Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT.
Warnings: Angst
Mindless Babble:
Dear Raphael,
Master Splinter suggested that I do the same as your brothers and write a farewell letter to you, but I really don't know what to say. I guess I just keep waiting for you to show up and say something sarcastic. I know it's silly of me to think that, but you've become so ingrained in my life, I guess I just started to take you for granted. You always came back to me no matter what happened.
I think you would have approved of your funeral. We all drove out to the farmhouse where there's a small lake nearby. Casey, Don and Leo built a small raft while Master Splinter and I prepared … other things. Mikey disappeared the second we parked and didn't show up until nightfall, several hours later. We were getting ready to say goodbye for the last time when he shows up carrying a pack of stuff. The first things he takes out are a string of throwing stars and a leather bag that holds the remains of one of your sais. That was when I noticed a twin bag hanging from his belt He takes the other bag and gives it to Leo. Then he turns and gives Don a star with a red sash tied to it. It takes me a moment to realize that the "sash" is actually one of your extra masks. He reverently hands Master Splinter you training belt as your good belt is still with you. Lastly he turns to me and silently hands the remaining two stars to me. He opens his mouth to tell me that the other one is for Casey, but I shake my head, letting him know that I understand. He gives me a faint smile and then tunes back to his satchel. He takes out a river rock, a willow branch that has been sharpened to a point, a pine cone, a small bouquet of wildflowers, and a wild red rose. As he lays them at your feet he explains why he chose them and I am surprised by the depth of his reasoning. The stone is for you strength and stubbornness, the branch is a symbol of you temper and your willingness to bend the rules if needed be, a pine cone for your protectiveness and devotion to your family and the flowers were to represent your life being cut short. At this point I couldn't hold back the tears, but I was not alone. Mikey saved the rose for last, laying it on your damaged plastron. He said nothing, but each of us knew that it simply represented you and you wild ways.
Your brothers carried your body down to the lake where Casey was waiting with the skiff. Nothing was said as your brothers laid you down and joined Master Splinter in setting the small raft aflame. Casey pushed it out to the middle of the lake where the flames rose, lighting up the night sky. The wind picked up some of the sparks and carried them to join the stars.
I'd like to think that the wind carried your spirit as well.
April
Hey Raph,
Long time, no see, huh? I know, lame joke. I guess I just don't want anybody to worry about me. You're probably thinking 'why would they worry about you, you hot-headed nut case?' Well I guess it's because I did something stupid after your funeral. 'More stupid then usual?' Yeah. The second we hit New York again, I felt the serious need to go bust some heads. I guess I got a little carried away and your brothers had to pull my butt out of a really big mess. When Don asked me what I was thinking, getting into a fight with about 30 Purple Dragons by myself, I couldn't give him an answer. But I do know why.
I can't believe that you won't have my back anymore. You were my balance and now I can't seem to find it on my own. I don't know if I want to. I don't know how it happened or even when, but I learned to trust and depend on you. I guess I'm almost feeling betrayed that you're not here anymore. You were the brother I lost when I was growing up. And now you're gone and the only reason I don't follow is because I made you a promise to watch out for April.
Maybe we'll meet up again, someday.
Casey
My son,
Over the years I have watched you grow from a baby turtle to a full fledged shinobi. I have seen you work to hone your body as Leonardo would whet his katanas, becoming the strongest of my sons. I have watched, every day, as you struggled to control your anger and the rage that coursed through you like your own blood. From what your brothers told me, you kept your honor to your dying breath. And Raphael, my son, could not have a prouder father.
As mutants, we were forced to live in the shadows. As Ninja, we learned to use the shadows. But you were the only ninja I have ever seen to befriend the darkness and use it as a weapon. I only wish you had not felt so akin to it.
I remember reading the teachings of a great warrior who said that every living creature is made up of four things- heart and soul, mind and body. I thought about how much it seemed to fit you and your brothers. When the four of you fought as one it was Michelangelo who was the Heart, Leonardo was the Soul, Donatello was the Mind and you were the Body. Together, nothing was impossible. Now that one part is missing, I now fear that a line has been forcibly drawn.
I will make a Tsuru for you as I do with my Master every year.
Splinter