Pyromania

Cameron sat at her desk in the dining alcove of her apartment and chewed on the eraser of her pencil. The grid sat before her and she had written things in the squares and then erased them again. "This sucks." It was Thursday and she was waiting for Foreman and Chase to show up with dinner. "Maybe Monday and Wednesday." She marked it out and looked at it again. "Crap!" She threw the pencil across the desk and it hit the wall making a small mark.

The doorbell rang so she got up, happy to be diverted from her task for just a moment. It was Foreman with the pizza. "Good, I'm glad you're here. I'm ready to give up on this thing."

He put the box on the pass-through counter in her kitchen. "I don't even know why you're doing this. I don't know why you didn't just move in with him." He opened the fridge and grabbed a beer.

"Because I need my space. And I need my time with you guys. You know what the problem is? Hand me one of those." She indicated a bottle of water. He handed it to her.

"Yeah, the problem is that you date your boss and you work with your friends." He sat on the sofa and turned on Wheel of Fortune.

"That's not a problem. That's a bonus. The problem is Thursday." She sat next to him and put her feet up on the coffee table.

"Thursday? I thought the problem was Sunday." He popped the top of his can and slurped the foam.

"I think I've worked out Sunday. No, it's Thursday." She got up and went into the alcove, "Let me show you." She brought back the grid. "I get Monday alone. Tuesday I have dinner with him and go home early. Wednesday, that's reserved for seminars, meetings, you know, the crap that comes up in the middle of the week. Friday, I'm with you guys for drinks. Saturday is date-night, with sleep-over and then Sunday morning into the afternoon with him. Sunday night, I'm home. I figure I can do laundry on Saturday morning or Sunday night. Cleaning, well, I do that as I go. Girl stuff, some of that I can do Thursday, but here's the problem. I feel like I shouldn't go more than two days without spending time with him, but that means that either I give up Thursdays…" She looked at him as he studied the chart.

"Or he comes over here on Thursday." Foreman completed her sentence.

"I know that Thursday has historically been our night to just hang out and veg. Would it really complicate things so much if he joined us?"

Foreman smiled, "I can't believe that you are agonizing over this."

"I am! This is hard work. I don't want to be one of those females that sucks her friends dry when she's single and then forgets to call or hang out once she gets a boyfriend. That's just tacky." She got up to answer the door. "You know Chase will kick."

"What'll I kick about?" He came in with a six-pack of Becks and a pink bakery box.

Foreman called to him in the kitchen, "She wants House to join us for Thursday Pizza and Crap TV night."

"I knew it. Can't you just give him Wednesday?" He sat in the arm chair and pouted.

"Wednesday is seminar and meeting day." She explained.

"But those are over by eight or so. Go over to his place afterwards." He suggested.

"There's not much left of the evening after that." She said, as if explaining something to a very slow child.

"So stay over, rock his world. I see enough of him at work." He whined.

"We're not there yet. God, if we ever do get to that point I won't have a spare minute to call my own." She mused.

"Right, then you'll move in with him and this whole conversation will be academic. Oh, don't forget about Wilson." Foreman reminded her.

"Crap! You mean we might have to do this at his house? I'm getting new friends." Chase pronounced.

"You know Chase; you could reach a rapprochement with him. Let bygones be bygones." Foreman said.

"Wait, back up. Wilson? What about him?" Cameron stopped erasing.

"It wouldn't seem right, inviting House and not Wilson. I'm getting a slice." He got up and opened the box.

"Wilson would be okay." Chase agreed, pulling a piece from the other side of the pie.

"So you're saying invite Wilson but not House?" Cameron's pencil was poised over the page.

"I admit it; there's a fundamental flaw in that arrangement." Chase agreed, "I realize that House is inevitability, I'm just fighting it tooth and nail."

"Okay, so not only are we adding House to Thursday Pizza and Crap TV night, but we're also adding Wilson. I can live with that." She smiled as she noted the chart. "There!"

"Look on the bright side Chase, they can bring the pizza." Foreman comforted him.

"Some consolation; House probably likes anchovies." Chase moped.

xxxxx

House humored her and looked at the chart. "How long did this take you?"

"You don't want to know. So Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and part of Sunday. What do you think?" She waited for his feedback. She was prepared for teasing.

"It would be a lot easier if you lived with me."

"That goes without saying, but that's not the arrangement. Not yet. So putting that aside…how does this arrangement look?"

"According to this I'm going to be spending Thursday with you and the children." He squinted to read the small print under Thursday.

"And Wilson," she added.

"And Wilson. You've thought of everything." He handed the chart back to her.

"I try to be thorough." She stepped back and locked his office door. "Now for your reward."

"Reward? This should be good. Why do I get a reward?" He watched her as she closed the blinds.

"Because you're going to work and play well with others. You've been nagging me to see him since I got him." She took off her jacket, revealing a tank-top made of a thin microfiber, trimmed in lace. It didn't leave much to the imagination. She moved closer to him and lifted up her skirt.

