Author: J.J.
Warning: It's an AU. It contains some Japanese words (the Dictionary is at the bottom), not too descriptive rape and probably some OOC...
To the 2, 3 people who are reading this fic and want more... work keeps me quite busy. I almost never know if I've time to write or when I've time to write. Please be patient. I've almost everything planned out. I just need time to write it.
Extra Warning for this chapter: This chapter is placed in Kamakura, in the Kurosaki house and, due to this, you get to see Hisoka's 'lovely' family and the two local monsters... You also get to know Tsuzuki's Shiki Touda better. This chapter also contains tiny references to other anime series. You'll find more explanations about them in my notes and it's NOT needed to know them to understand the fic.
Notes: I've been inspired by what Hisoka thought in Vol. 3: 'No one... saved me... But maybe Tsuzuki... If you had been there... you would save me...'.
Warning over notes: This fic is filled with notes. You will find them at the bottom. Each time you see a number between brackets it means there's a note connected to the word/sentence that preceded it. Many of them explain references to other series, to YnM manga only or YnM anime only facts for who didn't get to read the manga or see the anime, explain apparently illogical things or warn you there's an explanation for illogical facts but that you'll get it later. However I suggest you to read the notes AFTER you finished the fic unless the word/sentence connected to the note is really troublesome for you to understand. Anyway the fic should be still understandable without the notes. Notes are merely extra explanations for who wants to know more or search for spoilers.
Disclaimer:
"Yami no Matsuei" belong to Matsushita Yoko. I'm merely using her characters because I love them... especially Touda, Tsuzuki and Hisoka...
"Ufo Robot Grendaizer" belong to Go Nagai & Dynamic Kikaku/Toei Doga.
"Yoroiden Samurai Trooper" belong to Nippon Sunrise.
"Doraemon" belong to Fujiko Fujio.
"Romeo and Juliet" belong to William Shakespeare.
Ehy, Do I own something here? Oh yes, I own the plot and a sensible heart which would surely break if you give me harsh reviews... so please be honest but nice ok?
Thanks: To Larania Drake for betaing this! Thank you a lot!
Summary: 1993. Kamakura. A certain silver haired psycho was feeding himself with a poor woman's energy when the Kurosaki's heir spotted him. He had a plan for the boy but someone else was there and decided to interfere...
"On a day like today
The whole world could change
The sun's gonna shine
Shine thru the rain
On a day like today
Ya never wanna see the sun go down
Ya never wanna see the sun go down
Somewhere - there's a place for you
I know that you believe it too
Sometimes if you wanna get away
All ya gotta know is what we got is here to stay
All the way."
(Brian Adams - "On A Day Like Today")
There are days in which everything is bounded to go wrong. The present one surely had to be one of them, he decided sighing as he walked for the desert way. It was a weird, deserted, completely silent street, a street he knew he should know and yet he never saw before and the mist wasn't helping to make things better; nor the pale light of the moon. There was something surreal in the place as if the colours were all wrong but he couldn't complain for this because, after all, 'his colours' were wrong as well. Cursed purple eyes. They were going to be his damnation.
Anyways, he wasn't alone out there, he remembered himself as he heard his companion groaning for the nth time and assuring him that a night without dessert couldn't possibly be fatal. Their steps on the ground sounded weird... like they were... echoing? Maybe. Was he lost? Should he be scared? All this had already happened but... when? He couldn't remember, he felt as if walking in the water, in the deep of the ocean. He never liked that feeling. Would he wander forever in the deep of the ocean without at least a last dessert? Death, to him, seemed a better prospective. He heard more groaning from his companion.
"Here, try this," the other man said exasperatedly, handing him a small package of candies, his voice sounding like the only real thing in that surreal place. He greeted this action with a childlike cheer, loud enough to be heard from the other side of Japan, or maybe through the entire ocean, then he opened the package and tried a soft strawberry flavoured candy with an expression of pure bliss.(1)
The taste of the candy seemed to lighten the atmosphere, to make everything concrete, dimming the mist and brightening the light of the moon. His companion was apparently oblivious of how his small gesture had caused the world to turn more real and shook his head, commenting he was hopeless. He replied by offering him a candy. The other had never been particularly interested in candies, and he knew he got them in the first place only to please him but he also knew he would accept the candy because it would make him happy. He wanted the other to have the candy so the world would be real for him, too, so he wouldn't have to wander forever in that weird, silent place alone. Maybe he was just being childish or simply... he didn't want to be left alone.
The other looked at him and then wordlessly picked up the soft object, chewed it a couple of times then swallowed.
"You know, you should try savouring them more, especially considering this will be all we will have for dinner," he said and his voice had the same strange echoing quality of their steps. His companion didn't reply at that but the man seemed to expect this as he went on talking, moving to a whining tone. "And Tatsumi is going to eat us for lunch, for not being back to Tokyo in time."
"Want me to eat him first? That I could do very easily," the other replied and his voice, thank Kami-sama, didn't echo but was real, concrete, something to which he could hold on. He refused the offer as he thought absently he had already heard it some other time, some other place...
Anyway they were going nowhere, the street seemed impossibly long and the view seemed forever frozen in time. Where were the houses? They couldn't have ended in the middle of nowhere... Mn... Maybe they were searching in the wrong direction and yet he hadn't seen a single turn. There was just this straight way, this straight way that seemed to go on forever. He crossed his arms behind his head and stared up at the clear sky as if searching there for an explanation. Ruka would have known were they were going- she would have because... He frowned, knowing there was a reason behind Ruka's knowledge but unable to remember which one. He wanted to see Ruka, he wanted to see her so bad he could almost really see her, walking beside him, smiling at him, forever trapped in a eighteen year old body(2), and yet, as her figure was starting to get more real he turned his head away and squeezed his eyes shut, refusing to see her. He couldn't see her. He opened his eyes as a hand rested on his arm, a solid, real hand that belonged to his companion who was staring at him frowning. He forced up a smile and started talking, the sound of his voice, as echoing as it was, better than that weird silence.
"Did you see it? The moon's red tonight. Isn't it weird?" It was the first topic that came to his mind and yet he knew it should have been important somehow. He just couldn't understand, couldn't remember why. The other shrugged.
"It happens sometime. It's all due to the higher density of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. Of course stupid superstitious old folks often consider it a sign of misfortune but that's their problem," he explained, turning the whole phenomenon more normal, more real. He had this gift to make things more real maybe because he too was real not a shadow like him, condemned to wander in that surreal world forever.
"When the moon is red Vega attacks!" he said with an amused grin as he remembered that old sentence Duke Fleed pronounced, still crystallized in his memory as if he heard it only yesterday. Just an old memory... or wasn't it? Why did everything seem to have a double meaning in that surreal world?
"Spare me from your Anime quotations. Aren't you a little too old to still watch 'Grendaizer'?" his companion replied in annoyance.(3)
"That comes from a 'Samurai Trooper' fan!(4)" he teased. Samurai... why did they come to his mind? Ancient warriors...
"I'm not a fan. It's just there's nothing better to watch at that time," the other replied taking his mind back to the original meaning of the sentence and causing him to snicker at that. The other glared. The discussion could have continued forever when a sound, cutting through the air, caught up their attention. The two tensed as they tried to understand what was going on. He knew that sound, he had heard it so many times...
"Wasn't that a scream?" he asked with worry. The other shrugged disinterested.
"It's far. It doesn't concern us." He wanted to believe that. He wanted to but he... couldn't. Someone was in trouble so it concerned him. Another scream echoed through the air as if calling him- and maybe it was.
"The hell it doesn't! I'm going to check!" he replied heatedly as he started to run toward what looked like the source of the screams, following that weird, unending way and loosing himself in the darkness.
He ran. He ran praying he wasn't too late, he ran praying he wouldn't be late again, he ran praying he was wrong and everything was fine, he ran praying it wouldn't be like that time...
Flashes of things he usually tried so desperately to not remember and yet refused to forget taunted him, everything turning blood red as he followed the screaming. He forced himself to ignore them, to ignore everything, but all became even worse, as he couldn't hear the screaming anymore. Screams meant pain but also life. Silence... silence... it was maddening and he couldn't stand it, he wouldn't stand it and he refused to stand it and... and there was another scream as everything was suddenly dark, so dark, the light of the moon vanishing and there was blood nearby, there had to be blood because he could perceive its scent as it assaulted his nostrils, and it turned its stomach upside down and he froze as memories assaulted him full force again and why was he there alone in the dark?
