Knights Reunited
Chapter 5
With Davis' help, I stumbled into my apartment. My head was spinning and the sudden need to throw up took me over. The car ride from Haggerty's hadn't been the best experience. Davis grabbed my arm and roughly led me down the hall to my room. I heard him mutter "Jackass" as I flopped down on my bed.
"Not a jackass." I mumbled, burying my face in my pillow.
Davis sighed angrily, lifting my legs up onto the bed. "Yeah, you are. You're a one hundred percent bona fide jackass, Bosco." He left the room, making his way out into the kitchen.
The pounding in my head was almost unbearable. It seemed that every smell made me nauseous, and the smallest light hurt like hell. Even though I was drunk, the image of Faith's face and her tearful eyes had been burned into my mind. The guilt was starting to eat at me already…
Davis came back into the room, carrying a glass of water and the bucket that I kept under my kitchen sink. He put the glass down on the beside table, and the bucket down beside the bed. "If you need aspirin, you can get them yourself." He said, frustration and anger evident in his voice.
He started out of the room, but I called out to him. "Davis…I'm sorry." My voice was slightly slurred and forced.
He turned around, glaring at me. "It's not me you should be apologizing to, Bosco. You should be saying sorry to Faith…and you should be saying sorry to yourself." Not able to answer him, I once again pressed my face into my pillow. "Sleep it off…and for God's sake, keep your mouth shut next time."
Davis' footsteps disappeared down the hallway, and I soon heard the apartment door open and slam shut. I let out a breath, closing my eyes tightly against a light that wasn't there. The image of Faith still swam behind my closed eyes…and I couldn't stop the tear that snaked it's way down my cheek.
I woke with a splitting headache and taking a deep breath, I slowly raised my fingers to my temple. "God help me." I moaned, trying to massage away the incredible pressure.
As I finally opened my eyes, my gaze was turned towards the picture of Faith and I from our graduation. I'd kept it throughout our entire partnership…it sat on my bedside table, where every night I'd stared at it…Faith's smile helping me fall into peaceful dreams.
I looked over at the clock, and saw that it had only been an hour and a half since Davis had brought me home. Knowing that I needed to see Faith, I quickly pulled myself to my feet. I regretted the action, however, as my bedroom suddenly started spinning. After waiting a few minutes, I made my way into the bathroom grabbing the aspirin from my medicine cabinet. I downed two, and slowly made my way into the living room.
The coward coming out in me, I chose to phone Faith's apartment first. I deserved every insult and every humiliation that she wanted to throw at me…but I was still nervous about facing it. It rang several times, but no one answered. Hanging up, I grabbed my keys and left the apartment. At least I have a good recovery time…
As I made my way through the dark streets, my nerves kicked in. What would Faith do when I showed up at her doorstep? Yell at me? Hit me? Send me away? No matter how strange it sounds, I wouldn't care if she yelled at me, or even took a swing at me…it's her sending me away that I wouldn't be able to stand.
I soon found myself sitting outside Faith's apartment building. I climbed outta the car and made my way inside. The building was quiet, the lights in the hallways dim.
The need to throw up returned as I found myself standing outside Faith's apartment. I'd knocked on that door and been inside that apartment a million times before, and I'd never been this nervous. After taking a deep breath, I raised my hand to knock…but I couldn't.
"Come on, get a grip." I muttered to myself. How could I look her in the face after what I said to her? I leaned against the wall opposite her apartment door, and slid down to the floor, leaning my head back.
As I sat there, the confrontation at Haggerty's slunk into my mind, causing the pounding in my head to increase. At the time, I heard the words that I was saying to Faith, but I couldn't stop myself from saying them. I know that I was a total jag-off, and I know that everyone thinks I'm a total jag-off. Who could blame them? I humiliated the one person who's always been there for me…the one person, who even when I pushed her away, always pushed back…the one person who always did what was best for me, even when I didn't deserve it. My partner…my best friend.
I'll admit that I meant almost everything I said to her in my drunken state. That's how I felt! After I was shot, I went into the hospital with my partner, my beat, my car, my life was semi-normal…but I came out of the hospital without my partner, without my beat, without my car, and my life was nowhere near normal.
She'd been there for me and my Ma during the time after Mikey died…she'd been there to help with the funeral arrangements…she'd been there. But after I was released from the hospital, I felt like she wasn't there for me anymore.
