Consequences
By Neurotica
Fifteen
A week after he had awakened for the first time, Remus woke again, and this time he was able to keep consciousness for longer than ten minutes. At first, he was surprised to find Sirius asleep in a chair beside his bed; later he found out that the only reason Sirius had left the hospital wing since his arrival was to shower and eat, and even that was rare.
Remus, once Pomfrey was done forcing twelve different potions down his throat, was quite interested in how he had come to be at Hogwarts. The Beauxbatons Headmistress, Madame Maxime, had found him on the border of Spain as she was traveling to visit a cousin. He couldn't explain how he'd gotten to Spain; the last thing he clearly remembered was stumbling on the outskirts of Paris, hiding from Lucius Malfoy after the full moon.
He inquired almost immediately about what had been happening during his absence, and Sirius was very reluctant to answer. Remus merely raised an eyebrow, staring his best friend down, watching him shift uncomfortably in his chair, until he finally answered. By the time Sirius had finished about the night he and Emmeline disappeared, Remus had heard more than enough. But Sirius had gone on to tell him every detail of the last few months.
"Percy..." Remus said quietly, sitting up in his bed. "Percy Weasley?"
"You know another Percy?" Sirius asked flatly. "Anyway, Molly's crushed obviously. None of us can look her in the eye anymore, not after Kingsley and I took her baby boy to Azkaban."
Remus nodded, reaching over slowly, almost painfully, for his goblet of water. Sirius handed it to him. "Thanks," he said hoarsely, taking a sip. "You're positive he's a Death Eater? There can't have been a mistake?"
Sirius rolled his eyes. "Don't you think I, of all people at the Ministry, would be the one to make sure there's no doubt about something like that?"
Remus tried to smirk. "I suppose. He has the Mark, then?"
"According to Kingsley, yes, in all its blackened, skullish glory," Sirius said lightly.
Remus nodded. "And our young charge? How's Harry doing?"
Suddenly, Sirius looked more uncomfortable, and even sad, than he had before. "Good question," he said quietly, looking at the floor. "He's not telling me much these days, so I'm not quite sure."
"Do I even want to know?" Remus groaned. Whether he wanted to hear it or not, Sirius told him. Remus listened patiently as his friend told him about Harry's words to him on Halloween night following the Dementor attack in Hogsmeade. "And this has been bothering you for, what, two weeks?" Sirius nodded. "Well, then," Remus continued, "it's a good thing I'm back, isn't? Someone's got to knock some sense into you two idiots."
Emmeline visited later in the evening, and Sirius excused himself from the hospital wing, claiming he needed to speak with Hagrid. The witch told him Hagrid wasn't back from his mission with the giants yet. Sirius grinned, said he knew, and left.
"He's hopeless," Remus muttered as the hospital wing doors closed.
"Yes, well, this is a relief from the mood he's been in since I got back," Emmeline said, sitting beside Remus in a chair.
Remus raised an eyebrow. "Meaning...?"
"Meaning he's been downright depressed. I don't know what he's told you, but we were convinced you were dead," she said quietly.
Remus watched her thoughtfully for a moment. "I told Sirius this once, and I suppose I should tell you, as well: you can't get rid of me that easily." He smiled softly.
"Too bad for me, then, eh?" She grinned.
He laughed quietly. "He said you were found using the two-way mirrors?"
She nodded. "Yeah. I couldn't figure them out at first—I suppose that was due to my panicking after you didn't return to the cave. Anyway, it worked out eventually..."
"Good," he said quietly. "I'm glad you got out of there relatively unharmed."
They fell into a comfortable silence for a few moments before the question she'd wanted to know for months fell out of her mouth. "What happened to you, Remus?" she asked hesitantly.
He averted his eyes quickly, not yet ready to answer that question. He started to tell her this, but at that moment, Harry very conveniently walked into the hospital wing and over to Remus' bed. "Hey, Harry." Remus smiled. "Heard you've had a rough few months."
The Hogwarts grounds were full of life for a cold, November evening. Many of the students had come out after dinner for fresh air, to study, or just to socialize. The trees were bare of their leaves, even the Whomping Willow, which seemed to shiver in the cold breeze. It would start to snow within the next few days, and there was no sight more beautiful than Hogwarts with a foot of snow on the ground.
Sirius had always enjoyed going to sit by the lake after it snowed. It wasn't to think, as most people would do; rather, Sirius went there to forget. During his sixth year, he'd spent many late nights under the snow-covered beech tree, trying to force the memories of what his family had said to him before he'd run away out of his mind. His friends had known he went down there, but none of them asked him why.