He gulped as she raised the hem above her lace topped stockings. "You are playing with fire." He warned.

"I'm a pyromaniac. Now pay attention." The skirt cleared her cheeks and because she wore a thong, revealed the koala. It was more intricate that he had anticipated. He clung to a eucalyptus tree and the fur was heavily detailed. "So? What do you think?"

He had no words. Yes, the koala was cute, but it was nothing compared to the splendor of her bare skin. He reached over to touch her. Tracing his finger along the ink on her body.

"House? Greg?" She turned to find him mesmerized. "Okay, that's enough." She slid her skirt back down.

He stared up at her with lust in his eyes. "Wow. This was unexpected." He grabbed her and slung her over his lap. "I wasn't finished." He lifted her skirt while she squirmed.

"Let me up." She hung onto his desk for balance.

"In a minute. I warned you." He let his large hands travel across her soft skin, down to the top of her stockings. "I'm thorough too."

"Is this it? Is this how you want it to be? A stolen moment in your office? Because if you keep it up, that's how it's going to happen." She twisted around to look into his eyes.

He stopped momentarily; but still refused to let her up, "Let me think about that. It could be hot, we might get caught. Are you an exhibitionist?" He resumed stroking her.

"No. Are you?" She regretted that she had no leverage; she was trapped on his lap until he chose to release her.

"Could be." He slid his hand down her leg to her ankle, "This is very nice."

There was a tap on the door. "Dr. House?" It was Foreman.

"Go away!" House called.

The shadow on the other side of the door paused, and then walked away.

"Damn. Let me up. Do you want me to scream?" She wriggled, trying to get him to loosen his grip on her.

"Yes." He said simply. House's pager bleated. He ignored it. Cameron's pager vibrated, "That could be intriguing."

"Come on. Something's going on. We're needed." It was clear he needed more of an inducement. "I'll show you the coyote."

"Coyote?" He released his grip and she took advantage of his distraction to extricate herself. "Where's the coyote?"

"Probably still chasing that damn roadrunner. With all the money he spends with that crappy Acme company, you think he'd just go buy some groceries." She smoothed her suit and fluffed her hair.

"You tricked me." He said ruefully.

Cameron's face was flushed and her lips were red, perhaps where she had been biting them. "Yes." She reached for her Blackberry and read the message. "Mine's nothing, what about yours."

He was still a bit dazed. He checked his message, "The same. And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those meddling kids."

"I'm going to the lab." She backed away from him.

"You don't have to do that. Now that you're on your feet, you have the advantage."

"I don't trust you enough to turn my back on you." She fumbled behind her with the lock on the door.

"You're being ridiculous." His intense gaze disquieted her.

"I'm not. You're dangerous. Like putting out a fire with gasoline." She slid through the still closed blinds and made her escape.

Foreman waited for her at the end of the hall. "You know, people are going to talk."

She flipped her hair and kept on walking, "You mean you're going to talk."

"Well yes. So how was it? You remembered to use protection, right?" He teased as she walked away from him.

xxxx

Wilson opened the door around the swinging blades of the blinds. "You want me to open these?"

"You might as well." He continued to surf the Internet.

"So what was with the locked door and the blinds?"

"The door wasn't locked." House stated.

"Yes it was. Foreman said so. Afternoon delight?" He sat in the guest chair and watched as House ignored him. "I'm not going away."

"I noticed. I'm not answering." He clicked on an Adobe document and waited for it to pop up.

"So you want to come have a drink with me tonight?" He changed the subject, having been warned off sacred ground.

"Let me check the schedule." He pulled out Cameron's grid and tried to make it out. "See if you can figure this out." He tossed it over to him.

Wilson picked it up and chuckled, "She's made out a schedule?"

"Thank you Captain Obvious. Yes. It's like a custody agreement. I get her a few days a week, the boys get her a few days a week and somewhere in there she goes to an ashram and meditates. What is wrong with women today? It used to be you'd invite them to live with you and they'd bring their cat, their macramé and their favorite spider plant and set up housekeeping. Now there are boundaries and limits and alone time." He tried to look impatient but he couldn't hide his amusement.

"You're complaining about alone time? You just want hot and cold running booty. Now you've got to actually put some thought into it. I think she's outsmarted you here. In consulting the schedule, you are indeed free for a drink tonight. If it makes you feel better, I know where they're going and we can accidentally-on-purpose run into them." Wilson thumb tacked the paper on the cork board by House's desk.

"Great. And then you can be the wing-man while I make my move? Christ I feel like it's 1980 all over again." He threw a koosh ball up in the air.

"That's a good thing. She's making you feel young. That's how you should feel. Seen the koala yet?" Wilson teased.

"Funny you should ask." House responded, "I have just recently been granted a viewing of the koala. Damn fine piece there." Up went the koosh ball.

"The tattoo is amazingly well done. The detail on the face is great." Wilson agreed.

"I forgot to look at the koala." House admitted.