Just another little sap-fest because I love this couple waaaaay too much. And this little scenario had been bugging me for a while.

Ichigo refers to Urahara as "geta-boshi," which literally refers to his geta (the wooden slippers) and his boshi (his hat). Rukia calls Byakuya "nii-sama," or older brother.

reiatsu – "spiritual pressure"

Review if you like. No flames, please.

AI NO KANSHOKU
Ichigo x Rukia

"…long time no see…Ichigo."

By way of her superbly honed senses, she knew he was in the room long before he said anything or made a sound to indicate his presence there. Just the sheer aura of him alone was enough…tangling with her own in the small space of the room, waving across empty space, invisible, but tangible all the same.

Sitting in front of the mirror, not even the silver glint of reflection allowed her to see his face, standing behind her. Her eyes drifted down.

"Hmph. Yeah, Rukia, nice to see you too."

A warm swell stole through her body at his voice; it was deeper than she remembered it and no longer brought with it the images of a pre-adolescent teenage boy. She could not imagine him now, his reflection.

"That's Lady Kuchiki-taichou to you, Ichigo." Rukia smirked a little, and the slight, pushing surge of his aura then indicated that he was amused.

"Yeah, so I heard," he said. "Captain of the third division, huh?"

She shrugged lightly. "Byakuya-nii-sama supported my trial for the position, and the word of a Kuchiki noble is always considered valuable input. Most likely, it was only because of him that I got the position."

"Renji seemed to think so otherwise." Rukia heard his breath exhale as he smirked. "Having Hisana'ssoul made you already more of a useful asset…besides having an influential older brother and belonging to the Kuchiki house."

"Are you arguing on my behalf that I actually earned the position?" she asked him with a sly smile, turning her head just a fraction in his direction.

"Maybe I am."

"Maybe," she acknowledged soberly, turning her head back. In all truth, she had expected him to say something snobbish. "But I didn't have to take the position."

"But you did."

"I did. And you, idiot, you know you have Kaien's soul. You could have acted on it like I did, but you did nothing."

Rukia felt him shrug. "The only good reason for being unbelievably powerful is having something to protect that's worth protecting."

"And all of the afterlife wasn't enough for you? You turned down the fifth-division position so long ago already."

"Back then…" he paused. "Back then, I didn't want to stay here."

"But? You've come for a friendly visit?"

"Of sorts."

"Ichigo, really, what did you come here for?" She delicately turned around on her knees then, her white captain's robe splayed around her form in a wave of white. Looking up at him, standing in the doorway with the light behind, his face was in gray shadow – but that could not change that fact that he looked almost exactly the same as when she had left, back from those years ago. Rukia had thought he'd change, but he hadn't. Not much.

He regarded her, smiling. "You look different."

"I…I chose to grow up."

"I didn't know you could choose."

"People in Soul Society age more slowly, but shinigami with extensive control of their reiatsu can control their body's time. Whether they want to grow up faster or stay young is entirely their decision."

"And you chose to grow up, huh?"

"Just a few years…"

"Your hair's longer," he said, still smiling that sort of half-smile at her that was faintly reminiscent. "And, you look…I don't know. Older somehow."

"That would be obvious, you think?" She didn't mention that the only reason she had let herself age a few years in appearance was so that she would appear the same age as him. "Just because I was over a hundred when I looked fourteen didn't mean I had to stay that way forever. Besides, this way, more people take me seriously."

"…I don't know, you just don't look as…frail…as I remember. Even being a hundred or two hundred or whatever."

"Frail?" she repeated, arching a thin eyebrow at him.

"That's not what I meant, I mean…needing protecting."

She shrugged. "I was weak then."

"We all were."

"No, you weren't. You were the strongest."

"I wasn't talking about that."

She just couldn't look at his eyes then, so she settled for looking at the short expanse of polished wood floorboard between Ichigo and herself. He was dressed as a shinigami, she noticed.

"…Ichigo…I…I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For…that day."

"What was there to be sorry for? It happened. It was your and my choice. You don't have to apologize for something that we both chose for ourselves," Ichigo said, but his voice had a sharper edge now than before.

"Yes, but…"

"But what?"

