Notes: This little piece was written especially for the "Word a month" challenge issued by L.E McMurray on the Hopeless Romantics Anon group (September's word was "friendship"). So I have to thank two wonderful people this time: L. E – for having the idea, posting the challenge and encouraging me to write this, and Stonedtoad – for the beta and for something else: for sending me a chain letter with a "Real friend test" at the exact moment when I was looking for ideas to compose this – it served as a major source of inspiration!
Russia. He was going to Russia, assigned as the supervisor of the naqahdah generator program. And man, that really sucked! And why the hell do the Russians have such a program? Because the Air Force was willing to give so much in exchange of the life on a single man… alien, that is. Hell, they were going to take huge risks for it! Including the very gate blowing up! And all this… for nothing. Just to try and save someone who they didn't even know for sure if lived!
He wondered if it had worked. He did theorise the possible explosion of the DHD and the Stargate, but maybe he was wrong and Major Carter was right in her fantasies. And, strangely enough, this time Rodney wished he were wrong. Because if he had been right, by now everyone at the SGC would have a major disappointment and all their hard work would have been in vain…
Hard work, yes, and motivated hard working. For what? For something Rodney didn't completely understand: for saving… a friend.
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"You're guessing wildly, like you always do," he had said, annoyed by her way of looking at the problem. Her theories were mere suppositions; her good scientific thinking was influenced by personal emotions. 'Maybe' here, 'somehow', there. She wished there was a way, and she built her arguments on that desire. Sure, he could see her point, but… "Maybe" he continued, " you could find a way to fool the Gate into reintegrating whatever it has stored in memory. But I say you won't like what comes out."
"Well, we'll see." There was a certain unexplainable hope in her statement and it didn't escape the other astrophysicist. If he had known SG1, he would have said that her willingness to formulate almost impossible, heart-influenced theories was something she gained by spending too much time with Daniel…
"Major, Teal'c is dead. And this argument is a waste of time because the Pentagon is going to order Hammond to resume operations in what, 16 hours." McKay brutally said, deliberately.
>>>>>>>>>>
Yeah, he had wanted to hurt her. He criticised her "full of flaws" achievements, didn't give any credit to her theories and offended her as much as he could, and all that because… he had to admit… he was simply jealous. And because, in this case, he didn't understand her determination and it pissed the hell out of him.
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"Her judgement is being clouded by her personal feelings. Teal'c is toast, he's history."
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Why couldn't they just admit it! They didn't want to, at least until there was no chance left at all. He'd seen the look on her face on hearing that, and also seen her endeavour to find something so as to help the captive Jaffa.
Not only Carter, but the others as well. He had overheard the phone dialogue between her and Jackson. The man was struggling as much as she was, trying to help on the diplomatic field. O'Neill as well, was doing everything in his power, including a not-so-pleasant chat with a Goa'uld and working together with Maybourne. Of course McKay wasn't informed on the rocky nature of the relationship between the two colonels, but it was obvious Jack didn't take much delight in the cooperation…
But why? Why were they all so focused about doing anything to get Teal'c back? Rodney knew that there was something under their stubbornness not to give up: their friendship with the alien.
Friendship. Big word, really. Type of interpersonal relationship found among individuals who seek out each other's company and exhibit mutually helping behavior. Friends care. They are there for one another, listen, offer comfort, help and ultimatly they'll give their own life for their true friend. For Jack, Daniel, Sam and Teal'c, friendship meant a lot of things: from kicking Goa'uld ass together and saving the world to comforting one another and simply being there, from fighting together and watching one another's six, to eating pizza and talking things over, living and ocasionally dying togheter.
Again, Rodney didn't have any idea of SG1's teamwork or their personal involvement in their job. If he had, he would know about the things the four people had gone together through the years, about the beginning of their relationship, about the good times and the bad, about crisis and resolution. Yet, Rodney didn't knew any of it.
But he wasn't blind. He knew friendship when he saw it. Although each of the three was working separately, they were a team because of their constant worrying about what the others have managed to do and the common goal: saving another friend. And if that wasn't true friendship, he wasn't Rodney McKay, Ph.D, the newly assigned head of the Russian naquadah generator program!
Had he ever shared such a relationship with anyone? Did he ever have such a friend? Yeah, sure he did, if "friendship" means arguing about astrophysics at a cup of coffee… But if "friendship" meant feeling like home together, discussing intimate problems, making personal confidences, fighting and than calling back, not only laughing, but also crying together… if this was friendship, than… the answer was "no".
There were different levels of friendship, and Rodney had to acknowledge the one between the members of SG1 was a very high one. He never had such friends, but he wished he had. Being really honest, he admitted that his behaviour was caused by this, by the realisation that the four completely different people had such a rare relationship, while he didn't; he was even more jealous on that than he was about Carter's brilliancy…
But who knows? His assignment to Russia wasn't a permanent one. Maybe they'll need him and he'll be given a much more important mission. And if so… Maybe someday he'll be part of a family-like team, maybe he'll trust some people with his life and find true friendship…
THE END