Chapter 7: The Queen
After the dinner hour there were no more classes. Jubilee had been unable to eat much at dinner; and Logan, sitting at the knights' table, had not so much as glanced at her. Sick with fear, she excused herself as soon as she could, and rushed off to the barracks. There she grabbed a fresh uniform and changed in the privies, taking the time to tighten the wrapping around her chest. Her breasts were hurting, a throbbing ache that was just annoying enough to distract her but not enough to really hurt. She reflected grimly that she had better find an hour alone, and soon, so she could unbind her chest; if she didn't she might permanently injure her breasts.
Then she caught herself and laughed a little hysterically. It will be a moot point after tonight anyway, she thought wildly. The minute the Queen sees the wrappings she'll know who, and what, I really am. I'll be killed for impersonating a man. The only thing I should be thinking about right now is whether I'll be beheaded or gibbeted! Neither option of which was especially agreeable to her, but Jubilee decided she'd rather be beheaded than gibbeted. She'd seen a gibbet once; hanging outside a city wall had been an iron cage barely large enough for the person who had once been in it to stand. Her father had explained that the person was stripped and put into the gibbet alive, and the cage hung. The occupant usually expired after three or four days, of thirst and hunger; but the body was left in the cage until the crows had picked the bones clean. Jubilee shuddered to think of her body hanging there.
With these hysterical thoughts swirling around in her head, she returned to the barracks, only to find a maid dressed in fine linen waiting for her. "Her Majesty sent me to escort you to her bower," the maid said, batting her eyelashes. Jubilee thought again, rather hysterically, that the maid would probably be horrified when she found out that she had tried to flirt with another woman!
She followed the maid nervously through a maze of corridors, which started drab and got gradually finer the closer they got to Their Majesties' chambers. Several times her nerve almost failed her, and she would have turned and run if she hadn't been lost after the first set of steps. The maid finally stopped in front of a gilded door, tapped lightly on it, then entered at an almost-inaudible command from the other side. Jubilee sucked in a breath as she saw rich cloth-of-gold hangings, draperies, and furniture around the huge, brightly lit room.
"Ah. Come on in…Lee, is that it? Sir Logan informs me that that is your name." Jubilee crossed the room and crumpled gracelessly to her knees in front of the Queen, pressing her lips to the ring. "Thank you, Mary, you may go." The Queen dismissed the maid. Jubilee saw the astonished glance the maid shot at her, but the Queen remained unperturbed. "Yes, Your Majesty," She bowed and left, closing the door.
Queen Renee got up, slipped softly across the room, and pressed her ear to the door. After a moment, she laughed softly and resumed her seat. "Please, make yourself comfortable, my dear," she said, indicating a fat velvet-covered pillow on the floor at her feet. "And have a cup of wine. Is there anything else on this tray you might wish to sample?" It was almost a royal command. Jubilee took the cup of wine the Queen held out to her, and accepted a roll of white bread. The Queen took the same, and she sipped her cup for a while, looking at Jubilee. Jubilee, disconcerted by that steady gaze, could barely bring her cup to her lips.
The Queen laughed, suddenly. "I am sure you are wondering right about now whether I am the type of tyrant to have you gibbeted. Let me set your mind at rest, dear girl, I shall do no such thing. Your secret is safe with me. Please, relax. And do remove that tight binding around your chest; it's so tight you must be having problems breathing. It is certainly making me uncomfortable just looking at it."
The cup fell from Jubilee's hand. Fortunately, she was sitting on the velvet pillow, and the cup didn't have far to fall to the floor, or it would surely have broken. "I-I don't know what Y-Your Majesty is speaking of," she stammered.
The Queen shook her head and leaned forward. "You walk like a boy. Your hair is cut short like a boy. But a woman knows, my dear. As soon as I saw you begin that charming little dance I knew. You need not pretend with me."
Jubilee sighed. "Who else knows?" she whispered, afraid to look up lest she see disapproval. Or anger, in the Queen's eyes.
The Queen leaned back. "Only I, my dear. Though I think perhaps your mentor may suspect; he was looking rather peculiar. And he knows that my tastes for company in the bed extend only to my husband, and not to little boys. I will not betray you, my dear; but I would like a question answered. Why?"
Jubilee braced herself. "My town lies on the edge of Duke Gilbert's lands," she said tonelessly. "The Duke was unhappy that the town was not tithing properly. He sent armed men to destroy the town. They burned everything. They even attacked the caravan of traveling entertainers and destroyed all of them."
"And you were one of those entertainers. It was not your town at all, you and your family just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time."
"I didn't say that, Your Majesty," Jubilee said quietly.
"No, of course not." The tone of the Queen's voice was very matter-of-factly, but Jubilee knew that the Queen had deduced everything. "And so you disguised yourself as a boy, and will seek revenge upon the man who killed your parents."
Jubilee nodded.
The queen leaned forward. "My dear, if you keep that wrapped that tightly all the time you may permanently injure yourself." Jubilee sighed and slid her hands up under her shirt from behind. Her hands found the end where it was tucked against her skin, and she gasped a huge breath of relief as the binding loosened. She carefully unwound it, wrinkling her nose from the smell of the sweat-soaked cloth.
