Four Brothers-in-law Named Bubba

It seemed that he had just closed his eyes when Allison came in to wake him. "What time is it?" He asked.

"Nearly five." She answered, sitting next to him on the bed, "Are you very tired?"

He shook his head to clear it. "I didn't think that I was, but I guess I was wrong. Must be this mountain air."

"We'll try to cut out early tonight. Meemaw will understand." She touched his face.

"I'm fine. Do I need to change?" He was wearing jeans, a Rolling Stones T-shirt and a blue button-down shirt.

"Nope, you look fine. Better than fine." She stood up. "Okay, let's do this!"

They weren't very far away, although if anyone had to be given directions to the place they would have been, Call me from the filling station on the main road and I'll come get you.

There were at least a dozen vehicles parked haphazardly on the gravel drive leading up to the front door. Allison's excitement had her on edge. How long had it been since they had all been together? A little white haired woman in a blue dress stood on the porch and called, "It's them!"

For nearly five minutes House stood back and watched as everyone hugged and kissed and exclaimed. Allison was swallowed up. It seemed that she was starved for their affection and they were only too willing to fill her up. Her cheeks were damp with tears. As they finally all made their way back into the house, she came over to him. He took out his hankie and gently dabbed at her face. "You've got something on you." He said.

"I just love them all so much." She explained.

"You don't have to say anything." He pocketed his hankie and took her hand, "So introduce me to the hoards."

When they got back in the house people had divided up into groups. Kids were in the living room reciting Bible verses for two elderly ladies in easy chairs. Presumably the sum of what they had learned in Vacation Bible School.

A boy of about seven said, "For even the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many."

A very small girl of about five lisped, "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

"And thou shalt have joy and gladness; and many shall rejoice at his birth." A boy about Simon's age said. "I did that one because it was short." He clarified.

Alana, who was holding one lady's hand said in a very sweet and clear voice, "Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God."

Simon took umbrage, "You're just showing off, you didn't even go to Vacation Bible School this year. You went to cheer camp." He mimicked one of her jumps.

"Go ahead; tell Cookie and Granny which one you did." She turned away to tell them sotto voce, "It doesn't even make sense."

Simon cleared his throat theatrically and in an overly enunciated baritone voice quoted, "And he left them, and went out of the city into Bethany; and he lodged there." Just as he expected he was met with blank expressions. "Think about it." He emphasized his point by raising his eyebrows.

There was silence in the room. Suddenly House got it and he had to stifle his laugh.

Simon looked at him, a warning in his eyes. House straightened up, "I'm not messing with you. You play dirty."

Allison smiled and led him into the kitchen, "What was that all about?"

"It's from The Simpsons." House explained, "But don't tell him where you got it. I really do fear him. He killed my donkey."

In the kitchen they were knocked out by the smells of cooking. A giant ham rested under an aluminum foil tent. A sideboard groaned under the weight of bowls filled with everything from ambrosia to zucchini. Sheets and sheets of biscuits stayed warm on the still hot stovetop.

House wandered into the family room, intrigued by the wall of photos. A very large color picture of three teenaged girls, presumably Abby, Amy and Annie dominated a corner by the fireplace. They wore blue and white cheerleader outfits and struck characteristic poses. There was a fourth person in the picture, someone much younger, about three-years old. She also had a cheerleader outfit on and she too, stood in a pose. Her left hand straight up in the air, firmly grasping a pom-pom. Her right hand akimbo on her waist. Her chubby legs, slightly apart, as though she could go down in the splits at any time. He got right up on top of it, to make sure that it was, in fact, what it appeared to be.

"Isn't she adorable there? She went to every one of the games. All the girls on the squad loved her." House peered down at Meemaw, who was pointing at a very young Allison.

"Yes m'am. But I think she's adorable all the time." He extended his hand to her, "I'm Greg."

"Oh, put that away," She playfully pushed his hand aside and swept him up in a hug. Her head came to the bottom of his chest. "You're family now. You just call me Meemaw."

He hugged back tentatively but got the impression that she wasn't going to let go until he squeezed her back hard. "It's very nice to meet you; I've heard so many wonderful things about you from Allison." He said, trying to remember how to speak nicely to people's grandmothers.

We're very glad to have you here with us. So are you taking good care of our girl?" She had looped her arm in his and persisted in patting his hand.

"Uh." He didn't know how to answer the question; he had the apprehension that there was no way to live up to the standards of this family. Unless Allison was on a pedestal, with rose petals under her feet and minions attending to her every need, that he was just a pretender.

