"B'Elanna, Tom. It's good to see you. Where's Miral?"
B'Elanna bent down to hug him first and then Tom shook his hand by way of greeting.
"You know how it is with First Year Academy Cadets. We'll all come again next week." It was Tom who answered. B'Elanna was silent beside him.
When Tom turned he could see why. B'Elanna was struck dumb by the sight of Chakotay in and anti-grav chair. So was he. But they knew that it would have happened eventually. Chakotay had explained to them the various stages of his disease and the manifestation of it, a little while after he got infected saving the Captain and B'Elanna five years ago in the Delta Quadrant.
"What's the matter B'Elanna? Too pale for you?" Chakotay moved around and took her hand and made a show of examining it. "I haven't been getting as much sun as some people." He grinned.
"Come on in, how's Q'onos?" He released her and led the way into the sitting area. The house was fragrant with home cooking.
"Hot." Tom was the one who answered for B'Elanna and for that she punched his arm. Tom didn't protest as he would have once. He was glad to have a semblance of his wife back after her initial shock.
"I'm enjoying it…." She began.
"Chakotay are they here….Ye…ouch?" Kathryn's voice called out from the kitchen and what started as a question ended up as a yelp of pain. Tom and B'Elanna did a double take when they heard her voice. Chakotay had turned to face them and he laughed when he heard Kathryn cry out and saw his guests' expressions.
"I'd introduce you, but I know that you have already met my Nurse, once or twice before."
"Nurse?" Tom almost choked.
"She's good in all areas except the cooking."
"I heard that." Kathryn called out as she came from the kitchen.
"Tom and B'Elanna, it's good to see you."
"Same here Admiral." B'Elanna answered but Tom was focused on the more important matter at hand.
"Nurse?" He intoned again.
"I'm taking a couple months off from Starfleet Command. I'll be staying here for that time, so if you need me, you know where to find me."
Tom didn't say anything after that.
"So what's for dinner?" B'Elanna was doing her part to keep them from becoming too depressed.
"Leola Root Stew." Chakotay deadpanned.
"You're kidding, right?" Tom's expression was one of horror.
"Yes I am," He deadpanned again, but this time there was a twinkle in his eye.
Kathryn was hugging both Tom and B'Elanna in turn.
"You guys want anything?' Chakotay was making his way towards the bar.
"Terran Beer for me. Bloodwine B'Elanna?"
His wife nodded.
Kathryn was wiping her hand on her apron. "Bloodwine?"
"It's an acquired taste Admiral, and believe me my wife has acquired some strange tastes going back to her roots."
Kathryn laughed and hugged Tom again. "It is good to see you see you again." Out of the corner of her eye, she observed B'Elanna watching Chakotay getting the things out of the cabinet slowly. His hands trembled a little bit more now and she knew that he didn't want to drop anything. She recognized that expression that he wore on his face.
"Tom let's go into the kitchen and you can tell me all about your new holonovel."
Tom looked around and saw the expression on his wife's face and at once he knew what the Admiral was trying to do.
He put his arms around her and led her to the kitchen, explaining as he did.
Chakotay turned and saw B'Elanna standing there staring at him with profound sadness being reflected in her eyes. He put down the drinks and moved until he was facing her and then he took her hands.
"I'm glad that you and Tom were the first to get here. There's something I want to say to you before the others come and try to keep the sadness of my approaching death away."
He squeezed her hands. "I am so proud of who you are and who you have become and I am glad that I got to see it first hand. I count myself lucky for having you as a close friend and as a sister."
B'Elanna was smiling at him, but he could see the tears that had been threatening to fall, had actually began sliding down her face a that moment. She knelt down and hugged him fiercely and Chakotay poured all the love that he had for this extraordinary person over the years into his embrace.
"I wish you didn't have to go." She said softly. Chakotay didn't say anything until she broke the embrace then he looked at her and she realized that silent tears were running down his cheeks also.
"I'll always be with you…..in here." He put his hand over her heart. Well one of them anyway.
"And here." He shifted his hand a little to the left and B'Elanna giggled in spite of herself. He had remembered that she had inherited two hearts from her mother.
'Come on let's find the Kathryn and that husband of yours, before she completely annihilates dinner."
"How is he really?"
"He's OK, it's just that he can't walk and he may fade in and out from time to time. But the new drug regimen that the Doctor has him on now is working well."
"Isn't there anything else that he can do?" Tom asked quietly.
"No." Kathryn's answer matched his tone of voice. "It's just a matter of time now."
"We came as soon as we heard. Thanks for using your influence to get us on a Defiant type starship, or else it would have taken us a lot longer to get here."
"Chakotay asked not to die alone. He wanted to have his family around him and I'm going to honor that request."
Kathryn had turned and was stirring a pot as she said the last sentence.
Tom was not going to let her get away that easily. When she was the Captain and he was the Lieutenant assigned to Conn, he would have had to be content in her answer or else face charges of insubordination. Not anymore.
"How are you doing?" Tom came up to her and put his hand on her shoulders.
"I'm alright." Tom knew that she was lying. The Admiral hadn't been alright since thirteen years ago and now in the next few weeks, it was going only going to get worst.
"If you need anything….Captain, let me know." Kathryn dropped the spoon as he addressed her using her former rank and faced him. Her eyes were full and the fact that Tom was seeing this let him know how badly off she was. In twenty three years, he had never seen the Captain look so lost as the Admiral was looking now and she had been through a lot. Going through this might push her over the edge and he was worried.