"Here." The Queen rose and rummaged through a drawer, coming up with a band of silk.
Jubilee stared at it. "Your Majesty…"
"It was mine," the Queen said. "When I was a little girl on my father's estates I often disguised myself as a boy and ran off. I put it aside when I married the King, because even the band would not have prevented everyone from knowing who I was. My face was too well known. There is a strip of stretchy boar's sinew in the middle of it, which will keep the breasts flat but not restrict the breathing, or hamper movement." Jubilee took the band of silk numbly, and the Queen turned around. Jubilee suddenly realized she was supposed to put it on, and hastily pulled her tunic off to slip the breast band on. As she pulled her tunic back over her head, the Queen turned back around.
"It is much more comfortable, is it not?" Jubilee took a deep, experimental breath, and nodded. It was. "There will be no lumps to show under the shirts you wear. Now, dear, have you figured out what you will do about your woman's times?"
Jubilee gasped. She had not thought of that.
The Queen smiled and dug into the drawer again. "I am past childbearing age, so I do not need these. Take them. Use them. I daresay you could slip down to the river to wash them at night, when there is no one else around."
"Your Majesty, I cannot thank you enough…" Jubilee started to stammer.
"Do not thank me," The Queen held up a hand. "I only wish I were you. To have the freedom to move about, be free, instead of being confined here to my bower and only allowed to move when I have a gaggle of giggling servants about me…" she sighed. "Let me tell you something, my dear. I bear no love for Duke Gilbert. He tormented me mercilessly when I was a girl; he set my hair on fire once. Should it come to a duel between you and him, my hopes will be on you. Learn your lessons well, so that you can defeat him when it comes down to you and him." She tilted her head. "What is your name?"
"Jubilee."
The Queen smiled. "An unusual name for an unusual girl. My dear, will you accept a gift from me?"
"Your Majesty, you have given me far too much already…"
The Queen rose and went to an ornately carved wooden box on a dressing-table top. She came back with a small object in her hand, and held it out. Jubilee blindly held out a hand, palm up, and something small and cool fell into it. She looked at the object; and saw a small gold ring, set with a tiny ruby chip and engraved with butterflies. "The butterflies are my personal symbol," she said soberly. "It also marks you as someone under my personal protection. Should anyone discover your identity, show the ring as a last resort and tell them you are under the Queen's protection. The only one who can override that protection is the King; and he can only do so after consulting me first."
"But…if I should be discovered…"
"Tell them you are one of my spies. Because you are. Jubilee, there is a traitor in this court, somewhere; the reason this war with Gallas has dragged on for as long as it has is because someone in this court gives him information as to our knights' locations and deployment. Our knights have been slaughtered. It cannot go on. I need to know who has been passing on information from this court to Gallas; and for that I need ears everywhere. Every maid and serving girl in the castle is my spy; but there are places where men can go and women cannot. No one pays attention to squires and pages; you are in a position to overhear much. I need your ears."
Jubilee licked dry lips. "I will be your ears, Your Majesty."
"Good. Then our business here is settled. If anyone asks, say only that I wished some entertainment, and your acrobatics amused me. This way I have an excuse to call you back up here at intervals to tell me anything of use you may have heard."
Jubilee blinked. The Queen had everything covered. She had an excuse for everything, a story for every eventuality. She bowed, still dazed, and when she came out of that daze she found herself following the same maid back down to the trainees' quarters.
The news was all over the trainees' quarters, and Jubilee was deluged with a barrage of questions when she walked back in. Still in shock, she could only sit and stare stupidly at them, until her muddled brain finally kicked in and she truly heard the voices of her training mates asking her questions.
"Lee, what did she look like?" "Are you in trouble?" "What did she call you for?" "Was the King there?" "Did you see the King?" Jubilee finally held up her hand for silence, and said, in a rather strained voice, "The Queen saw me practicing my acrobatics earlier, and she summoned me to perform for her when she got bored this evening. No, I didn't see the King, he's probably got better things to do than watch silly acrobatics. I'm awfully tired," and she sighed and lay back on her bed, fully clothed, and fell asleep.
Logan lay awake in the darkness of his room, staring at the ceiling.
The only reason he'd gone out riding with the King and the Queen that day was because Allan, one of the King's regular knights, had been ill and had asked Logan to substitute for him. Logan had agreed.
Now he wished he hadn't.
Damn that boy! Logan turned over on his side and stared out the window, which he'd unshuttered so he could see the stars in the small slice of sky. Looking at them usually soothed his thoughts so he could fall asleep. Not this time, though.
