Attack of the Killer Fries
It was just past midnight when Reno and Elena arived at Midgar Burger. They had gotten lost in the woods and Reno had to help Elena out of her clothes... Wait, there are no woods in Midgar! (Reno turns towards the screen and blushes, grinning wildly with one eyebrow raised.) They spent most of the night finding all of their clothes and trying to figure out whose belonged to who, and getting them back on. Somehow Elena ended up wearing Reno's boxers, and, well, he wouldn't say if he had found her thong or not. Anyway, after they found their way out of the woods, they were both starving.
About the same time they had exited the woods, Rufus had came out of the closet, to say. He was feeling like getting a cheeseburger, but the harsh, cold air of the night forced him to put on his usual daily outfit of thermal underwear, sweats, trousers, bullet-proof vest, sweater, jacket, and overcoat. He was never quite sure why he had to wear so much clothing, but it just didn't feel right anymore to leave everything in the closet when he left. So, he left his mansion and got onto his quad, destined for food. Four-bying through town, he saw the most distubing site. Scarlet and Cloud, standing by the side of the road waving obscene and suggestive signs. That wasn't the disturbing part. The worst was that Cloud was dressed like a... Scarlet. Upon seeing that, he turned sharply towards the other way, only to see Reno and Elena coming out of the woods. He parked his quad and followed them, wondering why they were covered in what appeared to be white paint and pine needles.
Anyway, Reno and Elena ordered their food at the bar (Yes, Midgar Burger has a full bar, along with the resteraunt) and Rufus took a seat at a corner booth, close enough to hear their conversation but far enoguh away they didn't recognize him. To Rufus's surprise, Reno hugged his beer mug and started singing. "Beer, beer, glorious beer, I want more beer, put it right here! Beer, beer, Ice cold beer, if you'd please, come on now, don't you tease. Hurry up, no more lies, come on now and gimme some fries!" Reno went to put his arm around Elena and fell off his stool. Elena laughed and threw some fries at him, and he screamed. "The fries! They're attacking me! They're gonna kill me!" Elena laughed harder, knocking their beers onto the floor on accident and throwing more fries at him. This provoked Reno to stage a full out act, at which he rolled around on the floor, acting like the lard-saturated potato sticks were injuring him.
Rufus stared at Reno through the bottom a cheeseburger wrapper, fully saturated with mayonaise to the point of being as clear as a window. Whatever the redeaded turk had in mind was beyond Rufus at this point, as he ordered his third bacon and chili triplestack cheeseburger.
Elena, not sure what to think anymore, if she had known in the first place, went over and sat down next to Rufus and started eating his fries. "HEY," he objected, pulling his food towards himself. "HEY," Elena said yelled back, obviously enibriated, and smacked his ice tea off the table and stormed off. Now Rufus had no idea what to think, as Elena walked back over to help Reno up.
Just then Squall Leonheart, with Yuna on one arm, Rikku on the other, and Paine not too far behind, walked in the door. Now, Rufus was really confused, he knew these people weren't from his game. It would be a good trade-off though, he thought to himself. Squall would make a good Turk, and Reno could have the girls... Rufus smirked to himself, he just figured out how to get rid of Reno.
That was, until Squall jumped up onto the kareoke stage and started singing "Ring of Fire," with the girls effectively casting Fire 3 All on everyone.
Rufus gave up and left after his cheeseburger burst into flames. He decided it would be better to let Reno drink on the job while using a blowtorch than replace him with that... "What is a Squall, anyway," Rufus asked Reno as he and Elena helped him out. Reno thought for a moment. "A very big wind," Reno replied, somewhat miffed. Elena giggled. "It's a fart! Squall is a..." Elena ran off and hurled into the hedges along the building, obviously having drank too much. Rufus joined her momentarily, leaving Reno sitting in the middle of the parking lot, laughing like a loon.
"Hey! I just thought of something, guys! Guys""
"Hmm. And I thought I was the weird one..."
A/N Yeah, it's finished. Sorry it took so long, but alot of stuff keeps coming up, and I'm away from my computer far too much.