Now, I know that she helped me with my therapy, my recovery, and everything that had to do with my injury. That's not what I meant. I mean that even though she was always around, I could tell that things were different….almost strained. It was as though she didn't wanna be there with me, but her conscience gave her no other choice. I was an obligation….and that feeling hurt me more than 100 bullets ever could.
I snapped my eyes open at the sound of voices coming up the stairs. Looking down the hallway, my gaze fell on Faith, Sasha and Holly. Faith's eyes narrowed at the sight of me. "What the hell are you doing here?"
I pulled myself to my feet, and shoved my hands into my pockets. "We need to talk."
Faith shook her head, and made her way into her apartment with Holly and Sasha behind her. "Close the door Holly." I heard Faith say, before Holly closed the door in my face. I ran my hand through my hair, once again leaning against the wall across from Faith's apartment. This is going well, so far.
After what seemed like hours, the apartment door opened again to reveal Holly and Sasha. Once again, I pulled myself to my feet with my hands in my pockets. Sasha turned back into the apartment. "Faith, do you wanna talk to him yet?" There was no response, but Sasha turned back to me, her eyes narrow. "She doesn't wanna see you, Bosco. Get outta here…or do I have to arrest you?"
"Well, go ahead and arrest me…cause I'm not leaving. Not until Faith and I talk."
"Bosco…just come back later. Faith doesn't wanna talk." Holly said, her eyes pleading with me to leave it alone.
I shook my head, and pushed my way past them. "I'm not leaving until you talk to me Faith." I said, as I spotted her on the couch.
She sighed, draping an arm across her eyes. "Go away Bosco."
I made my way over, sitting down on the coffee table in front of the couch. "I can't."
"You can't?" She lifted her arm, looking at me. "What? Didn't get enough insults and humiliation in at Haggerty's?"
I sighed, looking down to the floor. "Faith, I'm sorry."
"That's not gonna cut it this time." She swung her legs over the edge of the couch and stood up, starting towards the hallway to her bedroom.
"Faith." I said softly, turning on the coffee table to face her. She stopped, and kept her back to me. "Please…just hear me out?"
"I wouldn't if I were you, Faith." Sasha said from where her and Holly were sitting at the kitchen table. "He doesn't deserve you listening to him."
"Shut up, Sasha." I snapped, glaring at her. "This is none of your business."
She opened her mouth to talk back, but Holly shook her head. "Quiet, Sasha. Let them work this out."
"There is nothing to work out." Faith said, turning to face me. "Bosco told me how he feels…that's all there is to it."
"Faith, come on." I said, my voice soft. "You know that I was-"
"Drunk?" She finished, taking a step closer to me. "Yeah, Bosco I know. But what you said tonight is how you feel…that's how it's always been with you. The booze brings out the real Bosco, and what he really thinks and feels. Don't try and tell me that you didn't mean it."
"I did mean it." I said quietly, looking into her eyes. "I meant what I said about being replaced…I meant what I said about losing my one true partner to a pay check…I meant what I said about how much you mean to me."
"I mean nothing to you." she said, tears welling up in her eyes.
"Yes, you do. I just suck at showing it sometimes."
"You sure do." I heard Sasha mutter from the table.
I turned to face her, irritation evident in my voice. "You wanna stay the hell outta this?" Holly sent me an apologetic look before whispering something to Sasha.
"So you think saying that you suck at showing your feelings is gonna make everything better?"
I shook my head. "I know that it won't make everything better…but I was hoping it would be a good start."
"You always do this." She said quietly. "You always mess up, then expect a simple apology to erase it."
"Faith, nothing can erase what I said-"
"Your right…nothing can." She whispered, wiping at a tear. "You have no consideration for other people's feelings, Bosco. You only care about how your actions effect you." Her voice was getting louder, but I didn't dare interrupt her…I deserved what she was saying. "When I was promoted you didn't lose your best friend…you didn't lose your partner. I've always been here Bosco…I never left."
I nodded. "I know you didn't leave, but I still felt as though I lost you."
"What are you talking about?" She asked, crossing her arms across her chest.
I looked down to the floor before raising my eyes back to Faith. "All of a sudden, you didn't need me anymore. I felt as though everything we'd been through…the shootings, the fights, the same beat and the same car for 14 years…I felt like that didn't matter to you anymore." My voice cracked as I finished, and out of embarrassment I lowered my gaze to the floor.