It didn't matter, he wouldn't allow darkness to swallow him again, he promised he wouldn't allow it again, he remembered himself, frowning as his surrounding slowly turned visible and showed him a blood soaked ground and the decapitated corpse of a woman holding a dead infant, and he knew that woman and yet he didn't, and it didn't matter because it wasn't her, it wasn't her and... and there was a boy also, squirming, fighting under the assault of a man so much older than him and... and the man turned toward him with weird, shining eyes and... and for a moment everything blurred and he wasn't a man anymore but a snake looming over an adult version of the boy, because that man was the boy, wasn't he? He blinked, trying to put everything to a better focus so the snake morphed again in the man who stood, abandoning the sobbing boy, no, wait, it wasn't a boy anymore but... a doll? A naked doll all scribbled in red magic runes? than everything... faded and vanished except the man and him. He stared, he knew the man and yet he never saw him before but hadn't it be the same for everything he saw that night? Knowing and not knowing as if everything was a puzzle, a riddle he was unable to solve. Did he care to solve it? All of sudden he didn't know anymore.
He was alone. He had been left alone with that weird man. No one cared for him. The man walked toward him and he unconsciously walked back, he was afraid, afraid of this man he knew and didn't know, afraid because he knew the man would awake the sleeping... 'creature' inside him and... and he ended against... something solid. He turned and saw a door, an half open door of an house and he would be safe by the man if he entered there but... he froze as he recognized the door, the door he wouldn't open anymore because what was behind it was way more horrible than the man behind him. He turned and was trapped, pinned between the man and the door but he refused this to happen, refused to allow the man to have this control on him as he screamed his denial and, as he did so the man... the man's head rolled on the floor, his body falling as well as, from it, emerged a dragon, that flied straight up in the sky.
He turned and the door now was a mirror, the whole house was all mirror-made and he managed to catch a glimpse of his reflection, but it was younger than he was, the reflection of when he was eighteen and he...
Before he had the time to touch it the mirrors shattered all together, crumbling in a rain of shining, little shards or maybe water drops in between which a woman was screaming and he screamed too as his life shattered as well...
... And he woke up with Touda calling his name and shaking him none too gently.(5) He clung to him, his eyes open wide, breathing hard and trying to not tremble like a leaf, as if Touda was the only thing between him and the abyss of hell and maybe he was.
"I don't want to sleep ever again," he whimpered.
"Idiot. It was just a nightmare. I should have guessed I shouldn't have left you alone, not even for five seconds," Touda replied frowning. He had wrapped an arm around Tsuzuki's back but he was holding him too tightly and in a definitely not comfortable manner. Tsuzuki didn't mind. As long as Touda was with him and he wasn't alone everything else was a meaningless detail. Hesitant fingers brushed his hair away from his face. The fingers were gentle and he liked the gesture more than the squeezing hold. It soothed him and calmed him down.
"Where were you?" he asked.
"Five steps away from you, trying to unroll a Futon. You shouldn't sleep on the floor. I tried to wake you up as soon as you started trashing but you just wouldn't come awake."
"It's okay... Okaasama used to say when a dream is talking to you no one can't wake you up," he mumbled still clutching to Touda. "I only wish I know what to do with those dreams since I can't understand them, not even in the sightlines. It was Ruka the YumeMi of the family, the real dream expert."(6) Touda frowned. He didn't particularly like hearing Tsuzuki talking about his dead sister.
"Tsuzuki. Ignore those stupid dreams. There's nothing you can do about them." Touda knew quite well Tsuzuki could somehow get hints of the future in his dreams. Sometimes it happened to normal people too. The problem with Tsuzuki's dreams was they were hinting at future events almost always, but in such a blurry, confuse way they could be compared to Nostradamus' prophecies so they were able to decipher their meaning only after whatever the dream was talking about had happened. Due to this, Touda judged worrying over them an absolute waste of time. Tsuzuki didn't share his idea. He firmly believed he should be able to understand what his dreams were telling so he could stop whatever incoming mess from happening but, even if he was able to grasp something from them, it rarely was enough to allow him to understand what was going to happen and this made him feel responsible as if he was the one who caused troubles to happen due to the simple fact he dreamt them.
To complicate matters further his dreams always managed to dig up some of his past memories he really wanted to forget and to irrationally scare him more than he was willing to admit.
"I can't sort this out," Tsuzuki admitted, forcing himself to release Touda. "Why all my dreams must be so complicated?"
"You're a complicated person who lives a complicated life," Touda offered. "Now you'll better lie down and return back to sleep. Without dreaming, this time." Tsuzuki's eyes darkened.
"You make it look like as if I have a choice in the matter," he muttered as Touda finished unrolling the Futon.
"Quit the whining and come lie down. I won't let you alone so you shouldn't have problems. You never has nightmares when I'm around, do you?" Tsuzuki shook his head. No, as long as he could cling to Touda, he never had nightmares. It was childish and embarrassing but he really couldn't sleep alone, unless he didn't plan to be constantly awakened by nightmares that would get ever scarier and more confused till they would start to threat his already frail grasp on his sanity.
Touda, different from others, had never minded sharing a bed with him or simply being his pillow when beds weren't available but, even if this helped Tsuzuki to have a full night of sleep, it did nothing to avoid reminding him there was something wrong with him, something not normal, something not even doctors had been able to fix. He was dependent on other people, he couldn't live on his own and he was death scared to be abandoned, to be a burden.
"I'm not really sleepy anymore..." he complained. Lack of sleep didn't really worry him. After all he survived without sleep for two years.(7) He, of course, didn't consider doctors having to sedate him many times and that his sanity was almost gone. Touda however, remembered and didn't plan to run the risk ever again.
"Then you can still lay down and tell me about this stupid nightmare of yours," the man said, refusing to give up. Tsuzuki looked back at him, knowing perfectly well what Touda was planning but knowing also if he was trying to push him to get some sleep he was doing it only because he cared. At least he hoped so. He reluctantly walked toward the Futon, frowning at it.
"You'll better get rid of your jacket," Touda suggested as he moved to help Tsuzuki to remove it the same way he would have done with a child. He also caught the chance to free Tsuzuki of his tie and folded the man's clothes neatly while Tsuzuki finally laid down and stared at the ceiling frowning. Touda laid near to him, arms crossed behind his head and had to wait only a bunch of seconds before Tsuzuki, more out of habit than anything else, curled next to him, wrapping an arm around his waist and resting his forehead against him, looking a lot like a scared, lonely child. He said nothing, used to Tsuzuki's need of contact.
"So, what happened this time in this dream of yours?" he asked, knowing that talking somehow eased Tsuzuki's worry. Tsuzuki tried summarizing the dream. It wasn't good at it really, since the facts were mere symbols and what really connected them to the future were the feelings behind them. As he finished his summary Touda suggested he could have merely dreamed yesterday night facts, since the dream was close enough to them.
"I don't know. Do you think this means everything is going to happen again?" Touda shrugged.
"Maybe." As long as Tsuzuki didn't get involved he didn't particularly care.
"I don't like the idea to see yesterday night's guy again. I've a bad feeling about him."
Misfortune. That guy carried misfortune, took pleasure in ruining everything. He also set a cold, disgusting, murdering feeling inside him, as if it could be an option to step over that man like he was nothing more than a bug, merely because he was a threat.
"I don't want him to hurt Hisoka again. And I've to protect Hisoka from the 'Snake Thing' also."
"Can the 'Snake Thing' be the Bakemono who's bugging our host and therefore be not related at all to the boy? Father and son resemble each other quite a bit." Tsuzuki considered the suggestion frowning.
"I'm not sure. If it is we're not facing just an ordinary Bakemono and, as for the man... he was Hisoka and wasn't and he also was Nagare-san and wasn't and he also was and wasn't others I never knew... like he was many guys and yet just one... and I know, it doesn't make sense."
"Maybe the dear older brother is involved too?" Touda suggested. Tsuzuki went back to the scene again then shacked his head.
"Nope. He wasn't Iwao-san."
"Too bad," Touda complained. Tsuzuki was tempted to tell him to be nice but couldn't manage to do so. He didn't particularly liked Iwao-san and even if he didn't want the man to get hurt he see no reason to take his side right then.
So now, what could he do? He saw again that man walking toward him. In his mind he was the immediate threat, a threat worst than the 'Snake Thing'.
It was undoubtedly the man who hurt Hisoka.
So why he felt there was a lot more? He didn't want to remember whom else the man had looked like. That guy was long time dead. Sensei couldn't come back from JiGoku to ruin his life again.(8) A wave of nausea hit him as he snuggled closer to Touda.
"Tsuzuki. What aren't you telling me?"
"I've a bad feeling," he murmured, trying to forget the ghosts of his past.
"I've got that much. What else?" Touda wasn't stupid, knew him quite well and hated to be cut out from Tsuzuki's troubles. So far Tsuzuki had always managed to keep everyone out of that part of his life but he was getting the feeling it would turn soon always more difficult.
