Castles in the Air
House looked up at the 337 stairs of the cathedral in Palma Majorca. Then he looked into Cameron's face, "Go ahead with the rest of the group. I'll be fine here." He looked over to the guy who had copper makeup to match his copper clothing, doing an impersonation of a statue.
Cameron bit her lip, "I'll stay with you."
He huffed, "I insist. I've seen at least a dozen cathedrals in my life. This one looks really interesting. Go, catch up with Mario and the group. You can come back and tell me all about it."
"I'm not a child. If I want to stay here with you, then you'll just have to deal." She sat down on the cement bench with him. Their guide looked at them, waiting for a decision so that he could frog-march the group through the cathedral in enough time to see Valledomosa as well.
"Cameron, you're making me angry. Trust me, this is a place that you're only going to get one-shot at. You're here today. The cathedral is here today. Get up off that amazing ass of yours and go look at it. I think there's a holy relic in there. John the Baptist's halo or something." He put his hand on her shoulder, "You have to acknowledge that there are some things I can't do. That doesn't mean that you can't do them. Please. If you don't see it because of me, then I'll feel terrible."
She was torn. If he had to miss out, then she didn't want to see it either, except that it was beautiful and intriguing. "I know you're manipulating me."
"Is it working?" He stared off towards the sea. The day was bright and sunny, the water deep turquoise, combined with the sandstone buildings it made a gorgeous post-card.
"No, but I'm going anyway." She stood up and started the climb.
House smiled. A victory. Small, but important. The group was gone for about 45 minutes. When they returned he and Cameron lined up to get back on yet another bus. A representative of the cruise had come along to insure that all of her charges were accounted for. "It's a shame you couldn't have seen it Dr. House, it was beautiful." She chimed, as though it was a choice, not a necessity.
He was about to say something when Cameron cut him off, "You know, in the future, you might want to let people who might have physical limitations know what to expect. Imagine coming all this way and not being allowed to see it." Cameron glared at her, holding eye contact a few seconds longer than necessary to make her point.
The woman cowered and mumbled something before resuming her count. House sat in his seat next to her. Two women sat across the aisle from him clutching bags from the gift shop. "Do you think we'll have a chance to do some shopping? I understand that the pearls here are amazing." The one asked the other.
Cameron leaned over, still steamed from the insensitive remarks. "Jesus, is there any place they won't shop? I think that they'd buy condoms in the restroom, if that was their only option."
"Miffed much?" House commented.
"I just makes me so mad!" She said, squeezing his arm, "Do you think they'd let the guy with the cane know that the tour is…contra-indicated? No. Let's bring him along and tease him, you can look, but you can't go in. Then we've got these…consumers who are just looking at this as an opportunity to buy more crap they don't need to fill an emptiness they can't describe. The whole thing is sick." She took a gulp of water from her bottle. "No wonder you're so grumpy all the time."
"Calm down. You're scaring our guide." He indicated the pleasant, white-haired man who pretended not to understand her rant. "It's a different culture. You certainly do take the ADA for granted though."
"I never gave it any thought." She admitted, "Until now."
"That's as it should be. You're young and healthy; you should be carefree and thoughtless. God knows I was. I have to say though, I really like elevators. Although how would you retro-fit an elevator in a beautiful old church like that?"
She pondered that, "I have no idea. Tunnel underneath and have it come up some, old, forgotten servant's passage or something?"
"No, some things need to remain unspoiled. There are enough pleasures in the world for me to enjoy that I'm not going to pine after what I can't have." He said philosophically.
"Are you kidding? You? You've been pining for the last six years over things you can't have." She laughed.
"Okay, maybe this is my new motto." He stared out the window as they made their way up a lush, green mountain. "Pain in the ass."
In Valledemosa they walked through centuries old streets. It was a quiet, mountain town, shaded by olive trees and dominated by an ancient church. Their guide took them through narrow streets, pointing out the plaques of the patron saint of the village. The ladies ooh'd and ah'd over the charming architecture, but they craned around for a retail opportunity. "Mario? What would be a good thing to buy from this region?" They asked.
Cameron whispered into House's ear, "Condoms. I'm telling you."
As they came back into Palma, the guide gave them an opportunity to get off in the shopping district, again typified by a Benetton and hundreds of outlets for buying Majorcan pearls.
As people pushed their way off the bus, House and Cameron waited for the crowd to disperse onto the high street. "So, want to check these pearls out?" He asked.
"Not really." She said, sitting back in her seat.
"No? Not even as a present from me?" He said it quietly, embarrassed by his status as a prospective bestower of jewels.
"It's a lovely thought, but would you be buying pearls for me if we weren't here?" She said, "Let's just go back to the ship."