"I…I hurt you when I left…I…that's not how I wanted to end it, how I had wanted to tell you," she said quietly. "Our lives took different paths, but the separation was harder than I had wanted it to be."

He said nothing.

Her mind drifted back to several years ago…

"Why? Why do you have to go, Rukia? Can't you stay on Earth?"

"Ichigo, you don't get it. I can't stay here on Earth because, technically, I no longer exist," she said, her eyes pleading with him, though he did not seem to be affected by them as he usually was. "I can't stay in a gigai all my life, and I don't have a real human body like you do."

"So what about geta-boshi?" he asked, thrusting his face closer to hers. "Why can he stay on Earth when you can't?"

"Urahara's a human. He chose 100 percent integration with his gigai, the special type that only he knows how to make. But because of that, he won't ever be able to go back to Soul Society! I can't become a human, Ichigo…I'm a shinigami!"

"So what if you're a shinigami? No one over there cares about you! Your human life is more real than anything else you've ever lived! Why do you want to go back when you know that all there is left for you is unhappiness?"

"You don't know that, Ichigo."

"I do know it! So what if you've got Hisana's power? So what if Byakuya suddenly acknowledges you? So what if there are captain positions open? Rukia, can't you give it up and stay?"

Ichigo exhaled, and in that trembling breath the sudden truth was more real than words, raw and painful, cut to the bone in his sincerity. That was how Rukia knew the complete sentence; the one that Ichigo could not bring himself to say.

Rukia, he'd said, can't you give it up and stay…with me?

Her eyes misted, but she controlled her emotions and fought them back.

"…Ichigo…" she tried again, "…Ichigo, please try to understand. I…this is not my place. I can't stay here…my place is being a shinigami, like always. Can't you see our worlds are already too different?"

"So what? Why can't you stay, Rukia? What is so horrible about human life that you can't stay? Why do you have to go back?"

"Why can't you come to Soul Society for good, then? They're offering you the captaincy of the fifth division without even taking the captain's trial! Why not take that offer and come to Soul Society?"

"Don't be stupid! I can't leave my dad and my sisters!"

"They can survive without you!"

"That's not the point! I don't want to go to Soul Society, Rukia; it's not where I belong!"

"See, Ichigo? You've said it yourself. It's not where you belong…and Earth is not where I belong."

"…Rukia…" he said softly, and cut off any other words he might have said. Ichigo walked over to his bed and sat on it, eyes to the floor, lacing his fingers together with elbows braced on his knees.

He suddenly seemed so much younger than when he'd rescued her, a knight stripped of his armor, standing in front of her, so bare to her eyes. Most of his anger had dissipated, leaving just this battle-weary core behind. "Why are you going? I just don't understand. Human life is better for you…I know…I saw you in Soul Society, and no one respected you there…" he paused. "And us…everything was nothing to you, then? This entire time, you weren't thinking about staying, you were thinking about Soul Society…?"

He was wrong. So, so wrong. But if that proved the cut to sever them, then she'd let him believe it. Rukia's eyes drifted to his closet, where she'd stayed for so long…and if she concentrated, she could still feel the strength of his arms around her and the heat of his mouth connecting with hers. It was enough. It had to be enough.

"Rukia…why can't you stay?"

Ichigo's voice was so soft that the mist returned to her eyes again, no matter how much she tried to keep it back. That question went straight to her heart.

"Ichigo, I…I – I don't know anything about human life…and I've lived in Soul Society for so longer already. It's my home. There, I know what to do. Here, I…" she trailed off, but wondered why she suddenly saw all his back muscles tense.

"…you're scared."

She flinched at the cutting tone, but remained silent. He was, more or less, correct.

"I can't fucking believe it, Rukia. You're running to Soul Society because you're scared of becoming human." He was silent for a while, then stood up and kicked his bedpost with a sound of rage. It must have hurt terribly, but he said nothing about it. "I can't believe you, Rukia! After everything that's happened to you, everything I've ever done for you, you're scared of staying here and being human!" He started to laugh, but it was not a pleasant laugh; and indeed, it sent chills down her spine.

"Ichigo, to stay here and be human…that would…it would change everything! Even if I did integrate with my gigai to become human, my soul is already of the deceased…meaning that like Urahara, I'd never age. But you, Ichigo…you would. You would age, live your life out before my eyes, and then you'd die and I'd never see you again." She blinked, but it was too late; tears fell. "Ichigo, please…can't you come to Soul Society? Forever?"