Kathryn smiled when she saw the look on his face and impulsively she reached out and hugged him again. Kathryn had seen the not only concern for her, but sorrow at the impending passing of a friend and a former commanding officer, and a family member. She felt the ripple of emotion going through him and as she embraced Tom and she knew that B'Elanna wasn't the only one deeply affected by what was happening, Tom was too.
"I can't turn my back on you for a second, can I?" B'Elanna's amused voice came through the door as Tom and Kathryn broke their embrace.
"Well you knew how Flyboys were when you married one."
"Yes I did, and I have never regretted choosing this flyboy."
Tom blushed and Kathryn grinned at seeing how much in love they still were after all of these years. Chakotay was smiling too, no doubt remembering the Tom that started off on the journey with them and the man standing before him now. Some things hadn't changed for Tom Paris, but the most important things had, and all for the better.
"Now don't you two start something in here." Chakotay moved into the kitchen bringing the drink to Tom as B'Elanna had moved along side him and put her arms around her husband's waist.
"We had enough complaints about deck nine, section 12 on Voyager." Kathryn chimed in.
They shared a good laugh at that and it settled the mood.
During the dinner Kathryn looked around at all of them. B'Elanna was telling them all about Q'onos and Tom was interjecting with his opinions and insights in such a way that it had both she and Chakotay in stitches and B'Elanna glaring lovingly at her husband. The occasion which brought together still weighed on them heavily, the sadness of it coming out sometimes in prolonged silences while they ate, but she felt a faint undercurrent of joy that she hadn't felt in years. They were doing their best to enjoy precious time they had left together by being in the arms of family.
"Tom let's leave the women to put the dishes away and take our drinks outside to the back porch." Chakotay began at the end of dinner.
"Excuse me?" B'Elanna's Klingon nature flared up.
"Come, B'Elanna. I'm being paid as a Nurse now to cater to his every wish. It takes a lot getting accustomed to people telling you what to do, after twenty three years of being the deciding voice of the Federation in the Delta Quadrant. Help me, please."
Chakotay was quietly smiling, because he knew that Kathryn figured out that he merely wanted to talk to Tom privately before they all came back together.
"All right." B'Elanna was looking at the expression on both her husband's and on her oldest friend's faces and she was finally beginning to get it.
Chakotay and Tom were silent for a moment when they reached the porch and stood looking up at the stars.
"You know it's still hard to believe that one year ago we were still among the furthest of those stars finally entering this solar system after twenty three years of wandering." Tom began.
"It's hard to believe that a 10 minute trip to the Badlands to our home base would have taken twenty three years." Chakotay replied.
Tom smiled. "A lot has happened in those years, some bad, most good. Sometimes it's hard to see the good, when the bad is sitting right in front of you." He said pointedly.
"But both the good and bad times defined us, made us into who we are. And everyone here who've waited for us, and all the people that we've journeyed with are proud of the people who've returned home." Chakotay responded.
"But what about us? Are we proud of who we've become? Because in the end, we're the only judge and jury whose ruling will ultimately matter." He continued musing.
"Sometimes, it's hard to know what that ruling is, until we look around us and see who is standing with us and is proud to call us friend." Tom finished for him.
Throughout the whole conversation both men were looking up at the stars until Tom uttered the last statement. Suddenly he turned to Chakotay.
"I know that sometimes we've haven't seen eye to eye and I'm not exactly what you would consider a perfect example of what a Starfleet officer should be. But I want you to know that I've always respected you for the man and the Officer that you are. I hope that in some small way, you're proud of me for playing my part in accomplishing our mission.
Tom spoke those directly and in all seriousness. Because time was short and this was not the time for jokes. They didn't know exactly how much time Chakotay had left and he wasn't going to waste one minute of it missing opportunities to say exactly what he felt. Just one of the lessons he had learnt in the Delta Quadrant.
Chakotay looked at Tom earnestly and Tom felt himself being stripped by the older man's eyes. He squirmed, but Chakotay did not release him.
"I'm not proud of you because of the part you've played Tom. I'm proud of you because of who you have become. A man that I can depend on and one whom I call friend. A man who has made my sister very happy."
Suddenly Chakotay gripped Tom's hand. He would have cried out, if he still weren't being pinned by Chakotay's stare.
"Love her Tom. Love her the way you always have with your whole heart with your whole soul. And thank the heavens that you are able to do that every day of your life when you wake up at her side every morning."
"I will sir. You can count on that." Tom spoke firmly and the love that he had for B'Elanna was able to make Chakotay pause. Tom saw the power it had when Chakotay turned away and he noticed even in the darkness that the older man's eyes were full. Tom turned his attention back to the stars and gave the Captain time to collect himself before they made their way back inside.
Tom woke up in the middle of the night with a start. Something was wrong. He felt around for B'Elanna in the bed and realized that she was missing. Then he heard it. B'Elanna was sitting at the window sill looking at the night sky sobbing as though her heart was breaking. He had only heard her cry like that once before, the night when the Doctor had told her on Voyager that she couldn't have any more children as a result of what happened to her on an away mission.
Tom flew off the bed and went to her side. He didn't have to ask her what was wrong. He knew what it was. As he put his arms around his wife tightly, trying to give her the courage that she would need to get through the next couple of weeks, he realized with a start that his heart was also heavy and that the wetness that he was feeling on his cheek was not only hers, but a mixture of both of their tears.