"You never even gave me a chance to be your friend, Bosco." She said, her voice also cracking. "You had your mind made up about my promotion, my feelings and our partnership the day you were released from the hospital."
"I'm a stubborn ass, Faith…you know that." I said, lifting my head to look at her again.
"Yeah." She said, quietly. "I know that."
I bobbed my head, swallowing hard. "I'm really sorry, Faith."
She sniffled, glancing at Sasha and Holly in the kitchen. "You humiliated me in front of everyone, Bosco. I'm gonna need some time…ok?"
"Take all the time you need." I said softly, daring to give her a small smile. She didn't return it…
"Come on, Sasha." Holly said, standing from her chair. "I think we can go now." Sasha nodded, and also stood from her chair.
Holly suddenly reached out and grabbed the table, with one hand on her stomach. "You ok?" Sasha asked, reaching out and putting a hand under Holly's arm.
"I…I…think-" Holly's eyes went wide as she looked down to the floor. "I think my water just broke."
"Are you sure?" Faith asked, walking out into the kitchen. I stood from the coffee table, made my way over and leaned against the kitchen door frame.
Holly nodded. "Yeah…yeah, I'm pretty sure."
"Hospital?" I asked, looking at Faith.
"Yes, Bosco…hospital. She's not giving birth in my kitchen."
"Can you walk?" Sasha asked, tucking a strand of hair behind Holly's ear.
"I don't know."
"Well, let's not find out." I walked into the kitchen, and stood beside Holly. "I'll carry you down to the car."
Holly shook her head. "No, I'm ok." She suddenly scrunched up her face, letting out a laboured breath.
"No, your not." Sasha said, looking at me. "Let Bosco carry you."
"Put your arm around my neck." I said softly, placing my hand on her back.
Holly reached up with her left hand and placed it around my neck. "You ready?" I asked, looking at her. She closed her eyes and nodded. I reached down, and effortlessly scooped her up into my arms. "This ok?"
"Yeah, just hurry." She said, her eyes still closed.
With Sasha leading the way, we made our way outta the kitchen and through the front door.
After gently laying Holly down in the backseat of my car, I ran around and slid in behind the wheel. Sasha was sitting the in back, with Holly's head lying in her lap. "Your ok." She said soothingly, stroking Holly's hair.
"You think this old rust bucket can get us there fast enough?" Faith asked, glancing at me.
Sighing, I turned to look at her. "You wanna walk?"
"Can we just go!" Sasha shouted from the backseat. "Save the bickering for when we're at the hospital."
I put the car into gear, and peeled away from the curb. "Just breath, Holly." Faith said, turning in her seat.
I looked into my rear-view mirror and watched as Sasha and Holly started the breathing exercises. "Someone needs to call Carlos." I said, making a right turn onto Arthur. "Anyone got a cell-phone?"
Faith shook her head. "I didn't even think-"
"Mine's in the glove-box." I said, as I ran a red-light. "Call, and tell him to meet us at Mercy."
She nodded, and looked back at Holly. "What's Carlos' cell number, Hol?"
Holly winced, then took a deep breath. "555-9852"
As Faith got Carlos on the phone, I continued weaving my way through the late-night traffic. It never failed to amaze me that when you need to get somewhere in a hurry, everyone drives that much slower. I sighed angrily as I tried to pass a slow cab. "Doesn't rush hour in this city ever end! It's almost 1:30 in the morning for god's sake!"
"It's New York, Bosco." Sasha said from the backseat. "You know, the city that never sleeps?"
"Who cares about sleeping?" I said, laying on the horn. "Just get the hell outta my way."
Faith closed the cell phone. "He says that he and Davis are gonna meet us there." I nodded, running another light. "Bosco, do you have your badge?"
"Why?"
"Well, if you run another light…you might need it."
"I'd give my right arm for a siren right now." I said, taking a left turn sharp and fast.
Faith braced herself against the dash, her eyes widening. "Bosco slow the hell down!"
Holly suddenly gave a loud scream from the backseat. I glanced at her in my mirror and pounded on the accelerator again. "I don't think slowing down is the most productive thing to do, Faith."
"Neither is getting killed."
"Look, you know how you said you didn't want her giving birth in your kitchen?" I paused, glancing at Faith. "Well, I definitely don't want her giving birth in my car."
I soon slammed on the breaks outside of Mercy's ER, and jumped outta the car to carry Holly inside. "You alright?" I asked, as I scooped her up again. She nodded, and I took off towards the ER doors.
