Okay, I'm messing around with Hisana's character here, especially since we know nothing about her. So if she turns out to be Byakuya's blood sister or something, please don't get grossed out; remember, at this point in time, we know absolutely nothing about her. Thank you ne ;-p
reiatsu – I don't know how to explain this. I guess the way others translate it – "spiritual pressure" – is okay, but I don't like it. But I have no other definition…
Review if you like. No flames, please.
AI NO KANSHOKU
Byakuya x Hisana
Byakuya couldn't care less that he was going to be married.
Killing Hollows, becoming captain, getting married – they all had a hint of tediousness that he simply forced himself to live through, being unable to do anything else about it. And this girl that the Kuchiki family elders had decided for him…well, he didn't even know her name.
In fact, before she came to live with them, the most he knew about her was just the fact that she was a noble. That would be a given, seeing as to how a noble such as himself would not marry out of his class.
A few weeks before the wedding, she came to live with them.
Outwardly, Byakuya seemed indifferent. Inwardly, he was pleased that she was at least pretty, especially when the touch of a smile would brush her face, that she was soft-spoken, and had a gentle sort of feminine kindness that she would shower among everyone she met. And he learned her name, too: Hisana.
Byakuya got the surprise of his life that one time when he walked into his sleeping quarters and found her there, sitting up next to his bed, a solitary candle her only companion at that late hour. After his curt, direct questions and her soft, hesitant answers, he got the drift: apparently, his elders felt that they were already coupled and therefore, the time was well and enough for him to take liberties with her body.
It was disgusting, especially since she was obviously terrified at the thought, and since he had asked of no such thing. The dim light of the candle, flickering in her large eyes, seemed to make her a little younger then…a child's eyes facing an adult's world. Byakuya did nothing; he lay down and bid her do the same, saying he wouldn't touch her, and would she hurry up and blow out the candle?
He didn't know, but Hisana smiled then.
That began their life together, unmarried as they were; Hisana would generally go about doing her own things and he with his. However, after that night, she was never afraid to speak to him, to ask him trivial things or just to muse over her thoughts.
"Byakuya-sama?"
He looked at her.
"How much older than me are you?"
"Several centuries."
She nodded. "…oh, I see."
Or…
"Byakuya-sama?"
He looked at her.
"Why are you the only one without a vice-captain?"
"He was killed in battle recently. There hasn't been the time for a new vice-captain trial yet. I haven't mentioned it."
"Oh…" she said, and her eyes became large, "That's too bad. He missed out on serving under the best captain of the thirteen."
She thought he was pure, that he was perfect and merciful. And even though Byakuya knew she thought this, over the passing days, he somehow could never bring himself to change this aspect of himself in her eyes and say the horrible truth: that he was cold, ruthless, death in its definite and cruelest sense. Hisana herself was no shinigami; she was much too frail to hold a sword and fight. Thus, she held no correspondence with any other shinigami, and never had any other opinion of him with the exception of her own.
And Hisana thought a lot more than she let on, because whenever they were together, she would just talk to him about the first thing that came to her mind. Byakuya would walk the halls of his expansive house with her at his side. Strangely, it never bothered him to hear her voice. Most other times, he would quickly tire of pointless chatter people directed at him and he would make excuses to leave. But his fiancée, with her soft voice and gentle smile, never left him with this feeling.
The day before the wedding, Byakuya had been looking for her all over the house. Finally, some time later, he had found her in the garden underneath the shade of a flowering tree. The leaves were lightly falling, and, as she sat there with the layers of her kimono spread around her in a delicate wave, she reminded Byakuya of some exotic flower – too beautiful to be picked, just enough to be looked at.
He approached, and she opened her eyes.
"Ah, Byakuya-sama! I'm sorry. I didn't see you. I was just breathing in all the air in your garden, because the flowers are so pretty."
Ignoring her apology, he said, "Tomorrow, this will be your garden, too."
She gave him a smile and a delightfully surprised look. "Only by law. But as far as just the feeling of it itself…this will always be the garden of the head of the Kuchiki household, and no other. Just as how the other Kuchiki servants and elders will always hold more loyalty to you than me, even when we do marry tomorrow, simply because you are their master and I'm just your wife," she said, smiling in a carefree manner at him. "That's just the way it is, you see?"
"Do you mean to say that someone of this house has disrespected you?"
His question was serious. Had she indicated anyone, Byakuya most likely would have killed them.
However, she shook her head. "Oh, no, of course no one has. They respect you too much to do so. Please, never mind anything I said," Hisana let out a laugh, "I think I'm starting to say all nonsense. All the scent in the air is intoxicating. Please excuse my conversation, Byakuya-sama."
She was the first person to ever act in such a manner with him. What made her act differently from everyone else? Why did she smile and laugh when everyone else bowed and cowered at his gaze?
Suddenly this was important to him.
"Is this fine with you?"
Hisana stopped looking at the falling leaves to glance at her husband-to-be. "Excuse me, Byakuya-sama? Is what fine with me?"
"This marriage."
"It was arranged, and we both consented," she said, eyes gentle. "Of course it's fine with me if it is with you."
"That is not what I meant. You might consent on the outside simply because the head of your household told you to. Is that really consent?" he asked, eyes never leaving hers. "That's why I ask: is this arrangement really suitable to you?"