"Touda... would you do something for me?" he asked.
"What do you want?" the man asked suspiciously.
"Would you?" There was some anxiousness being Tsuzuki's voice.
"You know my life is yours to command, Aruji-sama," the other whispered in a somewhat affectionate tone.
"Don't call me that," Tsuzuki said with clear disliking for the term. "We're friends, aren't we?" His voice was almost pleading as if he feared Touda could reject him.
"Idiot," the man replied. "You should know well the answer to that." Tsuzuki grinned up at him and relaxed. "So, what do you want?" Touda asked again.
"You'll do it for me! I knew you love me!" the man said enthusiastically and Touda was ready to bet that if Tsuzuki had a tail he would be wagging it.
"Idiot," he repeated. Tsuzuki's smile widened.
"I love you too," he replied hugging him tighter. Touda frowned, knowing better than to take Tsuzuki's sentence for a romantic declaration. It was just one of Tsuzuki's standard replies to him, nothing more, as 'idiot' was one of his own. Yet, even if it meant nothing, it would bug him tremendously if Tsuzuki would use it with someone else.
"Tsuzuki. Say what you want and get done with it," he muttered.
"Would you search for a person for me?" The man's gaze was back to a serious mode, his voice had again that soft, pleading inflexion Tsuzuki almost always used when he was asking for something he desperately needed and didn't really hope to get.
"Who?" he asked, mildly interested.
"The guy we met yesterday night. You said you could track back his scent," he said in a low whisper, lowering his eyes as well.
"You're worried for the boy," he accused.
"Yes but... not only..." He shifted nervously. Touda placed a hand on his cheek and forced him to look back at him.
"What's wrong Tsuzuki?" he asked.
"He was in my dream... and he... he's a... a bad omen... I... I don't know how to put it. I... I know him... and yet I don't... It's something I feel... but I can't fully grasp... and it scares me... I know it sounds weird..."
"If you want me to I'll search for him," the other replied simply. If that man disturbed Tsuzuki he would make sure he wouldn't dare to do it again. It didn't matter if it happened in a dream. "I'm not sure I can still track him down. It's been more than twelve hours from our 'meeting' with him, he could have already left for only Kami know where."
"But you'll try?"
"Sure. If it pleases you. But you'll wait me here and you will take care to not get yourself in trouble. And you'll sleep first." As he expected Tsuzuki hugged him. Tightly. The man was quite predictable. "There's something you want me to do if I find him? I don't know, something nice like feeding him to our host's personal Bakemono..." Tsuzuki looked straight at him and he could say he rarely saw his expression so serious.
"No. If you find him keep far from him. Don't even let him recognize you or see you. Promise me Touda. Promise me you'll keep far from him." Touda frowned. It was complicate to track someone down and in the same time keep himself far from him. Plus Tsuzuki was worrying too much. It wasn't like a puny human could really be a problem for him. Yet Tsuzuki looked so serious in this...
"Okay. If that's what you want," he agreed. Not that he would have disobeyed to Tsuzuki's wishes anyway. The man slumped against him, a little more relived.
"You swore to me?" he asked in a very 'scared, little child' voice.
"Don't you trust me?"
"If there's a person I trust in this world, that one is you, but I worry anyway."
"Idiot. I'll go searching for him after you have your nap but I doubt he's still around here. He had murdered a woman after all. Why should he still stay here?" he reasoned.
"Because he has a work to finish and a challenge to face. And because... he's... linked to me."
"Well, he'll do better not trying anything funny about you. As for you, I bet you'll find excuses to stay here till you aren't sure the boy's save, don't you?" Tsuzuki gave him a guilty smile. "Get some sleep, Tsuzuki," Touda told him as he wrapped securely both his arms around him. It wasn't a hug because he didn't hug, that was Tsuzuki's job. His was more like the tight grip a man would have over his most precious possession. He knew he should learn to do better but well... hugs weren't his thing. Tsuzuki anyway didn't complain as he snuggled closer to him. He was fast asleep while Touda stood awake guarding his sleep. Tsuzuki looked always like a lost child once he was asleep. It was up to him to make sure no one would harm him. He frowned. Whoever it was this guy who was worrying Tsuzuki he'll be damned if he would allow him to hurt Tsuzuki. No, he'll rip him apart before allowing him to lay a single finger on the man he swore to protect. Tsuzuki was his. The only thing he had, the only person who cared, his master, his reason to live. No one was allowed to hurt him.
Tsuzuki slept more or less all the morning without troubles and was woken up by Miya-san, who came to call them for lunch. He managed to chat happily of meaningless little things during lunch also, while Touda was a silent but reassuring presence near him. Iwao-san didn't take part to the lunch. Hisoka instead was there, but sat all the time rigid and silent, his effort to behave 'properly' even more painfully visible than at breakfast. Nagare-san was distracted and lost in his own thoughts. Rui-san was... unsure, as if she really didn't know what to do. At least the food was good but in that context not even Tsuzuki managed to truly enjoy it, even if he did his best not to show it.
After lunch each Kurosaki left the room with a different excuse. Tsuzuki was doing his best not to show it but he really hated the atmosphere he breathed in that house. He was tempted to bug Touda till he didn't give up and allowed him to follow him but dismissed the idea almost immediately. He would have been merely a nuisance, had he tagged along with him, so he watched him leave, smiling brightly and pretending everything was okay. Touda had glared at him and assured him he would return soon, a clear sign he had understood perfectly Tsuzuki wasn't comfortable alone in the Kurosaki house.
Once left alone Tsuzuki sat quietly where Touda had left him. He didn't like being by himself but he didn't want to be a burden either and there were things that Touda could handle better if he hadn't him around. He groaned wishing his Tsukaima could be of some use but knowing that his little pursuing birds needed some more information than the ones he had in order to be able to track down a target. He could try and make himself useful getting some info about the Kurosaki's problems even if he couldn't say he was looking forward to talk to one of them. He sighed again and decided he would have better chances trying with one of the maid so he was about to try to find Miya-san when he heard Hisoka's young voice.
He looked around but couldn't really see anyone.
He stood and tried to follow the sound. He didn't really like to wander around alone. His sense of direction was... not good at all. He had gotten used to dealing with it but not to the nagging sensation of being... utterly lost. Anyway Touda was going to be back sooner or later and he would come to search for him should he loose himself again...
It took a bit of effort but finally he managed to spot the child, sitting quietly all alone in one corner of the garden, reading a book. He didn't seem very comfortable, probably his recent injuries still stung. A lonely sign. He smiled seeing himself and Ruka in that small figure, two cursed children who had never been allowed to play with the others. Yet he had been happy, he at least had his sister. It must be worse for Hisoka who was really all alone. Weird how he felt so tightly 'bonded' to the lonely child he barely knew.
Hisoka had been fighting with the past night memories all the day. Somehow the challenge with Touda-san had helped a bit, keeping the memories at bay but as soon as it was finished everything had gone downhill.
His father had allowed him to return back into his room to wait for the doctor. The wait had been pure agony. Once arrived, Hazama Sensei had been gentle with him and tried to be as tactful as possible but it didn't help much to make it better. The fact he had to be naked, exposed and handled by a woman who, even if was only trying to help, managed to make him feel even more ashamed. He didn't really considered a positive new the fact he didn't reported serious injuries. Right then, death would look wonderful to him.
Tsuzuki-san's presence at lunch had made things marginally better. The man somehow made him feel safe and his feelings were so nice and overwhelming they were starting to feel like a drug. Yet he knew the 'need' he was starting to develop for the man's attentions was dangerous. Tsuzuki-san wasn't going to stay so he couldn't allow to delude himself into thinking he had found a person who cared for him. That was why he had done his best to avoid Tsuzuki-san after lunch. Originally his plan had been to close himself in his room but the place was making him claustrophobic so he picked up a book and went to read it in a hidden corner of the garden. Too bad the garden made him feel... exposed. He was really having a hard time trying to get the sense behind what he was reading.
He half jumped in surprise when Tsuzuki-san greeted him.
"Ehy, it's just me!" the man said in a half complaining, half whining tone. He noticed Hisoka was looking at him with green eyes wide open as if he expected to be attacked. "Hi, Hisoka, what are you doing?" he repeated gently.
"You startled me," the boy informed him, frowning, forcing himself to keep a normal tone. He wasn't good at it. His voice was trembling as if he was about to cry. "It's not polite to sneak up on people."
"Sorry." Tsuzuki smiled sheepishly. Hisoka turned his gaze away, refusing to allow himself to accept the man's kindness. Tsuzuki frowned. Probably the child had tons of things bottled up inside himself after what happened and no one to talk with. "Geez, the visit with the doctor went that bad?" he asked, offering him a way to vent whatever was tormenting him.
