Once upon a time, there was a lovely black bowler hat. It had stayed in it's box, unused for years in a dusty attic, until one day, it was unearthed by an eccentric girl. She was allowed to keep it, and made great use of it from that day forward. It went wonderfully with pinstripes, or other vintage motifs, but that's really not important to our story.

Upon the coming of curiosity and some moderate boredom, this girl, who also happened to be a writer and enthusiast of bizzare fan fiction, wrote a short list of characters from the television show, Fullmetal Alchemist, which she tore into squares, and mixed up lotto style within the fashionable bowler. She then proceeded to draw two slips at a time, and record the combinations of characters in her beat up notebook, and consequently was very amused.

Because this was so much fun, she told her friends about it. They were both spazztastic fangirls as well, and so were elated to join in the game. They all had great fun drawing the names together, and they added seperately, a Fruits Basket section, and because the other two were such rabidly insane Buffy fangirls, a Buffy drawing was added. They spent great loads of time drawing pairings and theorizing how they would work out, and even drew crossover pairings which made an eerie amount of sense.

It was from this great hyper congregation induced fun, that our fashionable fangirl decided that she really liked these so-called 'crack pairings', and thus decided to proceed in writing fan fiction for them.

She sat in her spinny chair, having had entertained herself for a good fifteen minutes by twirling in circles, and gathering writing inspiration, when an odd incident happened. Edward Elric walked into her room with a scowl upon his face.

"What's the matter?" She asked, boredly, as though she was used to two dimensional characters moseying into her room, which she most certainly was not.

"You're planning to pair me with wierd people. I resent that." He pouted, folding his arms.

"Too bad you got no choice, Chibi-Chan," She responded with a wink. Said Chibi attempted to make a death charge at her, but at that second she conveniently happened to have a mallet, seeing as she was the author in this situation, and thus was all-powerful. It does a lot for the ego, you see.

"Just calm down, Edward. You're really only here for the sake of making this technically a fan fiction, and this entire bit right here is nothing more than a clever guise for an author's note, which I am terribly bored of writing, and they're not supposed to be posted as individual chapters. I'm just beating the system. Like always. This is technically not an author's note and thus, I rebel." She grinned, clearly very proud of herself.

"You are so wierd. This is more self-glorifying than a Mary-Sue." Edward slunk back on a beanbag chair and rubbed the bump on his head.

"Hey, at least I'm strictly proffessional with you. Not like I'd want to with you anyway. Envy on the other hand- ..."

(Insert akward pause here)

"-ahem. Did I just say that out loud?" She averted her gaze with a quick cough.

"Ha! Toby has fantasies about palm trees!" The pint sized alchemist pointed and mocked openly.

"Outta my room, Elric, or I'm pairing you with Giles!"

"Eep!" The alchemist skittered out the door immediately, and the authoress relaxed once again, cracked her knuckles, and began typing the first random pairing drabble.

"This is gonna be fun..."

(/Longest.Author'sNote.Ever!)