She smiled. "Are you giving me a choice?"
For the first time in his life, Kuchiki Byakuya hesitated.
"…yes."
At his reply, she blinked. Obviously that was not the answer she had been expecting. This was an arranged marriage and she was marrying into the highly prestigious Kuchiki family; there should be no room for discussion on her part. Her gaze turned a little more serious, a little less playful.
"Why? Do you wish to marry someone else, Byakuya-sama?"
"That is not what I asked of you. Do not force me to repeat myself."
Maybe it was his voice, or the look on his face – whatever it was, suddenly Hisana smiled, that smile which Byakuya thought made her face that much prettier. "Byakuya-sama, I am fine with this arrangement. It does not bother me in the least. And just so this will be cleared up, I will say it now, without any fancy words."
She leaned forward until their noses were inches apart. "I want to marry you, Byakuya-sama," Hisana said slowly, very plainly, the words somehow more clear in his state of mild surprise at her direct words. "Now you know how I feel; please don't doubt this again." And she pulled herself away and smiled at the look in his eyes. Turning her face back to the sky, she added, "Isn't it a pretty day?"
And then Byakuya felt the peace in his heart.
The next day, their marriage went off without a problem. All the other noble families came to celebrate, and all in all, it was a happy day, filled with much laughter and merriment and too much drink all around.
After that, life settled back down into a semblance of normalcy.
"Byakuya-sama?"
"…?"
"May I put some flowers in this room? Would you mind? I think it would brighten it up."
"…you may."
And:
"Byakuya-sama?"
"…?"
"Are you all right? You look tired."
"…it's nothing. I've had too much paperwork, is all."
"Take care of yourself, Byakuya-sama."
And:
"Byakuya-sama?"
"Yes, Hisana?"
"You know, I like you better without your kenseikan," she said, running her fingers through his dark bangs. She gently brushed them to the side. "Without them on, and without this" – she tugged his scarf off – "you look just like a regular person, not the exalted Kuchiki Byakuya everyone sees but no one knows…"
"…Hisana?"
"No, I'm just thinking out loud…" she said, smiling softly.
The days went on, and this continued. How just a simple presence could bring peace to the master of a strict household was a miracle, but no one questioned it; they would just smile secretly as Kuchiki Byakuya walked by, very aloof and dignified, while his smiling wife linked their arms and made light conversation.
But of course, as Byakuya should've known, happiness never lasts.
He was acutely aware of this as he stood in the doorway of the room, large and bare, with the edges of her kimono hanging limply over the edges of the table, the white cloth covering her face not being large enough to fully hide her form from view.
Words rained down upon his ears – "Hollow," and "helpless," and "surprise attack," and "sorry," were all words repeated quite often, and they made no sense until Byakuya jumbled it all together in the white-blank slate of his mind. He stormed out of that room without a second look back.
That particular Hollow never stood a chance. Powerful though it was, Byakuya could have destroyed it with the force of his murderous reiatsu alone, so great that all of Soul Society could feel it as he executed the Hollow who had taken his most precious person from him.
People were apologizing to him all the time…for not coming sooner, for having done nothing, for not realizing that a strong Hollow could have broken into the household. Byakuya listened to them all and heard nothing. They despaired. It was that same old look on his face from before he had married his late wife.
For Byakuya had closed himself off to the world…again.
Many years down the road, with Hisana's wounds still fresh, he met Rukia. And he asked for her to be adopted into their family before realizing that he had made a grave mistake. Byakuya didn't often make mistakes, but of the few he ever had, none of them were so great as this – slain by his own nostalgic desire and slight hope that maybe, just maybe, Rukia could turn out to resemble even the slightest fraction of the woman whom he just could not forget.
From the start, it was clear that it was not meant to be; Kuchiki Rukia obeyed him as everyone did: with a bow and cower at his gaze. Hisana would not have done so. She would have looked up, smiled, grabbed hold of his arm, would have reassured his heart into believing that everything was all right.
He couldn't stop thinking of his late wife, all during his battle with Kurosaki Ichigo.
His "sister" was supposed to have been executed, but she had been saved by all the people who loved her, and…
Kurosaki Ichigo just wouldn't shut up. "…saigo ni…mou ikkai dake kiite ii ka? Anta wa…doushite Rukia o tasukeneen da?"(1)
And even though Byakuya replied with what he said, even after he was defeated, that answer was far from the truth.
The truth was that Kuchiki Rukia would never, ever be Kuchiki Hisana.
She could never replace the only woman he had ever loved.
And Byakuya understood that.
He gave up on Rukia because he understood Kurosaki Ichigo's feelings of wanting to save the person who means everything to you. He understood that he had been defeated, and the noble thing to do would have been to let Kurosaki Ichigo have his way, and for Kuchiki Rukia to live.
Byakuya didn't have to let it be that way. Even without his zanpakutou, he could have done something.
But Hisana had always believed kindness about him, and for once…for once, just once, Byakuya wanted to merit that perfection he could still remember so well in her eyes.
owari
(1)From chapter 166. Rough readable English translation would go: "For the last time, can I ask you this? Why won't you save Rukia?" (other translators, like manga-rain, etc., might translate it differently)