"It went fine, thanks for asking." Stubbornly Hisoka fought to control his breathing. Somehow Tsuzuki-san's caring feelings couldn't be ignored and were making him feel weak, as if it could be an option to express what he was desperately trying to keep buried inside himself. "Hazama Sensei said you did a good work packing me up yesterday night," the child added, expecting the man to start bragging about how good he had been and ending up in ignoring him in advantage of his ego as everyone else would have done and not to turn serious and... melancholic.
"It came with experience. You'll call yourself lucky if you will never have to learn to do it," Tsuzuki said softly, looking at the ground. Hisoka looked up at him but whatever had possessed the man was gone and his gaze was now pausing on the book he was holding. "What are you reading?" he asked curiously. He knew he probably wouldn't manage to get Hisoka to talk about what was tormenting him so he could at least try to distract him.
"Shakespeare. 'Romeo and Juliet',"(9) he said showing the title on the cover. Reading was his last resort to keep all the feelings inside him at bay. A Kurosaki can't allow himself to bawl like a baby and tremble in fear. Too bad he couldn't concentrate on the tale in the book because past night events were keeping replaying themselves in his mind.
"It doesn't look like a book with a lot of pictures," Tsuzuki commented, frowning in disapproval. He should have expected Nagare's son, after what had happened to him, instead of trying to cheer himself up reading a 'Doraemon'(10) manga, would try to show how tough he was reading a western classic that even he, who didn't read literature books, knew to be about a tragedy. Well, to be honest the western part was a bit of surprise. Traditionalist as the house was, he expected them to have Japanese writers' books only.
"I don't need pictures," Hisoka complained and, for a moment, he sounded exactly like the thirteen years old he was. "I'm old enough to read books without them," he informed him, annoyed. Did he believe him a child who couldn't read serious books?
"But I do like pictures!" Tsuzuki declared, sitting near to him. Hisoka blinked in surprise.
"You behave like a child," he muttered returning back to his book in attempt to ignore that side of him that desperately wanted Tsuzuki-san's attentions. He was also getting nervous. He never really stayed alone with a stranger before and he didn't really know how to act or how to keep up a conversation, his only models of behaviour being his parents and his uncle who were anything but friendly toward him. He never stayed alone with someone except yesterday night when that man had dragged him to the ground and... He almost screamed when he felt himself being picked up.
"What are you doing? Put me down right now!" he ordered trying to sound authoritarian and not as terrorized as he was, as the man sat him on his lap and held him there.
"But Hisoka, I can't read with you if you are sitting there!" the man whined. Hisoka looked at him shocked at the total absurdity of his reply.
This man wanted to read with him!
Yet Tsuzuki-san's gentle emotions were filtering through him somehow... lulling him, calming him down and making difficult for him to oppose at Tsuzuki-san's wishes as the man, ignoring his stupor, asked him to which point he stopped reading, learning a bit over his shoulder.
"That's my book! You... you can't read it with me!" the child reasoned trying to gain back control over his emotions. It couldn't be him the one who wanted to be held by this man! It couldn't be him the one who felt safe being in his arms! He squirmed without conviction.
"Why no? It's boring here Hisoka! Reading the book together will be more fun!"
'This man,' Hisoka decided, 'is totally insane'. It wasn't just that Tsuzuki-san behaved like a child- it was that he wanted to... stay with him. Come to think he still hadn't put him down. Worse, come to think he didn't want him to put him down.
"Tsuzuki-san," he said trying to adopt the tone of an adult who was talking to a kid but sounding more like a scared child pleading a grown up. "Put me down please. This is completely improper and..."
"Aren't you comfortable?" the man interrupted him, looking at him with a serious expression now. He didn't mean to push Hisoka too much. He just wanted to offer him comfort but maybe physical contact was bad to him. Yet he had always felt better when he was close to Ruka or Touda but maybe it was because he trusted them...
"I'm..." Hisoka paused. He was comfortable he realized, it felt good to sit on Tsuzuki-san's lap, it felt safe to sit there, like that place was exactly where he was supposed to be, the warmness of the man's body pleasurable, as well as his emotions, which were all wrapping around him like a soft blanket of kindness and care, numbing all his pain and shame. "I..." He couldn't bring himself to lie but he couldn't bring himself to admit the truth either. It was frustrating and it made him feel miserable. He knew he couldn't accept the man's kindness but... he wanted to so desperately. "It's really improper Tsuzuki-san and I..." he murmured in a small voice, that he was desperately trying to keep at least firm, even if his gaze was downcast and his hands were gripping his book a bit too tightly.
"But you are comfortable, Hisoka," the man stated in a gentle adult voice as he smoothed his hair with a hand the same way he would have done with a kitten's fur and something deep inside in Hisoka, something scared, lonely and needy, wished he could allow himself to learn into the caress. "And no one will come here to blame you if you behave improperly just for once. You're young, kiddo, you should allow yourself to be spoiled." Hisoka gulped, forcing back that something that was trapped in his throat.
"I'm not a kid," he said weakly but he didn't attempt to get up anymore.
"I know, you're way too mature for being so young." Tsuzuki's voice was... soothing as well, as it had been his hand caressing his hair and he unconsciously learned back against the man's chest, tempted to hide against him again as he did when he woke up.
"So, where were you?" the man asked, switching to a cheerful tone. Hisoka gulped again then read the piece lazily in a wavering voice. He didn't really want to read anymore, just stay there and allowing the man to... spoil him. He supposed he would do all the reading when Tsuzuki-san surprised him reading Romeo's quote with a lot of emphasis and turning the romantic feeling of the man in a sort of a parody.
Weird.
And... distracting.
Hisoka looked at him as he read, almost captured, even if he had no idea why, but when Tsuzuki-san ended the quote he glanced back at him and told him it was his turn to read. Hisoka was about to mechanically comply when he glanced back at the book and saw what he was supposed to read.
"I'm not going to play 'Juliet'!" he stated firmly, forgetting, in his own indignation, what was plaguing him.
"Why no?" Tsuzuki-san asked in an absolutely innocent tone.
"She's a girl!" Hisoka replied even more offended. "I'll do 'Romeo'!"
"I can't do 'Juliet'!" Tsuzuki-san said in a definitely whining tone.
"Oh? And why not?" Hisoka asked glaring at him.
"I'm too tall to be a girl! If Juliet was going to be as tall as me she wouldn't be moaning over a man up on a balcony, she would be applying for some basketball team! And you would be a too short Romeo to get her attentions!"(11) Tsuzuki added with a sense of triumph. Hisoka had a flash of a very tall, strangely resembling Tsuzuki-san, Juliet who refused a very short Romeo's advances to play basketball. Weird. Definitely weird. 'Funny also' a voice inside him murmured weakly. He lowered his gaze trying to frown. It wasn't proper for the heir of the house to be amused by such things.
"Fine, stop the whining, I'll be 'Juliet' but if you try to make fun of me..."
"I wouldn't even dare," the man assured him grinning. Hisoka snorted and read his quote mechanically. Then it was Tsuzuki-san's turn but when he had to say his part the man stood scooping him up as he talked, like they weren't just reading but really playing the drama. Then he paused in mid sentence.
"I can't remember what he said after!" Tsuzuki-san complained in a whisper. Before realizing what he was doing Hisoka spied in the book and whispered back the end of the quote. Tsuzuki-san cleared his throat and diligently repeated his part. Then set Hisoka standing on the stone they had been sitting on and, while holding his arms he said simply that it was his turn. Hisoka looked down at the book, that annoying voice inside his head whining at the loss of contact as he read his quote. The he looked up at Tsuzuki-san and almost half lost himself in his gentle eyes. Than he was about to scream as the man caused him to spin and fall back against his chest and in his arms so he could spy on the book the next part. They went on reading like that, somehow pretending they were playing the drama, till they finished that scene and Hisoka had to privately admit to himself it had been... fun.
Maybe it was just because it was the first time someone spent some time with him just because he wanted and not because it was his duty but...
Sitting back on the rock close to Tsuzuki-san he wondered if he could ask the man to read some more with him. He was about to talk when Tsuzuki-san ruffled his hair commenting that 'Romeo and Juliet' had to be one of the stories Ruka would like.
"Who's Ruka?" he couldn't stop himself from asking a tiny pang of jealousy moving inside him. The man had mentioned her that morning too. It was a bad question apparently as Tsuzuki-san's gaze saddened.