"Of course you are. Anyone can see that. Look how happy she is. She'll make a beautiful bride." She lowered her voice, "Again. That first one, that was so sad. But that was a long time ago. Come over here and meet my friends." She steered him into the living room. "Cookie, this is Greg House, Allison's fiancé." She turned to House, "You just bend down and give her a little kiss."

House did as he was told. Cookie smiled at him and nodded.

Granny stood up and hugged him, just as Meemaw had. "It's so nice to meet you. Allison says that you are one of the smartest people she's ever met."

"Oh, now…" He stammered.

"Now Cookie and Granny and I were all at school together. Both high school and the normal school. We've known each other a good long time." The ladies all smiled. "Oh, but here's Allison. Hi baby, come give Meemaw some sugar."

Allison obediently kissed her grandmother and gave her a squeeze. Then she kissed her other grandmother. Then she kissed Cookie. "Mommy and Daddy are stuck in traffic; they're still about forty minutes away. Abby and I thought we could make tomato sandwiches, what do you think?"

"Of course Baby, there are plenty of biscuits and Cookie sliced up all kinds of tomatoes. Make a plate and offer them around, I'm sure some of those children are hungry." Allison skipped off to make herself useful.

"Now Greg, Allison tells us that you play the piano. I had Mr. Bryant over to tune our piano not too long ago; would you play us a few tunes after dinner?" She walked him back towards the kitchen, rightly surmising that he'd be more comfortable closer to Allison.

"Sure." He watched as Allison buttered warm biscuits. She looked so natural standing with her sisters in a little assembly line at the counter.

Allison continued spreading the butter as she spoke to House, "Greg, why don't you go out onto the back porch with the guys. There's a cooler of beer out there."

He came close to her to buss her cheek, "Thank God, I think I'm getting diabetes."

"Be nice." She said, gesturing with the knife.

The girls were on the lawn practicing different cheers. Each taking turns showing the others what they did at their school. Simon hung out close to Ben. House came out onto the porch though the creaking screen door. Ben reached down into the cooler for a can for him. "Bud okay Bubba?" He threw it to him.

"Perfect. Who's Bubba?" House sank down into a chair.

"We're all Bubba. I'm Bubba Ben. That's Bubba Scott, Bubba Dave. You can't cuss around him, he's a minister."

"You can cuss; I'll just have to pray extra hard for you Bubba Greg." He took a sip of beer from his can.

"I see my reputation has preceded me." He sat back and watched lightening bugs twinkle in the dusk.

Ready, okay! Echoed from the yard and a large calico cat poked her head out from under one of the chairs at the distant end of the porch.

Scott nudged Simon, "Hey, there's your cousin Puddin'. Why don't you see if she's in the mood to say hey."

Simon smirked, "That cat's mean. You go pet her. I'm going to get a Coke." He got to his feet as his father caught his attention.

"Simon, no more pop. You can have water or milk."

"Aw! Everybody else gets to have one." Simon complained. Ben gave him a look. Simon complied, "Yes sir."

Abby came onto the porch with the tomato sandwiches. The men reached for them greedily. Dave took a bite and savored it. "Oh man, that is the best tomato I've ever eaten."

"You say that every year." Abby observed.

"They just keep getting better and better." He took another bite.

House usually eschewed vegetables, but he could actually smell the tomato. He didn't know that they had a smell. He bit into the sandwich and his taste buds were mugged with different flavors. The saltiness of the biscuit, the cream of the butter, the fresh tomato, it melted in his mouth. "Mmmm."

Scott laughed, "The Yankee gets it."

Dave slugged him, "I thought that we weren't going to bring that up."

"Oh, right. Sorry." He apologized. "So Greg, Allison tells us that you're a brilliant doctor."

House smiled, "It's a living. So what do you do?"

"As we said, Dave's a brilliant minister, Ben is a brilliant Sales Director and I'm a brilliant lawyer."

"Ah. I see that I'm in good company then." He finished his biscuit and wondered if it would be rude to lick his fingers. He turned to Dave, the father of the bride. "And the groom? What's he brilliant at?"

"Michael. He's a brilliant…seeker. He's still in school, but he's a nice kid and I'm sure he'll do well…at whatever he decides to do." Dave shrugged.

The crickets started to chirp and they heard a car door slam. "Well, they're here." Ben helped House to his feet, "Bubba let's get 'er done. It's time to meet the Colonel."