The next year, seventh year, Julia had joined him on a freezing cold January night. She'd called him a moron for sitting in the snow with only his robes, and wrapped him in a thick Muggle coat. Before that night, Julia had remained firm in her beliefs that Sirius Black was nothing more than an arrogant, self-centered, pureblooded git.
He, of course, had fancied her for a few years, but for some reason he still couldn't explain, was never able to tell her until that night. Sirius had never had much trouble with girls in his day, but there was always something different about Julia. It was much like Lily and James' relationship before seventh year; Lily couldn't stand James, and James couldn't get enough of Lily. Sirius and James both showed off in front of their crushes, and always made fools of themselves.
But that night in January, Sirius and Julia talked. And for a change, he didn't act like the git she thought him to be. They talked late into the night, discussing her family—he avoided questions about his own—and about their aspirations for the future. She'd wanted to be a writer when she was younger. Her fascination with what she called "fantasy" started at a very young age, and she'd always had dreams of writing a book about witches and wizards and magical creatures. When she'd come to Hogwarts, she'd wanted to know every detail about how her new world worked. After graduation, she'd been accepted into the Department of Wizard/Muggle Relations. A few days before she was to receive a promotion, Voldemort murdered her and her family.
Sirius still had some of the things she'd written. Some were for or about him, and some were just for her own entertainment. She'd spent a lot of her time at his flat after graduation, and most of her things were probably still there; the Ministry hadn't confiscated his London home after his arrest, and he was sure it was still in his name. But in the ten years he'd been free of Azkaban, he hadn't been back there. Remus tried to convince him a few years ago to just go and check on the place, air it out a bit. There were a few things Sirius still wasn't ready for, and visiting his London flat was one of them.
Sirius walked around the lake three times as night fell around him. He sat under the old beech tree he'd frequented with his friends in their youth and stared out at the dark lake, watching the giant squid surface a few times. Now that Remus was awake, and seemingly all right, maybe things could start getting back to normal. Sirius' mind wasn't clouded with depression anymore. His best friend was alive and well. They wouldn't have to stay at Hogwarts much longer, and while Number Twelve probably wasn't the best place for one to recuperate, at least Remus could rest there.
"Out for a late night stroll, Black?" said a cold, sneering voice.
"Actually, I was looking for something the giant squid could eat. But you're a bit too greasy; you might give him heartburn," Sirius said smoothly without turning around.
"I hear your precious werewolf has found his way home just like a loyal dog should," Snape said coldly.
"I hear Draco Malfoy makes a decent ferret. Too bad McGonagall had to show up and change him back," Sirius replied just as coldly. "What do you want, Snivelly?"
"I've been asked to inform you that your presence is requested in the Headmaster's study."
"And the Headmaster thought you were the best to send? The old man really is going senile," Sirius said, pushing himself from the cold earth and starting towards the castle before Snape could reply.
Back in the hospital wing, Remus and Harry were enjoying a light snack, approved by Madam Pomfrey and brought up to them by the school's house-elves. Harry was telling Remus about the school year so far, and Lockhart's short stint as Potions professor.
"That must have been quite interesting," Remus said dryly, taking a bite of pudding. "Did he teach you how to become a lying fraud like himself?"
Harry grinned. "No, but he did teach me how to make a potion to make my hair lie flat."
Remus eyed Harry's mass of unruly black hair. "I see you haven't used it," he teased.
"Are you kidding? And have my hair burned off my head?"
Remus chuckled. "What about Occlumency? Have you been keeping up with it?"
Harry nodded taking a sip of his butterbeer. "Yes, Emmeline gave me a lesson last week."
"Good."
"Speaking of Emmeline…" Harry grinned. Remus glared slightly at him. "What?" Harry asked innocently.
"Don't start, Harry," Remus muttered.
Harry's grin widened. "Do you fancy her?"
Remus sighed. "And why would you think that's any of your business?" he asked without much conviction.
Harry ignored Remus' tone. "Sirius said you fancy her," he said as if that settled the matter.
"Yes, well, Sirius also says Acromantulas are harmless."
Harry shrugged and sat back in his chair, letting the subject of Emmeline to drop. For now.
Remus watched Harry pick through a box of Every Flavor Beans thoughtfully for a few moments. Perhaps tonight wasn't the best night to bring it up, but after his conversation with Sirius earlier in the day, he had to know something. "Are you happy, Harry?'