He hesitated to answer, and on his face, she saw the same emotion that must have been on hers.

And suddenly she understood.

"…Ichigo…never mind…Soul Society to you is what Earth is to me, huh?" she asked, a sad smile pulling the corner of her lip.

"Rukia…"

"No, don't say anything!" she said, her voice cracking. "We've already decided, haven't we? We should just leave it at that. That way we won't fight."

"Rukia, listen–"

No, she couldn't listen to him; if she did, she would totally lose it, and she would never be able to look him in the eye again. She belonged in Soul Society. She did. She was never human to begin with.

And if she stayed human, that meant leaving everything forever…

"Rukia, wait, listen!"

"Renji is coming to get me in an hour," she said, hearing his shocked intake of breath. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Ichigo, but I'm going…I'm sorry."

"Rukia…"

Her eyes were hidden, but the tears could not be. Dashing over to him in two strides, she reached up, placing a quick, desperate kiss against his lips, before she jumped out of the window and away from his life.

"How long has it been, really?" she asked, again in reality, but subdued by memories.

"Almost three years."

"That long?" She looked up at him.

"Yeah."

"…so…why are you here?"

"I asked Renji to let me come back for a visit."

"You were still exterminating Hollows, weren't you?"

"Only if I felt like it."

"Your reiatsu is stronger."

"Yours too."

Silence settled. Rukia smiled a little sadly.

"So you really expect me to believe that you've just come for a visit, and the most you're going to do is chat me up with talk of old memories? Please, Ichigo, I know you better than that. What are you really here for?"

The silence steepened.

"…Rukia…"

She stood up quietly, and looked up to him. Absentmindedly, her hand came up to gently brush back a few strands of her ebony hair, now extending to well below her shoulders. In the darkness, it was a while before she realized that Ichigo was doing it for her.

"You know…all those years ago…neither of us wanted to give in. I didn't want to come here; you didn't want to stay…" He let out a rueful breath. "At the time, I think, I was only considering myself, and wasn't thinking of you at all. But…"

Her eyes were soft. "…but…?"

"But…I missed you. And I had a lot of time to think while you were gone," he said. "You never came to visit."

I wanted to, Rukia wanted to say, so many times, I wanted to…but I thought you would be so angry at me, and refuse to talk to me…I could take leaving, but rejection would've hurt so much worse.

"But I thought it was better that way. If I saw you, I would've been angry at the thought that you didn't trust me enough to stay human…and I would've been angry at myself, for thinking that I didn't have enough courage to change the course of my life."

"…"

"But you know, I'm – you still remember school, right?"

"Yes."

"I'm 18 now, and I'm going to graduate from high school soon. I've already been accepted to college. They're all good schools, and I was even thinking of going into medicine like my dad…"

"I'm glad for you."

"Yeah. But, you know, I was talking to Inoue the other day…she's been going out with Ishida for, what, two years now? And I was talking to her because she and Ishida are going to move to America."

"America?"

"It's another country across the ocean. He applied and was accepted to Yale, this obscenely expensive and prestigious school, 'cause he wants to study law. Can you imagine that jackass Ishida, a lawyer?" He snorted at some thought, but she didn't understand anything of what he was saying.

"Well, I'm glad for Inoue-san and Ishida-san."

"I was just talking to her, and she brought up the thought of the future. We didn't get really into the topic, but she just got me thinking." His eyes drew into shadow. "What was really in my future? What was there for me? After all I'd gone through earlier in my youth, I was just going to live the normal life?

"I was surprised that Ishida and Inoue got so serious about their relationship that she'd actually move to America with him. But because she really loves him, she's going. That was sort of inspiring, I guess. And it got me thinking. So…I spent a month wondering what the hell I was going to do with myself."

"…"

"…Soul Society allows me to move back and forth, maybe because since I was offered the captain position, they think I'm strong enough to break in if I wanted to, anyway. But because of that, I found Renji and he got me in here…and I found you."

Silence descended.

"…Ichigo?"

"Rukia, the whole point of this is that I've decided to stay."

"Stay?"

"In Soul Society."