"Okay. If that's the way you feel." He sat back and sulked.
"Don't pout. You don't have to buy me a present. You certainly don't have to buy me one in a tourist trap."
"It was a generous impulse." He explained.
She kissed him on the cheek, "And I appreciate it."
Later in the show lounge House sat expectantly waiting for the curtain to rise. Cameron held the program and drank a Baileys and coffee with a giant blob of whipped cream on it.
"How is that?" House shuddered at the sweet drink and took a sip of his scotch.
"Mmmmm." She replied.
"Needs and umbrella or a cherry or something." He commented. "So they flew these guys in just for tonight?" He had a far away look in his eye.
"From La Scala it says here." She showed him the program.
"So they're going to be really good." He shifted in the chair in anticipation.
The cruise director came out and gushed effusively and introduced The Three Tenors. They weren't the original Three Tenors, but they were respectable members of the franchise.
House hung onto the edge of his seat. They sang popular operatic pieces, things most people only heard in commercials. They sang old standards with an operatic bent. At one point House's eyes closed and he became transported by the melodies and harmonies blending together.
Cameron saw how much he enjoyed it and tried to pay better attention. She looked around. Some people talked, ordered more drinks and checked their watches waiting for the casino to open. She knew that when they got home they'd all brag about how wonderful the Tenors were without having any idea of what they were listening to.
He reached for her hand, as though wanting to share his joy in the music transdermally. She smiled and squeezed his fingers. Not wanting to say anything that would distract him.
After their encore, he sat reflecting while the rest of the audience rushed to get to the duty-free store or the blackjack tables. "Do you want to go play the slots or something?" He asked, realizing that the concert might not have been her cup of tea.
"No. I might have to say something cordial to these Philistines and I'm in a really good mood right now." She looped her arm through his as they walked back to their cabins.
"So what did you think?" He asked.
"I didn't enjoy it as much as you did, but I don't think that there was any way that I could have." They waited for the elevator.
Dr. Weston and Angie approached them. "Hey! Dr. House, Allison! Where've you been hiding yourselves?" The leer was implied.
Angie was dripping in pearls. Bracelet, rings, a long necklace. She looked like a little girl who had been playing in her mother's jewelry box. "Didn't you love the cathedral? And the pearls! Well, I guess I was a good girl." She giggled, "I'm going to play the slots and spend some more of my husband's money."
"Wow, all three strikes." Cameron remarked, then she laughed and turned to House, "Hey, you're rubbing off on me."
"It was bound to happen." He said, "Hey, look, here's our elevator now. Come on, we don't want to keep the Westons from their amusements." He steered her in and pressed the button. "They deserve each other."
"That's a creepy thought. House, do you think that people think that we deserve each other?" She held the door open for him as it opened on their floor.
"Well we do, don't we?" He thought about it, "Actually, no. I don't deserve you at all. And you've never done anything to deserve a misanthropic jerk like me. Seriously Allison, why do you want to be with me?"
She opened her door and went in. "I don't know." She said airily, ducking into the closet to change.
"You know. Tell me." He sat on the foot of the bed.
She sat next to him, "You're very handsome and sexy."
"Lot's of people are attractive and sexy. So I don't think that's it. Come on, you can tell me."
"I'm nice." She said.
"I've noticed, I'm not. It's not really a match."
"I'm talking about the kind of nice that's repressed and unhealthy. I want people to like me, to be nice back to me. My whole life I've been a peacemaker and a placater and I'm tired of it. I love how you just say what's on your mind and you don't care what anyone thinks."
"So it's my charm?" He took off his jacket and shoes.
"No, it's because you don't care about charm, or feelings or anything except what's right. That's a total turn on."
"So is the idea that by being with me that you'll somehow morph into someone who doesn't need everyone's approval? Aren't you, in fact, seeking my approval most of all?" He regarded her skeptically.
"I didn't say it was perfectly thought out. I think that my liking you has something to do with me wanting to change. It's psychological and stuff. I'd actually have to go into therapy to really understand it. How about we don't worry so much about the why, let's just go with it." She kissed him on the cheek. "What exactly are you so afraid of?
He silently sat, contemplating everything. "You'll get tired of my shit one day."
"Oh, House." Cameron sighed. She held him tight.
"Allison…" he started.
"You need to shut up because you're about to say something stupid." She informed him, reaching behind him to dim the lights. He opened his mouth to protest and found that her lips were on his. "I can do this all night." She threatened. Or was it a promise?
Author's Note: First of all to jeevesandwooster, yes dears, it's a joke. I think we all know what merde means. For all of you who are catching the literary references, you have warmed the cockles of my former English-teacher heart. I highly recommend a liberal arts education, with a strong emphasis on literature. Read more books!