Proctor was standing behind the front desk, and her eyes went wide at the sight of Holly in my arms. She ran around the desk and motioned for me to follow. "Trauma 3, Bosco."
"You seen Carlos or Davis?" I asked, following Proctor down a short hallway.
"They're not here yet." She opened the door to Trauma 3, and motioned towards the bed. "Put her down there."
I gently put Holly down, and brushed the hair from her face. "Thank you, Bosco." She said, giving me a small smile.
I smiled in return. "No problem. Your ok now, alright?" She nodded, and I winked at her as I turned and made my way back out into the ER.
I approached Sasha and Faith, who were standing by the front desk. "She ok?" Sasha asked, looking at me.
"Yeah, she's ok. They're getting her settled in now." I glanced around the crowded ER, looking for some sign of Carlos or Davis. "No sign of the Dad yet?"
Sasha shook her head. "Not yet."
"He'll be a basket case when he gets here." I said, not able to hold in a grin at the thought of Carlos playing the role of nervous, overly-expectant dad. Faith turned to me, narrowing her eyes slightly. "What's that look for?" I asked, looking at her.
"You'll be like that one day to, Bosco."
I scoffed. "With my track record? I don't think so."
"Don't you want kids one day?" Sasha asked, smiling.
"I'd like kids one day, sure. Just…gotta find the right girl, that's all."
At that moment Carlos, Davis, Lieu, Brendan and Grace burst into the ER. They made their way over, Carlos stopping beside me. "Where is she?" He asked, his eyes wide. He was also very pale.
"In Trauma 3." Faith said, looking at him with a smile. "Come on, let's all head to the waiting room down the hall."
I started to walk with them, but I felt a hand clamp around my arm. I turned and came face to face with Lieu. "I wanna talk to you." He said, his voice low.
"Right now?"
He nodded. "Right now. Lounge." Lieu turned and started walking towards the nurse's lounge, and I had no choice but to follow.
He pushed the door open, and we made our way into the empty room. Lieu motioned to one of the large chairs. "Sit down, Bosco."
I shook my head. "Thank you sir, but I'm fine-"
"Sit…down." He said, looking at me with burning eyes. I swallowed hard, and quickly sat down. Lieu sighed, and looked at me while rubbing his chin. "I want an explanation for your behaviour tonight at Haggerty's."
"Boss-"
"No excuses, Bosco." Lieu said, pointing at me. "Don't give me an excuse."
I leaned forward in my chair, resting my forearms on my knees. "Sir…I wasn't thinking, I'd had too much to drink-"
"That's an excuse!"
"Well, it's the truth." I said quietly, looking into the older man's face. "I know that it's an excuse…and I know that there's no excuse for how I acted…but it's the truth."
"Have you apologized to Faith?"
I nodded. "I went to her apartment, and we talked. I don't think I'm forgiven yet, though."
"You don't deserve to be forgiven at all." Lieu said, sitting in the chair across from me. "What you said to her tonight was horrible. Not to mention you said those things to her in front of the people that she considers her friends."
"I know."
"Do you?" He asked, leaning forward in his chair. "You need to ask yourself how you would feel if she humiliated you like that in front of everyone."
I stood from the chair, and sighed. "I have thought about it, boss."
"And what would you do?"
I turned to face Lieu, glancing around the room. "I'd probably feel the same way she does. Probably even worse…than she does."
Lieu nodded quickly. "One thing I've never understood about the partnership that you and Faith had, was why she always forgave you…why she always gave you second chances."
"Thanks a lot, boss."
"Well, what do you expect?" He said loudly. "I found out very quickly when you joined the 55 that you rarely think before you speak, and that you rarely think of how your actions and words effect the people around you."
"I wasn't like that all the time, Lieu."
"Most of the time you were, Bosco. Especially with Faith."
I sighed and shoved my hands into my pockets. "I'm trying to make up for it, boss. I wanna make up for it."
"Then cross your fingers and hope that you haven't over-stepped that invisible line with Faith for the last time, Bosco."
"What invisible line is that?"
Lieu smiled slightly. "The invisible line that dictates when enough is enough." He stood from his chair, and placed a hand on my shoulder. "Start thinking about what you say before you say it, Bosco. It'll save a lot of people a lot of pain."
I watched as Lieu made his way out of the room, leaving me alone in the quiet lounge. I plunkered down in one of the chairs, and rested my face in my hands. Man, I have a headache…