Lee. Lee was the problem. The boy…why had he been born a boy? Why? Logan groaned to himself. He'd never seen such an appealing sight, that slim body turning somersaults in the air…but why did Lee have to be a boy? He would have made a beautiful girl…a girl Logan could court, and marry. He'd never felt such a strong attraction for anyone else before…but now he was feeling this attraction for his own squire, and to his mind, at least, that was wrong. He knew it was done a great deal of the time; many of the squires and knights had a relationship that was far more personal than what their titles entailed, but Logan had never been one for those kinds of relationships. He wanted a girl in his bed, not…
He shuddered and sat up. He had to nip this in the bud, and now, before it got out of hand. He would tell the squiremaster that he had changed his mind, that he was releasing Lee from his service and the boy was free to find another knight. He pulled his boots on, pulled his tunic over his head, and left his room.
He ran into another knight, Julian, on his way down the hall. Logan frowned. Maybe…Julian's squire had made knighthood the year before, and Julian hadn't picked anyone else yet. Maybe he'd take Logan's little pain in the butt? "Hey, Julian," he said aloud, hurrying to catch up with the older knight.
The man turned and saw Logan. Logan smiled back. "I was wonderin'," he said as he fell into step beside Julian. "You don't got a squire right now, do ya?"
Julian stopped, stared at Logan for a minute, and then threw back his head and laughed. "We were wondering when you were going to get around to doing this," he said finally, wiping his streaming eyes. "We knew you didn't have an appetite for pretty boys; we were wagering on how soon it would take you to approach one of us about taking the little guy off your hands."
"Wagering?" Logan's eyes narrowed.
Julian laughed at him again and threw an arm around Logan's shoulders. "We've all noticed how pretty your boy is," he said. "And me, or any one of my friends, would be happy to take him off your hands. Gregory has been wondering when you'd get around to calling the trainee up here in the evenings. But maybe you should ask someone else."
"Ask who?"
"The Queen. You did know that she'd called your squire up to her personal chambers this evening, right? If she's going to make the boy her little toy, perhaps you should ask her before you assign the boy to someone else."
Logan's jaw dropped. He'd heard the King tell Lee to report to the Queen, but the request hadn't sunk into his mind at the moment. Without another word to Julian, he spun and headed for the Queen's room.
He tapped on the door, suddenly hesitant. She might refuse him an audience, it was rather late, after all…but even as he thought that, he heard soft voices from the other side of the door. Queen Renee was up, then; and at least one of her maids. Good. He tapped lightly on the door.
The maid pulled it open a few minutes later. "Yes?" she said, batting her eyelashes at Logan. Logan ignored the silly fluttering, and said, "I would like to speak with the Queen."
"Who is it, Mary?" came Rene's voice from inside the room.
The maid closed the door partially and said, "It's Sir Logan, Your Majesty. He requests a word with you."
"By all means, let him enter." The Queen was sitting on a plush, comfortable chair working with some piece of embroidery when Logan came in. He crossed the room and dropped to one knee quickly, kissing the royal signet on the hand outstretched to him.
Renee smiled. "Fair evening to you, Sir Logan. Although I must confess to some curiosity as to what was so important that it couldn't wait until tomorrow."
Logan flushed as he stood. "I was checkin' with some o' the other knights ta see if any of 'em wanted ta have my boy, Lee," he said. "An' Julian reminded me that you'd asked the boy up here earlier, an' he suggested that I check with ya before I reassigned the boy."
"Lee," The queen dropped her embroidery frame. "You are talking about Lee." Logan nodded.
The Queen's face assumed a neutral expression. "And why would you want to reassign the trainee?"
Logan sighed. "I'm…not sure he's the right one for me, Your Majesty," he said. "I'm not sure the boy wouldn't be happier with someone who might be a little more…dependent…on him."
The Queen turned to look at him. "Sir Logan."
"Yes, Your Majesty?" He shifted position, suddenly disconcerted by her direct gaze.
"Your squire will remain your squire. You will not reassign him to any other knight in this castle, do you understand? That is a royal order. If you disobey it, I will have you flogged."
Logan's jaw dropped. The Queen was staring at him with a hard, measuring glance, and there was absolutely no mistaking the hard edge to her voice. He was shaken. The Queen was such a gentle soul, and to his knowledge she'd never ordered anyone flogged before. But there was no mistaking the tone of her voice now. She meant what she said, and she would carry it out. "Your Majesty…" he said somewhat weakly. "I don't think you understand…The boy's attractive, in a way I don't, can't, appreciate. Julian is better capable of…"
"Stop right there," the Queen held up a hand. "What makes you think your trainee wants that kind of appreciation?"
Logan was struck speechless for the second time in as many minutes. "Did you think that perhaps your trainee likes you because you don't expect that kind of attention? Let me tell you something, Sir Logan. I invited your trainee up here to amuse me, but I learned some things about him too. He is not who you think he is. If you reassign him to another knight he will die. You are the only person who can partner that young squire. Therefore, I am ordering you not to reassign the boy to anyone else. He has a personal quest that needs to be fulfilled, and only you can keep him safe until that quest is completed."
Logan said tentatively, "Your Majesty…may I ask…?"
"I will not tell you, no," the Queen said. "It is not my secret to tell. And I would suggest that you not ask your squire about it either. He will tell you when the time is right."