouldn't have minded his screw-ups as much. For that matter, Duo probably wouldn't have made him bother learning the social rituals at all, since he knew how inept Heero was when it came to such things. Duo understood him better than anyone else.

The last conclusion Heero had come to was that he was an idiot. Just as Duo prided himself on knowing Heero, Heero prided himself on knowing Duo. He should have seen the signs ages ago. But they had all been little things, small gestures of caring that Heero became so accustomed to that he never realized their significance. It would have taken something big to get his attention on that score. In some ways, he was no better than Relena.

There were footsteps out in the hall. Heero's head jerked up as he looked expectantly towards the door. Sure enough, a moment later he heard the handle turn and the door open quietly. There were two soft thumps as Duo removed his shoes, and then he was in the living room and staring at Heero with tired eyes.

"You waited up for me," he said softly.

Heero nodded. "We need to talk."

Duo winced. "Please don't say that."

"Why not?" Heero asked, puzzled.

"Because," Duo said, "those four words have spelled doom for an awful lot of relationships."

"Well, they won't spell doom for this one," Heero said firmly, trying to muster conviction for something he wasn't really sure of.

Duo looked surprised for a moment, then he gave Heero a half hearted smile.

"When I said we needed to talk," Heero persisted, "I meant that I need to apologize. I shouldn't have accused you of trying to manipulate me when you weren't."

Duo sighed heavily and padded over to sit next to Heero on the couch, his eyes downcast. "But I was, in a way," he said sadly. "I just thought that it was what you wanted."

Heero nodded. "I know. I thought it was what I wanted too, for a while at least. But, Duo, I really don't like Relena as much as all that. And after all that's happened, I doubt she likes me much either."

Duo raised his head in surprise. "You don't?"

Heero shook his head.

"But you tried so hard to impress her," Duo said. "I mean, yeah, I gave you some pointers, but you were the one who worked hard to follow them."

"I wasn't trying for her," Heero said with a shrug. "I was trying more for myself, I guess. Trying to get things right for once."

"Trying to prove that you could do anything," Duo said, nodding in understanding. "Yes, I see now. That's just like you, really."

"I'm sorry you misunderstood my intentions," Heero said apologetically, "but I didn't really understand them either."

Duo gave him a tentative smile. "That's okay," he said. "I hope you'll forgive me for trying to make you do something you really didn't want to. You're right, it was Relena's plan. She asked me not to tell you because she was worried about your pride getting in the way, but I still shouldn't have gone behind your back like that."

"Apology accepted," Heero said. "I think I know why you did it."

"Yeah." Duo shifted uncomfortably. "Listen, about that... about what I said earlier, I don't suppose there's any way you could just... forget about that, is there?"

"Forget about it?" Heero repeated in surprise.

Duo made a wry face. "Yeah. Look, I know you're not good with relationship stuff, and I don't want you to feel pressured or anything, but I don't want things to change between us either."

Heero's eyebrows had practically climbed into his hair by this time.

"I mean," Duo amended hastily, "that I like being friends with you and living with you and everything, I don't want that to change, so... just forget about it, if you can."

Heero considered this, then he shook his head slowly. "I can't just forget about it."

"Oh," Duo said sadly. "I guess that's not surprising, considering you." He was silent for a moment, sitting with his head bowed, then in a rather small voice, he asked, "Are things going to get weird between us now?"

"I don't know," Heero said thoughtfully. "I guess that depends on what you think is weird. Would it be weird if I asked you to go out to dinner with me this Friday?"

Duo's head shot up in surprise. "Dinner?" he repeated. "Heero, you're not still trying to prove that you can do that dating thing, are you? Because I don't think it really matters-"

"That may be part of it," Heero said, interrupting him, "but that's not the main reason. I know what I'm asking."

Duo considered him. "Are you sure?" he asked. "I know you don't like going out in public much. You don't have to if you don't want to."

"I know," Heero answered. "You'd let me back out and not be upset. And that's why I want to."

The smile Duo gave his was a thing of beauty, but he only had a moment to marvel at it, for then Duo's lips were pressed rather firmly against his. Having never been kissed before, Heero was unsure of how to describe the sensation, except that it was exhilarating.

When Duo pulled back, Heero gave him a slight smile. "So I take it you'll come?"

Duo laughed. "Of course! Boy, Heero, if this is your idea of weirdness, I'd say normality's overrated anyway."

/-/-/-/-/

"You have reached Vice Foreign Minister Dorlian's office, how may I help you?"

"Is Relena in?" Heero asked.

"Oh, Mr. Yuy," the female voice at the other end of the phone chirped, and Heero reflected that it was sign of how often he had called the office recently that she recognized him without his having to identify himself. "I'm glad you called. Ms. Relena wanted to speak to you."

Heero felt a surge of apprehension. He wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

"Hang on just a moment," the secretary was saying, "I'll put you straight through."

There was a faint click, and then it was Relena speaking. "Hello? Heero?"

"Yes, it's me," he said.

"Oh good," Relena said. "I've been hoping you would call."

"Well," Heero said, "I have some things I needed to talk to you about."

"Yes?" Relena said, sounding interested.

"First of all," Heero said, "I think that I probably owe you an apology for the way our last get-together went. I was careless when setting the oven temperature, so that mess was my fault, and I suppose it was unfair of me to be irritated with you."

"Oh, Heero, that's okay," Relena said with a little laugh. "It's all in the past."

"Yes," Heero agreed. "That incident is in the past. But what about the next one? Or the one after that?"

"What do you mean?" Relena asked.

"I mean," Heero said, "that I don't think that things will really work well between us. We're not really all that compatible."

"Heero?" Relena said weakly, sounding like someone had just sucker punched her.

Heero felt a mild surge of guilt for that tone, but quashed it fairly easily. After all, this was for the best. "I'm sorry, Relena, but I don't think I'm the man you're looking for. Better luck in the future."

"Wait, Heero!"

He hung up. Taking a deep breath, he let it out again in a relieved sigh. It felt as if a very large weight had been lifted off of him.

/Thank goodness that's over./

/-/-/-/-/

"You broke up with her over the phone?" Duo said incredulously. "Jeez, Heero, how tactless can you get?"

"I thought tactless was what I was going for," Heero said calmly. "That's the way I am. And if anything, this should just help convince her that she really wants nothing to do with me."

"Well," Duo acknowledged after a moment of consideration, "when you put it like that, it does seem reasonable. All the same, you don't want to hurt her feelings."

"Her feelings would have been hurt no matter how I'd done it," Heero said. "But hopefully she'll get over it and we can still be friends. I don't want things to get weird between us."

Remembering Heero's most recent definition of weirdness, Duo frowned and muttered, "Well, I should hope not."

Heero laughed.

Tbc...

Author's Notes: Almost there! Just one more chapter, I think, and then I'm done.