"Huh?" Harry said, looking up startled from the candy box.
"Are you happy?" Remus repeated clearly.
Harry raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"
"Perhaps I should be more specific. Are you happy living with Sirius and me?"
"Why wouldn't I be?" Harry asked slowly, wondering if the painkilling potions Pomfrey was giving Remus was doing something to his head. "Oh," Harry said quietly in realization. "Sirius told you about Halloween, didn't he?"
Remus nodded. "He did," he said calmly. "And I just wanted to make sure you are happy with us. Let me explain something to you, Harry," he said before the teenager could interrupt. "There could be far worse fates for you than living with Sirius Black. I think I know better than anybody how frustrating he can be, but he's also the most loyal friend I've ever had, next to your father, of course.
"Now, I won't claim to know what you were thinking the night you told Sirius he wasn't your father, but I assure you that neither he nor I have ever tried to be. James was our best friend, Harry, and we could never take his place. Why do you think we make such an effort to tell you everything we know about your parents? You didn't have the chance to know them as we did, and you should have.
"When we took you from your aunt and uncle's home, neither of us wanted to replace your parents. We wanted you to be safe and happy, and we thought we'd done a damn good job of it. We set very few rules for you, only enough to keep you out of harm's way—we'd be there when you really needed us, so why should we have to set more than that?
Remus sighed. "Harry, you mean more to us that you could ever know. Everything we've done, every decision we've made in our lives over the last ten years, has revolved around you, in your best interest. Sirius asked you not to leave Hogwarts grounds because he knows the dangers that are out there. It's no secret that Lord Voldemort wants you dead, Harry," he said bluntly. "You are a threat to him. The prophecy, as much as we all hate to refer to it, very clearly says that you can destroy him. The few people who know of the prophecy besides you—Sirius, Dumbledore, and myself—we have faith that you will. But you can't very well do that if you don't have a soul."
"You think I can really defeat him?" Harry asked quietly.
Remus nodded. "I know you can. You're an amazing wizard, Harry, better than Sirius and I had ever thought you could be, whether you see it yet or not. And by no means do I wish to see you grow up before your time, but you've got to take Voldemort's threat seriously. You shouldn't fear Voldemort, but you should respect his power. What we've seen so far in this war..." Remus laughed darkly. "It's only just begun, my boy.
"But before you can face Voldemort, and you will have to face him at some point, you need to realize who is on your side, who is fighting with and for you. Sirius is very proud, Harry. He's very confident in himself—that can be both a blessing and a curse to him. He's very strong, very capable, very smart, and he knows it. There are very few people in this world who Sirius will lay everything down for. When it comes to you... Well, let's just say Sirius would do anything for you. He would die for you in a second, as would I. When it comes to you, Harry, Sirius takes things very much to heart.
"What you said to him... That hurt him more deeply than a Cruciatus curse could ever manage. In fact, I'm willing to bet he'd have taken any form of torture over what you said to him."
Harry looked down at his shoes. "What can I do?" he whispered hoarsely.
"Talk to him," Remus said simply. "He needs to be reassured of things. He may not come right out and say it—it's my experience that he won't—but he needs to know you don't hate him—"
"I don't hate him!" Harry loudly.
Remus held out a hand to quiet him. "I know that and you know that. As I've said, Sirius needs to know. Maybe not those exact words, but I'm confident you get my meaning." Harry nodded pensively. Remus sighed tiredly. "It's late. You should get some rest, and I need to get some myself before Poppy tries to give me more potions... Talk to him, Harry, as soon as you get the chance."
"I will," Harry said.
"Promise me."
"I promise."
Remus smiled softly. "All right, then. Come back in the morning and see me. I have missed you."
Harry smiled. "We've missed you, too."
"You know, I never got a hug from you. Sirius nearly broke my ribs again this morning," Remus said with a wince.
"I wasn't sure if it would hurt you or not," Harry admitted sheepishly.
Remus rolled his eyes. "Get over here."
Harry grinned as he stood and awkwardly wrapped his arms around his surrogate godfather. They held each other for a few moments before Remus pushed Harry out to arm's length. "You've grown," he said fondly, ruffling Harry's hair. "Now, off to bed with you. Good night, Harry."
"Night, Remus," Harry responded, pulling away and starting out of the hospital wing.