"My sister," he said simply. "She really would have loved this story." It was then Hisoka realized the agonizing sense of loss that came from the man every time he mentioned her could only meant she was dead. He would have liked to move on another topic, but his mind was empty and he had no idea what to say. Tsuzuki however didn't spent too much time in his own misery as he forced back his feeling of desperation and continued talking as if nothing had happened and the pause he did had never been. "However I doubt Touda would like it. Too much talking," he observed. Touda was more for the 'going straight to the point' and Tsuzuki wouldn't have wanted to be in the Capulets' place should they try to oppose to him.
"Is Touda-san... your boyfriend?" he whispered blushing profusely. It wasn't what Hisoka wanted to say and it wasn't proper either but it was a question he had to make even if he had no idea why. He felt strangely jealous and competitive every time Touda-san was around, even if the man couldn't care less about him.
"What?" Tsuzuki-san asked confused evidently still lost in his own world.
"Is he your boyfriend?" Hisoka replied, blushing even more. "Touda-san, is he your boyfriend?" Tsuzuki-san apparently was too busy staring at him for answering. "I'm sorry," Hisoka stammered apologetically unable to stop talking. "It's not my business and it was improper to ask and... and... The maids... They were all thinking... I mean... He feels like he has this big, huge crush for you and... and... your feelings for him are SO strong and..." He shut up immediately, red as a tomato. That was it, he knew he did it. People, after the initial stupor always ended up being mad at him when he stuck his nose in their feelings... Now, as the shock would wore off he knew Tsuzuki-san...
Tsuzuki-san laughed.
"No, no, don't worry..." he managed to say. "You know, that's the first time someone dared to ask it... I guess they're all normally too scared by what Touda's reaction would be. Anyway no, he's not my boyfriend," he concluded smiling, then looked at him thoughtfully. "You aren't hitting on him, are you? Because Touda had the nasty tendency to hit hard who tries to hit on him no matter if it's male or female... He really doesn't like to be on the receiving end of this sort of interest..."
"Of course not!" he exclaimed almost in horror at the idea. "I could care less about Touda-san! It's just... you feel like... I mean you look like you like him so much... he is not your brother or something right?" he asked. In his family brotherly love didn't exist but in some books he read it was described as a quite strong feeling.
"Or something. It's complicated," the man admitted. Tsuzuki-san's emotions were a mess; shifting and moving so fast Hisoka couldn't follow them, as the man seemed lost in deep thinking. "Did you ever have a person who's so special to you that you'll think you wouldn't be able to go on without?" he asked. Hisoka shook his head not even sure if Tsuzuki-san was referring to Touda-san or to... someone else. It was hard to read the man. His feelings were strong but too... volatile, constantly changing like the shape of clouds in a windy day. "Well, maybe it's better like that," Tsuzuki commented, his mood shifting again as his gaze stilled on some 'interesting' stone on the ground.
Hisoka didn't think it was better. He didn't think it was that interesting to be completely alone. He would have liked someone who would only look at him, comfort him, be kind to him and always be with him like Touda-san was doing with Tsuzuki-san. Come to think...
"Where is Touda-san now?" he asked.
"Touda? Oh, he's in the village searching for something for me..." As he'd guessed. Touda-san did nothing unless it was for Tsuzuki-san's benefit. So why the thing was bothering him so much? Hisoka frowned staring at the ground and wondering if it was proper for the Kurosaki heir to kick a rock to vent his frustration. Probably not. Tsuzuki didn't notice his displeasure and added: "He should be back soon... I hope..." Hisoka managed to perceive worry, lots of it, before Tsuzuki's feelings shifted. Again.
"Hisoka?" the man called. The child turned toward him, a carefully neutral expression on his face. "May I ask you a question?" Tsuzuki-san looked absolutely serious and his feelings... he couldn't understand them and so he didn't knew what to expect. He felt... nervous... kind of scared, but a Kurosaki can't be scared by a question, so he nodded timidly.
"Are you ticklish?" the man asked. His eyes were still serious and introspective but in his feelings mirth was starting to show up. Hisoka blinked, replayed the question in his mind, realized his implications and quickly stood up.
"No, I'm not," he hurried to say, shaking his head for emphasis.
"You sure?" He blushed under Tsuzuki-san intense gaze and nodded energetically. "You don't look that sure..." the man commented as his expression was starting to show his internal amusement.
"I'm very, very sure Tsuzuki-san, really..." he said back walking.
"Only one way to find out," the man replied standing up.
"You wouldn't dare..." Hisoka stammered almost indignantly. Tsuzuki only grinned down at him.
"Come here, kiddo..." Hisoka back walked and, as the man walked toward him grinning widely, started running away, his book forgotten on the rock they had been sitting on. Tsuzuki-san chased him.
It wasn't a real chase, the man was obviously faster than Hisoka but was allowing the child to stay out of his reach and Hisoka knew it. It was more like they were playing 'Tag'. Tsuzuki-san's amused feelings were also starting to get the best of him as they proved contagious. He didn't realized when he felt the impulse to smile, he only knew that, when the man finally gripped him, sent them both sprawling on the ground and started tickling him he laughed, he laughed like he had never done in his whole life, struggling and trying to get free and he felt... happy. So, okay it wasn't real laughter, merely a reflex due to the man's tickling him and yet... the happiness was true and it was all his. Then, a flash of a past memory, a flash of already having been pushed on the ground and trapped there, squirming to get free, had to plague him and try to ruin everything but he didn't manage to really put it to focus as the man suddenly gripped him and rolled them over so that he now was sitting on Tsuzuki-san's stomach, as the man was laying sprawled on the grass, his hands resting gently on Hisoka's waist. The child blinked as he looked down at Tsuzuki-san who smiled up at him, his memory pushed somewhere in the back of his mind to give space to the more pleasurable feelings Tsuzuki-san was causing him to have.
"So you're not ticklish eh? You're a lousy liar, kiddo," the man commented amused, as his hand moved to rest affectionately on Hisoka's cheek. The child drank avidly all the nice feelings the man transmitted, feelings that were chasing away that overwhelming fear and desperation he felt every time his mind tried to go back to the previous night.
"You," Hisoka replied looking down at him. "You have a completely improper behaviour toward the heir of this house, do you know that?" he said trying to look serious but without really putting much effort in it. Tsuzuki laughed at that.
"Is it so wrong for the heir of the house to laugh a little and have fun?" he asked. Hisoka looked at him speechless. Tsuzuki merely smiled at him. "You know, I think that this may be happiness. We're here in the open, doing nothing extraordinary and yet being free to do all we want to do. The sky is blue, the sun is warm, a gentle breeze is blowing and those few little white clouds look really nice. It's nothing special and yet it feels good. I'll remember it." Hisoka felt like the man had said something deep and important but he just couldn't really realize what. He decided he'll simply concentrate on the feelings, feelings of happiness and belonging that for the first time in ages he seems to have too and that, as Tsuzuki-san said, he would store in his memory. They stood there silently for a while, not really bothering to do anything else but enjoy the quiet there. Hisoka wondered if maybe they could stay like that forever when he felt Tsuzuki-san's hand brushing again his cheek.
"So, what we're going to do now, Danna-chama?" he asked smiling in an almost teasing manner.
"I don't really know, Tsuzuki-san," Hisoka muttered shyly as he blushed. He never had a playmate before. Oh, he pretended often enough he had playmates but they were all in his own mind. He had spied from the gate the other children and learned a game or two but he couldn't really ask to a grown up if he wanted to play 'Kagome-Kagome' or something similar. Besides he too was too old for those sorts of plays. "Maybe you can tell me more about Shikigami?" he offered.
"Shikigami?" Tsuzuki repeated sitting up. Hisoka gripped his shirt fearing he would roll over now that his 'chair' was moving, and relaxed when the man simply passed an arm behind him, sustaining him and moving him to sit on his lap. It was even weirder to be so close to Tsuzuki-san and he tried to get up. His attempt proved a waste of time as Tsuzuki-san held him and picked him up as he stood up.
"Tsuzuki-san. I'm not a baby, put me down!" The man must have a thing for embarrassing him. He was so busy blushing he didn't notice at first when Tsuzuki sat down on a rock keeping him on his lap.
"Why do you want to know about Shikigami, Hisoka?" Tsuzuki asked him gently. The child lowered his gaze embarrassed. With his request he had probably looked like a child asking for a bedtime story. "Ehy, there's nothing wrong in wanting to know more about Shikigami! They're charming beings after all!" Tsuzuki said trying to reassure the kid.
"It's not that... it's..." A blush travelled over his features. "I thought... I'd like to have one..." he almost whispered then he hurried to add: "I mean, I know it's childish, I..."