Her heart leapt so fast, it might have flown out of her mouth.

"I – Ichigo?"

"I'm not joking. I'm stronger now, Rukia. I can leave my human life behind."

"But Ichigo…what about your life there? Your family?"

"Well, I figure that since I'll probably become a shinigami, I'll see them from time to time, anyway."

"But, Ichigo…" Her happiness at his words was quickly being replaced by apprehension. "Your life won't be the same! How can you give up your human life when everything you know will change for you? How can–"

Ichigo let her get no further than that, and kissed her. His lips pressed against hers as he continued to kiss her, hard, in a kiss just as suffocating as it was sudden, just to shut her up. Rukia could not fight back against him…had never been able to when they were like this.

They broke apart. "I also thought about staying," Ichigo said quietly, after calming his breathing, "because…"

She saw the words on his lips before he said them, thought actually hearing them satisfied the part of her heart that she had never managed to subdue.

I also thought about staying because I missed you. Too much. Rukia, over all these years…you're the only girl that I've ever loved. And I saw Ishida moving to America and what Inoue's doing to be with him…so, I guess, that was kind of an epiphany.

He pulled her closer.

I want to protect you, Rukia. I want to be there for you. I didn't do that, three years ago, even though I've always had the chance to.

Rukia couldn't believe it.

"Ichigo, I…"

"…are you against this, Rukia?"

"…of course I want it, you idiot," she said, and her voice was going all trembly again. She grabbed a fistful of his robe and suddenly became aware of how small she still was, even grown, deep in the embrace of his arms. "Ichigo, it's…it's all I've ever wanted. How can you even think that I wouldn't want you…?" she finished in a whisper.

"Time passes…feelings change."

"Mine don't," Rukia said fiercely.

"So I heard."

Raising her head to his, she met his eyes with a slight spark of challenge. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means Renji and I talk about a lot of things."

She smiled at the thought.

"But Ichigo, if you're going to…going to…stay in Soul Society…then what's going to happen to your real body?"

"Geta-boshi is going to destroy it and take care of Kon."

"And what about your family?"

"I told them everything. They knew they couldn't change my mind, anyway. And you can't change my mind either, so don't even bother trying."

Everything that she'd ever dreamed was coming true. It had pained her that, as a captain, she no longer had the liberty of going to Earth whenever she pleased, watching Ichigo from afar like she used to. Duties were duties, and she could not divert from hers.

"Ichigo…"

"You see? In the end, it's all your fault I decided to stay," Ichigo grumbled good-naturedly, setting his forehead to hers. Rukia could think of no reply to that except to tighten her arms around him. He was real and alive, and truly there with her again.

They stood there in the darkness for a while, before Rukia broke away. "Well then, Kurosaki Ichigo-san, you should really check with the academy board for a post under a captain. Who knows, it might even be me. Although maybe not," she added with a sudden smile, "because they might not see that as particularly productive move."

"Under you? And have your red-haired bastard of a vice-captain boss me around? Yeah, right…I don't think so, Kuchiki-taichou."

"It's Lady Kuchiki-taichou, stupid; people will think you're referring to nii-sama."

"I'm not stupid, you are," he grumbled, just like a little boy.

Their conversation was not particularly deep or thorough, after the previous things that had been said and done, but that was to be expected. Ichigo had to catch up. So many things had gone on in his absence…things she had to tell him about his new home.

But they had forever, and now, that was enough.

"You know, Ichigo…"

"Stop doubting this already. Jeez, if you keep looking at me with that look on your face, I'm gonna get mad."

She should have grown indignant at that, but she didn't.

"Ichigo–"

Again, he cut her off with a kiss. His heated breath was against her lips, his hard, muscled body against her soft skin, rough eyes at her own, hers a shade of violet made gentle by too many years of sorrow…Ichigo kissed her, and it was as if the years had never passed.

It was like nothing ever changed.

Not the physicality of their bodies, not the maturity of their minds, nor the fidelity of their beliefs.

It was as if it was the same.

And, as Ichigo's breath washed over her nose, she smiled. And she felt like laughing, so existing was the joy in her heart. It was a feeling that had not overcome her for such a long time. So she did laugh, and relished in it.

"Rukia?"

"No, no…it's nothing."

She'd never let him go again.

owari