"Oh, and Harry!" Remus called, his voice growing hoarse. Harry turned around. "To answer your question about Emmeline... perhaps a little."
Harry grinned and left.
Remus shook his head and got comfortable in his bed, ready for long hours of sleep.
A week and a half later, Dumbledore convinced the school nurse that it was time Remus returned home. He'd made incredible progress in recovering from most of his injuries; his right leg still pained him horribly at times, and he would need to use a walking stick until the leg was strong enough to support his weight.
On the morning that Sirius was to take Remus back to Number Twelve, Madam Pomfrey spent two hours going over potions Remus would need to take in the coming months. She wrote out a very detailed schedule on when and how Remus would have to take them; some of them had to be mixed into certain foods while others had to be taken in the middle of the night.
Sirius assured her that he would take very good care of the patient, and that he would be just fine. Besides, with Molly Weasley and Emmeline Vance around, Remus wouldn't need to lift a finger. Emmeline very kindly brought Remus clean clothes to change into before leaving Hogwarts, and Harry helped him dress—Remus was still quite weak and stiff and had trouble bending in certain angles.
"All right," Sirius called, coming out of Pomfrey's office. "We ready to go?"
"Ready as I'll ever be," Remus said flatly. Emmeline helped him stand from his bed, handing him his walking stick. "How are we getting there?"
"Well," Emmeline began, "at first, we thought about Apparition, but we weren't sure if you'd be up to it. Then we thought about Floo until Sirius pointed out how much you hate that. We settled on a portkey. Sirius and I will be on either side of you in case you fall when we land."
Remus rolled his eyes, his lips twitching. "Do you really think me that inept that I can't keep my balance after using a portkey?"
"Remus, I had to help you eat breakfast this morning. Harry had to help you get dressed. So yes, we do think you that inept," Sirius said lightly with a grin.
"Sod off, Padfoot," Remus muttered.
Before Dumbledore arrived with their portkey, Harry said goodbye to Remus, obviously not wanting to let the wizard out of his sights anymore than Sirius did. It would only be a month before the Christmas holidays, but Harry was making it out to be years before he'd see Remus again. Emmeline had to promise that they would take good care of Remus before Harry would leave for his morning classes.
There was an awkward moment as Harry started to leave. Sirius told Harry he'd see him later, and moved away quickly to help Emmeline with Remus. Harry had obviously wanted to say more than "see you" to his godfather, but couldn't seem to find the right words. Remus gave the boy a very pointed look, reminding him of their conversation ten days before. Harry only nodded, mouthed 'I will', and left the hospital wing.
Sirius sat on Remus' bed looking over the different bottles of potions, but Remus was sure his mind wasn't on medications. Emmeline tried to lighten the mood by telling Remus that Molly was planning a large feast that night to welcome him back. Molly hadn't cooked much in the last months, and her mood had improved greatly upon hearing that Remus was returning.
Dumbledore entered soon after with a flattened Quaffle that would be used as the portkey. The Headmaster had only visited Remus twice since his return to Hogwarts and both times were only for short periods. "It is good to see you up and about, my dear boy," he said quietly, his eyes twinkling merrily. "I look forward to seeing you back to full strength again."
"Thank you, sir." Remus smiled.
Sirius bit his lip to avoid asking Dumbledore if he was planning to send Remus on another mission. Perhaps this time Remus would be killed. He resisted, however, not allowing his less than happy feelings towards the Headmaster to ruin the morning. He still believed it was Dumbledore's fault that Remus was in this situation.
"I will see all of you soon, I suppose," Dumbledore said, handing Sirius the portkey.
Emmeline and Sirius stood, the knapsack of potions Pomfrey packed for Remus over Sirius' shoulder, Remus' walking stick in Emmeline's hand. The three of them touched the portkey, Sirius and Emmeline placing their free hands firmly around Remus' upper arm, and waited for the portkey to activate.
Less than a minute later, they were pulled by their navels into the familiar swirl of colors. They hit the stone ground of the basement kitchen of Number Twelve, and Remus stumbled into Emmeline. Sirius caught them both before they tumbled to the ground.
"Quite inept, I would say," Sirius teased.
"Sod off," Remus said again. "Can I sit, please? I think I may be a bit sick."
Emmeline moved over and pulled out a chair for Remus while Sirius helped him across the kitchen. Above them, there was a crash, a muttered curse that could only have belonged to Tonks, and the immediate shrieks of Sirius' mother.
"Welcome home, Moony," Sirius said dryly.