"It's not. Shikigami are wonderful beings, everyone would wish to have one of them as friend. There is nothing childish, trust me." Tsuzuki-san's smile was reassuring and somehow it managed to chase away part of Hisoka's embarrassment. "But I've the feeling you don't want a Shiki just to have a friend... So, what's the problem? Is it maybe related to why your father wants us to stay here?" The man's voice was friendly but there was something different in his feelings, something adult and sharp and he didn't really liked it. It made him feel a vulnerable and little creature in front of someone older, stronger and wiser. Yet that feeling vanished fast as Tsuzuki-san shrugged dismissively. "Don't worry, it's okay if you don't know." Hisoka lowered his gaze and bit his lower lip. He had an idea why his father would want to keep Tsuzuki-san there.
"Maybe it's because of me," he murmured in a small voice.
"You? Well, he may be still worried about..." Tsuzuki cut quickly the sentence refusing to bring out memories of the past night in front of the child. Hisoka felt it and somehow his heart warmed even as his bitterness increased. Tsuzuki-san had thought his father wanted to protect him. Tsuzuki-san had, in a fashion, tried to protect him not mentioning the past night events. Too bad his father probably didn't care at all about what happened the past night and probably only wanted Tsuzuki-san to get rid for him of that Bakemono that his son was. He sighed and almost jumped out of his skin when Tsuzuki-san ruffled his hair claiming everything was going to be ok and he had no need to worry. He looked up at Tsuzuki-san and saw him smiling down at him, a warm smile no one had even used for him and he felt miserable as he showed himself able to do nothing else but lower his gaze and blush a fiery deep red. Right then nothing mattered except the gentle fingers, which were ruffling his hair and this man closeness and kindness. Of course Tsuzuki-san's companion had to interrupt such wonderful moment choosing to come back to reclaim his partner just them.
"TSUZUKI!" he called, glaring darkly at Hisoka, in a clearly annoyed voice.
"Touda is back!" Tsuzuki exclaimed, excitement filling him to the point he almost forgot he still had Hisoka in his lap. He managed to remember just in time to stop Hisoka from tumbling when he tried to stand. He carefully set down the child, who immediately frowned, lowered his gaze and bit his lip in frustration as he realized Tsuzuki-san was about to run to the man completely forgetting him. He shouldn't be so upset really, Hisoka told himself. He should be used to be ignored. The child was about to return in the house and hid in his room when Tsuzuki-san paused, ran back and ruffled Hisoka's hair again causing him to blush cutely. "Thanks a lot for playing with me, Hisoka-chan. I had lot of fun!" he assured before hurrying to Touda and hugging him tightly as if he'd been away for centuries. Hisoka stood still as he observed Touda-san muttering something grumpily and, as soon as Tsuzuki-san stopped to squeeze the life out of him and let him go, walked toward the house followed by a happily chatting Tsuzuki-san. He didn't miss the glare the man threw him before entering as if warning him that Tsuzuki-san was off limits. Hisoka contained himself as he felt the childish impulse to stick his tongue out at the man. Touda-san had no right to consider Tsuzuki-san as his merely because he saw him first. As Kurosaki Hisoka frowned and started marching toward his house, careful to walk in the exact proper way for the heir of the head of the house, he forgot all his past troubles and started planning his future actions. He was a Kurosaki after all and what a Kurosaki wanted a Kurosaki got. If Touda-san wanted war over Tsuzuki-san he was more than happy to oblige him.
It was later, when they both were sitting in the room the Kurosaki assigned them, that Tsuzuki dropped the 'happy puppy' façade and asked him how things went in the village. Touda shrugged.
"He's either not here anymore or well hidden. To make up for his absence there are Shinigami in the city. The real Shinigami," he clarified remembering people nicknamed 'Shinigami' even Tsuzuki and his coworkers. The Shinigami's presence was a bad omen. The original 'Shinigami' served Enma DaiOh-sama, the ruler of Meifu, the land of the dead, bringing back to him the Reikon of the dead who refused to leave ChiJou, the world of the living. Nine times out of ten their presence meant that someone was about to die. Tsuzuki had some run in with them in the past. They hadn't been pleasant.(12)
"Did you see them?" Tsuzuki asked, his expression serious and thoughtful. Touda shook his head. He knew Enma DaiOh kept tabs on Tsuzuki's movements. He didn't like the man interest over Tsuzuki and wanted to keep Tsuzuki as far as possible from him and his men.
"Just sensed them," he admitted.
"Did they see you?"
"I'm not sure but I bet that, by now, they know we're here. Everyone in the city knows about the boy's 'incident', even if not in details," Touda informed him. Tsuzuki frowned.
"Do you think they're here for the woman that was murdered yesterday? Or for..."
"Someone from this family? No idea, but if they were interested in a Kurosaki they probably would have already tried to get into the house, wouldn't they?"
"Probably. At least I hope so. I don't like the idea they're here, Touda..." Tsuzuki said as he sighed and absently hugged him again. Touda hadn't missed that, from the moment he was back, Tsuzuki hadn't stopped hugging him or holding his hand or his arm or even his jacket as if to make himself sure he was really there. He frowned, Tsuzuki was prone to worry too much and as much as he somehow didn't dislike being the centre of all those attentions from him he didn't want Tsuzuki to be worried. He shifted a bit, learning more into the hug, feeling Tsuzuki relaxing marginally as he did so, picked a small package from his pocket and offered it to Tsuzuki. Tsuzuki blinked, than smiled recognizing what it was.
"You got me strawberry candies for real? Thank you so much, Touda!" Tsuzuki exclaimed happily, hugging him even tighter. Anyway it was good to see Tsuzuki finally smile a bit more relaxed as he immediately tried one candy. Sweets nearly always cheered him up. Then Tsuzuki, while chewing his candy, looked up at him and asked in a curious tone:
"Hey, Touda, do you have a big, huge crush on me?" Touda glared.
"Who's the idiot who's filling your empty head with such absurd questions?"
"A birdie told me?" Tsuzuki suggested, not taking offence from his words.
"I'm going to have a Yakitori party,"(13) Touda replied darkly. He hated when people stuck their noses in his private business. Oh, ok, he hated when people stuck their noses in his business, private or not. And, of course, in Tsuzuki's ones as well.
"Don't worry, I love you anyway," Tsuzuki replied dismissively, offering him a candy. The possibility Touda had a crush on him hadn't really appealed him. In his twenty-three years of life he had had enough stalkers. He didn't want Touda to be another number in the bunch.(14)
"You'll better," he muttered, frowning as he picked up the round thing, placed it in his mouth and swallowed it after chewing it a couple of times. Really, he couldn't see how Tsuzuki could prefer those things to some fresh meat...(15)
He also couldn't see how someone could think he had a mere crush on Tsuzuki. It was almost insulting. He was past the crush stage by... ages. Of course Tsuzuki didn't need to know it. So far, all Tsuzuki wanted from him was a friend and he was going to be exactly that. Should Tsuzuki change his mind...
He felt Tsuzuki leaning on him. Not long ago he would have found disgusting the idea to have a master, to depend on someone else's wishes, to obey to someone's whims, to trust another's decisions. Now he couldn't really picture a life without Tsuzuki around. Three years ago the man had gotten his loyalty almost first glance, without any of the two being fully conscious of it. Now he lived, and he would die if necessary, if only to please him. He felt Tsuzuki releasing him and watched as the man laid down, resting his head on his leg. He attempted a frown.
"Do I look like a pillow to you?" he asked, even if he didn't really dislike having Tsuzuki resting on him. Tsuzuki grinned up at him, nodding.
"And a very comfortable one, I may add!" he commented happily. Touda snorted but made no move to push Tsuzuki away even if he turned his gaze away from him and started glaring at the wall in front of him grumpily. He was startled when he felt Tsuzuki's hand against his cheek and turned his gaze down on the man, who was smiling gently at him, his amethyst eyes serious and thoughtful. "What aren't you telling, Touda?" he asked.
He stared at his master, suddenly feeling very exposed. Tsuzuki was the only one who could read him and cared enough to do it. He had mixed feelings over this. One side of him felt uneasy at being so exposed, another was... happy to have a person around him who finally understood him and care about him and another... was plain scared that one day Tsuzuki might not like what was inside him and reject him. He felt the man's hand caressing his cheek soothingly, reassuringly and unconsciously he learned into the touch. Tsuzuki's smile widened. Touda sighed.
"Tsuzuki... if our host didn't tell why he want us to stay will we leave this cursed place?" he finally asked. Tsuzuki frowned.
"Why do you want to leave so badly?" Many reasons really, among them the Kurosaki males crushing on Tsuzuki and their obsession with ordering people around and trapping them, the Jushi, and the family's assorted Bakemono representing a threat to Tsuzuki, the liking Tsuzuki was developing for the brat and, on top of all this, the Shinigami he sensed in the village... More than enough reasons to leave the house in a hurry really.
"You want to stay for the brat, right?" he muttered. "You seem to like him even more than SoRyu's daughter!"(16) He didn't like the attachment Tsuzuki was developing for that brat. It wasn't merely his jealousy speaking. He didn't trust people especially if they had Bakemono running freely through their house and could risk hurt toTsuzuki's feelings.
"Hisoka is a lonely child. He reminds me when I was his age."
Touda groaned. If before he had believed he would have problems persuading Tsuzuki to leave now he knew for sure Tsuzuki wouldn't move until he was sure the boy was safe.
"Fine. We'll fix the brat's problems no matter if they want it or not. Then we'll leave, okay?" Tsuzuki smiled.
"Okay." Touda nodded in approbation. "Touda?" Tsuzuki called him.
"What?"
"Thank you. Thank you a lot."
Touda shrugged but the hug and the smile that Tsuzuki gave him didn't bother him much, really.
Dinner was uneventful. Hisoka was behaving a bit strangely, as if he really wanted to do something (what Tsuzuki couldn't figure) but had no idea how to do it. Tsuzuki realized however that the whole thing was apparently amusing Touda and somewhat Hisoka had understood it too, in fact he kept throwing at him glares. Touda was glaring back but with the confident look of one who knows the other had no chance against him.
Tsuzuki, who was 'trapped' between the two, didn't know what to do so he pretended to not notice and planned to question Touda later.
Nagare-san was worried. Tsuzuki wished the man would stop stalling and tell him what his problem was, but feared that, left alone, Nagare-san would never talk.
Rui-san was nervous. She obviously understood something was up but apparently she had no idea what it was.
Annoyed by the glaring contest between Touda and Hisoka and by Nagare-san's totally self-absorbed behaviour he decided to try to start a conversation with Rui-san.
At first the woman seemed hesitant to talk and paused before every sentence as if every time she had to choose which would be the most proper answer then seemed to relax and managed to keep up an innocent conversation about flowers. This seemed to attract Touda and Hisoka's attention but since none of the two had something to offer to the discussion they had to simply sit there frowning.
After dinner Hisoka, blushing profusely, mumbled something to Tsuzuki, which turned out into an invitation to see Hisoka's book collection. Even if he had never been interested in books, as Touda had to point out, Tsuzuki accepted the invitation and followed the boy into his bedroom, followed by Touda of course. He didn't mind, really, he liked Touda's company and he knew he would need his help to track back the way later but somehow the thing seemed to bug Hisoka. Tsuzuki wasn't surprised; very few could deal with Touda, yet he remained in Hisoka's room as long as he was acceptable for them to do so. He knew the child was probably feeling scared and lonely and probably he never had someone to keep him company and somewhat, even if Hisoka was so young compared to him, he enjoyed to spend time with him.
He would have remained longer but he just knew Hisoka's family wouldn't have accepted it and he also had an unfinished business to take care of. An unfinished business with the master of the house.
After he said goodnight to Hisoka ruffling his hair and causing him to blush wildly he exchanged a glance with Touda and then, the two of them moved to track Nagare-san.
Alone in his room, sitting on the Futon but refusing firmly to lay down on it and try to sleep, Hisoka was silently cursing his own stupidity. He knew Tsuzuki-san wasn't interested in books, he had realized it almost immediately and yet he had used that excuse to keep the man's attention on himself. A really pitiful attempt considering he should have guessed Touda-san wouldn't leave him alone with Tsuzuki-san. He groaned.
And what would he have done should he have been left alone with Tsuzuki-san?
Absolutely nothing, he admitted to himself bitterly. He had no idea how to deal with people, what to say to interest them. He knew only books and the proper etiquette for the heir of the house. And martial arts, of course, but he wasn't going to talk with Tsuzuki-san of something Touda-san probably knew better than him. He sighed.
What was he hoping to get?
Tsuzuki-san would leave the day after unless his father didn't hire him. Hisoka didn't want to know for what his father could hire Tsuzuki-san, too scared it could be for something regarding Hisoka himself. He sighed again. Maybe he should try to be the one to hire Tsuzuki-san but... for which reason? And with what money?
He sighed a third time. It was then he heard it. That soft, murmuring sound that was getting louder till the point it formed words and, once it did, he was helplessly caught in a trap.
Nagare was wondering what to do. The strangers may be a gift from a benevolent Kami-sama but... but the only Kami-sama he had learned to know was a monster who aimed to ruin his family.(17) He was taught to not trust strangers and yet... Someone, asking to be allowed to enter in his room, interrupted his thinking.
"Nagare-san, can I talk to you?" Tsuzuki-san asked. The man nodded and gestured for Tsuzuki-san to enter. He wasn't surprised to see Touda-san following Tsuzuki-san inside and when Tsuzuki-san sat in front of him Touda-san sat close to Tsuzuki-san, looking very annoyed and yet determinate to not let Tsuzuki-san alone.
"I'm sorry to disturb you, Nagare-san. I only wanted to know if you made up your mind," Tsuzuki said simply. Nagare-san's gaze lowered. No, evidently he hadn't yet. Tsuzuki sighed. "Why don't you tell me your problem so I can tell you if I can help or not?" he suggested.
"It's a family matter," Nagare-san informed him coldly. Tsuzuki groaned.
"And I'm ready to bet strangers aren't allowed to be informed about family matters. Nagare-san, you must know two things about my work: the first is that I'm not allowed to talk about the cases I deal with, some of them involves pretty important people who wouldn't want others to know they had Yurei in the fridge, the second is that I deal with Bakemono and assorted supernatural stuff. Now... does your problem concern a Bakemono or something similar?" Nagare-san nodded hesitantly. "Good, we're starting to go somewhere. Second question, not so nice this time... is this Bakemono harassing someone in your family?"
"This is not..." Nagare-san started but Tsuzuki cut him.
"... A difficult question, I know. You won't have a problem if he wasn't." The older man blinked. So he hadn't been wrong in his judgement. This foreigner was smarter than he looked. "Now... I doubt you would be so worried to talk if it involved a servant so this leaves only Rui-san, Iwao-san, Hisoka and yourself, am I right?" Nagare-san didn't reply but he didn't try to deny it either. "Rui-san looks fine to me. Not happy but definitely not tormented by a Bakemono or possessed. She's the sort of woman who wouldn't be able to hide this sort of thing." Nagare-san nodded. Tsuzuki continued. "Iwao-san is out of question as well. Even if he has an unpleasant personality he looks even too fine for his age." Tsuzuki observed Nagare-san carefully. The man clenched his fists and refused to look at him. There was something going on between the two brothers... something that could be related to the present problem. "We have Hisoka then," Tsuzuki continued slowly, studying carefully Nagare-san. Hisoka had hinted something even if he had refused to explain himself and even if he doubted Nagare-san wanted him there due to Hisoka, he was sure, in Hisoka's best interests, he would do better to make some investigation on this too. "He had a nasty meeting the past night that can have other consequences and somehow the child believes you won't mind getting rid of him if you judged him a Bakemono." Nagare-san turned to look at him, his eyes widening marginally in disbelief. Good. Whatever the problem between Hisoka and his family could be, his father didn't plan yet to get rid of him. "But it's not Hisoka, is it? I already told you it'll be better to ask to a professional for the Juso and you know I'm not and, as much as there's a problem connected with Hisoka, the Bakemono thing doesn't regard him." Nagare-san turned his gaze away again. "This leaves you, Nagare-san. When we first met you said to me you knew what Hisoka was going through." The man turned, glaring at him. "I won't ask, Nagare-san. If you paid attention then you should remember my reply to your answer." Nagare's eyes widened. He remembered it. Tsuzuki-san could understand. "So you've a Bakemono who's causing you troubles. Care to tell me more about the Bakemono so I can see how I can deal with him?"
"You... you always reminded me of my father," Nagare stammered.
"Nagare-san, I'm not that old!" Tsuzuki complained immediately "Couldn't you see me as a younger brother?" he added in an almost comical pleading whine. Nagare smiled for the first time. It was a forced, sad, tiny smile but a smile anyway.
"Tsuzuki-san, my father was a man who always knew what was going on. He had no fear in expressing his own opinions were they compliments or insults and always got what he wanted." Nagare lowered his gaze. "I admired him and wanted his approval with all my heart. Sadly I wasn't good enough for him. Iwao-niisan was more open and more to his liking."
"Nagare-san, had you ever wondered about how its difficult to express our feelings toward someone when this someone is a very private person who keeps all bottled inside?" Tsuzuki-san asked gently. What Tsuzuki-san said was true but it couldn't be the answer. He closed his eyes and forced himself to keep control over his own emotions.
"No, Tsuzuki-san, he disliked me and that's why he left me the house," he admitted. That was it, he said it and strangely enough he felt better after admitting it. Tsuzuki-san frowned.
"What do you mean..." Tsuzuki never got to end his question. The door was opened hurriedly by Miya who didn't even bothered to ask for permission before exclaiming with a panicked voice:
"Danna-sama! Hisoka-sama is vanished! We can't find him anywhere!" Tsuzuki stood in a second and grabbed the girl's shoulders.
"Miya-san! What do you mean?" The girl sobbed about to start crying.
"I saw Hisoka-sama's door open and I looked inside but he wasn't there. I got worried and searched for him, I asked the others to search too but we can't find him! I... I..." Tsuzuki released her frowning.
"I was an idiot. That fucking paedophile is probably back to finish what he started," he muttered.
"What do you mean..." Nagare-san started asking but Tsuzuki interrupted him.
"I'll get Hisoka back. Keep everyone else's in the house and don't move!" he exclaimed then ran out of the room followed by Touda. Nagare frowned, gave his orders at Miya and then ran after them as well. He was a Kurosaki. He would be damned if he would stay behind, waiting.
JJ's Notes:
1. After reading 'My World of Strawberries and Cream' an intriguing YnM AU fanfic written by Yuki-Sorano (which by the way I suggest you to read), I got the idea Tsuzuki MUST favour strawberries candies... However it's never said in the manga.
2. I'm assuming Ruka died at eighteen. The manga gives very little information about her so I'm making almost everything about her up.
3. 'Ufo Robot Grendaizer' it's an Anime series created in 1975 by Go Nagai. It's the first to show a big robot fighting aliens from Vega (big robots had already started to show up in anime but before they never faced the alien menace). The pilot of Grendaizer was Duke Fleed. Apparently the aliens were used to give their final strike when the moon was red. As far as I know that's the first time a red moon is associated to a nefarious event in an Anime. As for Tsuzuki being a 'Grendaizer' fan... well, in its time it had been a popular Anime so in this AU it's entirely possible.
4. 'Yoroiden Samurai Trooper' it's another Anime series created in 1988. Basically the story is about five samurai with mythological armours whom fought against the evil forces of Arago. As for Touda being a 'Samurai Trooper' fan... no, in the manga he's not. In this fic, as he said, he had watched the show because there had been nothing better in TV. However he doesn't dislike it.
5. Tsuzuki's nightmare is purposely confusing (as Hisoka's one had been) but for different reasons. In it are mixed Tsuzuki's past memories, Tsuzuki's present situation and glimpses about the future.
6. I picked up the term 'YumeMi' from 'X' a manga by CLAMP. It basically means 'Dreamgazer' and in 'X' is the name given to people who could see the future in dreams. However I'm not implying Tsuzuki can see the future like the 'X' YumeMi. In 'Tokyo Babylon', another manga always by CLAMP, is said that who 'Have held a special spiritual power different from others ever since birth can have prediction dreams'. Due to this Tsuzuki tends to have this odd nightmares that give hints about what will happen. Prediction dreams are quite common in Anime and Manga and there are a couple of cases that can be considered prediction dreams in YnM too.
7. In YnM it's said that in the eight years in which Tsuzuki was insane he never slept. In this AU however Tsuzuki was insane for two years only.
8. No, Tsuzuki doesn't know Muraki Kazutaka. He's talking about another person.
9. 'Romeo and Juliet' it's a tragedy from William Shakespeare. I doubt someone could not know what it is about. Anyway it's the love story between two teenagers (Romeo and Juliet) members of two enemy families (Montague and Capulet). In the end the two lovers die with three more characters. As for Hisoka reading it... In the manga Hisoka always read western classics. I figure he could read something from Shakespeare as well.
10. 'Doraemon' it's a manga for children by the duo Fujiko Fujio transformed in 1973 in an Anime series. It's an humoristic story about a child and his alien-talking cat who has a pocket on his stomach from which he could get out magical stuffs to solve the child problems. As far as I know it should still be fairly popular in Japan.
11. Tsuzuki's height is 180 cm. Hisoka at sixteen is, according to the 'YnM Character Sketchbook', 168 cm. At thirteen he should have been even shorter so definitely the height difference would have been noticeable...
12. As said before we have the Shinigami in this AU as well. However their presence will be marginal. They're just shadows looming over the main characters.
13. Yakitori is a type of dish made with roast chicken. Basically Touda is saying he's going to roast and eat who gave that idea to Tsuzuki and he's going to enjoy doing it.
14. In his past Tsuzuki had bad experiences with love relationships. Right now he doesn't want one. Besides he has kind of confused ideas about love relationships. However that will be explained later.
15. Nowhere it's said which food Touda likes. I'm assuming that, being a snake Shikigami he would favour foods snakes would like.
16. Touda is NOT saying Tsuzuki has a crush on Tenko. Tsuzuki simply felt a brotherly-type affection for her.
17. The Yatonokami isn't just a simple monster but a Kami as well.
JJ's Extra Notes:
The dream sequence is made using pieces that should have figured in chap. 1 and I know it's long and confusing. Sorry about this but part of it is based on Tsuzuki's past in this AU. It's kind of a spoiler if you can sort it out...
I'm not fully satisfied with the Tsuzuki-Hisoka part. It was hard to figure out how a thirteen years old Hisoka would behave. I tend to think that despite his mature behaviour in YnM there's an hidden child in Hisoka, one that was a little more in view when he was thirteen before he agonized alone for three years in a hospital due to Muraki's Juso. As for why he's dealing so well with what had happened to him... he's not dealing well with it. In this case his empathy came at handy because he's highly influenced by Tsuzuki's feelings plus he's trying to suppress the memories of the past night. Leave him without Tsuzuki and he'll be more than miserable.
I figure by now everyone had figured out that Touda is in love with Tsuzuki while Hisoka is crushing for him. Why is Hisoka merely crushing? Because he's thirteen and he had just meet him. In future chapters he'll grow and he'll have time to develop more serious feelings. As for Tsuzuki... he's blissfully unaware of Touda and Hisoka's feelings for him and yes, I'm having a lot of fun having Touda and Hisoka fighting over his attentions (especially when Tsuzuki ignored them both and started talking with Rui...).
Who's going to win Tsuzuki's love? Only time will tell...
Dictionary:
-chama: The affectionate version of '-sama'
-chan: Name ending used to express affection and familiarity or to talk with a child
-sama: "Lord" or "Lady"
-san: "Mr." or "Mrs."
Aruji: "Master" or "Owner"
Bakemono: Monster
ChiJou: Land of the Living
DaiOh: "Great King". Enma's title
Danna: Master (of the house)
Enma: "Demon of darkness". Ruler of the Land of Dead
Fuda: Short for 'Ujikofuda' ("Charm for Shrine Visitors"). Rectangular paper "charm" used to cast some spells
Futon: Bed in Japanese Style
JiGoku: Hell
Jushi: Magic User
Juso: Curse
Kagome, Kagome: "Caged Girl, Caged Girl". A children's play
Kami: God
Meifu: Land of the Dead
Niisan: "Brother" or "Older Boy"
Okaasama: Mother
Reikon: Soul
Sensei: "Doctor" or "Teacher"
Shikigami: "Ceremonial God". In YnM they are summoned creatures with two forms (usually one is animal looking while the other is human looking) that live in GenSoKai. In Japanese myth they're summoned creature that attends an Onmyouji
Shinigami: "God of Death" or "Death God". In Japanese myth two Shinigami are sent by Enma to retrieve the souls of the dead
Tsukaima: "Familiar Magic" or "Messenger Magic" or "Useable Magic". A summoned creature created with a Fuda specifically for a determinate purpose (pursuing targets, carrying messages, attacking enemies, spying)
Yakitori: "Roasted Bird". It's a type of food. Basically 'Chicken on the Spit'
Yatonokami: "God of the Night Sword". Monster who cursed the Kurosaki family
Yurei: "Ghost" or "Spirit of the Dead"
YumeMi: "Dreamgazer". Who can see the future in dreams
Replies to reviews:
To Everyone who reviewed: Thank you! You're a great encouragement for me!
To Tenshiamanda: Your reviews always make me so happy! Right now Tsuzuki's work is very close to the one of a Shinigami... As for Hisoka and Touda's competition... I'm glad you liked it! It's one of the parts I like the most if I can say so myself...
To Risa3: I guess that by now your questions have found an answer! I'm happy to hear you find this interesting!
To Sakura Blossom-Cilla-85: Tsuzuki will find out about Hisoka's empathy right in the next chapter!
To Silverfox1: Right now Touda is kind of used at it... as for what his reaction would be should someone else witness it... it's really better not to bug Touda especially when he had just woken up...
To killerlady: Sure I'll continue this story! I'm glad to hear you like it!
Send me your comments!